“I missed you too. So much.”
“What were you doing out here, alone with Diesel?” His brow dipped.
“Not with him. I was upset. I came outside. He followed me.”
“Did he hurt you?” The crease between Max’s eyes deepened.
“Not him. Fanny. Well, not really her, but . . .” I sighed and lifted my hands to his, peeling them away from my skin. “Can we not do this here? I’d rather talk to you alone. In private.”
After a moment, he nodded, shifting me under his arm, and we went through the doorway together.
Fanny was right inside. Ash stood behind her, both his hands on her shoulders. She lifted a hand to touch his, then left him to come straight to me.
Her eyes swollen and cheeks blotchy, she choked out, “I’m sorry.”
I made my sister cry. My heart twisted at the thought.
An automatic apology was on my tongue, but I bit down on it.
Hard.
“You don’t think.” Tears filling my eyes from self-inflicted pain, I lashed out at her, channeling my fear for her into this performance. There was no telling what Samuel might do to her if I failed to push her away from me.
Max frowned at me. “Hollie.”
“No, Max.” Without taking my eyes off my sister, I shook my head. “You weren’t here. You don’t know what happened. Stay out of it.” My body a tight ball of tension, I curled my fingers into fists, the enemy not Fanny, but the weakness I had for her. “You do things without my permission, then you tell me what to do. I’ve had enough of you bossing me around.”
“I don’t understand why you’re acting like this.” Fanny’s hands fluttered uselessly in front of her, something she did when she was upset. “It’s not like you.”
“You’re used to ordering me around like a parent.” I hardened my heart to her distress. “Well, you’re not, and I’m tired of it. Tired of you smothering me. I need you to back off and give me some space.”
“How much space?” Her red-rimmed eyes filled. “I barely see you anymore as it is.”
“Don’t call me.” My stomach cramped with nausea. “Don’t come see me. If . . . if Samuel calls you again, tell him you don’t know what’s going on with me. Don’t presume to speak on my behalf anymore. Refer him to my attorney.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
* * *
“So, do you want to explain exactly what just happened in there?” Max asked as we stepped outside.
I did not. I wasn’t ready to process it. Hurting Fanny, no matter how noble the reason, made my soul feel like it had slashed by a thousand cuts that would likely never heal.
Narrowing my eyes, I snapped at him when all I really wanted was him to hold me close. “Do you want to tell me where you’ve been for the past several days, and why you didn’t return my calls?”
His hand on my lower back curled into a ball. “Hollie, I can ex—”
“Holliewood!” someone shouted.
“Hollie!”
“Hey, Hollie, look here!”
We were inundated by a wave of photographers as soon as we stepped onto the sidewalk outside the Deck Bar.
“There wasn’t anyone here earlier,” he muttered.
“They were here. You just didn’t notice them because they weren’t interested in you.”
“Do you want to stop and take pictures?”
“No. Please, no.” I ducked my face into Max’s side, breathing in his clean, soapy, masculine scent, and wrapped my arms around him as shutters clicked and light flashed all around us.
“My truck’s nearby.” His arm slung over my shoulder, he steered us through the throng.
We stepped off a curb together and then scooted sideways between a huge blue Ford pickup truck with oversized wheels and a sedan. After opening the door to the behemoth truck, he grabbed me by the waist and lifted me into it.
“Is this yours?” I asked, staring down at him from the passenger seat.
“Yes. I dropped by to get it after my plane landed. I’m going around. Lock it after I shut it.” He closed the door before I could manage a nod.
The photographers left him alone, swarming to my side and taking photos of me through the glass. The flashes continued going off, even though I shielded my face with my hand and dropped my chin.
“I’d forgotten how crazy it is,” he said as he swung into the driver’s side.
Was he already regretting coming back? Was he back? Or had he returned only to celebrate my birthday?
Gnawing my lip, I speculated as he slammed his door, cranked the key, and gunned the engine. The photographers moved out of the way as he slowly inched out of the parking spot.
“I’m sorry about all of that,” I said, hooking a thumb over my shoulder.
“It’s not your fault.” He gave me a quick side glance. “I’m sorry they found you and intruded on your birthday.” Frowning, he returned his attention to driving, flicking on his blinker and turning left at the light.
“They have no boundaries. It is what it is.” I twisted my hands together. “Is all that why you left?”
“No.”
“Oh, I thought because of the photos of us in New York and then Cedric right after, that you were mad.”
“I was mad. It’s frustrating. But it’s not why I left.”
“Why did you?” I swallowed as Max stopped the truck at a red light and turned toward me. He looked so sad, I stiffened. “You’re not staying, are you?”
“Can we talk about it when I get you home?” he asked as he accelerated for the green light.
“I’d rather know now.”
“I called Security You Can Trust and resigned. I can’t be objective with you, Hollie. You need to get someone else to protect you.” He didn’t glance at me as he pulled into the far left lane and took the entry ramp onto the freeway.
“I don’t want anyone else,” I whispered.
He let out an exasperated breath.
“I won’t be comfortable around someone else. I can’t deal with someone else.” I clenched my fingers into fists. I had so little control of anything in my life. I was going to have control of this.
“You need protection.” He hit me with a firm look.
“I’ve done fine these past few days.” I turned away, stubbornly lifting my chin while the hope I’d felt at seeing him again died inside me.
“Fine isn’t a word I’d use to describe the last several days. It’s been hell being apart from you. If only . . .”
A text alert dinged from his phone where it lay on the center console between us. He reached for it, flipped it over without looking at the message, flicked off the sound, and returned it to its original position, display side down, before continuing.
“I’ve been worried sick about something bad happening to you.”
“So stay.”
“I can’t. I wish I could. But I can’t.”
“Why can’t you? I can pay you more than anyone else.” Yet even as I made the statement, heat hit my cheeks. Did I want him to stay for the money? No. But he was going to leave, and I would be alone. I felt desperate.
“It’s not about the money. Not anymore. It’s about you and me, and doing what’s best.”
“I’m eighteen now.”
“I know. Believe me, I know.”
“I’m a legal adult.”
“You are.”
“I want you in my life, Max,” I said firmly, and he glanced at me again, his expression softer. “Tell me how I can make that happen, and I’ll do it.”
“Hollie, don’t—”
“Don’t try to salvage us? The beginning of something that feels so good when you’re beside me, but so wrong when you’re gone?”
“You don’t know—”
“Don’t tell me I’m too young. Don’t quote bodyguard protocol. Don’t give me reasons why we can’t be together. Tell me you want to be with me, and we’ll work through the rest.”
“You’re so beautiful.” Max gave me a fierce
look, his blue eyes glittering like the sun on the ocean. “So brave. So determined.” He reached across the center console and our hands met in the middle. A flicker of hope came to life inside me as he laced our fingers together.
“So, you want to be with me?” I needed the words. I’d been in my head so much while he’d been gone that I needed audible confirmation to sweep away the cobwebs of doubt.
“Yes. Absolutely yes.” He nodded, his golden hair falling forward into his eyes. “I’ve wanted that from the moment I first met you. Every day with you. Every conversation. Every glimpse you give me into that sensitive heart of yours makes me more certain that there’s no one more perfect for me, no one I want more.”
“I’ve been hoping you would see me as a woman you could be interested in.”
“Interested is too mild a description of the feelings I have for you. I’ve been fighting a battle I can’t win not to fall for you since you tumbled from that riser into my arms.”
“Oh, Max—”
“There are problems. Serious obstacles.” He released my hand, returned his to the steering wheel, and gripped the leather so tightly it creaked. “I need to make some phone calls when we get back. Then I need to tell you some stuff you don’t know about me. Just because we both want to be together doesn’t make it a sure thing.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
* * *
My phone rang as soon as we entered the condo. “It’s Olivia,” I told Max before putting my cell to my ear.
“Interesting photos of you and Diesel Le on the internet.”
“Hello to you too.”
“When were you going to tell me you and the Dirt Dogs’ bassist had something going on?”
“There’s nothing going on.”
“It looks—”
“Max is back. He’s here with me now.”
“Oh. Should I call back?”
“I’ll leave you to talk to her.” Max ran the back of his hand down my cheek, appearing equal parts troubled and resigned, basically how he’d looked since we both expressed our feelings. “I’ll go make my calls.”
“This will only take a minute.” I covered the receiver with my hand.
“Take your time.” He lifted his chin. “Is there a spare room down the hall I could use to give you some privacy?”
“There’s a guest bedroom at the end with a computer.”
“Perfect.” He moved away, and I got lost watching him move.
“Are you still there?” Olivia asked.
“Yes, I’m sorry.” My brow creased as Max entered the bedroom and clicked the lock after he closed the door. Was it my privacy he was protecting, or his own?
“So, Diesel.”
I wanted to say no comment, but that wasn’t why I paid her to be my agent.
“He irritates me and confuses me at the same time.” I dropped my purse on the entryway table, moved to the sectional, and collapsed onto the cushions. “He . . . we . . . there’s some chemistry. He made a pass at me. I turned him down. Max showed up. Now that he’s back, we’re going to try to work things out between us.”
“An eventful eighteenth birthday. Happy birthday, by the way.”
“Thank you.”
“You need to get a good night’s sleep tonight.”
“I hope to.” I was exhausted. I hadn’t slept well since Max left.
“I’ll come over in the morning. Go over your schedule while you get ready.”
“All right.” Silencing a yawn, I put my phone on speaker and set it on the coffee table. When I typed Diesel’s name in the Google search engine, my jaw unhinged at the number of photos—the number of photos of him with different women, that is.
“I had arranged security. Will Maximillian be guarding you instead?”
“I’m not sure yet. Can I let you know tomorrow?”
“Yes. One last thing before I let you go.”
I tuned her out as Diesel’s Wikipedia page loaded. He’d been married before? Married young. To a high school sweetheart. And . . .
“Hollie, are you listening?”
Diesel had lost a son. His infant son.
“What?” I asked. My heart twisted for the things I’d said to Diesel, not knowing his past. “I’m sorry. I missed what you said.”
“Samuel will be at the premiere.”
“Oh no.”
“It’s unlikely you’ll have to exchange words with him, but just in case, we’ll run through some scenarios tomorrow.”
“All right.” I worried about that possibility, but I was worried about losing Max more.
“Good night, dear.”
“Good night.”
I glanced down the hall after I ended the call. I could just make out the murmur of Max’s voice. He was talking to someone. I sighed, kicked off my flip-flops, and settled back into the cushions.
Given the eventful day I’d had, I wasn’t going to be able to sleep anytime soon.
• • •
The water was rushing in. I’d wandered too close to the shore, and my feet were sinking in the wet sand. I tried to pull them out, but I was stuck.
A scream pierced the air. “Hollie! help!”
“Fanny!” I cried. The wind ripped the tears from my eyes as I turned my head to scan the turbulent surf for her.
“No!” I shouted, seeing a patch of red in the water, and watched helplessly as it disappeared beneath a crashing wave. “No!”
I tried again to free myself but couldn’t. My arms were pinned to my sides, my rain-drenched hair tangled around my body.
“Hollie,” a deep voice rumbled from the darkness of the stormy night. “Shhh, shug. It’s okay. Wake up. You’re having a bad dream.”
I cracked open my eyes to see his worried face.
“Max, oh, Max.” I started to tremble. “It was awful. Fanny was drowning. I could see her in the ocean, going under the waves. She called for me, but I was stuck in the sand and couldn’t get to her.”
“A nightmare. Probably because of the argument you had with your sister earlier. It wasn’t real.” His usual tranquil eyes were as stormy as the sea had been in my dream.
“It felt real.”
“I know it did. I can tell you’re shaking.” He ran a comforting hand up and down my back. “I’m sorry you waited so long. Trying to sleep on the couch probably didn’t help things much.”
Max wrapped his arms around me, and I realized that it hadn’t been my hair but his embrace that I’d incorporated into my dream.
“Let’s get you to bed.”
Heat licked my body as he lifted me from the couch. The idea of him and me in my bed with my age no longer a deterrent made my imagination go haywire.
Something of what I thought must have showed in my face, or maybe it was the way my arms were draped around his neck as he carried me. Almost of their own accord, my fingers skimmed over his warm, smooth skin and upward into the satin of his hair.
“Hollie, don’t.”
At the bed, he removed my hands and set me down. I slid down his body, unable to stop the inevitable comparison. The lean, latent strength of Diesel’s body seemed inexplicably more intimidating than the bulging contours of the former soldier.
“Why not?” I searched Max’s eyes even as I registered on a cellular level the length and heat of his erection against me.
“Because of the issues unresolved between us. Because you’re upset about your sister.”
“I am upset, but she’ll be okay.” She was as safe as my being out of her life could make her.
I slipped my hands free of his loosening grip. Dipping my gaze, I placed my palms on his abdomen. He’d taken his shirt off while he was in the back room. His muscles tightened as I skimmed my fingers up and over the ridges of his abs, not stopping until I reached his chest.
I lifted my gaze. “Do you want me to beg for you to have sex with me?”
“Hell, no.” Max captured my hands, separating and lifting them to place them on his jaw.
“Then w
hat is it?” I pressed my palms deeper into his stubble-roughened skin while staring deeply into his eyes.
“I want to be worthy of that look in your eyes, but I’m not.”
My eyes narrowed. “Shouldn’t I be the one to make that determination?”
“Yes, of course.” His voice was low and husky. It scraped more awareness along nerve endings already registering the tantalizing differences between his body and mine.
“You haven’t even kissed me. Don’t you want to kiss me?” I blinked back the sting of tears.
“I want to. But I know if I do that, I won’t be able to stop.” His fingers flexed over mine. He was going to remove them.
“I don’t want you to stop.” I slid my hands over his ears into his hair.
“You don’t know who I am. It wouldn’t be right.”
“I know you’re strong, yet gentle with me.” I arched my body into his, reveling in the way his cock hardened against me. “You think you should stay away from me, but yet here you are. Why stop when this is something we both want?”
My hands at his nape, he groaned and yielded as I tugged his face down to mine.
Our first kiss was a gentle meeting of our mouths, a soft brush of his firm lips to mine. At first. But it quickly transformed into something else.
“Open, baby.”
He breathed against my mouth, his large hands skimming my cheeks, his fingers tangling urgently in my hair, tugging on the strands to pull my head back and coax my lips to part. His wet tongue pierced the seam I gave him.
I shivered as his tongue rubbed against mine. Once. Twice. I felt it between my legs, each stroke. The third time his tongue twined with mine, my knees buckled.
Bending me backward over his arm, he broke the kiss only to rain hot kisses along my cheek, then the side of my neck.
“Max, yes.” I exhaled shakily, turning my head to give him better access.
“You taste like strawberry taffy, shug.” He traced the tendon along my neck. A slow, warm glide of his tongue that made more than just my skin wet.
“That feels so good.” I moaned. “Please.”
My hands on his shoulders, I dug my fingers into his tense muscles, and his heated eyes met mine. I didn’t know what to ask for, only that I wanted more. More of him and everything he had to give.
(Complete Rock Stars, Surf and Second Chances #1-5) Page 105
