by Wendy Hudson
Eilidh shrugged. “I felt in the mood to spoil you. This was a good idea, by the way.”
He huddled in close to her on the bench for warmth and wolfed a triangle of sandwich in one go. “I have them sometimes, and I knew you were ready for it.”
“Ew, gross.” Egg had flown from his mouth across the table, but he showed no remorse. Instead, he grinned at her with mayonnaise mouth. “You’re disgusting.”
He washed it down with some water and laughed. “Why, thank you.”
They finished the sandwiches in silence, and Eilidh stared along the coast to the distant ruins of Urquhart Castle. It bore down over the loch, close to the shore, glowing in the sun against azure sky. Maybe next time they’d make it that far, but she didn’t want to push her luck today.
“You ready to talk about it.” Sam gave her a nudge and stayed comfortingly close, both hands wrapped around his hot chocolate. He didn’t look at her, instead taking in the view himself.
She knew he was trying to be light about it and there was no pressure to talk, but he was right there beside her if she wanted to.
“I guess. You’re going to think I’m being ridiculous though.”
“Probably, but tell me anyway.”
Eilidh took a sip of her own drink and thought about Darcy. “I guess in the cold light of day and without five beers in my belly, I’m feeling a little less dramatic about the Darcy situation. It’s still getting to me though. Not being able to see her.”
“I get that. It must be frustrating.”
“That’s exactly what it is. As I said last night, I’m not expecting some special place in her life; all I’m asking for is one visit. I know what she said in her text last night, but I still have this need for a real update. I want to see her in the flesh and know that she’s genuinely doing all right.”
“We could check the patient system.”
“Sam.” She slapped his arm, and hot chocolate slopped over his hand. “You know we can’t do that. Not when I know the person and have no medical reason for it.”
“Oi.” He flicked off the sticky liquid and wiped the rest on Eilidh’s sleeve. “Okay, I could check the system. I don’t know her.”
“Stop it.” She threw him a stern look and pulled her arm away. “That’s not how I want to do things.”
“Fine, fine.” He looked unfazed by her scolding.
“Promise me you won’t look up her record.”
“I said fine, didn’t I?”
“Promise.”
He held a hand up. “I solemnly swear.”
“Good. You can have more hot chocolate for that.” She topped up their cups and began tidying everything else away.”
“I guess until she says different, you’re going to have to respect her wishes and give her some space. What else can you do?”
“I know. It’s not the physical stuff I’m so worried about, it’s the psychological. It’s…” She sighed. “I just need to see her face. To look her in the eyes and ask how she is.”
“Have you thought that maybe she doesn’t want you to see her that way?”
“How’d you mean?”
“Well, think about it. You told me what a mess she was. The cuts, the stitches, the broken bones, the bruises. You didn’t even recognise her. Maybe if she wants to date you, she doesn’t want you to see her looking all broken and torn?”
“What? No, that doesn’t make sense. Besides, that’s so superficial, and she must know I’ve already seen her? Anja would have told her I was there.”
“Hmm…true. Then I would remind you what you were like after the accident. Your opposition to visitors.”
“It wasn’t an accident,” she reminded him. “I was attacked.”
“Sorry, of course. I only meant how you struggled with people seeing you so broken. I know you thought it made you look weak, and it made you feel incredibly vulnerable. People only wanted to be there for you, but you couldn’t stand them seeing you that way. It was too much for you.”
She was pensive a moment. Some of what he said was true, but it wasn’t the whole story. She didn’t want to see anyone because she was too busy allowing the guilt to swallow her up. She’d survived, and she couldn’t understand why. Couldn’t figure out who or what it was that had decided between one person’s life and another person’s death.
For so long, she had been ashamed for being the one who lived.
“If I’m honest, it was more about hiding from what had happened. From having to explain to people why I did it and how I ended up in that hospital bed. How it was my own stupid fault for getting involved in the situation and for thinking I could stop it when I should have just ran the same as Claire.”
“Hey, how many fucking times, Grey.” Sam was on his feet. Indignant. “It wasn’t your fault. You did nothing wrong. You can’t honestly believe that still?”
“Calm down.” She tugged at his cuff and pulled him back on to the bench. “I meant that’s how I felt back then. With the rawness of it all. I know better now.”
“Good. Well, maybe Darcy’s just feeling a little bit the same, then? She got in that car smashed and then drove it off the road, putting herself, then you, in danger. She might be afraid that you’ll blame her for that. That you’ll be angry at her or think less of her for making such a reckless decision.”
Eilidh shook her head. “No, that can’t be it. My texts have been nothing but supportive. There’s no reason for her to think I’m mad at her.”
“Still. Even if she isn’t worried about you, you can bet she’s facing a whole load of shite from her family and the police. Remember what it was like for you? All the police interviews and constant questions from every direction. Give her a chance to catch her breath, yeah? I’m sure she’ll be in touch when she’s ready.”
“You’re right. It’s only been a week, and who knows what kind of state she’s in emotionally? I’m being a bit of a selfish brat, aren’t I?”
“Nah. If I’d saved someone from a burning car, I’d be expecting a fucking parade. You’re worried, that’s all.”
Eilidh couldn’t help but laugh. “The visual of you on a parade float has cheered me right up.”
He winked. “Always happy to help.”
“I think I’ll send one last message. Tell her again that I understand but let her know I’m here when she’s ready. To give her a little more reassurance. Then I’ll leave it.”
“I think that’s for the best. You need to stop torturing yourself with other people’s problems, Grey. It’s been less than a month since Claire left—how about you focus on yourself for a while?”
Eilidh gulped back the last of her chocolate. Sam was right, as hard as it was to admit. It had only taken a few hours on the loch, a place she always found solace, to realise she hadn’t been good to herself lately. “One message, then I’ll start worrying about myself.”
“Deal. And what was it you were drunkenly getting all philosophical about last night? About the world conspiring to bring you together again?”
“Hey, no fair. You know the rule. Drunken laments are never to be brought up when sober.”
He threw her a wicked grin. “All I’m saying is, if you believe it was fate that brought you back together, then I’m sure it will again.”
She swiped at the back of his head. “Sarcastic shitebag. Just you wait and see. Darcy and I will meet again.”
Chapter 33
Darcy pulled the blanket to her chin and closed her eyes. She tried to pretend she was actually on her sofa, cosy under the fluffy fleece, fire and TV on low, drifting away to nap land…
A rattling trolley rumbled past her closed door and might as well have crashed right into the daydream. Then the woman in the next room called out for a nurse. Again. It was all Darcy could do not to shout out herself and remind the woman of the handy button they had for just such a
purpose.
She sighed and gave up on the fantasy nap.
Anja had dropped by with a bag full of home comforts, and after seeing what the hospital was offering for dinner, she had quickly been charged with another food run. Darcy suddenly remembered her phone and threw her hands up to praise whoever for the small mercy of a distraction.
There were get-well messages from colleagues and friends that made her smile. In particular from Joe, who had kept a running commentary of gossip coming from the office and even Bridget’s messages were surprisingly warm. There was an actual kiss on the end of one of them. There were thoughts and prayers posted on her timeline from friends far and wide, and as was the Scottish way, plenty of inappropriate GIFs on messenger taking the piss out of the whole ordeal.
Eilidh’s name in the message list stopped her scrolling. The last text from her had been received the night before the accident, a reply to Darcy’s cancellation of their date. She wondered if Eilidh had thought about her since then. It was unlikely given Eilidh hadn’t been back in touch. The ball had been left in Darcy’s court, so maybe it was up to her to restart the conversation.
She looked down at her broken form in the bed and smirked to herself. She was hardly in the position to be dating right now, but it was encouraging that she was thinking about it. Her foul hospital mood hadn’t killed the romantic in her.
Who knew how long the road to recovery would be, and it seemed a shame to cut off all contact. By the time she was able, Eilidh might have long forgotten her, which would be extremely disappointing. There’d been such promise in their exchanges, and Eilidh had definitely, really, without a doubt, existed.
As if by Darcy’s shear will in wondering, a text buzzed through with Eilidh’s name attached. Momentarily stunned, she dropped the phone in her lap before instantly grabbing it again, eager to read the message.
She read and reread, confused by its content. For a moment, she wondered if the text was meant for her.
I know I said last night that I understood, but it makes me want to see you no less. I can’t stop thinking and wondering how you’re doing. Would be good to see your face, if only for a few minutes. Tell me to bugger off if you want. E x
If it was meant for Darcy, it sounded as if Eilidh knew she was in hospital and had been in touch already but told not to visit. But who? And why?
Anja.
She was the only person with access to Darcy’s phone. She would have needed her password to unlock it, but then she must have seen Darcy tap it in a hundred times, and perhaps she’d simply been fielding messages on her behalf. Protective as always; Darcy couldn’t fault her for that. Although maybe she’d gone too far this time? Darcy would speak to her about that later, but right now, Eilidh’s text called for a response.
Would you believe me if I said I was just thinking about you? D x
Darcy stared at the screen, willing a reply. Blue ticks appeared, and the app showed Eilidh was online and typing.
I would be surprised but it makes me happy that you were. How are you? Does your reply mean I can come visit you in the hospital? x
Darcy paused a minute. So Eilidh did know she was in hospital. Was it a good idea for her to visit, and why would she be so keen? It felt a little above and beyond for someone who had met her once.
How do you know I’m in hospital? And I’d say yes, but I look a state and it’s not exactly how I envisaged our first date x
Now I’m confused? How strong are the drugs they’ve got you on? I’m betting you look more alive than a week ago. We can call this an interlude if you want, until you’re feeling up to taking me out on that date x
A week ago? Had Eilidh been to visit already? Why would Anja not tell her that? Bluntness was required because Darcy needed straight answers.
A week ago? You’ve been here already? Eilidh I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s going on? Can you please explain why/when you were here? Questioning my sanity right now x
The blue ticks appeared but then Eilidh disappeared offline.
What the…?
Darcy was about to send another message when the phone began to vibrate and Eilidh’s name appeared on the incoming call. It made Darcy suddenly nervous to talk to her, but the need for answers overrode the butterflies, and she swiped the green circle.
“Hey,” she answered.
“Hey, yourself. I hope you don’t mind me calling?”
Eilidh sounded a little nervous herself which warmed Darcy and made her feel oddly pleased. “No, it’s fine. I’m hoping you can fill me in on what’s been going on?”
“From your message it sounds as if we both need a little of that. What exactly do you remember about the accident?”
“The accident? So you do know about that? And the fact I’m in the hospital?”
There was a moment of quiet, and Darcy was sure she heard Eilidh cuss.
“Erm…yeah. Listen, can I come see you now? I’d rather not do this on the phone.”
“No. I mean, yes. You can come visit, but please, Eilidh. Tell me what’s going on?
She heard Eilidh release a long breath.
“I was there, Darcy. When you crashed. I saw it. I was the one who pulled you out of the car.”
The phone dropped in to Darcy’s lap for a second time. Eilidh had been there? Eilidh had saved her? She was the mysterious woman the staff and Anja claimed to have no knowledge of.
Anja had lied to her face. Why on earth would she keep something so massive from Darcy?
“Hello. Darcy are you there?” Eilidh’s voice rang out from the phone, and Darcy reached for it with a shaking hand.
“I’m here.” Her voice came out in a whisper, and she cleared her throat. It burned with the threat of tears. A mixture of gratitude and anger swelled in her chest. “Eilidh, wow. I don’t know what to say. You saved my life.”
Eilidh chuckled. “Well, you know. I really wanted that date.”
Her joke sucked the anger away in an instant, and Darcy laughed with her. “Idiot.”
“I’ve been told that many times. I mean, surely only an idiot would run towards a burning car?”
Darcy smiled. If that’s how Eilidh wanted to play it, she was happy to oblige. “Clearly. How about we call you a brave idiot?”
“If we must. I’ve made peace with plain idiot though.”
“Not one for praise and plaudits, I assume?”
Eilidh laughed. “Is it that obvious? I much prefer self-deprecating humour and avoid scary thoughts at every opportunity.”
“Okay, I can do that. You should see my face, by the way. It’s a full on Picasso of prime colours.”
“Oh, I’ve seen it. It looked like that Picasso had been torn up and stitched back together with a knitting needle. Yet here I am, still calling.”
“It’s confirmed, then.”
“What is?”
“You’re just a plain idiot.”
“Why, thank you.”
Darcy felt lighter than she had since waking up. A small part of the puzzle had been solved. It gave her hope that she would find the rest of the pieces, which she could one day use to complete the whole picture of what had happened that night. Still, once the laughter calmed, Darcy couldn’t help but ask a question nagging at the back of her mind.
“Why didn’t you tell anyone it was you? Leave your name? Come back to visit? The police wouldn’t disclose any personal information about you, and it’s been torturing me all week not knowing who saved me.”
“That’s why I’m confused. I stayed with you until your family were contacted. Then your best friend showed up—Annie, was it?”
“Anja.” So, she’d met Eilidh and not said a word about it.
“Aye, that was it. She said she was your sister at first which I believed because until then I had no idea who you were; that Picasso face was unrecognisable. When she
said your name was Darcy, it still took me a minute before I realised it was you. Then she confessed she’d lied about the sister thing because she was afraid they wouldn’t let her in otherwise. I gave her my number, asked her to update me, and left. She didn’t tell you any of this?”
“No.” Darcy was back to anger. “She didn’t. I’m sorry about that. I’d have been in touch sooner if I’d known.”
“Hey, I’m sure she had her reasons. She was so scared and upset seeing you all torn up. We’re talking now. That’s what matters.”
“True. She still has some explaining to do though.”
“Maybe you can give me an idea of when that explaining will happen, so I can avoid it?”
Darcy couldn’t help the laugh. “Probably best. I’ll talk to her tonight. Are you free tomorrow?”
“I’m working, but free at lunchtime. Is that all right with you?”
“Perfect. Can I make a cheeky request of my brave idiot?”
“Sure. What can I do?”
“Bring food. Proper food. And real coffee, not the shite they serve in the canteen here.”
Eilidh chuckled. “No problem. So long as it’s not a date, because that would be very sad.”
“Definitely not a date. This is the interlude, remember? Oh, and try not to drop the coffee.”
Eilidh’s laughter rang in her ears, long after she’d hung up.
Chapter 34
Anja returned, arms laden with bags full of heavenly scented food.
“You, my friend, are in for a treat. I stopped by that noodle and sushi bar you love and have one of everything from the wee-plates-of-joy menu.”
Darcy watched as she pulled over the bed tray and started unpacking the small parcels of favourites. Despite the alluring smells and the rumbling of her tummy, Darcy knew she wouldn’t enjoy it until she had some answers.
“Stop that a minute and sit down.”
Anja paused, holding a foil box in mid-air. “What’s up with you? I thought you’d be beside yourself when I showed up with this lot.”
