by S. K. Lessly
“Ethan, fuck baby, I think I’m about to…Oh shit… Oh…” I warned him as my toes began to curl and the nerve endings in my body flickered to life. He released my nipple slid down my body and buried his face between my thighs. The second his lips covered my clit and he sucked, I exploded, white hot ecstasy flowing through me like lava. I shot up from the bed, screaming his name, my fingernails raking up his back, gripping the hell out of his hair.
Ethan, to his credit, didn’t complain. No, he moaned, whispered, “Fuck yes baby,” against my core, grabbed me by my thighs, and pulled my pussy closer, burying his face deeper.
“Fuck...” I fell against the bed, arched my back as another orgasm quickly climbed along my spine. I shook my head from side to side, grabbing the sheets for purchase.
“Oh fuck… oh fuck… oh fuck… Ethan!” I chanted, slammed my fist against the mattress, and came undone all over his face. My release seemed to go on and on as he sucked me, licked me and fucked me with his mouth.
When I finally recovered from the best orgasm of my life, I felt boneless. I smiled, opened my mouth to, I don’t know thank him, when he crawled up my body, gripped my thighs and rammed his thick long shaft into me.
“Ethan!” I yelped in surprise, my eyes as wide as my legs. I wrapped my shaky arms around his shoulders and breathed out.
“Fuck baby,” he growled in my neck. “You’re so wet, so fucking tight. Your taste is driving me fucking crazy. I need to fuck you, baby. I need to claim you.” He lifted off me, resting on his hands, my legs hanging over his arms, my pussy open for the taking.
“Tell me you’re mine,” he demanded, and I didn’t hesitate.
“I’m yours.”
“Fuck, yes you are. All fucking mine.”
After that declaration, Ethan began fucking the ever-loving fuck out of me. That was the best way to describe what he was doing to me.
Shit, I… there are no words.
The man’s thrusts were brutal, unforgiving. He slammed into me over and over again, angling his hips hitting places I didn’t know existed. I couldn’t help crying out his name in rapid succession as he conquered me, ravished me.
The headboard was rocking, and the percussion from our bodies colliding in sensual rhythm rang throughout the room. Hell, I think the sound of us fucking drove him to fuck me harder, deeper. The only time he slowed was to reposition my body where he wanted—on my side, my leg over his hip. Or on my stomach, my ass up and face buried in the dampened sheets.
If I was on my back, my legs were either wide open in a V-shape or my legs rested on his shoulders. It didn’t matter what position we were in, he filled me with his need for me, and with his love. He rightfully claimed me and ruined me all at the same time.
Before he found his release, I was on top, my knees resting on either side of his hips. His hands were gripping my ass cheeks, spreading me open, then clenching as I slid slowly down his shaft. My hands cupped his face, our eyes locked on each other, our lips were inches apart. This was the second time he slowed it down. I was on my… what… maybe fifth orgasm and he was working to his second.
Sweat dripped off my body onto his soaked skin, our sex-soaked hair matted to our faces. We had said every dirty thing to each other for hours but this time we were quiet, letting out bodies say the words our tired throats couldn’t.
Ethan trapped my face between his large hands and thrust up into me. I cried out, closing my eyes.
“No,” he grounded out. “I want to see you come, baby. Keep your eyes on me.”
I was exhausted but I did as he asked. Actually, I did more. I gathered as much strength I could muster and sat up. He had been in control all night. If this was going to be our last night, and I knew it would be, I was going to make sure he never forgot me.
Keeping my eyes on him, I rested one hand on his chest and the other on the headboard. I started moving a little faster, sliding up and down easily. It wasn’t that I was used to his size, because shit, I wasn’t. This man was freaking huge. But my body melted for him, molded to him. It only proved that I was specifically made for him.
I continued my lazy pace, but I had a trick up my sleeve. I had used it once on Lionel and he screamed like a bitch when he came. He also told me to never do it again. I hadn’t done much but tighten my pussy around him. The thing was, I loved Kegel exercises. I made sure to do them all the time. So much so, I could probably crack a nut if I wanted to, using just my pussy muscles. I could also clutch a man’s dick so tight he’d see stars when he came.
“You wanna come, Lexie?”
I nodded, knowing Ethan would make sure I did just that. He placed the pad of his thumb against my swollen clit and began to stroke me. I let my head fall back and allowed the sensations to flow through me. I was building fast, but I needed him to do the same.
I reached behind me and started playing with his balls. I clenched my muscles around his dick so tight, his cadence skipped.
“What the fuck…”
I did it again. This time, I started moving faster, gripping his nipples and slamming down on him hard.
“Fuck, baby… what…” He gripped my hips trying to control me, but I wouldn’t stop. I leaned closer and slammed down on him over and over until I shattered all over him. And as I came, I tightened my pussy muscles around him so hard he yelled my name, threw out a bunch of fucks as he released inside me. His eyes even rolled to the back of his head he came so hard.
Seeing him come apart like that made me swell with pride. I patted myself on the back, whispered his name before I collapsed on his chest, exhausted. I felt his heart pounding against my chest, his breath coming hard on my face. Other than that, he didn’t move.
I pushed up to make sure he was okay. His eyes were still closed but a smile was plastered along his reddened face.
“You okay?” I asked in between breaths.
He didn’t respond. Instead, he captured my face in his hands and brought my lips to his.
He kissed me deeply, passionately before he released my lips and opened his eyes.
“I love you, Lexie.”
I froze as his words filled me.
His bright green eyes were on mine, fully satiated and filled with love.
I smiled at him and touched the side of his face with my fingers.
“I love you too,” I whispered back.
He kissed me once more, pulled out and tucked me into his side. We were lying in a serious wet spot but neither of us cared. Hell, we couldn’t move even if the building was collapsing. I smiled and cuddled closer to Ethan before I fell fast asleep.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Alexis
I woke hours later to Ethan’s tongue caressing my folds.
I moaned and grounded my pussy against his face instinctively. I opened my eyes and found a pair of dark eyes staring back at me.
He brought me to a quick orgasm before he climbed up my body, kissing my stomach then tracing my scar with his tongue until his face was hovering over mine.
“Are you sore?” he asked, and I nodded. “I’ll go slow.”
I nodded again and arched my back as he pushed into me. He went painfully slow, sliding in and out in an unhurried pace. He kept his eyes on mine the whole time as if he was cataloging this moment in order to relive it later.
“So good,” he whispered to me. “So sweet, so tight. Mine…”
I buried my fingers in his hair and reached up to kiss him.
I then held on to him as he brought both of us to a slow, unhurried yet very intense, climax. Once we both came down from our erotic high, Ethan placed a few featherlike kisses along my chest before he slowly pulled out and collapsed next to me.
“Got damn, Alexis… you’re…shit.”
I smiled, breathing too hard to respond.
“You good?” he asked, and I opened one eye to find him propped on his side looking down at me.
“Yeah,” I said finally. “I’m good.”
Ethan ran his fingers over
my body, fondling my breasts, caressing my stomach, my cheek. When his finger drew a line down my breast bone, I stiffened slightly.
“Does it still hurt?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No.”
I opened my eyes and studied him. Ethan seemed to be heavy in thought as he continued to slide his finger up and down. His jaw seemed tense and his eyes had a faraway look in them.
“What about you?” I asked him. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair.
“What do you mean?”
I grinned devilishly at him. “Oh, I don’t know, I recall your eyes rolling in the back of your head after I made you come.”
He grinned at me. “Did I? I don’t remember.”
I laughed. “Yeah, you do. I bet that was something you’ve never experienced before.”
He leaned in and kissed me. “You are right about that. I came so fucking hard, I thought my head was about to explode, but it didn’t have anything to do with you squeezing the life out of my dick.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Oh, no? What was it?”
Ethan touched a finger to my nose. “It was just you. Last night, and this morning was the best I’ve ever had, Lex. Being with you is just everything.”
My smile covered my entire face as I blushed. “I feel the same way.”
I wanted to ask him about his declaration of love, but I was too chicken. Again, I had to fight my battles one at a time. Tonight was a win for me. Maybe, just maybe things would turn out in my favor.
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he said, his face sobering.
“Okay, shoot.” I braced myself for whatever it was, hoping it was about us being together. Yeah, wishful thinking was an evil bitch.
“What did Lionel mean when he said you couldn’t do the one thing that most women can do?”
I frowned, trying to remember what he was talking about.
“When you two were in the interrogation room before all hell broke loose.” He offered, seeing the confusion on my face. “You two were talking or arguing and he said a lot of fucked up shit. One of which was calling you out on not being able to do the one thing that most women can do.”
I sighed, remembering it well, but trying to forget. What I wasn’t going to do was keep anything else from him.
“I can’t get pregnant.”
“What?” He leaned back from me, shock evident on his face.
“Yeah,” I uttered softly. “Lionel wanted to start on kids early. I stopped taking birth control and the doctor said it could take a long time to conceive. So, we tried to get pregnant for a few months and it never happened. Lionel was frustrated and impatient with the whole process. He wanted to make sure everything was good between us. That’s when I found out I couldn’t have kids. The doctor explained that my body was rejecting his sperm by going into defense mode and basically killing what didn’t belong. Needless to say, Lionel was pissed. Except, for some reason, he wanted to stay with me. For the life of me I didn’t know why, but at the time I was too depressed to even decipher his motives. I guess I know what they were now.”
I remembered how depressed I’d been after hearing I couldn’t conceive. I barely ate, barely slept. The thought of not being able to have kids broke me. The crazy thing was, I wasn’t sad because I couldn’t have children with Lionel. It was strange, but I was more upset because there was no way I could have kids with Ethan.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t think I would ever see him again to have kids, but the dream was still there. The moment I was told the heartbreaking news, it was as if I had lost Ethan all over again. The dreams of having a family with him died that day.
I opened my eyes and found Ethan watching me.
“I’m sorry, Lex. I know how having kids meant to you when we talked about it growing up.”
I shrugged, trying to down play it a little, but deep down inside I was still hurting.
Ethan touched my face and kissed me. “Let’s get some rest. You wore me out.”
I chuckled as he pulled me into his arms. I rested my head on his chest and he kissed the top of my head.
“I love you, baby,” he whispered.
“I love you more,” I whispered back.
In the morning, when I opened my eyes, Ethan was gone.
***
Ethan
I stepped on the charter plane, my mind still back at Lexie’s hotel room. I couldn’t stop thinking about the night we’d shared, the things we’d said, and what we’d done. I hadn’t planned on ending up in Lexie’s bed. I had gone to her hotel room just to check on her, to make sure she was alright. I should’ve known better things wouldn’t go the way I’d planned. There was just something about Alexis that always made me unhinged. I couldn’t think straight when I was around her. Logic flew out the window and was replaced with a deep-seated need, soul-aching desire, and ravenous hunger.
I found an empty seat, dropped my body into it, and tossed my bag in the seat across from me. I leaned the chair back, closed my eyes, and sighed. My chest hadn’t loosened since the moment I left her. I knew it was wrong, leaving like a thief in the night—or early morning—but I couldn’t help it. I wouldn’t have been able to leave if I had stayed.
There was a pull between us, she was right about that. Just as she felt me, I felt her. It had always been like that for me, but it took her getting shot to make me realize the feelings I’d buried weren’t buried deep. And now they’d surfaced, and I had no clue what to fucking do.
“How did it go?”
I sighed and opened my eyes to find Jessica sitting across from me.
I took her in for a long moment before I closed my eyes again. I had planned to ignore her, but I knew that would only piss her off. Then she’d do something to piss me off and that wouldn’t be go for the both of us.
“It went fine,” I grumbled.
“And… you ended things?”
“Yup,” I returned, still not looking at her.
“And how did she take it?”
I opened my eyes and looked at her. Her questioning eyes were hard and focused. I didn’t like that shit one bit.
“Why the fuck are you bothering me about this? I said I ended it. What more do you fucking want?”
“The truth perhaps,” she pushed back. “I can see it all over you that you didn’t end it. You’re brooding, first of all. More than usual I might add. You’re tense, fist balled up ready to punch something or someone. Again, that’s to be expected. But what’s not expected is the pained look on your face.”
“Stop psycho-analyzing me, Jessica,” I raged, feeling my temper shoot straight into the atmosphere.
“Then stop lying to me and tell me the truth. We’re about to head to a mission and I need you on your game, not lovesick and missing your woman.”
That was it. I leaned forward and narrowed my dark eyes on her.
“Say another fucking word and I’ll rip the tray table next to me and beat you to death with it. I will only say this shit once more. It’s done. I said I was going to end things and I did. I broke the woman that owns me, again. Are you happy? Now fuck off. Just because I hurt the only woman I will ever love doesn’t mean I have to fucking like it.” I got up and stared down at her. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’m trying to compartmentalize so I can do the job you claim I was born to do. So, stop with the gotdamn questions and let me mourn the loss of my soul in fucking peace.”
I stepped away from her and took a seat at the back of the plane. I gave her one last look and saw Billy take my seat across from her. I closed my eyes before I lost my shit and destroyed this entire fucking plane and everyone on it.
I knew Jessica was only trying to help. She was there when I made the decision to let Lexie go for her own good and safety. The life I lived was hectic, dangerous. I was always on some mission that took me out of the country, which wasn’t something I could avoid. Therefore, trying to have a relationship, family, and kids wasn’t in the cards for me.
&nb
sp; Fuck, but I didn’t want to let her go. She had become the air I breathed, my calm when the storm was heavy. I could just hear the sound of her voice and all seemed right with me. She anchored me, made me feel human and not the killing machine I was born and molded to be. But I also knew I was a danger to her. The reason I was successful at my job was because I had no conscience. I didn’t feel, I reacted, calculated and without prejudice. I killed without remorse.
I couldn’t do that then go home to my family with my hands metaphorically covered in blood. I couldn’t live two lives like that and not expect my family to become a target. Therefore, I had to say goodbye to Lex. I had to. However, I didn’t expect it to be so hard.
I didn’t expect the confessions of love, the soul clutching expressions of desire, of need and want. And I didn’t expect to feel like I lost a part of me when I left.
“Fuck.” I ran my fingers through my hair wondering, hoping I had made the right decision because deep down, I felt like I had made the biggest mistake of my life.
I tried to put that truth away and sleep, but I felt someone approaching. When I opened my eyes, Billy was taking the seat across from me. I growled, ready to pounce, when he raised his hand.
“I’ll watch out for her,” he announced quickly, before I lost my shit. “I’ll make sure she’s good, safe.” I opened my mouth to tell him not to bother but he continued. “I don’t agree with Jessica. I think you’re capable of doing whatever the fuck you want to do. Alexis is not like other women. She’s special. Now, hold on.” He chuckled nervously when my face darkened, and my jaw clenched. “I’m not trying to be disrespectful. I’m just saying she’s different from the average girl. She knows what you are, who you are. She wouldn’t want you to be anything else but the stone-cold killer you are.”
I frowned at him and he shook his head. “Fuck, I’m not saying this right. I should have listened to Jess and minded my own business.”
“Yeah, you should have,” I agreed darkly.
Billy narrowed his eyes at me. “Yeah, well, I didn’t. Alexis is different. She knows you inside and out. She knows the good, the bad, and the deranged and didn’t give you the boot even though she should have. Wolf, man, you’ve been the person she needed when she needed you, and you’ve also been the operative you needed to be when it was required. Granted, you wouldn’t be able to work all the missions you do now but fuck that. There are other operatives. They may not be as good as you, but we have them. If you wanted to make a life for yourself with the woman you love, you could do it. I’m saying, it could work. She would be safer with you than without you, right?”
