by MJ Fields
Still Thursday-ish
Lizzie
“I’m so, so, so, so sorry,” I say as I stumble out of the back of Simon and Bridget’s vehicle, Simon chuckling as he catches me from face-planting on my driveway.
“Just glad we were behind you when the Uber pulled over,” Bridget huffs as she hangs out the passenger window. “What an asshole.”
“I kind of don’t blame him. I puked in his Prius.”
“Puked in his Prius.” Bridget laughs so hard that she snorts. Apparently it’s contagious, because so do I.
“All right, Mrs. Hogue”— Simon chuckles— “lean back in so you don’t fall out while I help Lizzie to her door.”
“I’m totally fine,” I lie.
After looking out the window and seeing the little, red convertible number parked in Ethan’s driveway, I decide a good cry in the shower is on the menu, and then maybe some Ben and Jerry’s.
You can’t possibly be hungry.
I threw up four courses, of course I’m hungry.
I decide the problem calls for something stronger than Ben and Jerry’s. Even their combined awesomeness isn’t enough for tonight, so I hit up Uber Eats and decide to shower while I wait.
After putting on undies, one of Dad’s tee-shirts, and my robe, I crash on the couch as I wait for my delivery.
Lying on the couch, my foot flat on the floor in hopes the room stops spinning, and the other— my injured one— on the back of my couch because it’s sore from trying to walk when I’m loaded, my door opens.
Startled, I sit up and see Ethan walking toward me.
“Oh, no, you don’t,” I say, pushing myself the rest of the way up.
“Ye’ve convicted and punished me already, Elizabeth Bloom. Ye will hear me out.”
Anger boils inside of me, and I can’t contain it. “I’m not sure what kind of woman, except in a fictional situation, could show the grace I did on that freaking boat and the democracy you seem to be asking for, but I’m fucking real, and this house is mine. I’ve been dicked over, and I won’t be a fucking doormat again. So walk away, Dr. Nail-Me-and-Screw-Her, because … because …” I scowl and point at him. “Because, fuck you!”
He stands in front of me, still in his clothes from earlier sans the jacket, and his tie is loosened. His hair is messy as he clenches his jaw and crosses his arms over his chest.
“The date was already made before I nailed ye. I canceled with her last night and took her with me tonight because I owed her. Do you ken why I cancelled?” Not waiting for an answer, not that I’d be giving him one anyway, he says, “Because ye threatened me.”
Threatened, pft.
“Owed her what?” As soon as the question leaves my mouth, sounding all needy and desperate, I shake my head. “Never mind. You need to leave. I have a friend coming over, and I owe him a little something, too.”
He narrows his eyes. “I suggest ye tell me ye’re full of shit, or ye’ll not be with me again.”
“What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” I lift my nose and cross my arms. “He’ll be here soon.” I point to the door.
“Ye’re making me purposely angry, Elizabeth Bl—”
“I saw her car in your driveway, your hair and clothes are disheveled, and I’m not having this discussion with you.”
“I came over here to get away from—”
“Did you fuck her?”
“Since ye, of course not. I’m a man of my fucking word!”
“Do I look stupid to you?”
“I told ye—”
“I need you to go so I can get dressed. He’ll be here soon.”
God, I hope it’s a he.
“Don’t be difficult, Elizabeth Bloom.”
When my phone pings, I dive across the couch, grab my phone, sit up, and look at the screen alerting me that James from Uber Eats will arrive in ten minutes.
“James will be here in ten minutes.”
“And where did ye meet this James?”
“Not that it’s any of your concern, but I met him the same way I did you— on the dating app.”
“How many times must I tell ye—”
Anger boils over me. “I’m asking you to leave, not tell me anything!”
“Not a safe way to meet a man,” he snaps.
“Not that I could possibly put a dent in your ginormous ego, but James and I go way back.”
He looks stunned then pissed as he turns around, shaking his head, and walks to the door. “Have it yer way, Ms. Bloom.”
Ms. Bloom. No longer Elizabeth Bloom.
Ouch.
Looking out the window beside my door, I watch for James, my pretend booty call. When he arrives, I hurry out, which hurts like hell, open his passenger door, and slide in.
“Um …?”
“Look, James, I know this is an odd request, but I’ll give you a twenty to drive me around for ten minutes.”
“I have another delivery in —”
“Perfect, I’ll ride along with you.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy.
“James, put this baby in drive, and I’ll give you an extra five.”
“You’re not crazy or something, are you?”
“Not the kind you should be afraid of.”
You sure about that?
He shrugs. “I guess it’s okay.”
“Let’s roll, James.”
Well played, Ms. Bloom.
Ethan
Standing around the corner of her house like a fucking stalker, I watch her get in the car. “Ye’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
“What’s going on?” Simon asks through the receiver as I watch the car pull away from the curb.
Jogging toward my house, I answer, “What’s going on is I should kick yer ass.”
“Again, my apologies, but I was getting a little sick of you bitching and complaining about a woman you’re obviously attracted to and too much of a pussy to —”
“Not a pussy.” I open the garage door and stalk toward my car. “A man who’s lived enough drama, a man who kens better than to toy with the idea of playing grab-ass with women like Ms. Bloom.” I throw my car in reverse and hit the gas.
His voice automatically comes through the car’s sound system. “Should I be expecting that ass kicking anytime soon?”
“The fuck are ye talking about?”
“I heard your car start.”
“That’s because she just took off with the asshole in the Prius.”
“Well, shit, maybe she does have a fuck buddy.”
“She’s in no shape to be fucking anyone tonight,” I snap as I speed to catch up to them as they take a left at the stop sign.
“Exactly why I called and asked you to check up on her,” he says. “But she’s a grown woman, and if she has a man—”
“She doesn’t have a man. She’s not had a man in over two and a half years,” I bite out, holding back from saying, until last night.
“Hmm …” He snickers.
“What the hell does hmm mean?”
“Just wondering if you ask all your patients such personal questions.”
Ignoring him purposely, I watch the car in front of me as it slows down and pulls over in front of a house. I pull to the side of the road.
“Never thought to ask one of mine how many years it’s been since they’ve been snogged.”
Ignoring his ribbing, I tell him, “They pulled over.” I watch the man get out. “He’s a little worm of a man, for fuck’s sake. My dick’s bigger than his leg.”
Simon chuckles. “Don’t get arrested, Ethan. You have a kid.”
“No shit,” I snap.
He sighs exaggeratedly. “Please tell me you aren’t parked right up beside them.”
“I’m not a goddammed fool,” I sneer then growl, “Fuck!”
“What’s going on now?” he asks.
“Opening the fucking door for her.”
“What an asshole,” Simon jokes.
“Very funn
y,” I say as I sink down in my seat because, although I’m not too close, I’m also not completely out of eye shot if she were to look back.
“What the fuck?” I whisper as I see her hand him a pizza and a fast food restaurant bag.
“They go into his place?” Simon asks as I watch the man knock on a door and hand the food to the kid who answers it. He then runs back to the car, gets in the driver’s seat, and pulls out.
I allow them to get to the next stop sign and turn right before pulling out to continue following them.
“Ethan, you there?”
Letting out a breath that I hadn’t realized I was holding, I answer, “I’m fine.”
“And Lizzie?”
I watch the car pull over again and do the same. When he gets out, I lean forward and watch him walk around the car.
“Ye have got to be shitting me.” I laugh when I see her hand him some sort of take-out container.
“What is it?” Simon asks.
“They’re delivering food.”
“What did you just say?” he asks, sounding completely confused.
I laugh when I see him hand the food to the woman who answers the door. “Sure as shit are.” I laugh harder now.
“Does she deliver food as well as waitress?” Simon asks.
“Not that she’s mentioned,” I say as I pull out and, this time get a little closer.
When I see the sticker on his back windshield that says, “Uber Eats,” I laugh out loud.
“What now?” Simon yawns.
“I think she just pulled a fast one on me.”
As the car pulls away, I think to myself, Well played, Ms. Bloom.
When the car pulls up in front of her house, she gets out with a pizza box in hand.
I smile, feeling relieved.
“Simon, let’s not bring this up to Bridget or Elizabeth.”
“I’m going to assume she’s home?”
I confirm, “She’s home.” With a pizza from James, the Uber Eats driver whom she pretended was a date to get back at me, in hand.
I watch Uber James pull away and decide to circle the block to give her time to get inside before parking my car.
“Mum’s the word, man. Enjoy your staycation with Kai. We’ll have to get together so she and Brendan can meet.” He laughs. “Just dawned on me; they’ll be attending school together.”
“And that’s funny, why?”
He chuckles.
“I have a girl; you have a boy?”
“Yep.” Simon snickers.
“Dinner should go smoothly then … until he’s about thirteen.”
Laughing, Simon says, “Goodnight, Ethan. Sorry about tonight.”
“Are you?”
“Nope,” he admits. “Not even a little.”
Before I can tell him he’s an asshole, he hangs up, still laughing.
Pulling up to my driveway, a few realizations hit. One, I don’t want to go back inside my house while Kenzie is in it, fearing I’ll have to face the shit I did when I tried to wake her up and ask her address so I could get her home and have her attack me, a-fucking-gain. Two, I’m going to have to face the music with Elizabeth Bloom much sooner than I anticipated. And honestly, I never anticipated having to face the music at all. Three, Simon’s right; I’ve been a pussy. And four, this is gonna hurt.
I decide fuck it as I back out of my driveway and pull into hers. Then I get out of my car, hit the lock on my key fob, and walk to her front door.
I don’t just bust in this time. I knock, but I knock knowing if she doesn’t answer, I will sit on her front porch until she eventually has to face me in order to get her car out of her garage that mine is strategically blocking in.
She doesn’t answer, so I knock again.
When she opens the door just a crack, she looks down and frowns. “What do you want?”
“Had a craving for pizza, but James from Uber Eats was …” I stop making a joke about the situation when she looks up and I see her eyes are red.
When she starts to shut the door, I instinctively stick my foot in the crack to stop her.
She looks down. “I’ll slam it.”
“A broken foot’s going to pale in comparison to the banged-up balls you’ve so kindly provided me with instead of letting me explain this messed-up situation, but do yer worst.”
“Why won’t you just leave me alone?” Her tone sounds defeated.
Dammit.
I’m guessing I’ve got a good ten seconds before she makes good on the promise to slam the door, so I dive right in to my explanation. “When my realtor, Kenzie, found me this house and pushed everything through so I could close on it as quickly as I needed to, working extra hours, calling in favors and such, I promised her a dinner. Last night, I had to cancel that promised dinner. Do ye ken why I had to cancel?”
Scowling, she looks down.
“I kent tonight’s event would not be intimate and had a definite beginning and ending time, making it less awkward while keeping my word. When I left ye this afternoon, I told ye I’d be back tonight if ye’d have me. Ye didn’t hesitate then.”
“You slept with her.” She turns around and limps toward her kitchen.
I hold back the lecture about the boot and address the more pressing issue. “I won’t lie to ye. So yes, a couple years ago, we had an arrangement. When it wasn’t working out, I ended it.”
She turns and leans against the counter, the one that I fed her breakfast and fucked her on just hours ago. She looks exhausted and, yes, hurt.
“I have no intention of fucking her ever again.”
She looks me up and down skeptically.
“May look like I’ve been handled, but trust me, when she did come on to me, I put an end to her advances quickly.”
Now she looks even more hurt. It makes my chest ache, which pisses me off.
“Say what’s on yer mind, for God’s sake, I’d rather hear yer feelings than witness yer pain.”
“I’m not stupid, Ethan. Her car’s at your house.”
“She was passed out; couldn’t give me her address. I’ve no idea where she lives now and never cared to ask. I planned to drive around until she woke up and take a cab back to ye. But when Simon called and said ye were not well, I had no choice but to come back and check on ye, so I said fuck it and headed back.”
“Why did Simon call you?”
“Because, apparently, he kent I had feelings for ye before even I could admit it.” Shit, I think when I realize what I’d just done.
“Feelings? Pft. We have a physical attraction.”
“Strongest one I’ve ever felt, Elizabeth Bloom. I’ve never wanted someone so much and fought so hard against it in my entire life. It’s just shit timing.”
If I thought her quirky actions, forced confidence, and frown had a punitive effect on me, that’s only because I’d yet to see the quivering lower lip.
I’m so fucked.
“Let me stay here tonight. I’ll crash on yer couch if ye want me to. I’m exhausted and don’t want to be under the same roof as her until she’s sober and I can give her the keys to her car.”
She searches my eyes for a long time then shrugs. “Fine.”
I do not claim to know everything about American women or the games they play, but I do know the use of the word “fine” is never a good sign. “Ye’re still angry.”
She nods.
“Do ye truly feel I’ve done ye wrong, Elizabeth Bloom? I mean, regarding tonight? Do ye feel I—”
“I don’t like to feel stupid. I don’t like the thought of possibly trusting someone that is going to use that trust against me or take advantage of me.”
“Aye, as I told ye, I’m a man of my word.”
She sighs, and when she looks up at me, she looks defeated. “I’m just not good at this, okay?”
I nod. “Okay.”
“I won’t kick you in the balls again. We can be friends. Sorry I overreacted.”
With that, I feel relieved, so I clo
se the distance between us and walk toward the kitchen island. “Don’t apologize for not being good at one-night stands, needing people ye can trust in your life, or the magic ye believe in.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I hope she didn’t catch that.
She pulls her lightweight, pale pink sweater tightly around herself, covering her beautiful body, her soft curves, and looks down.
Deciding to shift the mood, change the fucking subject, I sit down. “Ye can trust me, Elizabeth Bloom. I should have told ye about tonight, so I apologize. It won’t happen again. But ye owe me a slice of pizza, at the very least for the knee to the balls.”
Her full lips turn up, but just a little bit, and then her mouth is in a straight line again.
I’m thankful that there is an island between us or I’d be all over her, doing whatever I could to make her smile again. But first, she needs to know where I stand.
“I’m not sure I can be just yer friend after being inside ye, tasting ye, and waking up with ye, Elizabeth Bloom, but I’m going to guess at some point in the near future I may have to accept that. Hell, I may even beg for it.”
She scowls, but it’s not in anger; it’s in confusion. Fuck if that doesn’t make me feel a little less sure I could swallow a piece of apology pizza without fearing it would come back up. However, in order to stay in this house, I’m going to have to try to force it down so I can get through the night to make sure she’s sober when it’s time to have the real conversation with her.
Busted
Lizzie
He barely eats his slice of pizza, as I barely eat mine before admitting, “I’m tired and would like to get my leg up.”
“Aye, that’s a good idea. I’ll clean up.”
“I can do it.”
“Go, I insist.” His eyes move from mine to my lips and then down at the island, where we’ve each stayed on our own side while pretending to eat and not saying a word.
“You can take the downstairs bedroom,” I whisper as I make my way to the stairs. “I’ve changed the sheets and bedding.”
He doesn’t say anything, and I’m thankful.
