by Claire Angel
I blinked and went to the kitchen for some water.
Lindsay was sitting with her parents on the couch and I needed a minute to contain my thoughts.
I berated myself for taking so long to leave him as I stared outside at the picturesque scenery. He started pulling away in the beginning, but I thought it was for work. I knew he was busy and he still included me in his nightlife. I met friends that I never connected with and celebrities that would never pass through this small town. Penn was a big name in the city and I was starstruck for a long time. I saw a life I’d never see on my own with a husband that worked hard. I had a beautiful place to live. I had what so many women would consider a good life.
I glanced back to see that Mama was still sleeping and Bri was falling asleep safe in Mark’s arms. I stepped outside with my water and noted that he watched me closely. I hoped that he’d let her sleep and give me my peace.
I thought back to the mind-blowing sex that decreased slowly. At first, he was willing to stay up all night with me. We agreed to wait to have kids in the beginning so it was all for pleasure. Penn knew what to do and made me cum hard every time around his condom-sheathed cock. If nothing else, he was careful.
I thought I had the world at my fingertips as we moved all over his bed in the room lit by the moon. It was in the months following that I noticed he was slowing down to a couple nights a week, falling asleep after one roll in the hay. Then it was every couple of weeks as he told me that he was busy at work. I thought it must be normal in a marriage after the first year.
I didn’t have anything to compare it to since my father left and Mama devoted her life to her kids.
How I let the following year drag on was beyond me. I suppose I just held out hope things might change. I went to New York to start a new life. At least he hadn’t completely left me like Daddy did.
It hit me that I was holding onto Penn for reasons linked to my past. Things were both good and bad in a relationship, but we were both in it. We’d work through it. I tried to convince myself, but I was failing miserably.
I finished the water and closed my eyes at my obvious abandonment issues. I married the first man that wooed me because I thought he’d treat me like his queen. How wrong I was. He barely lived in the same house as I did at the end.
I knew that we were over as I leaned back. I accepted it and let the remaining pain rock through me over the loss of something I wanted to be forever.
Penn was so gorgeous when we met with that cocky attitude and the carefree way that he seemed to live. He was the bad boy I never met back home. He was sexy and forbidden in the beginning. He drew me right into his world.
I heard voices inside and turned my head to see that Mama was awake. She was already looking better.
I walked in to see her stretching with a smile on her face.
“How was your nap?” I asked her as she gazed up at me with sleepy eyes.
“I love waking up to all of you,” She replied as we all grinned at each other.
We made dinner later and just watched movies in the living room. Mark had given Mama a big screen TV a couple of years ago and we watched some older movies on cable as he cuddled Bri and I had Lindsay draped all over me. There was a bowl of popcorn on the table and some candy that Lindsay kept sneaking when her dad was distracted.
He spoke up when we were all getting ready for bed, telling us that Walden was going to bring dinner the following night. He knew that he and Bri would be tired from house hunting and figured we could all take a break. I was the first one down the hallway with a little girl behind m.
I was a little irritated that he was still pushing this issue.
We went in and curled up under the covers together as I feigned being sleepy until she was out. I stared at the ceiling after that and tried to reason with myself.
Walden was a local resident and Mark seemed to be friends with him. What was so wrong with him coming over if it made Mama feel better? He was kind and hardly pressured me the way my family was.
I finally fell asleep after thinking for a while and woke up in the morning to voices in the hallway. I turned to look at Lindsay still sleeping and rose to ask if she was going with them.
“She would never allow us to look without her. I’ll make something for breakfast and we can leave in an hour!” Bri told me as I nodded and went back to bed to shake my niece.
She was groggy at first but jumped up when I reminded her of what she was doing today. I was planning to stay home with Mama as much as I wanted to go with them. She needed someone to look after her. Mark had been so considerate of her the past few days.
I cleaned up the breakfast dishes and then they went house hunting.
Mama was watching TV and I heard the soft sounds of voices over the water as I slowly washed and rinsed. It was soothing to work like this and I lost myself to the tired way my body was feeling. I thought I might take a nap with Mama and fully relax.
*
They ended up finding a perfect house just a couple blocks away, which was typical here. It was big with three large bedrooms and a den that could serve as Mark’s office. The school was within walking distance for Lindsay and Brianne glowed as she showed us the pictures they took.
Lindsay couldn’t stop talking about her new room. I felt jealous of their happiness as I was still working through the fog that had become my life.
I had the sense to shower before dinner after dozing most of the day. I didn’t want to look awful when Walden showed up, but I wasn’t trying to impress him. I was brought up to look my best whenever possible. I dressed in jeans and a burgundy thermal before clipping my hair back. I felt like I’d made a choice in my life and smiled for a long moment. I glanced at my phone and saw it lit up, frowning as I walked over.
Penn: Call me when you can. I think we need to talk about this.
Talk? I’d tried everything to fix us over the last year and a half. We’d tried talking, arguing, and I was even pleading at some point for him to work on us like I was trying to do. He refused counseling and the more I got to know him, I realized that Penn shut his emotions off. Maybe it was because of his parents.
I left the phone on the dresser and walked out to the kitchen to start getting plates and silverware. Lindsay was showing Mama the pictures of the house and I grinned at Bri as I joined her at the counter.
“Someone is excited,” I remarked as she playfully rolled her eyes.
“All of us are but she doesn’t need to deal with moving. Mark is pretty sure that we’re just going to get new furniture for this one, though. We’ll keep the cabin for a vacation place. I am a good shopper and I’ve heard there are good sites to look at.”
The doorbell rang.
Mark stood up to answer it. He’d been talking to Mama as well. I prepared myself for my family to push Walden on me as Mark’s voice carried through the house. He led Walden in and I glanced back to see his hair pulled back from his face in a low ponytail and a huge bag in his hands.
“He looks cute,” Bri remarked beside me and I shot her a glare. “You are staying here, aren’t you?”
She had a point there. She and her best Hallie were happy with their mountain men, but I had a bad experience with Penn and the two boyfriends I’d cared about before him. I just wanted to cool off for a while.
“Evening, ladies,” Walden greeted us as Bri shot him a blinding smile.
“Hi, Walden. Thanks so much for getting dinner for us.”
He told her it was no problem and then smiled at me.
“Hi, Walden. Thank you. This is so kind of you,” I told him as our gazes locked for a moment.
He was cute, but I couldn’t go from one relationship to the other.
He set the bag down and we unloaded it together. It was a generous dinner of chicken, potatoes, vegetables, and two pies that would easily feed all of us. That was saying a lot with the two men in our group.
Mom insisted on joi
ning us at the table and I smiled at her. I fixed her a plate and she took the head of the table as we gathered around her.
Walden asked Mark about the house and I enjoyed their easy banter as I ate.
Mark had only a few close male friends but the ones he had, he kept. I remembered him hanging out with Walden when we were young, but at that point, our age difference felt huge. I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the friends that came over to the house. Mark forbade them from even looking at me. I realized that he never spoke to Penn that way.
It was bittersweet as I sipped wine and observed them. Mom was drinking coffee and she looked down the table happily. I realized that she was getting better by the day. That was good. It made me happy to know Mark and his family would be there for her.
I could return to New York and try again with Penn. I let my shoulders drop at the thought and Bri nudged me with her hip.
“Are you okay?” She asked softly.
I smiled, nodding in response.
After we’d cleaned up and everyone continued the conversation in the living room, I stepped out for some fresh air. I had another glass of wine and sipped it slowly as I watched the sky darkening. I considered asking Lindsay to take a walk with me and straightened up when the sliding door behind me opened slowly.
Great. I didn’t need to go back inside.
Chapter 4
Walden
I watched Penny slip outside after dinner and took a drink from the beer Mark gave me. She was more beautiful than in school with her dark curls and dark blue eyes. I glanced at Mark to see him smiling at his wife and not watching me. Back then, I never would have told him that I thought his sister was hot. He threatened all of us away from her, but I knew she dated a couple of guys and hid it from him.
Now, he seemed to be keen on inviting me over here. I was close to his mom and enjoyed both of them, but his pretty sister was a definite draw. I felt like she was holding back with all of us and sensed that she’d been through something bad.
I played back the conversations I had with Mark over the years. I remembered that Penny got married a few years ago and how I held in my disappointment.
Mark and Nancy didn’t seem to welcome him as much as they should have.
I glanced at Penny’s left hand as she excused herself to go outside, noting that her finger was bare. Maybe she was separated or better yet, getting divorced. I knew that I shouldn’t want that. It seemed like she was down about the situation, but she was home. They all needed her here.
I excused myself and stood to walk to the door that led to the balcony. I assumed that it drew attention to me as the room fell quiet for a moment, but I kept going. I was an adult now and Mark wouldn’t threaten to kick my ass like he used to do to everyone back in high school. If he did, he would find that I could go a few rounds. It wouldn’t be the first fight I was ever in.
I reached for the handle of the door and slid it open, feeling the cool night air on my skin. Stepping through, I watched as she moved up from a slumped position and seemed to anticipate my arrival. I slid it closed and blocked out the conversation from the living room that had started again, listening to the crickets and frogs that filled the air as the sun slowly set.
She murmured something as my eyes slid down her body, pausing on her sweet ass. It had only gotten better. I looked up to meet her eyes. Darkness crossed her face and I smiled as I moved to stand beside her.
“What are you doing out here?” Penny asked as she seemed to stiffen.
“I like the sunsets here. I often make a point to take a second and enjoy it.” I let the words sink in before looking at her, seeming to relax beside me.
“I do too. I was actually thinking of taking a walk since it’s so nice out here and I’ve been inside all day.” She made me grin and I saw her look at me with a small smile.
“Your brother would never let me live it down if I allowed you to go alone. May I accompany you, Miss Penny?” I thickened my accent and she laughed before nodding gently.
I led the way to the steps and felt her follow me on to the path that led behind the house into the forest.
“Is this okay or would you prefer walking the neighborhood?” I called out, pausing to look at her.
“I love the privacy and peace of the trees,” Penny replied as I waited for her to catch up to me.
“Thanks for helping Mama out so much, Walden. I know how busy you are.”
“She’s a kind person and I make time for those types of people. It isn’t that hard to me, but a lot of people seem to use their busy life as a crutch.”
I watched as her shoulders stiffened before she took a larger step.
“I like having Mark back too. He left so suddenly before and he looks happy now.”
“He is,” she confirmed with a pleased tone in her voice. “Mama is over the moon that he’ll be living here now.”
“What about you? Are you, back to stay?” I pressed her gently as she stared up through the trees to gaze at the changing night sky.
There was enough light to see with a full moon but if not, I had these woods memorized.
“I guess I am thinking about it. I came for Mama but realized how much I love it here.” She gave me a curious glance. “I came from New York. I don’t know what Mark told you.”
“He mentioned that you lived there at some point. What did you think?” I asked as she took a slow breath.
“I was excited to go there. It seemed like it might offer so many possibilities and it was different for me. I enjoyed it for about the first year, year and a half. There was a lot to see.” She sighed. “After that, I realized the only place I could get anything like this was in Central Park and even that had risks. I could drive for a while and find an abundance of outdoor activities, but they were never here at home. I always missed my family. Hearing that Mama was in the hospital shocked something into me and I was packing before I even booked a flight,” She laughed nervously and glanced at me.
“Have you ever considered leaving?”
“I think maybe when my parents died. I knew they weren’t my real parents, but they were the best version of it. John and Jean were amazing people and showed me so much since adopting me at five. I had no real family and I was only twenty when they were on that plane. It was a trip they planned for a year. I lost everything in the blink of an eye.” I shuddered at the memory of the crash of the flight to Italy playing on the news.
“I had a lot of support from everyone here. Once the dust settled, I realized they planned for me to be just fine. I bought the cafe and remodeled it into something new. I help a few people with their businesses. I did decide to move into the cabin at the edge of town though. The house had too many memories. It’s close enough to get supplies when needed unlike Mark’s in the middle of nowhere.” I threw a teasing tone into my voice at the end and she laughed.
“He is too far. Was, I mean. It sounds like they’re going to settle right in,” Penny offered and I nodded.
“I can’t wait to be so close to Lin again. We’re close considering that we haven’t seen each other much in the last few years. I want to build on that. This place is going to be perfect for her,” She laughed shortly.
“I am glad that he moved there to that cabin. He ended up building himself back up and then met Bri. He’s so crazy about her.” I knew his ex-Nina from the only year in school she attended with us.
She was gorgeous but in a cold way. In my opinion, she manipulated her way into Mark’s life. Leaving him and their daughter was cowardly. It caused both of them so much pain.
“He looks content. He needed a woman like Bri in his life. I can’t believe they met on his job,” I said as I thought about the story.
“I think that he probably met a lot of women on that particular job, but I don’t ask about his personal life.” She sounded disgusted for a moment and then snickered under her breath. “I think I am more surprised that he pursued her and staked his cla
im. Coming to visit and meeting her stunned me. I never thought I’d see the day.” She added
“He knew what he wanted. That’s how it should be,” I mused aloud as I took her in for a moment.
I wanted her back in high school and had a huge crush. Compared to her brother, Penny had been shy and seemed to live in his shadow. She had a lot of friends and was always talked about as a nice person that had a big heart. I could see now that she had spread her wings and grown into herself by living her life the way that she chose to.
A breeze blew around us and Penny lifted her face to it. She smiled and reached back to release the clip as dark waves fell around her shoulders. She was so fucking gorgeous. I fought the urge to reach out and touch her.
“I think that probably doesn’t happen to everybody. Some make a mistake in their choices and end up living with it,” Penny said reflectively as I stared forward into a meadow that was lit by the bright moonlight.
She paused and looked around for a few long moments as her hair wrapped around her face, finally sighing. I barely caught it above the sound of the breeze.
“I don’t think everybody was cut out for love.”
“That’s a bold statement,” I argued lightly.
She shrugged with one shoulder as she stared into the reflection of the sky in a small pond that was a few feet ahead of us.
“Did you used to spend a lot of time back here as a kid like we did?” Penny seemed to be changing the subject and I nodded easily.
“I came here every day after school and on the weekends. I fished out here, went swimming…stargazing…such good memories,” I replied, thinking back.
I didn’t have a lot of close friends when I was getting used to living with my new parents but once the shock of it all wore off, I got to know a small group of boys. Mark was one of those boys and we’d kept in touch all this time. “I think there is still a tree fort that we built over that way. I haven’t thought about it in years. Want to see?”
