“Ok. Ok. I get it. No need to say more.” It seemed like every time I called the hotel where the band was staying a woman answered. Sure, Dominic was sharing a room with Ramon. So were Ash and Linc. Necessity had forced the two cousins into an uneasy truce, but in order to do so they had decided not to talk about Simone. All four of them were sacrificing to endure the grind of the extended tour, doing whatever it took to survive the monotony of the road. No penthouse accommodations or fancy meals for the opening band. That kind of stuff was for the headliners. To save money the guys were eating the catered stuff the roadies did each day.
“Don’t worry. Your prince is undefiled, Maleficent. He’s too hung up on you to see or think about anyone else. It’s nauseating. And since you came to the show in New York, even Perry wants to know how the cute Cali girl is doing.”
“Tell him I’m sick of the cold. Sick of the snow. And dying to get back to the ocean.” I sighed.
“You’ve got the Atlantic right outside your door in New Haven.”
“Yeah, but the surf here isn’t the same.”
“No, it’s not.”
“It smells different. Looks different. Feels different. I can’t wait to get back on my board, though I probably won’t remember if I’m right or goofy foot it’s been so long.”
“You’ll remember, surfer girl. You’ll remember. Hang in there.”
I twirled the phone cord around my finger while counting the seconds in my head. I’d have to end the call soon. Dominic insisted I reverse the charges, but he only had that tiny daily allotment that the guys split four ways. He had saved his part for months to pay for my train ticket to visit him in New York. That had been the only time I had seen him since Labor Day. He had made love to me so tenderly, I had cried after I’d left. His eyes had been misty, too. It seemed like an eternity until the summer when I would finish my sophomore year at Yale and we both would return home to OB. The band would finally have a break that coincided with mine but it wouldn’t last. They had to return to the studio soon to start work on another album. The first hadn’t done near as well as Morris had expected.
“I don’t know what the point of all of this is,” I admitted, staring out my dorm window at the falling snow on The Commons and wishing I was looking at the limitless blue of the Pacific instead. “What good is a humanities degree when I just want to open a surf shop and have a family someday?”
“So you’ve mentioned a couple of times. You sound unhappier each time I talk to you. You should tell your parents how you feel.”
“I know,” I mumbled. More and more lately, Ramon’s advice matched Dominic’s. I think they talked about me. “But I’m afraid they won’t understand. My dad will tell me how hard it was for him to work his way up to grocery store manager without a degree. My mom will remind me how lucky I am to have a full scholarship. They would both be right.”
“Sure. Those things might be true. But they’re not your truth. And you’re not their little girl anymore. So make your own choices. Do your own thing. In the end, it’s your life and you only get one to live the way you want to, right? I’ve been to your house before. I’ve seen how your parents are with you. They might get mad, but they’ll eventually come around.”
“Did your dad take it well the first time you told him you were going to be a rock musician?”
“Hell, no. But he changed his mind.”
“Before or after you got the contract with Zenith?”
“Before.”
“Well, he’s a good father. You’re very fortunate.”
“He’s alright.” I got the impression that he was much more than alright. Ramon never spoke a bad word about him. His mom was a different story. The venom he had spewed about the way she treated his father was telling. No wonder Ramon had such a low opinion of women in general.
“Do you think it’ll be hard to put together another album?”
“Nah. Hanging out on the road with Perry has been eye opening. I think this time around we’ll follow our instincts and not second guess everything so much. Morris might not favor our methods, but in the end I’m confident we’ll put out a better product.”
“So Linc and Ash are ready to collaborate together again?”
“I hope so, considering that they don’t talk to each other much beyond the basics.”
“They’ve come a long way. Maybe it’s just gonna take some more time.”
“Maybe, but only if Linc can finally get over Simone. Right now I’m pretty sure every time he looks at Ash all he sees is the guy who came between him and the girl he really wanted.”
“That’s a pretty tall order. Simone’s one of a kind.”
“Yeah, I guess somehow you just have to move on,” he said somberly as if he empathized deeply with the cousin’s conundrum.
“Well, I better let you go. If Dominic…”
“Hold on, Karen. Patch just walked in.” Ramon must have covered the receiver on the hotel room phone. He had been much kinder to me lately. I think he appreciated that I loved his friend and was starting to realize that I wasn’t going to screw him over. Sure, he flirted. Sure he teased. But things felt different between us now. Our roles seemed…
Specified.
Settled.
Safer.
Chapter Sixteen
* * *
Ramon - May 2001
“Stop pacing, asshole,” I told Patch. “You’re driving me nuts. You know she’s with her parents celebrating her dad selling the grocery store to the Lavon’s chain. She should be here any minute.”
“What if she’s changed her mind about us?” Patch tore his hands through his hair. He had no problem being on stage in front of thousands yet the thought of seeing Karen again after so many months on the road had him wound tighter than an E string. “Her parents aren’t that thrilled about us.”
“Why should that matter?”
“It matters to her.”
“Sure, but only to a point. She’s way into you. Has she given you any reason to think she’s changed her mind?” My gut tensed. I searched his features looking for uncertainty wondering if he had been holding something back.
“No.” He stared up the street again willing her to appear. “She’s just unhappy. At school. On the wrong coast. Trying so hard to please her parents…it’s suffocating her.” He turned his head toward me. “I hear it in her voice though she won’t say as much.”
“Another reason why you’re doing the right thing at the right time.”
“Yeah, but maybe I should wait. Feel her out first. Give it a couple of weeks until I’m more sure of her response.”
“Do what you want to do,” I said. “But if it were me…” If there were another girl like her, breathtaking, sassy, smart, loyal—the opposite of my puta mother and Gonzolo’s wife—“I would tie her to me fast, however I could.” Too many things could go wrong when you waited. Like it had with Linc and Simone.
“She’s here,” he announced in a reverential tone.
I lifted my gaze. She had emerged from behind the cliffs. She must have taken the shortcut down the stairs at Narragansett and picked her way over the slabs of uneven sandstone. Sandals in her hand, wearing a flowing white sundress like the one she had worn that night on the roof, she was unforgettable. Her blonde hair blew loose around her face as if it were as animated as she obviously was. Her high wattage smile could have lit the entire San Diego power grid. She shielded her gaze with her hand against the glare of the sun. For a moment I allowed myself the belief that she was scanning the beach for me. Sometimes, I pretended she was mine when I talked to her on the phone when Patch was busy. But I knew all along it was only a fantasy. It was Patch she loved. Patch her eyes fastened on. There wasn’t room in her heart for another, nor should there have been.
The joy in her expression crushed my little dream to dust. She ran to Patch, and he jogged up the beach toward her. Colliding on the stairs, he picked her up and swung her around in a circle. The sound of her joyous laughter carried
to where I stood. Patch lifted her high above his shoulders and she gazed down at him oblivious to everything and everyone else. As he slowly loosened his hold letting his angel slide to earth, she reached for his face and framed it in her hands.
I turned away the moment their mouths came together. Shoulders hunched to my ears, I headed the other direction alone. I knew she would say yes when he went down on one knee, offering her the ring he had picked up in a Vegas pawn shop when the tour had stopped there. I also knew I would stand by his side at the ceremony when they made it official.
For the moment, I had a vague plan about getting drunk off of my ass and picking up the first chick that took notice of me at the Deck Bar. Maybe I could find a passable one with blonde hair and sun kissed skin.
The idea did not enthuse me.
• • •
Karen - August 2001
“They’ll show up, honey,” Simone said as I peered out the camper wagon window again.
“I don’t think so.” My throat was so tight I could barely swallow. I had been holding my tears at bay for the past hour while she had arranged my hair.
“Don’t cry.” Simone turned me around. “You’ll mess up your makeup.”
“I’m not wearing any. Dominic prefers me without it.”
“I know, but I got your mind off of the window for a moment.” She offered me an encouraging smile. “Now let’s have a look at you.” She squeezed my hand, leaned back and studied me. “The baby’s breath and the tiny white rosebuds are gorgeous with your hair curled and loose around your shoulders.”
“Thanks, but you’re the one who did all the work making them into a crown.”
“It was my pleasure.” Her pretty eyes glistened. “You make a beautiful bride.”
She was so sweet, so kind to help me get ready much less stay for the ceremony that would take place on the beach where so many memories of her and Linc lingered. “Tell your mom thanks for lending me the dress.”
“You already did, but I’ll tell her again if you like.”
I nodded. I loved my wedding gown though it was only a simple strapless white sundress that skimmed my knees. It wasn’t the trappings that made the day special. It was the man who stood beside the ocean waiting for me.
My parents weren’t contributing to the wedding. They weren’t even talking to me. The summer was almost over, but they were still furious about my decision not to return to Yale. They laid the blame all Dominic. But it was done. All that needed to be said had been said. I had a job now at the surf shop. I had moved in with Dominic, staying in his old bedroom at his dad’s house, saving my salary and his portion of the advance from Zenith so that when he went on tour to promote the Dirt Dog’s second album I could go with him.
We were saying our vows right on the beach. I had sent out a couple of invitations, store bought and handwritten. Everyone had accepted except Linc and my parents. The lead singer of the Dogs wasn’t ready to see Simone, and apparently my parents weren’t ready to see me, their only daughter on the biggest day of her young life.
A knock on the camper window had both of us lifting our heads, our eyes and our hearts full of anticipation for whom we hoped it might be. It wasn’t Linc or my parents. It was only Ash.
“Hey, you two. Everything is set to go. Can you hurry it up? Dom’s about to drive the rest of us nuts.”
“We’ll be right there,” Simone told him, her voice rough.
“Fair enough.” Platinum bangs so long they skimmed his sapphire eyes, Ash drummed a pattern on the metal that sounded a little like the wedding march. “It’s good to see you, Mona. You look stunning as usual.” His voice was low, his compliment heartfelt, and they exchanged a long glance that made me understand a little better why my friend had slept with him so quickly after seeing Linc with the groupies. There was definitely a strong connection between them.
Simone was blinking away emotion when she turned to face me. She pressed the bouquet she had crafted out of blush dahlias into my hand.
“You shouldn’t have done all of this.”
“I wanted to. You are my happy beautiful BFF, and it is my honor.” She tapped a finger to her lips. “You have the dress for something borrowed. The flowers for something new. But what for blue…”
“Maybe I can help,” a familiar voice offered. “My heart is certainly blue without my only daughter.”
“Daddy!” I jumped out of the seat nearly tripping on my own feet as I exited the van. “I was afraid you wouldn’t come.” I threw my arms around his neck. He hugged me so tight my breath left my lungs in a rush. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you, too, Sunshine.” He took a step back to look at me and I tried my best not to come apart when I saw the tears glistening in his eyes. “You look as pretty as your mother did when I married her.”
“Thank you.”
“She’s waiting at the beach with the others. But I wondered if I could have a moment with you while you’re still my little girl.”
“I’ll always be your little girl, Daddy,” I whispered.
“That’s sweet, but it’s not true. And I shouldn’t wish that for you. I was wrong to get so angry, to be so prideful, to try to bend you to my will by withholding my affection. I missed two whole months with you that I can never get back.” His brow creased, his expression becoming even more serious. “It’s just that since the day I first held you in my arms I wanted you to be happy. Everything I do, all the long hours working at the grocery store, being so tough on you about studying, it was always because I had that goal in mind. If I had the power to make every single one of your days blissful I would do it, but I can’t. I see now that loving you best means setting you free while making you understand that I will always be there if you should ever need me.” His voice was so deep, his words so sincere and beautiful that my lips trembled. “So there’s only one last thing I need to know. Does he make you happy?”
I bobbed my head.
“Good.” He held out his hand. “Then if you will allow me, I would like to have the honor of walking you down to him. I’ve already told him that he has my blessing.”
“Thank you, Daddy.”
“You’re welcome, Sunshine.” He touched my nose, tucked my hand into the bend of his arm and led me down the seashell path to the heart drawn in the sand by my friends. Dominic became my husband there as the sun set, draping the sky in celebratory orange and pink streamers that complimented the bouquet I clasped in my hand.
Chapter Seventeen
* * *
Ramon - September 2001
I didn’t know which godforsaken town the band was in tonight because I had gone straight from the tour bus to the motel room where I fucked the first two girls who followed me into it.
It hadn’t made me feel better.
In fact, I felt a shit ton worse when I opened the door to kick them out afterward and found a wide-eyed Karen standing right outside in the hall with a forgotten bucket of ice in her hands. She might as well have dumped it on me.
It seemed like she was everywhere all the damn time.
On the tour bus wearing one of Patch’s shirts and little else. Watching me stumble on board at dawn just before we pulled out of the venue parking lot and headed for the next stop on the tour.
At the after-party she turned pale as I rolled up a dollar bill and snorted a couple of bumps off some bitch’s tits.
And now standing to the side of the stage wearing a look of disapproval. The guitar tech handed me my SG. I didn’t want her pity. It pissed me off. It made me feel guilty, small instead of like a stud. I threw the strap over my shoulder. The rest of the guys were already in their places. I could hear Ash’s laying down the opening drum beat.
“Ramon,” she called as I attempted to duck around her. “Wait.”
“Don’t start, alright. I know I’m late. Patch might get off on your mother act, but I sure as hell don’t.”
She stepped aside, but her wounded expression stuck in my mind. My performance
sucked because of it. At least I knew what fucking city we were in. Linc must have said it about a million times.
“Thank you, Des Moines. We’re happy to be here, Des Moines. You’ve been a great audience, Des Moines.”
Bullshit. They practically booed us off the stage, though we deserved it. I wasn’t the only one who had stunk up the place.
Linc was popping so badly on some kind of amphetamines that he couldn’t stand still. He jerked all over the place completely off key even when he got the lyrics right.
Ash threw up…during the show. I would have chalked it up to his usual stage fright except that I had seen the bottle of Jack Daniels he had emptied right before the set.
Patch was the only one who was steady, like a captain at the helm of a floundering ship.
Catching the towel someone tossed my way as I exited the stage, I unclipped the guitar strap from my shoulder and handed my Gibson back to the tech. “Where’s the party?” I queried the usual suspects milling around amid the chaos backstage.
Patch answered. “Don’t you think you should get some rest instead?”
I lifted a brow as I turned to face him. He had his arm around Karen. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips shiny, her dress rumpled. Still, she looked as pretty as she had when she had danced with him at the Deck Bar after they had taken their vows. He had probably kissed her deeply and given the state of her dress, no telling what else. That thought further soured my piss poor mood. During our performances, she made a habit of sitting on the speaker that was hooked up to his bass. She got off on feeling the vibrations roll through her while watching him play, and he got off on knowing she was getting off. It was twisted, but brilliant and it made me envious as fuck. Everything they did fanned the smoldering embers of jealousy. “I see Mother’s been bending your ear,” I spat at him while glaring at her.
“What?” Patch glanced at Karen and then me. “No.” He shook his head. “This is between you and me. You were late. Again. You barely made it on stage tonight. Same thing as the last show. As your best friend and your brother in the band, I’m telling you to cool it with the booze and drugs.”
(Complete Rock Stars, Surf and Second Chances #1-5) Page 37
