by S. K. Lessly
Ethan looked at me for a second without speaking. I kept his gaze but then turned away. His eyes seemed to peel my layers back, revealing truths I didn’t want known.
“I know you don’t believe that. You may be able to convince other people but you're not convincing me. Alexis, you are far smarter than that to think respect and status is a good base for a marriage, and you want to bring kids into the mix?”
“Look, I know it sounds crazy to you,” I charged on, leaning forward. I felt very defensive about my train of thought regardless if I had changed it. This was something I’d believed in for a long time. If I let up now, I’d feel even more like an idiot for sticking with it for so long. “But it makes perfect sense to me. The divorce rate in this country is at a staggering high. People believe that love can get them through, but they cheat on their spouses, they don’t trust them, and they learn late in the marriage just how much they don’t know their partner. Doing this my way makes sense to me. I know exactly what I’m getting out of Lionel. Disappointment will be low, which is a great in my opinion. On top of that, there are no surprises. I know who he is and what he’s capable of and he knows me. The fact that we’re still together in spite of it all says a lot.”
Ethan looked at his empty cup. He shook his head then looked up at me. “What about love?”
I leaned back in my chair and studied him, surprised he would even ask that question. It was strange coming from him. Ethan didn’t seem the type to fall in love anymore. You could see it in his eyes. There was a lot of darkness and coldness in them. Sure, he’d soften his scowl a bit for me but when we were around others, he could be very scary. Hearing him mention love threw me for a loop. I had no response.
Ethan continued, shocking me even more. “What about being hopelessly in love with someone that you can’t think straight without the person being with you? What about you two sharing a life together made up of dreams and experiences and struggles and joy and pain and accomplishments? Love is crazy, I know, but when you find the right person, it can be the best thing you’ve ever experienced in your life.”
He sat closer to me and showed me another side of him I hadn’t seen in a long time. Not since he left me in front of my house twelve years ago.
“Alexis, that feeling of falling in love with that one person you’re meant to be with is so amazing. You feel like you can do anything, and you would for that person. It’s the best feeling you could ever experience, and you mean to tell me you don’t want to experience that feeling of euphoria? Of completeness?”
“You sound like you know how it feels first hand,” I accused in a quiet voice. Ethan just shrugged.
I didn’t say another word for a bit. During our staring match, I decided to lay it all on the line and tell him everything I was feeling. If I was made a fool out of it, so be it. It was time I took my mom’s advice and leaped.
I confessed softly, “I was in love once. You know, that helpless love you speak of, and I hoped the other person felt the same way, but it didn’t work out. It seems every time I allow myself to feel something for this person, my heart gets broken. That feeling of heartache, of deep-rooted loneliness, Ethan, I don’t want to experience that ever again. I’d rather just live for moments without expectations from hopes and dreams. Most of all, there will be no more heartache. And the way my heart is set up, I just wouldn’t survive another one.”
At that moment, I saw the excitement fade in his eyes. He took a deep breath and touched the side of my face with one lonely finger. Goosebumps exploded along my body from that one soft touch. My heart beat a little faster, and my body soared a little higher.
“I understand how you feel,” he said softly. “I really do, but I hope it’s not too late to prove to you how good it feels to be in love.”
Oh my god!
We fell silent, our eyes locked on each other. I wanted to feed into his words, for there to be a hint in his message telling me he wanted to be the one to show me what it felt like to be in love. But deep down, I knew that wasn’t the case. It couldn’t be.
Still, I felt I needed to test the waters to see if what I felt from him was real.
“What about you? You seem to know a lot about being in love and you said you were seeing someone. Is it like that with her?”
Ethan's facial expression changed from warm to cold. His handsome face took on a faraway look that had me wanting to beat my own ass for bringing it up. But honestly, he should have seen it coming. All the love talk he was giving me, he had to know I’d flip it on him.
Ethan blew out a breath but never strayed from my face. “No, it’s not that way between us. For a long time, shit like relationships and love weren’t the things I wanted. I felt like you in a way. I didn’t think I was capable of the emotion, of feeling something stronger than hate for another human being. But I hadn’t always felt that way. A long time ago, I was in love with an amazing, smart girl who made my day every time she smiled at me. I thought she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen.” Ethan sent a smile my way that had me melting in my chair with hopes and dreams he was speaking about me. However, that died quickly when he continued. “She was my high school crush, you know.”
And just like that, my heart broke. Maybe that was why he never wrote to me. He’d met someone else in Detroit. But that kiss. Right before he left me, he kissed me. My very first kiss. And he told me he loved me. If he didn’t feel something for me, why did he say that he did? Why did he kiss me?
“Alexis?”
Not realizing I had blanked out, I focused back on him, back on the man who’d had my heart since the moment I saw him. He took my hand in his and laced our fingers together. My eyes dropped to our union and I held my breath. The feel of him, the way he caressed my fingers, even the contrast of our skin color had my stomach doing backflips.
This wasn’t the first time we’d touched or held hands, but in this moment, his touch felt different. Felt special. Maybe I was wrong in my assessment. Maybe there was something between us. Maybe…
“These past few weeks have been amazing,” he admitted, and I couldn’t help but melt. “The best time I’ve had in a very long time.”
“Me too,” I said softly, watching him. Studying him. Hoping…
“I don’t know where this is going but I want…” he paused, and I noticed his Adam’s apple bobbling frantically in his throat. He was nervous, which made me feel good. I didn’t know much about this new Ethan, but I knew one thing, nerves didn’t seem like something he experienced often. I couldn’t help but smile at that.
“What? What are you smiling about?” he prodded lightly, the side of his glorious mouth curling up a bit.
I beamed at him. “Nothing. You just seem a bit nervous that’s all. And you don’t seem like the person that gets nervous.”
He blew out a breath. “I don’t. Do you see what you do to me?”
“Me!” I shrieked.
“Yeah, you. But you’ve always done that.” Ethan brought my hand to his lips.
“Done what?” I asked absently as I watched him slowly kiss the inside of my hand.
“Make me feel things I had no idea I could feel. Make me do things I wouldn’t normally do.”
My body started to come alive in more ways than I was used to. My breathing picked up, my heart started dancing in my chest, and I could barely keep my throat from closing up. His words had hidden meanings I didn’t want to interpret wrong but honestly, I couldn’t see how I could be wrong. The fire, the heat blazing in his jeweled-color eyes was directed at me. That could only mean one thing…
My eyes grew with that thought as Ethan scooted his chair closer to me. He leaned into me and I forgot how to breathe. I watched his features darken even further, a predatory look in his eyes. He licked his lips and I damn near fainted.
“Alexis, I know a lot of time has passed. And there is a lot we need to talk about. But…” He paused again, brushing his knuckles gently across my cheek. I watched him, still holding my breath, wai
ting to hear what he was going to say. Dying to hear it. Hoping against hope that whatever he said to me, or wanted to say, would be the beginning of a new life for me. I wanted that desperately. I wanted it more than I wanted to breathe.
“Baby,” he began, his voice low, deep and filled with the same darkness in his eyes, the same heat that was probably in mine. “Can we—”
“Well, well, well. What do we have here?” came a voice from the past, breaking up the moment I knew I wouldn’t get back. Son of a bitch!
Regrettably, I turned away from Ethan to find Clint and his followers coming our way. We broke apart, much to my dismay, and I wanted nothing more than to throat punch Clint. Another part of me, admittedly, wanted to run away and hide. I looked over at Ethan, ready to ask if he wanted to go, and was surprised to see amusement etched on his handsome face. Sort of like the way he’d been during our first encounter of the mean boys during the reunion.
I leaned into Ethan and whispered, “I think we need to go.”
“We don’t need to go anywhere,” he retorted on a sneer, and I watched entranced as Ethan’s demeanor changed in a blink of an eye. He’d gone from relaxed to something completely different—dark, dangerous.
Despite the threat in his eyes, I still tried to get Ethan moving. “Clint looks like he’s had a bit too many and wants to start a fight.”
Ethan wasn’t looking at me, but I could see his eyes clearly. They were bright with excitement as he continued to watch the trio coming our way.
“Oh God, I hope so!”
“Ethan!” I exclaimed.
He tore his gaze from Clint, Steve, and Jerry and looked at me. “Don’t worry, Lexie. Nothing’s going to happen.”
“It’s not?”
“Nope. But if it does then…”
“Then what?” I asked, and Ethan’s face broke out into a blinding smile.
“Then make sure your phone is handy so you can call 911 for these clowns.”
I watched him closely. Despite the smile, I noticed the veins in Ethan’s neck pulse and the slight tension in his shoulders. There was no indication of fear. The man seemed poised and ready for a fight.
I looked back at the three coming our way, and I could see the excitement in their eyes too. This wasn’t going to end well. Not at all. And I wasn’t going to sit here and watch.
I stood abruptly and looked down at Ethan. “Well, you can call 911 yourself. I’m out of here.”
I started to walk away from the table, making my escape, but I didn’t get far. Just as I made it around a corner to head toward the hotel, I was grabbed from behind. Praying it wasn’t Clint or one of the guys, I balled up my fist ready to defend myself. But it was Ethan.
He spun me around, pulled me to him, and walked me backwards until my back hit a brick wall. “Where are you going?” he asked me, his eyes still dancing with anticipation but also with something else entirely.
Adrenaline cursed through my body, my soul, and it had nothing to do with Clint and everything to do with how close Ethan was to me.
I steeled myself, straightening out my back and puffing out my chest which, by the way, wasn’t the right move. It made my boobs look bigger and Ethan’s eyes darker.
“You’re crazy if you think I’m going to sit there and watch you get jumped by three men,” I told him.
Ethan laughed and it wasn’t a humorous one.
He touched his palm to the side of my face and moved a bit closer to me until the space between us was nonexistent. “Oh baby, there’s no way in hell that’s going to happen, trust me.”
I had a rebuttal on the tip of my tongue when we were interrupted once again.
“Will you look at them, Jerry? Don’t they make a cute couple?”
“Don’t you have something better to do, Clint?” Ethan lowered his head until our foreheads were touching. He blew out a sigh and I could have sworn he said, “I’m going to kill this fucker,” before he lifted his head to look at Clint and his friends. My eyes were huge, but Ethan’s focus on me was already gone.
“Can’t you see that I’m busy, Fusco?”
Clint shrugged, a creepy smile sliding across his slimy face. “Sorry about that. I was sitting at the table getting all misty-eyed at the reunion you two freaks were having. I wanted to join in on the fun.”
Ethan’s features suddenly brightened. Before he spoke to Clint, he gently guided me to his side using the firm grip he had on the side of my face. The way he handled me, the possessive and dominant way he gripped me and moved me to where he wanted me to be, was a freaking turn on. Not the right time, Alexis…
“Oh Clint, you sure about that?” Ethan asked. “I remember the last time we talked about the past. It didn’t go well for you.”
I caught Clint’s hand instinctively go to his face. I looked at the side of Ethan’s face, shock riding me hard. So, he was the reason Clint had that bruise on the side of his face.
“Well, that was then. Now, Jerry and Steve want to go down memory lane with me.”
Ethan smiled. “Really?” He shrugged. “I definitely don’t have a problem with that. In fact, this should be fun.” He then looked down at me and touched my face with the backs of his fingers, something I was beginning to enjoy. “Sweetheart, go and grab the cooler and head back to the hotel. I’ll be there in about thirty minutes.” He turned and looked at the trio in front of him then turned back at me. “No scratch that. Make that fifteen.”
Reluctantly, I pulled away from Ethan, unable to hide the fear in my eyes. But Ethan just smiled encouragingly at me. He jutted his chin toward our hotel, and I took that as my cue to get the hell out of dodge. I slid past the men, went around the corner, and quickly grabbed our stuff, throwing our empty cups in the nearest garbage can.
When I hit the corner, the cooler dragging behind me, the grown ass men acting like children were still standing in their respective spots. I met Ethan’s eyes as I passed them and he winked. I shuddered.
Fifteen minutes later, Ethan was at my door. I had changed out of the dress and into the Rehoboth t-shirt he had bought me and a pair of cotton shorts.
I opened the door, ready to ask him what happened, when he stepped inside and trapped my face between his large hands. He pulled me to him and in one fluid movement, slammed his lips to mine.
I couldn’t move at first, shock hitting me hard. Then… I moved. I wrapped my arms around his neck, opened my mouth and granted him entrance. And holy shit… this kiss…
He wasted no time claiming my mouth, taking what he wanted, cementing his taste on my tongue. His arms snaked around my body and held me close to him, and I moaned from the feel of his body against mine. It felt good to be close to him, good to be enveloped in his embrace, but I wanted more. Clearly, so did Ethan because the next thing I knew, his hands went to my butt and he hoisted me until I wrapped my legs around his waist. The door was at my back in seconds and his tongue deep in my throat.
I didn’t know how long we were up against the door, but by the time he released my lips, I was panting hard. My body was on fire, my nipples aching, the apex of my thighs soaked, and my lower lips throbbed for attention.
“Ethan…” I panted harshly as my eyes rolled to the back of my head. His lips were gliding along my neck, touching me in places that made goosebumps surface on my heated skin.
I ground my hips against him, needing friction and getting that and so much more.
“Ohhh god!” I shuddered at the feel of him, of how he was able to make me lose my mind with just the simplest of movements.
“Fuck, baby… I want you,” Ethan mumbled against my neck. He ran his lips, his tongue, along my jawline to my lips and whispered. “Say yes, baby. Say yes…”
“Yes,” I found myself saying without hesitation.
“Fuck!” he growled and started moving toward the bed.
He deposited us both on the cool, soft blanket and started kissing me again, his hands roaming along my waist, my side, to the front of my shirt. When he cuppe
d my breast and squeezed, my hips bucked up against him.
“Good god, Ethan,” I moaned, still needing more from him.
Ethan made quick work of removing my shirt and shorts, leaving me sprawled under him in a matching electric blue lace bra and panties set. His salacious eyes roamed all over my body, making me squirm with delight.
To say I wore this bra and panty set hoping I’d get to show off would be a correct assessment. The fact that it had actually come true blew my mind.
Ethan settled next to me, taking in every inch of my charged-up body. I started to feel self-conscious under his acute examination and started to wrap my arms around my body.
“Uh-uh, Lexie.” He pushed my hands away. “You will not cover up from me.”
“Ethan,” I protested on a groan. “You’re making me nervous just staring at me.”
His brows furrowed deeply. “Why, baby? Don’t you know how fucking stunning you are? I can’t wait to get you completely naked. I can’t wait to taste you.”
His fingers lightly skimmed my skin, touching the mounds of my breasts, reverently, longingly. He traveled down to my stomach, brushing soft fingertips to my overheated, goosebump-covered skin. I writhed underneath him, the need for more becoming too much.
“Fuck, Lexie. You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this moment.”
I clocked the hunger building in his eyes and swallowed hard, nerves and excitement hitting me like a tsunami wave.
I whispered his name and raked my fingers through his hair, needing to touch him, wanting him to know just how much I wanted him too.
“Fuck baby, your touch will be my undoing.”
“Me too, Ethan. Please take me. Claim me. Make me feel good.”
Ethan grinned. “I plan to, baby. Believe me, I plan to.”
Chapter Thirteen
Ethan
Fucking finally…
I had the woman I loved in my arms. It had taken a while, a long fucking while, but finally.
