“That’s nice of him.” Koa ran a hand through his shaggy sun-bleached hair.
“It wasn’t exactly nice the way he did it. More like an offer I’d have been unwise to refuse.”
“That sounds like him. He’s a pretty tough teacher.” His eyes bright, Koa gave her his lopsided grin.
Huh, no alcohol. He was on point today, and the point was her.
“We’d better go.” I practically growled and grabbed her by the upper arm, maybe gripping her a little too tightly. I knew where this was leading and wanted to do whatever I could to prevent it from getting there.
“I’ll go with you,” Koa said quickly. “Talk some more while you’re in the checkout lane.”
“Didn’t you come in for something?” I narrowed my gaze on him.
“Yeah. Already got it.” He tapped the pocket of his board shorts. “Spotted your Ninja outside and decided to come inside to say hey.”
Not to say hey to me, he didn’t.
“You’re acting weird. More frowny-faced than usual.” He cocked his shaggy head at me. “I thought you gave me the go-ahead. Has something changed?”
Oh, hell yeah, it had. But what?
The attraction had always been there for me with Hollie, but it had been mainly superficial. I’d told myself I could take or leave her. Plenty of other pussy out there. But I wondered if that were still true.
I hadn’t been at all interested in having anyone else last night, and I wasn’t interested in anyone else right now. That led me to wonder if there had been more with her from the beginning. I definitely wanted to fuck Hollie, but I also wanted to spend time with her, get inside that pretty head of hers, and know her thoughts.
Add in the notable and barely controllable desire to beat the ever-loving shit out of Koa for even presuming to talk to her, and I knew I wasn’t just casually fucked up when it came to Hollie. I was seriously fucked.
“He gave you the go-ahead for what?” Hollie asked, and I saw it, the wipeout about to happen for me, but I couldn’t stop it.
“To ask you out,” Koa answered.
And there it was.
“Oh.” Hollie shot me a look, her brow stamped with that tiny crease of vulnerability. Tiny, maybe, but it slammed me in the gut like falling backward over the falls of a monster twenty-foot wave. “When did he do that?”
“Last night. At the bar.”
Hollie flicked a glance my way, then turned to Koa. “He doesn’t speak for me. We’re just friends.”
When she licked her lips, Koa shifted, adjusting himself. Dirty-minded douche was imagining her sucking him off with that pink tongue and lush mouth of hers. It didn’t count against me when I imagined the same thing. But only because I wasn’t trying to make her and me into something we weren’t.
“Great. So, would you consider it?” Koa’s copper-penny eyes turned eager. “Going out with me? Coffee? Grub? Whatever you want. We could even go surfing, if you’d like.”
“Hell no!” I snapped. Thinking of her in that bikini with Koa’s hands sliding all over her the way mine had made me see red.
Both turned to stare at me.
Fuck. I’d said that out loud.
“I mean, she’s her own person. She knows her own mind. Up to her what she does, and who she does it with.”
I gave her a firm look, hoping that my little speech served to walk back the fact that she knew I’d been talking about her to Koa last night like she was an object. But she wasn’t.
That was the problem. A significant one.
She wasn’t like the others in my mind, and she likely hadn’t been from the beginning. Though I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it.
Hollie stood up to me. She challenged me. We were friends, and I respected her. She’d called me out on the distinctive difference earlier after I kissed her. I’d crossed the line.
And as she took Koa’s phone and programmed her number into it while casting glances at me from under her lowered lashes, I got the message she was sending me without words having to be spoken.
She was redrawing the line between us.
Chapter Nineteen
* * *
Hollie
“Aloha, Hollie. Please forgive Diesel. He forgets the old ways his grandfather Haku taught him.”
“Aloha, sir.” I stepped farther into the small claustrophobic room with a twin daybed along one wall, a recliner, and an efficiency kitchen. When I reached him, I leaned down on impulse and hugged with one arm the man in the wheelchair with the dark brown eyes and features similar to his son.
“She’s a sweet one.”
“She’s a firecracker,” Diesel said. “Don’t let her sweetness fool you.”
I lifted my chin. “I prefer his assessment.”
“You would,” Diesel fired back, having to have the last word.
We’d been at odds and barely spoken beyond pleasantries since leaving the grocery store. I knew why I was mad, but I had no idea what had gotten into him, beyond the fact that it revolved around Koa.
I shifted the sketch pad and pencils so I could straighten my shoulders, put my hand on my hip, and turned to glare at him. Diesel. Not his father.
“I see what you mean. Seems it’s only you that sets her off. I get hugs, you get the fire. Me, she likes.” His father grinned at me, the laugh lines around his eyes and the grooves around his mouth deepening.
I had an ally. I sorely needed one after finding out how stupid I’d been, reading more into Diesel’s kindness with me than was really there.
“I brought you a present, sir.” I held out the sketch pad with the box of pencils on top.
“Tam Le. You can call me Tam. And thank you.” He took my offering and placed it on his lap, an additional frown line marring his brow as he glanced down at it. “I haven’t drawn anything in a long while.”
“I told her that. But she insisted. I brought the pho.”
“With tripe?”
“Yeah, Dad. I know what you like.”
“Already ate what the cafeteria had. But you can put it in the fridge. Maybe I’ll have it later.”
Diesel stepped around me, and he and I exchanged narrowed glances. It seemed we were in a competition of some sort for his father’s affection.
Suddenly, I felt tired. All the muscles I’d overworked today gave way, and I swayed.
Diesel caught me. “What the hell?”
“I’m fine.” I shrugged my arm free from his grip. “Just tired from surfing. Maybe a little food-coma aftereffect.” I tried to frame a reassuring smile for Tam’s benefit. “We ate really quickly before we came over. Your son was in a hurry to see you.”
“A hurry to get me marked off his to-do list so he can go back to the beach or bar to pick up another woman.”
The broth from the pho I’d eaten sloshed unease onto the walls of my stomach as I wondered if the bar might be Diesel’s destination as soon as he got rid of me.
“I don’t think that’s the case,” I said to fill the tense silence. “He wanted me to meet you.” My bad that I’d read meaning into Diesel bringing me along that I shouldn’t have.
“He did, huh?” Tam narrowed his gaze on his son. “That’s unusual. So’s the surfing, if you surfed with him.”
“He taught me. I’ve never surfed before. I stood up on the board after only one lesson.”
“His board?”
I nodded. “I don’t have one. I’m just visiting.”
“Yes, I know. You’re Fanny’s sister.”
“I am.”
Tam slid his son an assessing glance. “Had a hard time lately. He’s talked about you quite a bit. He flew out of here last year around this time, right after he’d just gotten back, just so he wouldn’t miss your birthday party.”
“Dad, enough.” There was a warning tone to Diesel’s voice.
“Enough of you going on the way you have been. Alone. Isolated. No one but me and Manoa for company.”
“Why are you being like this?”
“W
hy are you wasting your time with an old man when life’s short and you have company from out of town?” Tam gestured to me. “A beautiful woman. Someone you invited.”
“She wanted to meet you after she saw the drawing you did for Paradise.”
“Not much to draw in here.”
“What would you like to draw if you could?” I asked, wanting to deflect him from pressuring Diesel, mainly about me.
“My son at our beach, surfing with you, happy for a change instead of just going through the motions.”
“Might wanna draw Koa with her instead,” Diesel mumbled.
“Koa?” Tam angled his head like his son did, only he had no curls. His black hair with the sprinkling of gray was so short, it clung to his head. “He’s just a young boy. Why would she want a boy when she could be with you?”
“She’s not with me.” And there was the confirmation, straight from Diesel’s mouth.
“She’s staying in your house,” his dad said. “Riding on your board. You brought her to see me. The last woman you brought to meet me was Lalana.”
“Okay, we’re done.”
Diesel grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the door, but I tugged my hand loose. There was something here. Maybe wishful thinking on my part, but it wasn’t something I wanted to leave hanging.
“Life is short,” I said, taking Tam’s words and adding to them. “Sometimes there isn’t a tomorrow.” There hadn’t been for me and my mom, or for me and Max. “Steps not taken end up becoming regrets, missed opportunities, and lost second chances. How about we change that? Would you like to come to the beach with Diesel and me tomorrow?”
“My arthritis.” Tam gestured to his wheelchair. “It’s been acting up lately.”
That probably explained his irritation with Diesel when it was obvious he loved his son, and his son loved him.
“I’m sure we could get you there.” I glanced at the grumpy man beside me for confirmation. Diesel’s eyes were a bright burnt umber and seemed to glow as he stared at me for a long moment before turning to Tam.
“Hollie’s right, Dad. Don’t be stubborn. Just because it’ll be more difficult than it was before doesn’t mean it won’t be worthwhile.”
Tam scowled. “I don’t want to be treated like an invalid.”
“Not planning to. Trying to help you. A little less heavy-handed than you were doing with me just now, but I know you mean well. So, what do you say?”
“Say yes.” I moved closer, knelt down in front of Tam, and took his hands. They were large like his son’s and warm, but wrinkled by time. “I’d like to get to know you better. I like your beach. I’d like to see what you draw.”
“She is sweet.” He glanced over me to his son as if daring him to disagree.
“She’s something, all right.” Diesel gave me a look that seemed to portend something in my future, but I wasn’t exactly sure what.
“Okay, I guess. If it’ll make Hollie happy,” Tam said.
“It does. Thank you.” I squeezed his hands encouragingly. “Maybe we can’t get you on a surfboard out in the water the way you used to, but if you’re willing to compromise, I don’t see any reason why we can’t find another way for you and your son to be together.”
Chapter Twenty
* * *
Diesel
I didn’t say anything as we exited my father’s room, but being silent and playing it casual wasn’t easy to do after the miracle Hollie had accomplished.
“You feeling okay?” I asked, placing my hand low on the curve of her back and steering her down the hall.
“I’m fine,” she said, yet I felt her stiffening in protest to my inquiry.
“You almost fainted. You were pale again too. It’s happened before.”
“I’m tired. My legs are jelly. I have a trainer back in LA, but his workouts aren’t nearly as intense as surfing.”
“I can carry you.” I lifted my brows. “Please, let me carry you.”
“I think I can make it. It’s not that long of a walk to the parking lot, but thanks for the offer.”
“Goodnight, Mr. Le.” The receptionist at the visitor desk waved.
“Night, Minerva.” I pushed and held open the glass door for Hollie, then returned my hand to the small of her back. I wanted to slide it lower to trace the contours of her sexy ass but refrained.
For the moment.
“Do you come to visit your father often?” Hollie asked as we traversed the walkway side by side.
“As often as I can while I’m here. When I need to go off island, Manoa checks in on him.”
Guiding her to the Ninja, I stopped beside it. There were so many things I wanted to say about my dad’s situation and what she’d done, and how much it meant to me that she had, but I didn’t know where to begin. It was such a huge deal in my mind.
Hollie gave me an assessing look. “You worry, and he hates that you worry. You feel guilty that you can’t take care of him in your home. He’s a strong, proud man and doesn’t want to admit that he’s getting older, that he can’t do the things he once could, and that now the son he used to take care of has to take care of him.”
“Incredible.” I slid my hand around to her hip and moved directly in front of her. I needed to see her face and wanted her to see the wonder on mine. “How the hell do you do that?” I shook my head in disbelief.
“Do what?” she asked.
“Make intuitive insights like that.” My hands on her hips, I pulled her closer while I pointed with my head toward the building, and the room we’d just left that by necessity had to be my father’s home.
“It’s not hard to connect the dots from the things you’ve told me.”
“It’s more than that. I think it’s also things that aren’t said.” I searched deep into my own thoughts like I suspected she did when it came to figuring out people. “You pay attention to everything, even our visual cues. I’m sure that kind of focus on nuances and the motivations behind those nuances enrich the depth of your character portrayals. You’re not only reciting lines when you take on a new part. You’re becoming that character, like you explained in Chicago.”
“A very intuitive insight.” Hollie smiled slowly, returning my words to me.
As I stood with her under the streetlight in the assisted-living facility’s parking lot, even with her hair mussed from the motorcycle ride, her sundress rumpled, and her sexy body sagging from all the physical exertion, that smile from her was one of the most beautiful sights I’d ever witnessed.
Hollie was understanding. Sweet without being mushy. Strong without being immovable. Beautiful without conceit. She had me fucked up, all right. She practically had me in the palm of her hand, but she didn’t seem to realize it.
I blew out a frustrated breath. “I’ve been trying for a year to get him to accept living here, to find a way for us to go on with our lives, given these new restrictions. Up until now, he’s never considered compromise.”
“Change is hard, especially change we don’t ask for. This one’s hard on both of you.” She reached up and placed her hand against my cheek. “I’m sorry.”
“It sucks.” I was tempted to lean into her caress. It took everything I had in me as my father’s proud son to remain stoic and strong. “I hate it for him. He hates being perceived as weak.”
“I think he knows you’re doing everything you can to make it better for him. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Just keep loving him.”
“Yeah.”
I turned my head, pressed my lips into her palm, and brought her hand away from my face. Not wanting to release it yet, I threaded our fingers together. Hers were tiny, delicately formed, her skin nearly as white as the caps of the waves on a choppy sea. Mine were large, and my skin was a ruddy, earthy brown. The contrasts seemed starker with our hands juxtaposed against each other.
“What you said in there about sometimes not getting second chances, it hit me hard.”
“I know.” Hollie’s expression softened more.<
br />
“It’s hit you hard too.”
As she nodded, her pretty gray eyes flooded with tears, reminding me of the ocean weathering a winter squall.
“You and I both know love isn’t a soft emotion. It has sharp, jagged teeth that sink in deep, past the mind, through the center of your heart, all the way to the essence of your being. And when something that deep gets ahold of you and then gets ripped away, you lose a part of yourself you can never get back.”
“Yes.” Two large tears welled, then spilled down her cheek.
“I’m sorry about the bodyguard.” I released her hands to sweep the sorrow from her skin with my thumbs. “Sorry I haven’t said that before or been more understanding.”
“You’ve been fine.” Her voice warbled. “Just what I needed.”
“I’ve been an ass. I’m sure you’ve called me all sorts of things in that smart mind of yours.”
She had. Her eyes gave her away, plus the fact that her lips twitched in an upward motion. It gave me a surge of satisfaction to think that I’d almost made her smile when she was so sad.
“This is not an excuse, but more of an explanation so you know why I am the way I am.” I pulled in a breath, formulated my words, and let out more than just my breath as I shared. “It’s basically been just the two of us, me and my dad, all my life. Everything I know about love and being a man, I learned from him and his example. He sees the best in me, but he also demands the best. He raised me to be honest, and being honest for him and me isn’t telling someone what they want to hear, but what they need to hear. You got the brunt of that, when maybe I should have been gentler.”
“It’s real. It’s who you are. I like that you give it to me straight. I don’t want to change you.”
But that was just it. Hollie didn’t want to change me, because she didn’t see me the way I wanted her to see me. As someone she could trust. As someone who would have her back. As someone she would take into her bed.
(Complete Rock Stars, Surf and Second Chances #1-5) Page 125
