I licked my dry lips, and his gaze dipped to my mouth. My stomach flipped from his heated regard, but I powered through it to focus on setting him free.
“Hotel to work and back until filming is complete.”
I nodded my agreement but dropped my gaze, unable to look him straight in the eyes. He’d see my fear. My desperation for him to stay.
“Hollie, I’m worried about you.”
“Don’t worry. Do what you need to do. I’ll be fine by myself until filming wraps up.”
I didn’t want him feeling sorry for me—I wanted him to love me. To continue loving me. Even though I was falling apart. I needed to know I had him, even if it had to be long distance.
Without Max in my life, I was afraid the foundation of my entire world would crumble.
Chapter Fifty-One
* * *
“I’m fine.” I twisted the belt of my dressing robe, pretending I was okay long distance, just like I’d pretended I was okay when Max was right beside me.
“Anything interesting happen since I left?” he asked.
I heard the ocean in the background. Today was his swimming day. Longing for him, for the beach, for Fanny, Ernie, all I’d given up, it all hit me, and my knees went weak from the pain of the loneliness.
In the director’s office, I sank onto the folding chair. I’d sneaked away for privacy. On the other side of the door, the crew was rearranging the set for a music trailer. The clanging and banging grated my already raw nerves.
“Same old, same old here.” In other words, more nightmares and continued running from my past. But without Max, everything was far worse than I could have imagined. “Did you decide to take the job with Lori Morgan?”
“Yes. She doubled her offer.”
My heart sank. Lori was a beautiful up-and-coming actress with a tragic past. By all accounts, she was a really nice person. Without an evil stepfather. Without all my hang-ups.
“Oh, that’s great.” Dullness in my tone belied my words. Now I understood how he’d felt about me working closely with my male costars.
“It is great. When you get done with filming, we can pick up and resume where we left off, only with me working for someone else. It’ll be an adjustment, but it’ll be okay. Right?” He sounded as though he needed as much reassurance as I did.
“Yes.” I gnawed my lip. “If we keep on schedule here in Chicago, I’ll have a little extra time to come out to LA to see you before I go to Switzerland for Cedric’s project.”
“I’d like that. The condo’s too empty without you in it.”
Tears pricked my eyes. “Same here. I mean, the bed’s too big without you.”
Max cleared his throat. “So, nothing notable with filming?”
“No. Just that a band’s coming in today to shoot a music video for the trailer.”
“Finally.”
“What?” That didn’t make any sense.
“I meant, is there any finalizing of things with the lawyers and the case against Samuel?”
“Yes. They want me to come in again. Give more details.” I crushed the belt in my hand.
“Why do they need you to do that?”
“Do you remember me mentioning Maria Castel, our housekeeper?”
“Yes. Did they find her?” He sounded incredibly alert.
“Yes, they did. She’s in Venezuela. She went to stay with a friend of her family. She’s scared of Samuel, and she should be, of course. Hart’s team is working on getting her back to LA. They’re promising to put her in a secret safe location until the trial is over.”
“Good plan.”
A knock rattled the glass pane on the door. “‘Miss Wood?” I recognized the voice of one of the interns.
“Yeah?” I said, covering up the receiver.
“There’s a woman with the band asking for you. She says she’s your sister.”
I dropped the phone.
“Hollie?”
I heard Max’s voice at my feet. My hands shaking, I scooped up the phone and returned it to my ear.
“I’ve gotta go. Fanny’s here.” I ended the call and yanked open the door.
“Don’t be mad.” My sister’s big silver eyes filled as she took me in.
“I’m not mad.” I was in shock. “How—”
“Max mostly. He called Olivia. She called Ash. Ash made the director an offer he couldn’t refuse.”
“The Dirt Dogs are doing the video for free.”
“Yeah, good guess.”
“Anything else I should know?”
“Um . . .” Her lips flattened and her auburn brows rose.
“What, Fanny?” I hugged my arms around myself to keep from throwing them around her.
I shouldn’t have bothered. She launched herself at me and threw hers around me. I started to shake in her embrace. I was going to lose it. Totally lose it.
“Fanny.” I choked up, trying and failing not to cry.
“I missed you so much,” she said, squeezing me so tight I could barely breathe.
Through my sobs, and hers, I heard a familiar voice.
“Hey, darling.”
My best friend stepped up behind Fanny. His compelling brown eyes met my tear-filled gray ones.
“Ernie!”
“Otherwise known as the best music-video stylist in the business. Yes, that’s me.”
He moved behind me, and I became the peanut butter in a sister-and-best-friend sandwich.
“How?” I gasped between short sobbing breaths, and I certainly wasn’t the only one. “How can you be here? I pushed you both away. I was afraid Samuel would hurt you, but I was horrible. How can you forgive me?”
“Oh my!” Ernie said. “That explains a lot.”
“Maximillian called us, Hols.” Fanny pulled back to look at me, her face as wet as mine. “All he said was that you were hurting, and he thought you needed us. So here we are.”
Chapter Fifty-Two
* * *
The studio abuzz with excitement, I sat on a folding chair with one of my hands in Fanny’s and the other in Ernie’s, my heart lighter than it had been in months.
“We can go one of two ways with the video.” Perry, the director, peered over his glasses at me first before turning his gaze to the band. They were ready to play. Linc at center, Ramon on his right with a guitar, Diesel on his left with his bass, and Ash behind them with his drums. “We can do the song for real all the way through and splice in a montage of scenes from the movie, or we can have you do the song with Hollie in character, interacting with the band.”
“Interacting,” Ash said.
“I’ll do whatever.” I tugged my hands free and stood. “I’m just grateful to you guys for doing this. And I want to apologize for the way things went down at my party. I thought I was doing the right thing cutting you guys out, and maybe I was. But I went about it the wrong way, and I let too much time pass without saying that afterward. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Ramon said.
“Forgiven.” Linc threw a palm up and swished it back and forth as if he were erasing marks on a chalkboard. “You’re part of the family. We’ve all made mistakes.”
“We’ll continue to make mistakes,” Ash said.
“For sure, some more than others.” Ramon gave Diesel a look.
“Speak for yourself, asshole.” The bassist smirked, and I tried to ignore how the curl of his lips and the crescents that formed on either side of his mouth continued to intrigue me. “Let’s stop the bullshit and play some fucking music. I’ve got shit to do after this.”
“So, how do you want us?” Linc asked Perry, gesturing to the men who flanked him. “This okay?”
“Be yourselves.”
“Rowdy and proud. Can do.” Ramon flashed a big smile.
“Sexy as hell. I’ve got that covered.” Diesel released his hair from his elastic ponytail holder, and my stomach fluttered as his waves of his glossy black curls settled around his wide shoulders. Catching me staring, his dar
k brown eyes sparkled, and the crescents around his mouth deepened.
“Best of the bunch.” Linc shifted to smile at his cousin.
“Co-best.” Ash returned the smile, threw his muscular arms in the air, and clacked his sticks. “Let’s do this.”
As Ash counted, Linc turned to face forward, and the band launched into a song I recognized because Fanny had played it so often over the years.
I unbelted my robe and shrugged the cool silk off my shoulders. The cameras were already running. I preened for them in the seductive lingerie I wore from the movie.
But though I posed for the cameras and swayed my hips in time to the Dirt Dogs’ beat, there was more than a little part of me that did those things as seductively as possible because I knew Diesel was watching me.
• • •
“We gotta head back on the road.” Fanny tilted her head toward the tour bus idling a few feet away in the parking lot.
“I know.” I shuffled my feet. I had on Uggs and a long coat over the lingerie, but even so, I was cold.
“I can stay longer if you need me.” She searched my eyes.
I held her gaze, forcing mine to be steady. “I’ve got this.”
“Max is worried. He said you’re having really bad nightmares.”
“I’m under a lot of stress. I’ll meditate on it and release it, then I’m going to give him an earful for scaring you.”
“He loves you, Hols.”
“I know he does. Not sure exactly why.” I gnawed on my lip.
“Because you two work together. Because he knows a good thing when he sees it. Because you’re you. Sweet. Self-sacrificing. And far too easy on others and too hard on yourself.”
“She’s right.”
The studio door slamming behind him, Ernie joined us.
“No more shutting us out. You have a cell phone. Use it.” Frowning at me, he shuffled his feet in his beige chukkas. “Damn, this Chicago wind is cold. I love you, Hollie-girl. But you need to get your sexy ass back to LA pronto.”
“I will. I miss you.” I hugged him, and he hugged me.
“See you soon, bestie.” Ernie waved his hand in the air.
My brow creased as I watched him jog toward the bus.
“I don’t deserve his friendship,” I said, turning back to Fanny. “I don’t deserve Max either. He’s going to get tired of my crap. I’m going to lose him.”
“Maybe. But the happiness he brings you is worth taking that risk, don’t you think?”
I nodded. “How’d you get so wise?”
“I played it too safe. Lost years I could’ve already been with Ash. Learned from my mistakes. Learned from Mom’s too,” she said, her expression turning reflective. “Don’t let love slip away and settle for something less because you’re scared.”
“Do you think that’s what Mom did?”
Fanny shook her head. “I’m not sure. I’m starting to remember little bits and pieces, or at least what I think are memories. The strongest one is of a man and me walking to the end of dock and sitting on the end of it together. He seems sad, like he’s telling me good-bye. Maybe he regretted letting Mom go. We’ll probably never get the answers we’d like about what happened back then. But mainly, I know how bad life can be when you choose wrong. Promise me you won’t do that.”
Chapter Fifty-Three
* * *
Later that evening, I paced the floor of my hotel suite. Pick up. Pick up.
“You’ve reached the voice mail of Maximillian Cash.” The sound of his recorded voice made my heart melt. “Leave a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”
I opened my mouth to speak, then shut it. What he had done for me today and how I felt about it was too big for a recorded message. I would try to call him again later.
I shrugged out of my coat, dropped it on the couch in the living area, and headed to the bathroom. Placing my cell on the counter in close reach in case he called back, I peeled off my clothes and got in the shower.
I was wrapped in a hotel robe, moisturizing my face, when my cell finally rang. I scooped it up without looking at the display. “Hello?”
“I can’t get the image of you in that outfit out of my mind.”
“Diesel?”
“Tits ready to pluck and suck on. Legs. Fuck, I want those legs of yours wrapped around me while I pound my cock into you.”
Definitely Diesel.
“Why are you calling me?”
“Didn’t I just tell you what and why? Maybe I wasn’t explicit enough. I want to nail your slippery wet pussy with my rock-hard cock. I want to pin you against the wall the first time I fuck you. Then I’ll take you fast with you on your hands and knees on the floor. Then I want to spread you open on the bed—”
“I get the picture.” My nipples were tight, my clit throbbing. I let out a shaky sigh. It had been too long since I’d been with Max. “Go call one of your groupies. I’m sure they’re lined up out in the hall, waiting their turn to have a go with you.”
“They were. Had a few. Threw them out. Still hard as fuck thinking about you.”
I could practically feel his frustration. It vibrated in Diesel’s deep voice, penetrated my ear, and pricked my skin with sensual awareness.
“You touched me.” His growl stroked more heat into me. “I can still feel your nails raking my chest. You started a fire with that move, Pelehonuamea, and you need to come put it out.”
“I was in character. The woman I portray is sexually aggressive.” My character was younger than her love interest in the film, but experienced. In their intimate moments, she knew what she wanted and went for it. It felt empowering to be her, and maybe I’d taken things a little further than I should have during the video. “I was only playing a part. Like all the women you take to your bed do.”
“They don’t pretend anything. They scream. They come apart. They beg for more.”
“They just want bragging rights to say they did it with a rock star. But that rock star is an image, a part you play the same as me today. That’s what I mean.”
“You don’t know shit about it.”
“I’m an actress. I get those kinds of offers. Your kind of offers often. I know enough.”
“I’m not offering jack anymore.”
“Good,” I huffed out.
“Fine,” he said abruptly and hung up.
“What? No good-bye, Diesel? I’m hurt.” I rolled my eyes at my reflection.
My phone rang again, and I accepted the call without looking.
“That didn’t last long,” I said haughtily.
“What didn’t last long?”
“Max.”
“Who were you expecting?”
“I wasn’t expecting to see my sister, Ernie, and the Dirt Dogs this afternoon, that’s for sure.”
“You’re not mad?”
“I should be, but I’m not. You . . .” My throat closed up, and I swallowed to clear it. “It was a good thing you did. Thank you.”
“I would do anything for you, shug. I love you.”
“How are things with you and Lori?” I asked, my words rushed, my tone overly bright. The ease with which he declared his feelings was the opposite for me.
“I was with her at a screening. Crazy how fast her star is rising. But she isn’t letting it go to her head.”
“Oh, good.”
Max liked her. I could hear it in his voice, and that upset me more than it should. He’d never given me any reason to doubt him.
“Any security problems?” I asked.
“Just an abusive ex. But there’s been no sign of him in weeks.”
“She’s lucky to have you looking out for her.” I couldn’t keep the wistfulness from my tone.
“She’s paying me well. It’s a business arrangement, a strictly professional one. It’s not with her like it was—is—with you.” He cleared his throat. “So, did someone call before me?
“Diesel.”
“Him and you again?” Max so
unded as unhappy to know I’d been talking to Diesel as I was about his affection for Lori.
“There is no him and me. And there never will be, outside his fantasies.”
• • •
My resolve firm, I got off the plane in Los Angeles, remembering my promise to my sister and repeating the one I’d made to myself.
Tell him. Tell him now before you have to leave again.
Sunglasses shielding my gaze from the sun and my hair stuffed into a ball cap to disguise my identity from the paparazzi, I made my way through the press of other passengers, looking for and finding the car Olivia had ordered for me.
“Address the same, Miss Wood?” the driver asked after I got in, peeking at me in the rearview mirror.
“Yes, thank you.”
“Google maps estimates it’ll take forty-five minutes.” He sounded distracted as he steered the unmarked sedan into the line of traffic exiting the airport.
“All right.” I clicked my belt and settled into the leather seat, withdrawing my cell phone to scroll through the messages I’d missed during my flight.
OLIVIA: Call me the minute you land.
Not.
FANNY: can we talk some more? I didn’t mean to upset you
Not now.
ERNIE: I know you’ll be busy with manalicious, but save some time for a hug for me before you leave. xxoo
I would try.
HART: Call me immediately.
The last was an obligation I couldn’t avoid. My stomach felt as if it were clamped into a vice as I dialed his number.
“Miss Wood.” Hart’s authoritative voice boomed in my ear.
“Yes. I just landed and got your message. How can I help you?” I stared out the window at the palm trees and blue sky beyond, hoping he wouldn’t make me come into his office. I had such a limited amount of time in LA. I wanted that time to be all for Max.
“I have unfortunate news to share, and I wanted you to hear it straight from me.”
(Complete Rock Stars, Surf and Second Chances #1-5) Page 114
