I drop my arms and resort to the only thing I know how to do in this new world: I run.
Chapter Seven
Someone is calling after me, but his voice quickly grows faint. As I run down the street toward the unoccupied woods that surround Darkhaven, the trees begin to blur at my sides, yet the world remains clear before me. As my feet pound against the hard-packed ground, my legs never grow tired. Wary of my strength, I come to an abrupt stop and fall to my knees.
“What have I become?” I say aloud, burying my face in my palms.
“Ava?” a voice says. Footsteps approach from behind.
I jump to my feet and spin around. The vampires approach me with caution.
We are in a small clearing. The forest that surrounds Darkhaven often protects me from prying eyes while patrolling. I find comfort in seclusion. I know these woods in the dead of night. I know the trails to find home, the berries that grow in the bushes, and the hidden cemetery where my coven buries our loved ones. These woods are part of my life, my family. I’m sickened to think of vampires using the earth as their hunting ground.
“Everything will be okay. You’re reckless because of the hunger,” Jasik says.
His words are soothing. I am angry, confused, but as soon as he speaks, I calm. His reassurance is all it takes to make me feel some semblance of peace, even when only moments before a storm raged within me. The thought of him having power over me leaves me sick. I refuse to believe he has such sway over my irrational emotions.
I shake my head. “How can I be okay? I don’t even know what I am anymore.”
“We’ll find something to eat,” he says.
His words and confidence annoy me. How is it that the undead thing before me is so optimistic?
“I’ll go with Hikari and Jeremiah. You’ll be all right?” Malik asks.
Jasik nods without breaking eye contact, and when the others finally leave, I blurt out the question I’ve been itching to ask.
“Why did you save me?” The question sounds stupid as it leaves my lips. His answer should be simple, right? He saved me because I begged him to. But I’m not so sure that was his only motive. I’m sure it’s a complicated answer, because there are too many parts. And it isn’t my only question for him.
Why were they there the night of our ritual?
Did they know what was going to happen that night?
How did they rescue my coven in time?
Why did they even try to save us?
Was this the first time they were so close to my home?
I have so many questions, and I don’t know where to begin.
“Why did you help us?” I press on.
“We were hunting the rogue vampires that attacked your coven. We wouldn’t have stepped in, but we could see you were outnumbered. You were already injured. The scent of blood was heavy in the air. If the rogue vampires weren’t stopped, they would have gone on to decimate the village. We had to stop them.”
As he speaks, his eyes grow distant. I can’t understand why talking about the other vampires affects him as much as it seems to, and I hate that I even care that it bothers him. I don’t understand the connection that now ties us together.
But more so, I hate me. I hate my decision to become a vampire. I hate my fear of dying. I hate that I didn’t trust my coven to save me after the attack. I should have trusted in our combined power to heal my wounds.
Most importantly, I hate that I don’t really hate the vampire before me. I’m not afraid of him because, deep down, I know he doesn’t want to hurt me. If he did, he wouldn’t have saved me. I want to despise everything he is, but I can’t. Has transitioning into a vampire changed more of me than just the superficial stuff?
“If we arrived even one minute later, we wouldn’t have been able to save you,” he whispers.
“Do you make a habit of hunting your own kind?” I ask. It’s a serious question, but I can’t help my mocking tone.
“Yes,” he says plainly.
I arch a brow in response and wait for him to continue.
“Just like any species, we have some…problems. Vampires who indulge in a risky lifestyle must be eliminated. We fear exposure as much as witches do.”
“I guess I never thought of that. Every time I’ve patrolled, I’ve encountered vampires who were hunting. I’ve never met a vampire like you.”
“Well, you should know that I do feed. All vampires do. But I don’t make a point to murder countless humans in the name of boredom. We have rules in place for purely selfish reasons. Vampires can never outnumber humans. And our survival depends on their ignorance.”
I nod. “I suppose it does.”
“Witches are no different. Look what happened the last time humans thought they encountered witches. Your ancestors are still suffering from those trials.”
I realize now I’ve never actually thanked him for saving us. He might have been forced to turn me, but because he and his friends helped us, the other witches are okay. I fear that’s a debt I can never repay.
“Listen, this isn’t easy for me, but—” I exhale sharply. “Thank you for saving my family and for killing the rogue vampires.”
He clears his throat. “We didn’t exactly eliminate the threat.”
“What do you mean? You killed them all, didn’t you?”
A gnawing in the pit of my gut is telling me I missed something; it’s an instinctual predatory reaction I honed the moment I witnessed the death of my father. I learned to kill or be killed.
I think back to the fight. I passed out before it ended. I saw some vampires die, but what happened to the vampire who bit me, the one who threatened Liv and me in the cemetery the night before the ritual? Is he dead? Will he come back? Mamá doesn’t know the whole story. She won’t be prepared for another battle.
“We killed all but a few,” Jasik says, confirming my suspicions.
My world comes crashing down as the realization hits me hard. The vampire who stole my life from me—the vampire who forced me to become what I am—still walks, still lives, still breathes. Jasik doesn’t need to confirm this. Somehow, I just know he’s still out there somewhere.
Anger boils within me as an acidic slop rises in my chest. I force it down in a quick gulp. The thought makes me sick, furious. He should be dead. Everyone who had any part in the attack should have perished beside the fallen members of my coven. I will make him pay for what he did. There will be a time for vengeance, but unfortunately, that time isn’t now.
I relax my body, shaking away the anger, the nerves, the tightness. I close my eyes and focus on my breath. Inhaling through my nose, exhaling through my mouth, I picture the world around me.
The moon has reached its peak, and as it slowly sets, the sun will soon rise. I focus on her, on Mother Nature, on her power—the power that is nestled in all her children.
As a spirit user, I had a small affinity for all magic because spirit is everywhere, in everything, but I never perfected my skill of using the other elements for long periods of time. I was good for a blast of fire here and there, but that was about it. I reach within myself, tugging the new part of me that contains my heightened vampire senses and pull it toward the part of me that holds on to my past. Maybe, with enough practice, I can blend the two worlds and finally feel safe and strong in my new skin. I need to believe that I didn’t turn. I transitioned into a better, more powerful version of myself.
Sticks crack in the distance, jolting us out of our conversational trance. Jasik spins around, his hand easily maneuvering his blade from its sheath. He steps before me, protectively blocking my body with his own. I step beside him in a defiant move to show him I don’t need his protection. I can protect myself.
Malik stands only a few feet from us, jaw clenched, face hard. His characteristics mirror many of his brother’s features, but it’s clear Malik is older. He has age, a wisdom about him that clearly showcases his no-nonsense attitude.
“We found something,” Malik says.
Its scent reaches my nostrils before its dying whimpers reach my ears. Its blood coats the air, making it heavy like the air after a rainfall. I’ve never desired something so much in my life; knowing how close it is to me now, it’s almost too difficult to breathe.
The vampires lead me to a dying wolf. Its matted gray-and-white hair is stained with blood.
As the smell hits me, a wave of hunger rocks my insides. My stomach lurches as if I haven’t eaten in days, and my tongue dries. My muscles tighten as I rub my dry tongue over my lips. I begin to shake, and as each second passes, it becomes more difficult to control the urge to feed.
My fangs lengthen as I release a small growl. I am no longer in control. The part of me that rises to the surface is more terrifying than the vampires that surround me. I pounce on the wolf. I give in to the need, to the darkness, to everything I prayed I would never become.
Digging my fangs into its body, I drink hard and long. Expecting it to taste no differently than rusty water, I am surprised when the thick substance coating my tongue tastes refreshing. It is sweet with a hint of bitterness, but most importantly, it is delicious. My muscles feel stronger, my senses more alert. I scrunch the wolf’s fur in my hands, pushing my face deeper into its carcass; it ceases to struggle and whimper as it takes its last breath.
Something in the brush moves toward me, and I dart my gaze to meet a pack of wolves emerging from the tree line. A large wolf steps forward and releases a loud growl. It’s challenging me. I have killed a member of its pack, and it is the alpha’s duty to protect its remaining members. But I refuse to forfeit my meal.
I jump to my feet and spring before it. With my foot, I push the carcass farther behind me. I pull my lips up, further exposing my fangs. Streams of blood trickle down my chin, and I release a growl. The alpha meets my gaze and holds it, but I refuse to look away. He challenges me for only a second before the pack begins to slowly back away.
Waiting until they are no longer audible, I relax my strained muscles and sit down beside the dead wolf. I finish the final slurps and lick the drips of blood from my chin.
I’ve forgotten who I am. I’ve killed a living creature, a child of Mother Nature. As a witch, I was raised to love all living things. We never abstained from eating meat, but my coven respected nature and lived peacefully among animals. We learned to give our livestock a peaceful life—and death. What I’ve done is disgraceful.
I stand, looking down at my hands. Chunks of gray matted fur coat my fingers. Holding my hands up for the others to see, I begin to shake, and I look at Jasik. I whimper, my breath coming in short bursts. I don’t know why I look to him, but I need someone, anyone, to tell me what I just did was okay.
He takes the few steps that separate us and wraps his arms around me, digging the fingers of his free hand into my hair. He rests his chin atop my head.
“I promise it will become easier with time.”
I ignore his words. I killed something, and worst of all, I enjoyed it. I want him to tell me it is okay. I want him to make me forget. But I’m not ready to hear that it will become easier to kill an animal or to feed from a person.
Pulling away from him, I wipe my hands on a patch of grass, desperately trying to remove all evidence of my despicable actions. I sniffle as I walk toward the vampires, not looking back at the mess I’ve left behind.
Chapter Eight
I’m running farther away from the life I don’t want to leave and closer to the life I never wanted.
Vampires are all around me. Two lead the way, and a third trails behind. I can feel Malik’s eyes on me, silently judging every decision I make. I can sense he feels strongly about me, but I’m not quite sure what it is he feels. I’m not even sure if he knows how he feels about this situation. After all, how often does Jasik turn humans into vampires? Does he make this regular practice? Or has he just risked his neck to save mine?
Jasik is beside me. Only a few feet of space separate us. His presence is suffocating. Something about him is frustratingly alluring. The moment I fed from him, we bonded. I don’t need him to confirm that what he did for me was some sort of eternal agreement between us. The unspoken contract is like a noose around my neck. I’m not sure how to shake myself from his grasp, but I’m certain I’ll find a way. Thanks to him, I have a lot of time to plan my escape.
We run, and I focus on my surroundings, trying to ignore the vampires. I don’t know what’s more unsettling—their proximity or how easy it is for me to forget about them. The only other times I’ve been this close to vampires, I was fighting for my life. As much as I don’t want to find my sanctuary with them, I don’t have any other options. I can’t allow my blood lust to get the best of me.
My overnight bag hangs heavily across my chest. The strap smacks against my torso as I run, the weight of what little remains in my life almost unbearable. I carry it with little effort, even though I know what’s inside—all the things I can no longer have.
A cross necklace that will burn my skin.
A silver stake doused in witch magic I can no longer access.
A photo album memorializing times in my life I can no longer cherish now that I’ve been forsaken.
Aside from those three items, all that’s left are the material things we all need to survive: a few outfits and toiletry items.
That’s it.
That’s my life.
A sudden thought comes to me. I never said goodbye to Liv. I never even checked on her. Everything happened so fast. She was gone when I woke, and I just assumed I would talk to her after the full moon ritual. It’s just now occurring to me that last night could have been our final goodbye.
What will she think when the rumors spread? She’ll hear about the attack and that I willingly changed and left with the vampires. Like the rest, she’ll hate me.
I swallow the knot that forms in my throat and push on. I have to stay strong. My stomach still aches from hunger, and I’m beginning to shake. I wasted too much of the wolf’s offering. If I don’t feed soon…
A shiver rushes through my body at the thought of feeding, and it both disgusts and excites me. Jasik offers a curious sideways glance. I shake my head, silently telling him not to ask, to let it go. I’m sure he knows the symptoms of starvation, and I need to feed if I want to survive the transition.
And I do, right? I want to survive, to become a vampire, to be reunited with my family.
I don’t know where we’re going, but Jasik said their vampire nest is within Darkhaven’s city limits. Oddly, I find comfort in knowing I’ll still be close to home, but in the same breath, I’m uneasy from the realization that vampires have been calling Darkhaven home all this time. Clearly my patrols weren’t as effective as I thought they were.
The vampires leading our way come to a sudden stop. The surrounding woods that encircle our small village clear, and I come face-to-face with a timeless Victorian-style manor three stories tall, with startling overhangs, sharp edges, and stained-glass windows. The wraparound porch is vacant save for two stone gargoyles on either side of the front walk. The stairs lead to French-style double doors crafted from wood stained so dark they almost match the house’s exterior color. The dark sky is brightening in the distance as the sun begins to rise, and I find myself focusing on the manor’s exterior paint color. Is it dark green? Or perhaps blue. Or maybe it’s a mix, a dark grayish blue.
The rooftop comes to several different points, all abrupt in composition, with a subtle yet striking weather vane as the front focal point. The typical rooster has been replaced with a prominent spear, a death dagger that pierces the sky. I’m not sure if the distraction is intentional, but the feature steals my attention for several breaths. In fact, the entire property is breathtaking. It’s dark and dank, yet the antiquity of it is beautiful. It’s my new home.
It’s not quite what I was expecting when I think vampire nest. I’ll admit, I did
n’t give much thought to the living arrangements when I trusted the vampires to take me to their nest, but considering it now, I’m not sure why I didn’t assume I’d be spending my days holed up in a cave or something. I mean, who would have thought vampires live a life of luxury?
The house is surrounded by a short black wrought-iron fence. Each point of the daggers encompassing the manor ends in two sharp slabs of metal that form tiny crosses. My gaze trails the fence as I cross the threshold into their world. I reach for the metal, and just as my fingertips graze the cross, I’m stopped. Jasik’s hand firmly grasps my own. He doesn’t speak until we make eye contact.
“Don’t,” he says simply.
I nod in understanding and pull away from him. Only a second ago, I was overwhelmed by my new home, but now, all I can think about is the fact that I can no longer touch crosses, and there’s one cross I’d very much like to wear and never remove. It’s all I have left of Papá. I sigh and continue trudging toward the front door while scanning my surroundings.
The grass is overgrown in all the places that border the house and fence, and it’s dead in all the places the trees block sunlight. Weeds run rampant through the yard, leaving splashes of vibrant yellow flowers scattered among the grass. The sight is jarring, so I focus on the cobblestone path that leads to the front door.
“How have I never noticed this house before?” I say.
“No one ventures this far into the woods,” Jasik replies.
He stops my racing thoughts, which run on a never-ending loop. I was so consumed by the property, I didn’t realize I’d spoken aloud. His response makes sense. This property is at the far edge of Darkhaven, which is surrounded by forest on three sides and the sea on another. It’s an old village full of tenth-generation families. The settlers who formed it stayed—and so did their descendants. The architecture mirrors that of seventeenth-century Salem, not nineteenth-century England. That could only mean one thing: vampires settled here long after witches. How did they find our little village and manage to build such a prominent residence under our very noses?
Dark Secret Page 7
