by S. K. Lessly
Lionel turned away from the table and threw up on the floor.
“Take his sorry ass out of here!” Ethan exclaimed. Lester went over to Lionel, grabbed him by the back of his collar, and escorted him out of the room.
“I’ll go and get something so he can clean this shit up because I’m not doing it.” Jessica got up and left the room too, leaving me and Ethan alone.
There was an awkward silence between us that felt strange. Just when I was about to say something, he stood. “Stay put. I’ll be back.”
“Ethan,” I called to him and he stopped at the door. “Thank you,” I whispered.
I heard him exhale deeply before he said to me, “I’ll be back.”
***
A few minutes later, Lionel came back in the room with a bucket and a mop. He had also changed into something similar to myself, sweatpants, a tee and sneakers. He cleaned up his mess while I watched, sitting far away from him.
The other big guy, not Lester, came in the room with a tray of food. He brought it over the table, and I grabbed a tuna sandwich and a water off the tray, thanked him, and moved over to the couch to sit down and eat. I was foolish to not eat breakfast. I wouldn’t make that mistake again.
“Alexis...” I turned to see Lionel standing next to me. “Look, I just want to say I’m sorry for how shit went down.”
I didn’t respond or acknowledge his apology. Instead, I asked, “If you didn’t want to get married, why didn’t you say something? Why string me along, knowing damn well you wanted someone else?”
“Look, it was never my intention to cheat on you, alright? Things just…got out of control. And after a while, I didn’t know how to tell you.”
My face screwed up disapprovingly. “That’s a crock of crap and you know it. You could’ve just been honest with me. We had a deal and you shitted on that deal with no remorse. You slept with this woman for years. During that time, you and I were having unprotected sex, planning our future, planning our family. How could you?”
“Look, it was hard for me, okay?” he blurted, falling into the chair across from me.
“Hard for you? How?” I finally asked, putting down my sandwich on the table in front of me.
“Hard to live up to…him,” he said to me, a bit of grit in his voice on the word him. We both knew who he meant. There was no need to ask for clarity. He continued. “Alexis, do you have any idea how hard it was to live up to this guy you’ve been pining over for years? And now, to see him in the flesh? I’m a very prideful person, you know that, but from the beginning you put that weight on me and I was defeated from the door.”
“I didn’t put any weight on you. I never asked you to be anyone but yourself.”
“Come off it, Alexis. You didn’t have to. All you used to talk about in the beginning was your best friend from high school. You and Ethan this, you and Ethan that. Fuck, it was exhausting to hear. Nothing I did was good enough. It always seemed, in your eyes, that you wanted more. If I loved you and showed it to you, you expected more. You expected me to be him and I just couldn’t do that. Maybe I’m just not built to love like that.”
I rolled my eyes at him, my world spinning with anger.
“Oh please. You didn’t love me. I was only good for one thing and according to you I wasn’t good at that either. Lionel, you were a shitty boyfriend and fiancé. I didn’t deserve that. For one, I never told you that you had to live up to anyone. I didn’t put expectations on you I wasn’t willing to live up to myself. I said yes to your proposal because I thought you would see I was in your corner. I chose you at the time because I felt I could be a great partner for you, support you, and hold you up. I thought, stupidly, you would see that and maybe treat me the way I deserved. I knew I wouldn’t get your heart. I was okay with that because I didn’t have mine to give. But I had been willing to settle for your respect. In the same token, I wanted you to have my back and support me, and on occasion look at me the way you looked at that woman’s picture. It was like that in the beginning, but for some reason things changed, you changed. You think I made it hard for you? Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to live up to a woman I didn’t even know existed?”
Lionel leaned back in the chair and studied me for a long moment. So long that I started to feel uncomfortable. Finally, he spoke and what he said floored me.
“You deserved so much more than I could have ever given you. I didn’t deserve you.”
I gasped, my mouth dropping open at the honesty he had just given to me. I’d never had it before, and I was clueless to as to how to deal now. But thankfully, I didn’t have to. Lionel didn’t say anything else. He leaned forward and bit into his sandwich, essentially dismissing me and our conversation. I finally relaxed and drank my water, leaving the food on the table. I had lost my appetite.
I thought about responding to his words. I could have said something witty or crass like, “you got damn right you didn’t deserve me.” Except I couldn’t bring myself to do it. In my opinion, words were enough. I needed closure and with that last statement, he gave it.
Chapter Nineteen
Alexis
Lionel and I had been left alone for several hours but it felt like days. Half of me wished we were escorted back to our cells. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but I didn’t have the courage to ask. It didn’t matter, I guess. After our little “come to Jesus” moment, Lionel had kept to himself. We hadn’t said but two words to each other the entire time we were alone, taking naps when we could, waiting for someone to tell us the next steps.
Lester and the guy who brought us sandwiches for lunch and then dinner— who, by the way, was named Bruce—took turns watching us. They would stand close to the door essentially ignoring us. These guys were huge, stuffed in tailored suits that cost an arm and a leg. They looked mean and ready to kill. They also looked like they could be FBI or something, minus the expensive suit, or maybe mob guys.
I was lying on the couch trying to sleep but couldn’t. As much as I wanted to be alone, it seemed I couldn’t stand the silence. I was going mad with crazy thoughts. In fact, I was tripping. The situation I was in wasn’t something I had ever thought would happen. I expected to be miles away from here, half dressed and lying on a beach somewhere with the man I loved. Instead, I was in a warehouse, arrested, I think, by the man who I thought loved me back.
God, Ethan…
I couldn’t stop thinking about him. No matter how hard I tried, he was always on my mind. He was an operative for the freakin’ government. I wasn’t sure which one he belonged to but holy shit! I couldn’t believe it. I mean… well, okay yeah, it wasn’t that farfetched. I knew he was in the army and I kinda knew he was a member of a special forces unit during the time he disappeared from the DOD database. The fact that he’d then joined a government agency admittedly was the natural section of things. He wasn’t built for anything else but protecting the U.S. from those out to harm us.
From the way he handled Lionel, and all accounts me, he seemed to be good at his job. But was he too good? God, I had questions and I wasn’t sure if I would ever get them answered or worse, I would be told everything and the answers would hurt like hell.
I was a suspect in an ongoing investigation. What was Ethan’s job? Had he been told to question me? Investigate me? Watch me to see if I’d slip up and reveal my guilt? I had no clue but I wanted to know. I also wanted to know if I was just a job.
Had he spent all that time with me because he had to? From how things went down, and his words, I had to assume he was just following orders. What we shared wasn’t real. God, I felt like an idiot.
Here I thought he had been with me because he wanted to. Well no, that wasn’t the case. I had always thought he was with me because he felt bad for me. The fact that I was only a job to him made me feel even worse.
And us sleeping together… had that also been part of his job? I cringed at the possible answer to that loaded question. Yeah, I needed to burn the dreams of living happi
ly ever after with the boy I fell in love with and embrace reality. The boy I used to know was dead. In his place was a stranger.
I closed my eyes, fighting back tears when I heard the door open. At first, I started to ignore the newcomer, but I felt the air around me charge and my body instantly come alive with need. I moved my arm from across my face and opened my eyes. Ethan was here, heading in our direction with couple of evidence bags in his hands. I sat up, throwing my legs off the couch and giving space for him to sit down. Ethan threw a nod my way and sat on the couch next to me.
He addressed Lionel.
“Lionel, who gave you this belt and watch?” He held up a bag containing the items he mentioned.
“Uh, I had the belt for a while but the watch, Catia, or rather Yllana bought it for me. Why?”
“We may have a problem. You got searched thoroughly for any listening devices or tracking devices before you got here, correct?” Lionel frowned, confused, but he nodded. Ethan continued. “For some reason, our systems were detecting feedback from your clothes and after further investigation, we found a tracking device on you.”
“Who put it there?” Lionel asked, starting to get annoyed.
“We think it was Yllana so she could check on your whereabouts. What they didn’t expect was what happened a few hours ago.” Ethan looked at Lionel then at me. “The upload of the weapon didn’t work. The NSA detected the hack the other night and put a tracer on it. Again, the trace went back to you, Alexis, so they have your name and address. Just as they were sending the Feds to your apartment in Philly, the software tracer started submitting a signal. The Feds followed the trace and found Yllana and their hideout.”
“So, it’s over, they have them?” I asked, smiling and hoping, praying this nightmare was over, but the look in Ethan’s eyes told me it wasn’t.
“I’m afraid not. They arrested a few of their henchmen but Yllana and her family got away. They are on the run. We believe they will find a way to get out of town with no problem. Our borders in certain states are horrible. My concern, however, is you two. I’m sure the tracking device is an indication she thinks you’re a loose end. If they know where you are, they will come for you.” We both looked at Lionel and I saw the fright creep into his eyes.
Ethan then looked at me. “If they know we picked you both up, both of you are in danger. The Stoyanovich family doesn’t like to have loose ends. I feel they will come here. It’s only a matter of time.”
As if on cue, the lights went out. I stood and gasped. The generator kicked in and the room was illuminated with a green tint.
Ethan pulled out his gun and signaled to Bruce to watch the door.
“What’s going on?” Lionel asked.
“Shh, quiet,” Ethan told him. He felt for his phone that had started to vibrate and answered, “Where are you?” He listened then signaled for Bruce to open the door. Jessica and Billy both came inside.
Ethan walked up to Jessica. “We’ve been breached,” she said.
“How many?” Ethan asked.
“About fifteen, maybe more, and they’re all over the place. Some of our men are already down. We’ve got to get these two out of here.”
“Are Yllana or Lenny here?” Ethan asked Jessica.
Jessica shook her head. “Not sure. They all have masks but they’re all speaking in Russian, so who knows.”
“We’ve got to get outta here. Why are you two standing here talking?” Lionel asked panicked.
“Lionel, sit down and shut up!” Ethan admonished tersely then turned to Billy. “Show me where they are!”
“I would love to, but I can’t.” Billy had a pained look on his face that didn’t sit well with Ethan or me for that matter.
“What?”
“Someone is blocking me from the cameras. We didn’t complete all the security measures yet and someone has hacked into our system, took over and somehow locked me out.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Ethan barked, his face turning beet red.
Billy, seemingly immune to Ethan’s rage, just shrugged.
“We didn’t expect trouble. This was just supposed to be her. We didn’t account for him and Russians.”
“So, you’re telling me we’re blind.”
Billy nodded.
“Shit!” Ethan ran his fingers through his hair and rested his hand against his neck. “Without eyes, we’re sitting ducks.”
I heard automatic weapons going off somewhere inside the building and I started to shake. Then I blinked, an idea popping into my fearful mind. I stepped forward. “Let me try and see if I can get them back?”
Everyone looked at me, skeptically, but Billy spoke up. “I don’t know if you can. I can’t even find what’s jamming the system.” I didn’t waste time or wait for permission. I headed to Billy and took his laptop from his hands.
“Well it’s not about the what, it’s about the who.”
I started banging on the keys typing codes into a DOS system that would enable me to locate not the cameras or the software jamming them, but who was doing the jamming. I found the location and said, as I worked, “There has to be someone close by jamming you. They are using a sophisticated system that unfortunately has no long-range capability. They have to be close in order to use it to blind your cameras.”
“Can you shut them out and give us control again?” Ethan asked me.
“No, but I can do you one better. There." I stood and looked at Ethan. “Now you can see what they’re seeing.”
I turned the laptop around so Ethan could see. On the screen were multiple smaller screens that showed images of hallways within the building. There were men in black clothing crouched behind furniture and walls all armed to the teeth. You could also see men in masks with automatic weapons as well as bodies strewn all over the floor.
“Let’s get married!” Billy proposed, his eyes bright with excitement and awe. “We can procreate spawns of brilliant babies.”
I smiled, flattered that at least someone appreciated me.
I stepped back as Ethan got close to the screen. He studied the screen for a few minutes before he spoke.
“Bruce, I need you to head in this direction.” He pointed to a hallway and looked behind him to the big man. “Lester is pinned down here. I need you to come up behind them. They won’t know you’re coming and won’t see you. Once you get Lester, you two need to go this way.”
Ethan gave him a few more directives using codes way over my head. Bruce of course understood his orders. He sent a nod to Ethan before he disappeared out the door. Jessica, who had come up beside me, leaned over to watch the small screen. Her phone began to vibrate, and she stood up straight, pulled her phone from her back pocket, and brought it to her ear.
“Yes sir, we’ve been compromised. No sir, they’re down. We’re in the second interrogation room. No sir… Yes sir, we do. Okay… Got it.” She hung up. “George is on his way with bravo team but they’re twenty minutes out.”
“That’s too long.” Ethan straightened and met Jessica’s eyes. He spoke candidly and with every syllable that fell from his lips, I became more and more scared. “If we don’t find a way out now, we’re sitting ducks.”
“Agreed. What do you want to do?” she asked him.
“We need to get down here." Ethan focused on the laptop screen. Jessica moved closer so she could follow along. I stepped back and watched them. The closeness I had seen earlier, the familiarity they shared… it was evident they had a thing. It confirmed my previous thought. Jessica was the special someone.
My heart, what was left of it, crumbled a little more. I couldn’t help but think of Lionel’s harsh words. I also couldn’t stop thinking he had a point. I couldn’t measure up to this woman. She was beautiful, strong, and tough. She and Ethan had a connection I would never be able to measure up or relate to. On top of that, she knew this new Ethan, the hard, badass that was scary as hell. I was still hung up on the old Ethan. The one that loved science, Star Wars, and who got
picked on constantly. If I didn’t accept that the boy I knew was gone, I’d never move on from this heartache, and it was clear I needed to move on. The question was, how?
“There are a few shitheads down there, but we should be able to take them,” I heard Ethan say as I tuned back in to their conversation. He straightened, pulled out his gun, and released the magazine. He checked it, slammed it back in, and chambered a round. Jessica did the same thing and they looked at each other.
“How many clips do you have?” Ethan queried.
“Three, you?”
“The same, but I think things are about to get messy. Don’t waste any bullets.”
She smiled. “Oh please, Rambo. Make sure you take your own advice.”
He genuinely smiled back at her and what was left of my broken heart turned to dust.
Ethan turned fierce green eyes to me and Lionel. “Alright, you two listen carefully. We are getting out of here. I need you two to stay between Jessica and myself, understood? Keep your head down at all times and make sure you keep up. Don’t stray anywhere and stay quiet. If you get me shot, I will shoot you.”
He didn’t wait for us to reply or acknowledge him. He shifted his attention to Billy. “You ready, Sport?”
I thought Billy looked out of place among these warriors. It had nothing to do with him per se. The man was built and looked capable, more capable that Lionel or myself. If I had just met him, I would have thought he was just like Ethan, a hardcore, tough guy killer. But the look in Billy’s brown eyes told me just how much he didn’t belong.
Jessica sauntered up to him and patted him on the shoulder. “Just keep close and watch my back.”
