“Going the back way around to avoid the weekend tourist traffic on Newport.” His black brows drawing together, he shot me a curious look that I avoided by turning away.
Out my window, Mexican fan palms lined the sidewalk and stretched a hundred feet up into the cloudless sky. The uninterrupted blue reminded me of Max’s eyes. Avoiding a discussion about the past, I got slammed by unsettled feelings in the present.
I sighed and rolled down the window. Sticking my face into the wind, I inhaled deeply, regulating my breathing. It was my birthday. Exhale. One. Two. Three. I untwisted the knot in my hands. Inhale. One. Two. Three.
It was time for me to stop being a little girl. If Max didn’t contact me today, I would get in touch with him. Somehow. I was done running around in circles inside my head about him.
“Glad to be back?” Diesel asked.
“Sure, I like Ocean Beach.”
It was a laidback surf town filled with bungalows and Mediterranean-style houses. No two were identical, and every yard seemed to utilize the space they had for growing something. Birds of paradise, green bushes with white plumeria flowers, and hot pink bougainvillea vines that trailed along white picket fences. The setting was similar to LA, but OB was a lot more casual, more relaxing.
“But I didn’t really get to see much when I was here, nothing beyond the view from the slats in the sub-pump structure or the deck of Ash’s rooftop.”
“Have you missed your sister?”
I turned my head away from the ocean that had just come into view as we reached our destination. “Definitely.”
“She misses you. You’re all she can talk about. She’s been running us all around like crazy getting ready for this party.” He swept his gaze over my face.
“She’s the best.” And I was going to have to store up as much of her affection as I could. “I miss all the friends I made while I was here.” Being so busy at work, and with Ernie out of my life and now with Max gone, I felt more isolated than ever.
“Even me?”
Diesel’s tone was teasing, but for a moment, I thought I saw a glimmer of something more, something serious, but then I heard a scream and turned to see my sister. Her hair was a red streak of color as she dashed across the parking lot of the Deck Bar, impossible to miss.
“Fanny!” I reached for the door handle as Diesel inched the Wagon toward a parking spot.
“Hold up.” He stretched his arm across the bench seat. “Wait until the vehicle is completely stopped.”
Ignoring the heat from where the skin of his arm had connected with my chest, I threw open my door and jumped out.
“Hols!” Fanny flew at me, practically knocking me over.
I stumbled backward, surprised to run into a wall—a living, breathing, tropically scented wall. How had he moved so fast?
“Careful, beautiful.” Diesel’s fingers were warm on my shoulders, steadying me as my sister’s arms went around my waist.
I threw my arms around her and embraced her just as tightly.
“What took you so long?” She eased back to look at me. “And you’re too skinny. How much weight have you lost?”
“Can I—”
“Did you stop to get her lunch?” Her lips pursed, she glared at Diesel.
I swiveled my head to glance at him.
“She wouldn’t let me run her through the drive-through.” He crossed his arms over his chest, and the breeze tossed his curls into his grin. The way his muscles flexed made me feel light-headed. “She insisted on getting here as fast as possible to see you.”
“Is that right?” Fanny frowned at me.
“Do I get to answer for myself now?” I lifted a brow.
“Oh, you!” She gathered me close again. “I missed every single sarcastic inch of you. I love you.”
My return “I love you” got muffled into her chest.
Finally, I choked out, “Can’t . . . breathe.”
“Oops.” Her hold loosening, she eased back but did it with a smile.
My eyes glistened with unshed happy tears, just like hers.
“Hollie!” an unfamiliar voice screamed. “Holliewood!”
“Shit!” Fanny said, and she and I exchanged a glance as a boy in bright yellow swim trunks grabbed his two friends. Slamming their car doors, they moved our way.
“I forgot my glasses and scarf.” I turned to get them out of the car but stopped when someone else screamed my name from the other side of the lot.
“No time.” Diesel slid his hand along the exposed skin on my lower back. “We need to get you inside. Get a move on, Fanny. I’ve got her.”
He escorted me, yet I stumbled. His touch was doing weird things to my equilibrium.
“You okay?” His dark eyes glimmered in the sun.
“Yes. No.”
A line of sensation zinged from his fingers to a certain spot between my legs that I always seemed to be extremely aware of whenever he was around. I was suddenly glad, and not glad at the same time, that I’d worn a white halter dress with a cutout in the back.
“Which is it?” he asked.
Of two minds, I stumbled to answer. “I, um . . .” Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a surge of movement.
“Do I need to carry you?”
“No!”
“Then move faster.”
“I would if you’d stop crowding me.” I got my legs moving, and my singular opinion regarding him returned.
“Not me you have to worry about. It’s that group of rabid-looking boys heading straight toward you.”
Following his gaze, I didn’t watch where I was going and tripped on a water bowl someone had left outside for dogs.
“Carrying you.”
Flashes of light from cell cameras captured him capturing me.
Lifted into Diesel’s strong arms, I twined my arms around his neck, and he cradled me carefully against his solid chest. It felt amazingly good to be there, and I marveled at his strength as he took the stairs two at a time while carrying me.
At the top of the stairs, he walked inside the bar and set me down. “That was close.”
I slid along the contours of his body. As I encountered the thick, hard, impressive length of him, my breath caught.
“Say the word, beautiful.” His eyes flashed heat that I felt everywhere as he peered down at me. “Anytime. Any place—”
“Diesel!” A beautiful brunette with boobs bigger than mine suddenly appeared. “Excuse me, honey.”
When she wedged herself between Diesel and me, that was my cue to wake up from the spell he’d put me under. I backed away, telling myself I was grateful for the interruption. It was a lie I couldn’t even sell to myself.
Maybe I was a shit actress after all.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
* * *
“Don’t you dare. Don’t even think about it.” Fanny took my hand and led me away from Diesel.
“Don’t think about what?” I asked.
“Do not get tangled up with Diesel Le.” Leading me to the shiny mahogany bar in the middle of the space, she stopped. “He’s a total manwhore, Hollie.”
“I know that.”
I followed the direction of her gaze, my mouth parting in shock as the brunette trailed her hand down his chest, directly to the part of him that had hardened and lengthened for me only a moment before.
I snapped my attention back to Fanny. “And for the record, I wasn’t—”
“Hols, you were. You were looking at him all googly-eyed. I was standing right there. I saw everything.”
Heat warmed my cheeks. “He’s not as bad as everyone thinks.”
“He is. And he’s earned every bit of his bad reputation.”
“Maybe not all bad.” But I was admittedly curious about the disreputable part.
“You’re far too quick to believe in the good in people.” She cocked her head, studying me.
“In certain circumstances, where it’s justified, yes.”
“In no circumstances tha
t involve him having his arms around you and his lips near your mouth should you believe anything he says.”
“I tripped. He carried me inside. It didn’t mean anything.”
“He just wants to get you in his bed.” Fanny narrowed her eyes. “Don’t even contemplate it. He’s guaranteed trouble you don’t need.”
A boisterous laugh suddenly split the air, and I turned toward the sound.
A blond who resembled a Norse god had his head thrown back. Ashland Keys had arrived. Ramon Martinez, the Dirt Dogs’ handsome Hispanic guitarist, and Lincoln Savage, the equally handsome lead singer, accompanied him. With Diesel, all the Dirt Dogs were in the bar, increasing the hotness factor exponentially. Wearing flip-flops, board shorts, and tank tops, they all looked SoCal relaxed.
The brunette was gone, but apparently Diesel was recapping about her to his friends. Biceps flexed, he traced the air as if outlining the curves of a voluptuous woman.
“Where’s Karen and Simone?” I asked, pretending I didn’t experience a flutter in my chest when Diesel turned my way, his gaze connecting with mine.
“They’re picking up the cake. The guys are on decorating duty. I’m delegating responsibilities because I wanted a chance to visit with you for a bit, just the two of us.”
“I’d like that.” I disengaged my eyes from the bassist, noting as I did that my sister’s guy was staring at us. His brow creased over his ocean-blue eyes. “Not sure Ash is going to be happy with me commandeering your attention.”
Fanny glanced at him, her expression going warm with affection I could practically feel. “He’ll be okay for a little while.”
“Yeah?” I lifted a brow. “But will you?”
She smiled, reminding me of my mom so much when she did, it made my chest hurt.
“I’m happy for you that you found someone so amazing like Ash.” I reached for her hand, squeezing and then releasing it. It was comforting to know she would be well taken care of when I pushed her away.
“Thank you. But back to you and Diesel, as in there will never be a you and Diesel.” She narrowed her eyes at me.
I nodded, knowing she wouldn’t let it rest until she had that confirmation from me.
“So, what’s going on with Max? Tell me everything. Here. Now. Where I can see you, look you in the eyes, and decide what I need to do, if anything, about you and him.”
She didn’t need to do anything. It was up to me. But for this moment, one more moment, I let her play the protective big-sister role for me.
“I like him a lot. I thought we were building toward something. But he left without really explaining, and he hasn’t contacted me in days. And now I wonder if I got it all wrong.”
“He hurt you.” She started to reach for me, but I took a step back.
“Don’t baby me, Fanny.” I lifted my chin, not to be tough but to keep from falling into old patterns. “I’m eighteen. I need to figure things out on my own from now on.”
“Okay, if you say so. No need to be so defensive.” But her expression didn’t say it was okay.
“Who all is invited to the party?” I asked, thinking it would be wise to refocus her. “And what’s on the agenda besides cake?”
“Friends of friends. Trusted ones who won’t make a big fuss because you’re an actress but more because you’re my sister. Laughter. Food. Music, of course.”
“Sounds wonderful. Thank you for planning it for me.”
“I would do anything for you.”
“I know you would.” Tears threatened. “That goes for me too. I hope you believe that.”
“Of course I do.” Her brows drew together. “What’s really going on with you? I haven’t seen you this volatile since your first birthday without Mom.”
I felt a lot like that right now. Adrift. Scared. Uncertain. Fanny knew me well.
I sighed.
“Hols—”
“I’m just tired,” I said quickly. “I get emotional when I’m tired.” Partially true.
I dug deep, found the role I needed to play, and committed myself to it.
• • •
Hours later, my sister and I, along with the Dirt Dogs and their girlfriends, were all seated together around a long, gleaming wood pub table shaped like a surfboard. There was a beer bucket on one end and a half-eaten cake on the other end where I sat, swirling my fork through the dollop of pink frosting on my plate.
“You not gonna eat the piece of cake that goes along with that frosting you scraped off?” Diesel asked.
“No. You can have it.” I pushed my plate across the table toward him.
“Not trying to take it from you.” His eyes narrowed. “Wondering why you’re not eating it.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“How can that be? You’ve hardly eaten anything all day.”
I shrugged, while the others—all couples—at the other end of the table broke into another round of inclusive-sounding laughter.
“Feeling like a third wheel with everyone paired off, huh?” He leaned an elbow on the table and tilted his head at our friends.
“Yeah.” I nodded.
“Wanna go outside? There’s a private deck facing the water. We could get some fresh air.”
I glanced at the others again. Fanny leaned back into Ash, who had his capable arms around her. Ditto with Simone and Linc. The pretty brunette and the blond lead singer were a beautiful couple, obviously as in love as my sister and Ash were. The blond, blue-eyed cousins who looked more like brothers were content with their women.
On the other side of the table, Ramon had his arm slung across Karen’s shoulders. The guitarist was playing with the end of her French braid. The woman he called his surf girl looked pretty tired. Her light brown eyes kept drifting closed. She was pregnant and feeling more tired than I think she wanted to admit.
“Maybe I could go outside for just a bit.” I pushed back my chair from the bar-height table.
“Hold up, birthday girl.” Ash’s commanding voice startled me.
“Where you headed?” Fanny frowned as she glanced back and forth between Diesel and me.
“Just outside to get some fresh air.”
“I’ll take you later,” Ash said, exchanging a glance with my sister. They obviously shared similar concerns about Diesel. “Right now, we’re gonna play some tunes so you girls can dance.” Ash gave his bassist a disapproving look.
“It’s our gift to you,” Ramon said with a nod that bounced his head of black curls. They were almost as long as Diesel’s.
Linc’s blue eyes sparkled as he flashed me his easy smile. “Yeah, what else can we give a famous Hollywood actress who has everything?”
I don’t have everything, I thought as the guys moved off as a group toward the elevated stage. I didn’t have the close bond they shared with their women.
And what I did have—Fanny—I had to let go of after tonight.
Chapter Thirty
* * *
“You mean to tell me that you’ve never seen the Dirt Dogs perform?” Karen asked, no longer looking sleepy.
“Never seen any rock band perform live, besides my sister.”
“Surely that can’t be right.” Karen glanced at Fanny. “I thought rock ’n’ roll was a big part of your life growing up.”
“A big part of my life. Hollie’s interests are different from mine. In music, a lot different.”
“I like show tunes.” I raised my chin. “And the two best musicians of all time.”
“If you say so.” Fanny gave me a placating look and patted my shoulder.
“I really don’t get how the music you like is any different from mine,” I said absently while watching the guys set up.
Ash sat on a stool behind his drums at the back of the stage. He winked at me as he adjusted a bracket on his snare. Linc yanked the pole on his center mic to bring it level with his mouth as he stood in front of his cousin. Ramon was front and to the right, stomping on an effect board at his feet. Diesel hunched down on
the left side of the stage, taping what appeared to be a set list to the floor.
They were just a bunch of musicians with instruments on a stage. Yet I sensed an excitement in the air that made my heart beat faster.
“Rock music is guys with guitars,” Karen said with her hand on her chest and her eyes on Ramon.
“Guys with guitars and attitude.” Simone sighed as Linc stared at her.
“Guys with attitude on drums,” my sister added.
Simone nodded. “Whatever they play—”
“When the music starts and the spotlight hits them,” Karen said, “they all become super sexy.”
“You’re in for a treat.” Simone bounced on the tips of her toes. “But I can’t see over the crowd. Let’s get closer.”
In a single line, we followed the woman with sun-kissed skin and hair the color of brown sugar to a pocket of space just to the right of the stage.
“This is a good spot.” Karen gazed up at Ramon adoringly.
I risked a quick glance to the opposite end of the stage where Diesel stood. After removing his hair tie, he shook out his curls and strapped his bass on. The brown-and-white body of his instrument rested low across his narrow hips. I flushed, thinking about how hot and hard what lay between those hips had felt against me, and wondered if he was still that hot and hard.
As if he sensed my thoughts, Diesel turned and looked at me. His lips curved up slowly.
Being on the receiving end of that smile with his eyes on mine gave me an electrical jolt. Plus, there was an anticipatory hum in the air that he and all the Dogs seemed to somehow personify. As the crowd quieted, all eyes focused on the stage, I felt more than just my skin getting hot.
Maybe there was something to this rock music.
Behind his drum kit, Ash suddenly raised his sticks into the air and clacked them together over his head. “One. Two. Three.”
Ramon swung his arm into a loud power chord that vibrated the floorboards beneath my flip-flops. The fine hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as if I’d been electrified.
(Complete Rock Stars, Surf and Second Chances #1-5) Page 103
