“I know.” He rested his hands on hers. He felt a distinct longing tugging at his soul, like he could run naked out the cabin’s back door and jump into the snow and take off on four feet.
Except he wasn’t a shifter.
With the shock of the revelations finally starting to wear off a little, he was increasingly left with a sense of longing and wonder that maybe there were things about his life he needed to look at from a different perspective.
“What are you thinking about so hard?”
He sighed. “Bebe acts like a little wolf. She howls. She runs around in her costume. What if there’s more to it than that? What if she’s really a wolf shifter? Badger said you can’t tell if someone’s a shifter until they do it for the first time.”
“That’d be amazing.”
“No, because then we have to tell Lu’ana and Reggie. And what if she does it while she’s with just the two of them? They’ll freak out.” The part of this entire revelation he hated was knowing how much he’d been lied to, how much had been concealed from him, ever since Nami met Beck.
Not that he didn’t love his brother-in-law—he did. He could see how happy Nami was since meeting Beck. He could also see how happy Malyah was with Joaquin.
Yeah, he even loved Badger and Duncan as adopted…whatevers. Fathers, grandfathers, it was all confusing. Peyton and Trent seemed like great guys, and both Gillian and Asia were wonderful, too.
He was already going to be an uncle—again—and he had no fricking clue how to be a husband.
Brianna nibbled on the nape of his neck. “You’re thinking loud thoughts, mate.”
“Sorry,” he muttered.
Brianna circled him, standing in front of him, with her arms draped around his neck. That meant his hands naturally wanted to settle on the sweet, rounded curves of her gorgeous ass.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Obviously, something is.”
“Are you doin’ me a favor by not readin’ my mind about it?” That was something they could do, when they were within close proximity to each other.
She nuzzled her nose against his. “This is a lot to take in. It’s all right to feel so…conflicted.”
“I want my trust back,” he muttered before realizing he’d even said it.
“Your trust?”
“Yeah.” He stared into her beautiful green eyes. Her skin was naturally a deeply tanned color and not nearly as dark as his. “They all lied to me.”
“But you understand why, don’t you? It was to protect you and your siblings. It wasn’t…malicious.” While her English was flawless, Spanish was her first language, and she bore a slight accent, as did her older brother, Mateo. Compared to Joaquin, who only had the barest traces of an accent.
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” He deeply inhaled her scent and her light, sweet floral scent washed through him, soothing him. He sighed. “I do know. I’m just…”
“Stubborn?” The corner of her mouth quirked in a smile. “Nami said you are.”
“She’s one to talk.”
Her smile faded. “They love you.”
“I know. And I love them.” His gaze drifted over her shoulder and out the window again. “How much more don’t I know? What else they hidin’ from me?”
“There will always be secrets the pack Alpha keeps from—”
“I don’t mean that.”
“Do you not trust them at all?”
“No. Yes. I mean, I do, I just…” He couldn’t explain it, even to her.
Didn’t help that they were both naked and his cock was very interested in the fact that her body was pressed against his.
He met her gaze. “How’d you feel when Mateo and Carl came out to you?”
She smirked. “As gay, or as wolves?”
“Both.”
“Oh, I’d already guessed they were gay. That didn’t bother me. I understood why they kept it from me. They were worried what could happen to me if their secret got out.”
“And the wolf stuff?” Mateo couldn’t shift, either, but Carl could.
Her smile faded. “I was sad, more than anything.”
“Sad?”
“Yes. That Mateo and I can’t shift. That our parents didn’t meet Carl.”
“They’d been okay with him?”
“Yes. Carl and Mateo have a mate bond, just like we do. That is sacrosanct. In their case, they both felt it and knew what it was. Tamsin’s situation is…unique. Most of the time, with shifters, if there is a mate bond, it is not questioned. Just like you felt it, only you didn’t know what it was. I am also very sad that my father never got to meet everyone in this pack. That our mother never got to have so many extended sisters and brothers. That Aunt Eleana died working so hard to raise me.”
Da’von took another deep breath, held it for a moment, and blew it out again. “I should consider myself lucky, shouldn’t I?”
“I’m not going to tell you what to think.” She wiggled against him again and it nearly wiped out his ability to form worlds. He kissed her, his hands cupping her ass as he ground against her.
This was perfection. He couldn’t have dreamed a more perfect woman for himself. Losing himself in kissing her was preferable to letting his mind roam down dark and deserted alleyways that couldn’t lead to anything good.
Peyton had offered to talk with him privately, to work with him to help him through this.
Meaning using his Prime powers to help settle his mind. At first, Da’von had rebelled against that option.
Maybe I should take him up on that. He was experiencing wild mood swings he wasn’t used to.
Brianna kissed him as she gently nudged him back toward the bed. “I think I can distract you, mate,” she thought to him through their mate bond.
It was definitely a distraction he could live with. He fell back onto their bed, pulling her with him and making her giggle as she landed on top of him.
This is the rest of my life.
Then again, all things considered…it wasn’t such a bad life to have.
* * * *
With her hands braced on Da’von’s chest, Brianna stared down into his brown eyes. “Love you.”
His smile beamed up at her. “Love you, too, boo.”
That she could feel. Along with his confused, unsettled thoughts. Not nearly as much today as in previous days. With the wedding finally out of the way, she felt he was finding the time to breathe and accept their relationship.
And all the other…stuff.
She leaned in to kiss him again, losing herself to her mate, giving thanks to the Goddess for leading her brother’s life in such a direction as to put her here, in this place, and at this time.
There could be no explanation for this perfection other than divine intervention.
His hand cupped the back of her neck and slipped up into her hair, fingers threading through her tresses and gently fisting to hold her in place. With his lips slanted over hers, he deepened their kisses, sweetly insistent as his tongue slowly played over hers.
Part of her wanted to start working on expanding their family immediately, except that wasn’t practical for a lot of reasons. The first two being that both she and Da’von needed to finish college. The second being that she’d agreed to help care for Tamsin while the widowed and grieving corgi shifter lived with the Targhee Pack.
That was a responsibility she didn’t take lightly.
Then there was the fact that both Nami and Dewi were going to be having pups in a few months. She wanted to be available to help out as a babysitter, especially since Nami wanted to return to college. And there was little Bebe, too. If she did turn out to be a shifter, she’d need understanding babysitters while her parents worked.
People who could help her and teach her.
People who could instill in her the necessity for secrecy about that part of her life.
Once they told Brianna the truth about their shifter heritage, Carl and Mateo had always promised that, one day, they’d find a pack for the t
hree of them to join.
They’d kept that promise, absolutely.
Brianna had always wanted a big family of her own. Besides missing her brother and Carl, one of the things she’d hated about being away at college was being alone. She’d been wary of making close friends, or telling people much about herself, because Carl and Mateo had warned her they didn’t know if the Seguras would place people at the university to watch her. They’d been careful not to tell anyone what school she attended, and as far she knew, she hadn’t let anything slip to anyone.
Another reason she’d rarely dated anyone. Trust was difficult.
Between them, she felt Da’von’s cock rubbing against her and she spread her legs a little, wiggling her hips until she got the angle right and could easily slide him completely inside her with a contented sigh that he echoed.
“Damn, girl,” he happily muttered, more in his mind than aloud. He was still getting the hang of talking to her through their mate bond.
Now she could take her time. With his undivided attention fully focused on her, she slowly rode him as they kissed, and his hands roamed her body.
She also understood even better why the few times she had tried to date she just didn’t feel it. Compared to the love and passion filling her soul for Da’von, those distractions had been like taking a first cousin to a dance.
As their passion and tension built within her, she sensed he was getting closer.
Until he caught her off-guard and flipped her over under him.
He smiled down at her. “Got you now, baby.”
Her heart fluttered, her soul undone for him.
All for him.
She got to spend the rest of her life with him.
Maybe this perfection was the Goddess’ way of repaying her for the years of loneliness and grief she’d lived through.
If so…it wouldn’t bring her family back, but at least she had a new one to lean on now.
Her brother and brother-in-law were happy.
Her mate was happy.
Da’von nuzzled her head to the side and nipped her neck, down at the junction with her shoulder, making jolts of need bounce through her core.
Whining and squirming against him, she tried to urge him for more, but he sensed that and chuckled. “What’s wrong, baby?”
“I need you.”
He took a hard thrust inside her and grazed his teeth along her flesh. “Like that?”
“Uh-huh!”
Now that he realized what she wanted, he gave it to her.
And gave it to her.
Until she was out of her mind with need and begging him to let her come.
He finally picked up the pace, building her up again—and then she was there. As her orgasm broke free, he kissed her again, speeding up to finish with her, until they both fell still while sweetly kissing.
Perfection.
He lightly sucked on her bottom lip. “This baby shower today’s gonna be too damn long.”
“What? Why do you say that?”
He nuzzled the hollow of her throat and kissed her there. “Because it’s taking me out of bed, when I want to do nothing but lie here all day with you.”
She caught his face in her hands, cupping it, staring into his eyes. “Love you, mate.”
That won her another smile, and a kiss. “Love you, too, baby girl.”
Chapter Seven
Joaquin played with Malyah’s hair, where strands had escaped from the satin scarf she’d worn wrapped around it to sleep in last night. Playing with her hair, or tracing her fingers with his, was one of his favorite pastimes that didn’t involve sex.
Although, if he had his way, doing so frequently led to them having sex. “How long until Nami is bugging you about when we’re going to start having babies?”
Malyah currently lay snuggled against Joaquin in their bed, with her head resting in the crook of his shoulder and one leg draped over his. They’d awakened at dawn and made love. Now he was ready to fall asleep again, except there were things to do today, including Nami’s surprise baby shower and the New Year’s Eve party that night.
“I don’t know,” she said. “She’s got Da’von and Brianna to divide her time between. And Carl and Mateo, since they’re now officially family, too. Don’t forget Dewi. You know she’s gonna mother the hell out of that girl. Poor Ken will probably need Nami’s help.”
Joaquin chuckled, feeling only slightly evil about his amusement. “Yeah.”
Malyah playfully poked him in the chest. “Don’t be like that.”
“Like what?” He laughed. “Dewi will want to return to work as quickly as possible, and I don’t fault or blame her for that. That means Ken will need all the help he can get.”
“That wasn’t all you were laughin’ about.”
He snorted. “I just think it’s amusing the Goddess made Beck, a man who, for years wanted to skin me, my brother-in-law. Just turned out it wasn’t because of his sister.”
“Does it make me horrible that I don’t want to have kids right now?” she softly asked.
“No!” He rolled onto his side, propped on his elbow. “Love, I told you, that decision’s yours.”
“But you want kids.”
“I want you to be happy. You are right that there’s a lot going on in our lives at this moment. Later would be better. Should you change your mind, I’ll still be happy.” His smile faded. “Honestly? I’m nervous about becoming a dad. I think I’ll need more time to wrap my head around that. What I saw in Mexico…” He shuddered.
He’d never be able to erase that horrible mental image, of finding the body of Felicia Escobar. She’d been only fifteen when Raul Segura kidnapped, raped, and murdered her.
Then the additional horror of having to return her to her family and breaking the news to them.
Joaquin taking revenge on Raul had been the event that led to Joaquin running to escape the drug cartel’s pursuit, and him returning to the US, where he met Malyah.
If at any time one thing had happened differently, he wouldn’t have this perfection in his life now.
Okay, yes, he’d readily trade his happiness for Felicia Escobar being alive and well and happy with her family. He wasn’t a heartless bastard.
And it would mean he wouldn’t have the indelible image of her ravaged body burned into his memory.
But he was an Enforcer. While more used to taking lives—lives of those who deserved taking—sometimes settling justice for packmates was part of his job.
At least he wasn’t in Mexico any longer. He was now permanently back in the States and working out of Tampa. He could see his parents more often now, too. They now lived up in Vancouver, Canada, where they ran a small chain of coffeeshops.
Being sent to work in Mexico had sort of been a punishment for him being an asshole to Dewi and hitting on her. Which, yes, in retrospect had been a juvenile thing to do, because she’d been dating Beck, at the time.
And she was his boss.
And Beck’s younger sister was Joaquin’s ex.
Which was why he’d deliberately poked at Beck and Dewi.
Now, it all felt juvenile and petty. Fortunately, Beck and Dewi had both accepted his belated apology for the incident.
“I should get up and shower,” Malyah said, sounding like she wanted to do anything but. “Sis’ll be up and wanting help makin’ breakfast for everyone.” Meaning Nami, he knew. The three younger Drexler siblings treated their eldest sister more like their mother than their sister. Which was natural, considering how she’d raised them.
Now that Nami didn’t seriously want to murder him anymore for mating with Malyah, he loved her, too, although as a sister.
Today, Nami was getting a surprise baby shower right after breakfast. A family breakfast was the easiest excuse to gather everyone together in one place without raising her suspicions.
“Yes, we should get up.” He tightened his grip around her with his arm and kissed her again. “We really should.” He nuzzled her neck.<
br />
She poked him again. “You’re gonna make us late and get us in trouble.”
“I like being in trouble with you,” he mumbled against her flesh.
Another poke, and before he realized it, they were trying to tickle each other. Her laughter ringing in his ears always helped lighten his soul.
She made him feel like a better man. Turns out that wasn’t just some stupid greeting-card cliché.
She really did.
Joaquin had seriously grown up a lot since his days as a wild wolf chasing tail. At thirty-nine, he was still young for a wolf, but had seen and been through plenty to give him perspective. His parents had moved them from Colombia to the Targhee Pack compound in Idaho when he was only four years old. Cartel violence had scared his parents and they’d taken the Targhee Pack up on their offer to help with relocation.
She finally sat up and rolled on top of him. “Shower. Now.” She brushed a kiss across his lips and bolted from the bed, nearly triggering his prey drive before he caught himself.
Malyah wasn’t a shifter. He couldn’t simply chase and roll her tumbling across the floor like he could with a shifting packmate.
With a sigh, he climbed out of bed and followed her to the bathroom, where she was rewrapping her hair in a shower cap to keep it dry. “You, my dear love, are dreadfully responsible,” he teased, nipping the nape of her neck in passing on his way to start the shower.
She giggled, catching his gaze in the mirror. “One of us has to be, mister.”
* * * *
Malyah could see Joaquin’s brown eyes looking even darker as he struggled against the desire to drag her back to bed. That was one of the things she loved about him, that she could make him nearly lose control like that.
That his thoughts were solely about her, in that way.
That she had absolutely no doubts about his love and desire for her.
His hunger for her.
One day…yes, she did want children.
Geek-Speak (Bleacke Shifters Book 6) Page 6
