by C H Gideon
“Someone is messing with my buildings!” she cried. “We put up a tent and start the next one. Before I can get that finished, I turn around, and the first one is falling down.”
“Are you sure they’re doing it correctly?” Maddox asked.
“The instructions are printed right on the side of the tent!” Jiya ranted, flailing her arms. “A five-year-old could put them up! Someone is taking them down.”
“Let’s go look,” Maddox said, taking her arm so she wouldn’t smack him in the head with one of her wild gyrations. They jogged across the field, past the delicious smelling taco line, to the far side. Maddox’s stomach growled.
Two tents lay collapsed on the field. Crew members swarmed around a third, putting supports into place and staking it.
“We just put up these three tents,” Jiya said. “Then we went to the far side of that one,” she pointed at one of the deflated tents, “and put two over there. When we came back to get lunch, all three were a crumpled heap.”
“Finish that one,” Maddox said. “Then have another crew inspect it while your guys grab some lunch. Maybe they’re tired and missed a couple steps.”
“It was done correctly,” Jiya said through clenched teeth. “But we’ll do it your way.”
“I’ll set a couple pucks to fly surveillance within the camp,” Maddox said. “We’ve got them watching for incoming threats. Never occurred to me to have them watching for internal ones.”
“Thanks,” Jiya said, turning to her team. “When I catch whoever is doing this…”
He chugged a flask of water as he walked back to the tent. He’d get the pucks running, then join the lunch crowd. Finding the pucks, he entered the commands and sent them whirring out of the tent. Spotting the dulchees Aaront had left behind, he grabbed one for the road. As he left the tent, he cut off a chunk. The aroma was heavenly, and the taste… This would go great with tacos.
Fifteen minutes later, Jiya stomped back toward the command tent. “Those damn tents are down again! Did you see who did it?”
Maddox lay on the springy grass in front of the tent, grinning vacantly. “You’re spinning,” he said in a sing-song voice. “The whole planet is spinning. Make it stop!”
“Shit! What have you been drinking, Maddox?” Jiya exclaimed. She clasped his hand and pulled him to his feet. “Maddox?”
The general smiled. “The lovely, lovely dulchees,” he sang.
Jiya spotted the half-eaten fruit and scooped it up. “Let’s get the botanists,” she said. “And then to the Pod-doc.” She slung his arm over her shoulder and dragged the drunken general into the tent.
I need a botanist, she called via comm. The automated system sent her call to the right recipients. I also need an expert on local flora.
Coming, a voice replied.
Aaront arrived a few minutes later, breathing heavily. “What’s going on? It sounded urgent.”
“Does that fruit cause this?” She handed the dulchee to the scientist, then gestured to Maddox.
The general sprawled in his chair, head back, legs splayed. He lifted heavy eyelids and peered at the newcomer. “Aaront! My new bestest bud!”
“This is the intoxicant,” Aaront said, turning the sticky dulchee over in his hand. “Where did he get this? I told him he should get trained before picking his own fruit.”
Maddox smiled and burped. “Tha’s the one you gay me,” he said. “It was yummy. Got any mo?” He slid sideways, but Jiya caught him before he fell off the chair.
“This is not the fruit I gave him,” Aaront said. “See the blossom end? The pink—”
Jiya cut him off. “Is he going to be okay?”
“The chemical compound is basically hard alcohol,” Aaront said. “I’m not a doctor, but he’ll probably sleep it off, and have a hangover when he wakes.”
“I’m going to take him to Pod-doc and get him sobered up,” Jiya said. “There was another of those fruits here somewhere—” She looked around the tent.
“Got it,” Aaront said. He hefted the fruit thoughtfully. “This isn’t the dulchee I left here, but it’s exactly where I left the other. I brought in all three varieties and left the two safe ones right here, but both of these are the intoxicant variety.”
“Do you think someone switched the fruit?” Jiya asked. “Why would anyone want to get Maddox drunk? He’s the glue holding this camp together. We need him sober.”
Aaront shook his head. “I don’t know, but I’d better—”
“What is that?” Jiya interrupted him again. She stared at the computer screen, clicking on the views from the different pucks now circling overhead. “Aaront, come look at this. What are those?”
Ka’nak burst into the tent. “What kind of friends are you? I take a crew for recon, and you have a party without me?”
“What are you talking about?” Jiya asked, still staring at the screen.
“Listen,” Aaront said.
“Shit.” Jiya shoved past Ka’nak and ran out of the tent. The entire camp seemed to have erupted into a massive, drunken brawl. Jiya closed her eyes. “What in the holy rat-fuck is going on?”
Chapter Twenty-Six
They raced into the mess tent, dodging drunken revelers. A few sober crew members stood by, staring in bemusement at their colleagues. Jiya rounded them up as they swept through.
“Someone has spiked the punch,” she told them. “You three—take all the food and dump it into the Melliferi hoppers. No more native foods. Ka’nak, take the rest of them and round up all the drunks. Secure their weapons. We don’t need any accidents. I want them confined to a single location until we can get them sober. Go!”
She turned to Aaront. “Get into the kitchen and supervise. Your fruit is the root of this problem.”
“I’m not sure we can definitively assign causality—“ he began, but Jiya cut him off with a glare. “Yes, ma’am,” he finished, slinking away.
She watched for a few moments to make sure her instructions were followed, then headed back to the command tent. Maddox lay in a heap on the floor, snoring. She straightened him out so he wouldn’t get a kink in his neck and threw a blanket over him. Then she pulled up the surveillance video. She zipped backward, then slowed the replay
“Gotcha,” she muttered, zooming in on a section of the screen. Reynolds, she called.
We’ve got a situation. Is this important?
Yeah, Jiya replied. Maddox is temporarily out of commission. Those sentient locals we identified? They are either planning to attack or have a sick sense of humor. A bunch of them slipped some alcoholic fruit into the salsa.
What do they look like? Reynolds replied. We think one might have snuck aboard while we were dirtside.
Don’t have a good description. It’s that damn natural cloaking again, Jiya said. There’s got to be a common element in this galaxy that creates the effect. I can see movement onscreen but can’t tell exactly what they are.
Same here, Reynolds replied. We’re almost there. I’ll report back when we capture this fucker. Reynolds out.
Jiya jogged out of the tent, Maddox’s sidearm secured in her belt. He’d probably sleep it off, but she didn’t want to take any chances. When she returned to the mess tent, the majority of the crew had been rounded up. Many of them were passed out on the ground, but a few still laughed, argued, or sang.
Ka’nak pulled apart a couple getting busy in the corner. “He works for you,” he said to the woman. She giggled. “Don’t do something you’ll regret later.” The male burped and passed out while the female latched onto Ka’nak’s arm. “Maybe some other time,” he said, depositing her on a bench. Similar scenes played out around the tent.
“Your sentient locals were messing with the food production,” Jiya said.
“They did this on purpose?” Ka’nak asked.
She smirked. “I’ve launched a few more pucks. There don’t appear to be any masses of enemies at our gates, but we need more patrols. They’ve got some cloaking ability, but it’
s not perfect. Watch for wavering and movement.”
“On it,” Ka’nak said.
Jiya conscripted a couple of sober crew members and made a circuit of the perimeter, watching for intruders. The frond-y trees around their clearing waved and shivered. The rustling made Jiya uneasy, but she wasn’t sure why. As they neared the edge of the camp, something dropped in front of her. Light flickered off roughly woven strands that moved and flexed in and out of her vision. She whipped her blaster around, aiming at the disturbance. Hold fire unless they advance, she told her team. Spread out. Aloud, she called, “Stop! Show yourself.”
The disturbance wavered but didn’t move away. “Who’s there?” she asked. “Don’t come any closer. I will blast you.” She turned and turned a nearby rock into gravel to demonstrate her weapon’s capabilities. The wavering disturbance retreated across the clearing, chittering loudly. Apparently, the message had been received. “Tell your friends,” she snarled.
Comm, can you do something with the translation? she called to the ship.
I’m working on it, Comm replied. These new languages take time. Get as much speech as you can.
Will do, she answered. She jerked the blaster at the disturbance again. “Talk to me. Who are you, and what do you want?”
The noise continued for a few minutes, then, with an almost audible click, the sound turned to words. “…children don’t always do what you want—”
“Who are you?” she demanded. “Why did you poison my crew?”
“Ah, your translator is working now! Good. I am Flower of the Viank,” the wavering said. “I am the leader of these people. I apologize for the inconvenience.”
“Inconvenience?” Jiya exploded. She loosened her death grip on her blaster and drew a deep breath. She didn’t want to tell a potentially hostile alien that her crew was incapacitated. “You tried to poison my crew. That’s not an inconvenience. That’s an attack.”
“We had no intention of attacking,” Flower said. “Unfortunately, some of the younger members of our community like to eat the liquor plum. They also like to—” The voice paused, and the creatures whispered together, “They like to share the joy. They think it’s funny to slip liquor plums to unsuspecting elders. We’re wise to them now, but you presented an untapped market, so to speak.”
Jiya rubbed her temple. “You’re saying this was a joke?”
“Partly a joke, and partly a desire to spread the fun,” Flower said. “I humbly apologize again. What can we do to help?”
“You can take your hooligans home,” Jiya snarled, feeling old as she said it. Not long ago, she might have joined the party. Being first officer on the Reynolds had been rewarding, but sometimes she wished for the easier days when blowing off steam with her friends was acceptable.
“We have already done so,” Flower replied. “The effects of the liquor plum are strong, but not long-lasting, at least not for us. I don’t know how it will affect you, of course. We have a camp beyond the hill. We will return there. Please, come visit us when you have completed your ministrations.”
“I will do that,” Jiya said, watching the disturbances disappear. “After I complete my ministrations,” she muttered. “Fucking alien fraternity brothers.”
Reynolds, Geroux, Takal, and Asya pounded through the empty corridors of the Reynolds, closing in on the maintenance locker room. Doors and hatches opened and closed for them as Comm led them deeper into the ship. When they reached the last hatch, Reynolds held up a hand.
“Takal and Asya, take that side, Geroux, you’re with me.” He stood to the side of the hatch, back against the wall. “Ready?”
The others nodded.
“Pop it, Comm,” Reynolds said.
The hatch popped inward, and Reynolds shoved it with a boot, following the door into the room. “There!” he cried, aiming his weapon at a wavering disturbance in the corner. “Show yourself!”
A loud snore grated against their ears. “Is it asleep?” Geroux asked.
Reynolds snagged a cleaning cloth from the nearest locker and tossed it at the disturbance. It settled over the creature, moving slowly up and down with its loud breathing.
“Can you do something about the visual, Takal?” Reynolds asked. “We can’t deal with these things if we can’t see them.”
“Working,” Takal and Geroux replied in unison. Takal scanned the creature while Geroux tapped at her computer.
Asya circled around to the side, checking the rest of the compartment. “That’s the only one, as far as I can tell.”
“We’ve isolated a component in their hair and skin,” Takal said. “It appears to be the same element we found on Lanteral and Jeranth, but it occurs in a different form in this creature.”
Geroux fiddled with her wrist comp, comparing data with her uncle. “We had this almost cracked after analyzing the fuzzy viper. Try this.” She pushed an update to them.
Reynolds installed the code into his helmet. When he flicked the towel off the alien, he could see a thin, monkey-like creature. All four long, slender limbs ended in hands. Its fur was short and silky, and it wore no clothing. “Excellent work, team,” he said.
“It’s a wavelength issue,” Geroux started.
Reynolds held up a hand. “I don’t need to know how you did it,” he said. “Send the update to the team on the planet.” He pulled some zip ties from a workbench and bound the creature. “Let’s get this to Athena.”
Handing her blaster to Reynolds in case the creature woke, Asya grabbed it and hoisted it over her shoulder. “This alien weighs almost nothing.”
“Based on the opposable thumbs on all four limbs,” Takal said, “I’d guess these creatures live in the trees. Low body mass would evolve naturally.”
“Can we adapt that wavelength technology to scan the ship for more of these?” Reynolds asked.
“Already sent the code to Comm,” Geroux said. “He didn’t find any others.”
“We’ll scan again from Athena,” Reynolds said, popping the airlock at the external hatch. “A body-heat scan would be a good second check. We’d better scan both ships. If this creature could get aboard Reynolds undetected, it could have moved to Athena while we unloaded.”
“I’ll send the code to her as well,” Geroux said, her smile fading.
When the external hatch cycled open, Reynolds gestured for Takal and Asya to lead the way through the boarding tube. Before Geroux could follow, he grabbed her arm. “What are you not telling me about Athena? It’s clear you don’t like her.”
Geroux shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter if I like her, does it? But I definitely don’t trust her. I know you don’t think she’s trying to separate you from the rest of us, but I’m not so sure. And there’s something else. I didn’t like the way Athi talked about leaving her. Something strange is going on there.”
“Athi obviously had some mommy issues,” Reynolds said.
“Yeah, but Athi was a copy of Athena,” Geroux said. “If Athi had issues, mommy or otherwise, she got them from Athena.”
Reynolds drummed his fingers on the hatch. He knew his personalities had inherited idiosyncrasies from him, but he hoped none of them were full-blown “issues.” Finally, he shrugged. “We all have quirks. Let’s just get on with Operation Freeza. The sooner we start, the sooner we finish so we can go home.”
“Ah!” Jiya said. “This vision upgrade is amazing! Did you know that tree over there has flowers on it?” She pointed across the clearing. “Pink and blue!”
“That’s incredible!” Ka’nak said. “The grass is iridescent!”
“Yay, pretty plants,” Maddox muttered, holding his head.
“You should have taken a turn in the Pod-doc,” Jiya said, elbowing Maddox.
He winced. “Too long a line.”
“You could have cut,” Ka’nak said. “Mission priority.”
“I’ll be fine,” the general said, guzzling water from his canteen. “Besides, I deserve a hangover. Can’t believe I fell for the oldes
t trick in the book.”
“Invisible aliens slipping you a mickey is the oldest trick in the book?” Ka’nak asked.
“Come on, let’s go visit our mischievous planet brothers,” Jiya said, trying not to laugh. “Now that we can see them.”
They hiked around the single hill poking up in the middle of the wide valley. “Is that a volcano?” Jiya asked.
Ka’nak rolled his eyes. “How would I know? Do I look like Takal?”
“Based on the age of the planet, and the shape of that hill, it’s highly likely these are the remnants of a glacier, not a volcano,” Maddox said.
Ka’nak and Jiya stopped to stare at him. “How do you know that?” Jiya asked.
“You learn a lot of weird things on the way to general,” Maddox said, trudging onward. “Plus, my sister taught geology to ten-year-olds.”
They rounded the hill and came into a copse of trees. Spongy green plants covered the ground, and the frond-y trees grew in thick, intertwined clumps. A path had been worn through the groundcover. The detritus Ka’nak had noted on his recon earlier in the day lay scattered about. A whistle brought their heads up.
“They’re in the trees,” Ka’nak said in disgust. “How did we not notice that before?”
“You couldn’t see them before,” Jiya consoled him. “We’re lucky they aren’t hostile. They could have wiped us out without even trying.”
One of the aliens waved, then a vine dropped to the ground. The alien slid down the vine and dropped lightly to the springy turf. She had long, slim arms and legs, with hands rather than feet. Her torso was covered in a sparkly woven sarong. Short gray fur covered her limbs and face. “Greetings, aliens,” Flower said.
“Greetings,” Jiya responded. “I am Jiya Lemaire of the Superdreadnought Reynolds. This is Maddox and Ka’nak. We come in peace.”
Flower smirked. “Every alien story starts with those words. Never works out well.”
Jiya blinked. “Your culture has alien stories?”
