William was listening to her with both concern and interest. “What will you do?”
Avalyn stopped writing and turned to him. “This missive makes my wishes known, as Lady Aubrey,” she replied. “In this missive, it states that even though my husband is dead, I am pregnant with his child and the Aubrey estates are my child’s birthright and will be held in state for the child until I return. It also states that I am taking an indefinite leave of Guerdley Cross. I will be traveling for an unknown amount of time and during my absence, Barton St. John is in charge of Guerdley Cross and has my permission to make any and all decisions regarding the Aubrey estates in my absence. I also make it very clear that I will return someday but I do not say when. Truthfully, I do not know if I will ever return, but this way, Barton is in charge of Guerdley Cross and my uncle cannot touch it. If he cannot locate me, then he cannot marry me off, and Guerdley Cross remains in state until I return.”
William understood well her logic; he had to admit that it was brilliant. But something more concerned him. “Where will you go?” he asked.
Avalyn met his gaze steadily. “To a little bread shop in London,” she said softly. “After that, I am not entirely sure. I will send you word when I know.”
William’s expression tightened dramatically at the realization of something he should have suspected all along. Avalyn may have married Aubrey, but Brogan was not out of her mind, not in the least. Now that Aubrey was dead, there was nothing to prevent her from going to Brogan and finishing what she had started.
“So you will go to d’Aurilliac?” he hissed. “Avalyn, how can you do that? With everything you have put that man through, how can you return to him and continue his torment?”
Avalyn knew it would be his reaction and it was difficult not to react in kind. “I will not continue his torment,” she murmured. “I will marry him.”
William’s eyebrows few up in disbelief. “Marry him?” he spat. “What of the conversations we had where you acknowledge there was no possibility of a harmonious marriage for the two of you? What about everything you said whilst locked in the vault? Was that all a lie?”
She was growing increasingly defensive. “I said all of that because of my betrothal to Charles and you know it,” she fired back softly. “I had to say that to save all of us from spending the rest of our lives in the vault. Now, with Charles dead, there is no reason why Brogan and I cannot be married. William, I love him. He is the father of my child. I will always love him and not being with him, to be a pawn in my uncle’s schemes for more power and wealth, have ripped out my soul. I want Brogan and I will have him, right or wrong. If I have to choose between love and my honor, I will choose love every time.”
It was a passionate speech, enough to cool William’s building rage. He just stood there and stared at her, sickened to the bone.
“As I would choose love,” he muttered, “for I have loved you as long as I can remember. Forget about Brogan, Avalyn. Marry me and we will live here at Guerdley Cross as man and wife, and I will love you and only you until I die. Do me this honor; please.”
Avalyn’s defensive stance took a direct hit; she had been expecting a confession like this for a very long time and the expression on his face cut her to the bone. Her dear friend, the man she could not do with out… but she did not love him. It was a horribly painful thing to tell him.
“Oh… William,” she whispered sorrowfully. “You are my very dearest friend and I love you as such. But I do not love you as a wife would love a husband. You deserve a woman who would worship you, but that woman is not me.”
William knew that but to hear it from her lips cut him all the same. Still, he could not give up; he had loved her too long to give in so easily.
“Will you not at least consider it?” he whispered.
Avalyn’s expression was wrought with pain as she reached out, putting her hand over his. “I cannot,” she murmured. “I love Brogan and I will do whatever necessary to be with him. As you love me, surely you can understand that. If we were separated, and in love, surely you would do whatever you had to in order to be with me.”
He could feel her palm on his hand, the heat searing his flesh. God, it was a painful moment for him, one he’d hoped would have gone more in his favor. But he could see that it was not to be. If he was honest with himself, he supposed he knew that all along. But letting go… that was the difficulty.
“Aye,” he whispered, barely audible. “I would do whatever necessary.”
Avalyn squeezed his hand and let go. “Then you understand that I must go to London now,” she said softly. “I will not expect you to escort me, but mayhap you can arrange for someone who will. I would be grateful.”
Jaw ticking, face lined with sorrow, he shook his head and averted his gaze, moving away from the desk.
“Nay,” he muttered. “I will take you myself. I have been with you this far. I will be with you until the end.”
Avalyn watched him go with tears in her eyes. She wanted to say more to him but dare not; she was afraid any further exchange would end up in heated words and she did not want that. Next to leaving Brogan in that dirty cell those weeks ago, it was the singularly most painful thing she had ever had to do. William had always been so good to her; it would seem he would continue to be until his services were no longer required. With a heavy sigh, she sanded the ink on the missive and rolled up the vellum, sealing it with the Aubrey seal. Her entire life was sealed up in that document, and before the sun hit noon on that day, she and William were riding on for London.
When Richard read the missive two days later, delivered by Barton St. John no less, he was so angry that he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Whether or not she was physically present, it looked to all concerned that Avalyn had left her uncle with a figurative, and literal, black eye.
She’d won the war.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Three weeks later
Brogan couldn’t help but notice that little Lake was gaining weight. With his mother’s constant tending, and feeding, the little girl had turned into a healthy little cherub with round rosy cheeks. She was sweet, and funny, and an utter joy to be around. In fact, it had almost been enough to take his mind off his horrendous grief at times, but not entirely. He still had moments of melancholy so painful that he would literally double over from it.
It had been over two months since that painful scene with Avalyn in the vault of Guerdley Cross. He lived that moment over and over in his mind on a daily basis. Because he had a tendency towards great and almost suicidal depression, as evidenced on the night he met Avalyn, his mother and St. Alban were with him almost constantly. If one wasn’t around, the other was. He knew it was because they were worried about him and he had reassured them both more than once that he would never again do anything foolish against his life. Even though they nodded their heads, he knew they didn’t believe him.
But their doubt and constant attention didn’t bother him now like it had in the earlier days. In fact, everything had bothered him in the first few weeks as they had all returned to London like a rag-tag band of gypsies; him, St. Alban, his mother, little Lake, and the sirens. All of them traipsing back to London in defeat. The sirens had returned to their lair in the troop house while St. Alban had split his time between there and the bread shop. All of them, trying to resume their lives before they had uprooted everything and had traveled north. Still, the normalcy they sought was fragile; there were days that all seemed well and days that seemed dark.
But little Lake gave them all something to focus on, her youth and beauty filling their lives like the brilliance of stars. For Brogan, in particular, since she went nearly everywhere with him. No longer a soldier for Edward, he now lived with his mother in the little apartment over her bread shop. He didn’t want to be a warrior any longer; he wanted to live as a simple man because it seemed the more pleasing thing to do. He found that he was actually happier there than he’d been in a very long time. Memories of Avalyn, for th
e most part, were easing.
He couldn’t help but think of her at times, however, knowing she was now Lady Aubrey and wondering if life was good to her. It was his wish for her, truly. He could never think ill of her no matter what; his relationship with her had, if nothing else, showed him he was indeed capable of living and loving. She had shown him such love and humor and devotion that he had come away from it a much richer man. Still, he wished she would have married him. He wished it every single day.
This morning had dawned warm and bright, the humidity from the river in July already creeping into the still London air. Brogan had risen before dawn to start the fire in the ovens for his mother and to begin his chores for the day. He had wood to chop and a roof to mend, and he was perfectly content going about his tasks.
Lake, however, heard him get up and she rose, too, rushing to him with a hug and a kiss to start his day. His mother had given her a daily duty, and that was to collect the eggs from the chickens they kept out in the alley behind the shop. Therefore, Brogan dressed her in a little tunic and hose, with little boots on her feet, and together they went out to collect eggs from the chickens that sometimes liked to peck. Lake was fearful of them but Brogan encouraged her, going so far as to push the chickens aside so she could move in and collect the eggs. He had just ushered the little girl and her basket full of eggs back into the house when he caught movement in the alleyway.
A man appeared in his periphery and Brogan turned casually to see who it was. For a moment, he simply stared at the man because he wasn’t entirely sure that he was not hallucinating. William stood there, clad in armor and looking particularly weary, and Brogan just stared at him. He even blinked his eyes, thinking William would disappear, but he didn’t. He was still there. Jolted, and suddenly unable to breathe, Brogan rose unsteadily to his feet.
“Inglesbatch?” he asked hesitantly. “Is it… you?”
William nodded, exhaustion in his movements. “It is,” he said. “I was hoping to find you here. I did not want to go hunting all over London.”
Brogan had no idea why he was filled with terror, but he was. He couldn’t seem to shake a massive sense of foreboding.
“Why?” he demanded. “What has happened? Why are you here?”
William stared at him a moment before looking over his shoulder, off into the small passageway that separated the bread shop from its neighbor. Brogan found himself looking there, too, feeling like a perfectly sane man until Avalyn suddenly appeared.
Then, it was if all of his control left him; strength and heart and mind drained right out of him at her appearance and he staggered, falling to one knee. The shock was too great. His collapse brought William and Avalyn running, both of them grasping his arms to keep him from falling further.
“Brogan?” Avalyn gasped. “Are you well?”
Brogan looked at her, his mouth hanging open, as she held on to his left arm. He stared and stared at her and, as they watched, tears popped to his eyes.
“Avalyn?” he breathed. “Is it really you? Or am I dreaming again?”
Seeing the tears in his eyes poked holes in Avalyn’s control and her eyes welled up. She’d had three weeks to plan what to say to the man and she thought she had a perfect speech prepared, but the look of astonishment on his face completely disrupted her statement.
“You are not dreaming,” she whispered, a lump in her throat. “It is me.”
As realization dawned, Brogan ripped his right arm free of William’s grasp and cupped Avalyn’s face, staring at the woman as tears popped from his eyes. Seeing that Brogan was weeping, Avalyn broke down completely. His touch against her skin, the big and warm hands, dissolved every last shred of composure. God, she had missed him. There was so very much to tell him.
“Why are you here?” Brogan demanded hoarsely. “Why have you come? Has something happened?”
Avalyn struggled to speak coherently. “I came to tell you that I am widowed,” she wept. “Brogan, there was so much I had planned to tell you in a manner that was calm and rational, but I cannot seem to do that at this moment. Forgive me. I came because… because I love you more than anything on this earth and I want to know… I do not blame you if you do not love me any longer considering everything that has happened, but I had hoped….”
His answer was to cut her off, brutally, as his mouth clamped down over hers. It was a kiss of such power and longing that the force behind it bled out of his very pores. It swamped her, enveloped her, and cloaked her with its potency. His arms went around her, holding her against him, listening to her soft sobs as he suckled her lips, tasting her tears along with his.
“I love you,” he whispered in between kisses. “I do not care why you are here, only that you are. For all time I will love you and only you.”
Avalyn’s weeping turned joyful, throwing her arms around the man’s neck and squeezing him tightly. Happy, joyful kisses rained down upon them both, from one to the other, each one of them demonstrating the thrill of the reunion. The bliss was beyond measure.
“Oh, Brogan,” Avalyn gasped. “I am so sorry for all you had to go through. I put you through so much… I can only plead for your forgiveness. I never meant to hurt you or mislead you.”
Brogan was suckling her lips furiously but he eased off, instead, taking a moment to gaze into her beautiful, flushed face. He didn’t think he’d ever see those delicious features again and, like a starving man, he was eating his fill.
“There is nothing to forgive,” he assured her, his voice quivering. “Love took us through a strange and difficult course and there is nothing to forgive, for anything. But tell me… you said you are widowed? What happened to Aubrey?”
Avalyn took a deep breath, struggling for calm. “He died on our wedding night,” she said softly. “I am Lady Aubrey and his estates belong to me, but I could not… I had to come, Brogan. I had to find you.”
He studied her carefully. “Why?”
“To find out… to discover if you would be willing to marry me and take me away from England,” she said. “We cannot stay here, Brogan. My uncle would never let us have a moment’s peace. I fear this is our last chance and we must take it if… if you are still willing.”
Brogan stared at her a moment before a smile broke out on his lips. It spread across his entire face and the tears threatened to return. “Marry you?” he repeated. “I will marry you this day and we shall go wherever you wish. De Neville will never find us.”
Avalyn gazed at him as if hardly believing his answer. “Are you sure?” she pressed. “Oh, Brogan… are you certain?”
“Of course I am!”
Relieved, overwhelmed, Avalyn burst into soft sobs and Brogan wrapped her up in his big arms, rocking her gently. It was the best sensation in the world and his heart, so badly damaged, was miraculously healing, stronger than before. Every heartache, every trial and tribulation, faded from his mind as if it had never happened. The human heart was forgiving that way. He had Avalyn back and that was all that mattered. As he held her, he happened to catch a glimpse of William standing off to his right.
The man looked sorrowful and Brogan knew why. Brogan knew because he had, in fact, had the same expression when he thought Avalyn had been lost to him forever. As he held Avalyn, feeling her sobs of joy against him, he gaze locked with William’s.
“Thank you for bringing her to me,” he murmured. “You are a true and faithful knight. And I swear upon my life that I will take good care of her.”
William knew that; the reunion between Avalyn and Brogan was breaking his heart, wishing with all his soul that it had been him with his arms around her and not Brogan. But he knew it was not to be. He was resigned to it. Now, it was time for him to move on and make his own life, a life that no longer included the hope of Avalyn as his wife. Now, he was free, but he knew he was leaving her in very good hands. There was nothing more for him to do. After a moment, he smiled faintly.
“I know you will,” he muttered. “But you have no idea wh
at you are getting in to, truly. She is very stubborn sometimes. You have my permission to spank her.”
Brogan grinned, nodding his head in understanding. “Did you ever spank her?”
“I never had the heart to.”
“What makes you think I will?”
William grinned as well, a moment of levity and relief. As he gazed at the pair, he knew their path wouldn’t be easy but as long as they had one another, he was sure that even though the rough times, their love would endure. He’d been wondering the entire trip to London if bringing Avalyn to Brogan had been the right thing to do and at this moment, he could see that it was. All of the struggle, all of the adversity and chaos the two had been through, this was the sweetest reward of all. It had been worth it. He couldn’t help but be happy for her.
With a nod of his head, an acknowledgment that his job was over, he excused himself and turned for his horse. He wasn’t needed here any longer. But Avalyn’s voice stopped him.
“William?” she called.
He paused to look at her. “My lady?”
Avalyn gently pulled herself from Brogan’s embrace, making her way to William and standing in front of him. For a moment, she simply looked at him. Everything she wanted to say was in her expression and he understood. Gratitude and adoration and fondness was reflected there. But after a few moments of staring, she threw her arms around his neck and squeezed. Leaving him with a kiss on the cheek, she whispered softly.
“Thank you,” she murmured. “You are the most loyal and true friend anyone could ever have and I will never forget you.”
William, struggling with her bittersweet words, gave her a quirky smile. “See that you do not,” he told her. “I expect you to name your first born son after me.”
“I swear it shall be done.”
“It had better.”
Avalyn grinned, watching him as he walked away to collect his charger. She continued to watch as he spurred the beast down the avenue, kicking up a small could of dust in the warm air until he disappeared from view. Nay, she would never forget him. None of this would have been possible if it had not been for him.
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