“Why…?”
“Because once upon a time someone told me to give up my ridiculous dreams and get on a better path. Lucky for me, it worked out. But telling you to do the same was wrong. I’m glad you didn’t listen to me.”
“Beck, are you dying? Because this sounds a lot like cleansing yourself of your supposed sins, and you don’t need to do that with me. Unless you’re dying? Are you sick?”
He laughed and shook his head. “No. I’m healthy as an ox. When I saw you with Graham at the festival, I was a dick.” She opened her mouth to protest, but he held his hand up and said, “Can we just agree to call it what it was? I was jealous. Not that I want you back, or wanted to come between you two or anything like that. It just made me realize that I was wrong.”
“Beckett…?”
“It’s a pretty awful feeling to realize some things are too ingrained to be changed. You were right to walk away from our relationship, and you were right when you said I didn’t trust you. At the time I thought you meant that I didn’t trust you as a girlfriend, but I get it now. You knew I didn’t trust your capabilities as a businessperson, and you were right, because I didn’t see all of you, Morgyn. Not the way Graham does. He sees who you’ve always been and who you were meant to be.”
She thought it was in bad taste to admit he was right, so she kept quiet, feeling a little lighter because of his words.
“When I say his name, your eyes light up, like just the thought of him makes your life better. I’m happy for you, Morgyn. I didn’t want you to leave town thinking of me as a dick, because, well…Okay, maybe you still will. But our friendship is important to me. I can’t change who I am or how I acted, or the things I suggested that were obviously way off base. But I’m man enough to apologize.”
“Beckett, you really don’t need to, but it means the world to me that you did. Thank you. I have no bad feelings about what happened between us. We had fun. We’re just too different on some levels.”
“That’s what makes you such a good person.” He pushed to his feet and said, “You see the good in everyone, and you forgive the not so great parts.”
“Your business beliefs don’t make you not so great; they just make us not so great for each other. But if a floaty girl like me can find a man as amazing as Graham, there’s hope for you yet.” She rose to her feet and hugged him. “Thank you.”
“Listen, if you need anything here while you’re away, I’m your guy. I can keep your deer fed and haul Twyla’s sexy little butt from the flower shop to take care of your herbs and gardens. I’ll even make sure no one messes with that toy house you call a home.” He laughed with the tease as they made their way toward the front of the store. “Want to tell me about those thoughts that are driving you crazy?”
“Thanks, but I’ll figure it out.”
It would probably help to talk about them, but Beckett wasn’t the person she wanted to discuss them with. While Beckett needed to find forgiveness, she needed to figure out if she was making the biggest mistake of her career by going away when it was just taking off—or the best decision of her life by following her heart.
GRAHAM CLOSED HIS laptop and stepped onto his hotel room balcony. It was a humid, sticky night. The kind of night they’d surely experience many times over in Belize, with oppressive heat that sent most people running for air-conditioning. His gaze swept over the city lights, and his mind drifted to Morgyn, as it had done throughout the last two days of meetings. It was a wonder he’d been able to keep up at all.
She’d never prefer air-conditioning to the heat of the evening, and she’d adore the view. But she’d hate the room. He smiled at that. Damn, he missed her. He couldn’t shake his worries about taking her away from everything she was being offered. During dinner with Josh and Knox, Knox had offered to take care of Belize without him. Graham had nearly jumped at the offer, but he knew Morgyn too well. She was meant for helping others, for shining her light on the far reaches of the world.
The trouble was, he didn’t know if she could ever be happy if these business opportunities slipped through her fingers. He’d asked Josh for his advice, knowing Josh had chosen love over business when he’d fallen for Riley. As a world-renowned fashion designer, he was in a whole different world from Morgyn. But he’d had to start somewhere, and he knew the pitfalls of lost opportunities. Josh’s advice had rung true. Fashion is a fickle business. Today’s trends are tomorrow’s has-beens. But true love can stand the test of time and distance.
Graham pulled his phone from his pocket and called Morgyn. He had to give her the chance to jump into business with the buyers with two feet.
She answered on the first ring. “Hey, Cracker Jack. Guess what I’m doing?”
He laughed and sank down to a chair. “Sitting in the moonlight pining for me?”
“Something like that.” The cheerfulness of her greeting waned from her voice. “I am wearing your hat and your favorite T-shirt, and I might be sitting on the roof of your truck.”
“I wish I were there with you. Stargazing?”
“Mm-hm. Life’s greatest answers are written in the stars.”
“What am I hearing in your voice, sunshine? There’s a heaviness to it. What’s making your think so hard?”
“I’m fine,” she said softly. “Just tired. It’s been a crazy couple of days, and it’s catching up to me, that’s all.”
Fine wasn’t in Morgyn’s vocabulary. Fine was reserved for people who didn’t know the meaning of amazing, excited, or floaty. Fine was for people who didn’t see auras or feel energies of those around them. Two weeks ago, he hadn’t been aware of those things, either, but when it came to Morgyn, he felt everything.
“Are you having second thoughts about closing your shop?”
“A little,” she admitted. “But I think that’s natural. It’s a big change.”
Natural or not, it slayed him. “We don’t have to go—”
“Cracker, don’t. We’ve been through this. We’re doing what we are meant to do. By the way, Beckett came to see me at the shop today.”
Even though he knew she wasn’t interested in Beckett, his chest constricted.
“He apologized for telling me I should close my business. He was really thoughtful, and happy for us. He offered to help while we’re away. It was big of him, and I’m glad he did it, even though he didn’t need to. I think he knows that you’re the dream catcher and I’m the girl, and our life is written in the stars.”
“If that’s a metaphor, I’m ten steps behind.”
“It’s a song. ‘Written in the Stars’ by the Girl and the Dreamcatcher. It’s us, our lives.”
“Then why do you sound so down?”
“I’m not down. I’m adjusting. Realigning my thoughts and energies.”
He remembered what she’d said at the airport about feeling more aligned and said, “I have the remedy for being misaligned.” He grinned as he said, “Polly want a cracker?”
Her melodic laughter burst through the phone. “Yes! Polly wants a big cracker. With seconds.”
“Hot miss-you sex coming up.”
“You sure know how to distract a girl.”
“It’s really good to hear your smile, sunshine.”
“Good. Talk dirty to me and you’ll hear more than a smile.”
And just like that, she’d distracted him. “Maybe I ought to get off the balcony.”
“Get off on the balcony?” she said in a husky voice. “Now, that sounds like a plan. Wish I were there to help you with it.”
“Let me call you back.” He ended the call and immediately called her back with FaceTime. Her beautiful face lit up the screen. She was lying on her back, her hair fanned out from beneath his hat. He’d never known the sound of someone’s voice or the sight of a smile could be the calming force he needed. But there were many things he hadn’t known before the universe had guided them into each other’s orbits—like the fact that the universe had the power to bring them together at all.
> Chapter Twenty
EVEN AFTER TALKING with Graham last night, Morgyn had slept fitfully. She’d gotten so tangled up in the sheets she’d rolled off the mattress and plunked onto the floor. She’d crawled back into bed and tried falling back to sleep on his side of the bed, but it smelled so much like him, it made her miss him even more. She lay staring at the ceiling until the first bit of light snuck in through the window, when she figured it was an acceptable hour to go to the barn. But no matter how hard she tried to concentrate, her mind jumped from one thought to the next—Am I making the right decisions for my business? What if the consignment idea fails? Can I start over after Belize? How can I get more involved helping people after Belize?—making it impossible to focus on any one project. She finally decided to take a short walk and try to clear her head.
The sun warmed her as she walked along the railroad ties in her fuzzy slippers, which she hadn’t thought to take off before leaving the barn. She tipped her face up toward the sun and breathed deeply, trying to center her thoughts, which were still fluttering around like uncatchable butterflies. She needed to talk things out, but not with Graham. She’d heard worry in his voice last night, and she didn’t want him thinking she was unsure about going to Belize. Being with him was the only thing she was sure of.
She thought about calling her mother, but her mother had stopped by her shop yesterday, and she’d been so excited about all of Morgyn’s plans, Morgyn wondered if she’d tell her the truth if she thought she was making a mistake with her business. She trusted her parents, but she knew they wanted her to be happy above all else.
They’d brought her up to trust her instincts and her heart.
Morgyn’s instincts told her she needed to talk this out with someone else. She debated calling Sable or Amber. They had their own businesses, but Sable would tell her not to follow any man—ever—and Amber wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying the wrong things. She’d err on the side of caution and would probably tell her to do whatever felt right. Pepper would give her a lecture and would probably leave her more confused than she’d started out, and Grace was gone.
She had to call Brindle.
Brindle might not be the best person to give relationship advice, but she was always honest. Right now Morgyn needed honesty more than anything. Someone to cut through the questions and help sort out the answers.
“Hey, Morg,” her sister said flatly.
“Brin? What’s wrong? Oh crap. Is it the middle of the night there or something? You know I suck at time differences.”
“No. We’re only six hours ahead of you.”
“Good. Are you okay? You sound hungover.”
Brindle sighed. “I’m fine. I stayed up all night talking with Andre.”
“Talking, right. Sorry. I can let you go.”
“No, don’t hang up. We were talking! I was lonely and needed someone to talk to, and he’s going through a lot right now. He’s a doctor, and he’s introspective and deep, and—you’ll love this—he’s an artist, too. If you think I’m dramatic, you should see this guy. You’d love him. He’s all about the universe doing this and that, and he’s also hot as fuck. I’m talking holy smokes hot!”
“Like I said. Talking?”
“I do know how to have a male friend without sleeping with him,” Brindle insisted. “Now, his friend Mathieu is another story. I might have to get drunk on that tall glass of champagne.”
Morgyn laughed and balanced on the rail as she made her way down the tracks, like she did when she was a little girl. A warm breeze tickled her skin, and she had the sense that her grandfather was watching over her.
“But Andre is a great guy,” Brindle said. “He’s really easy to talk to. But he’s still hurting over a breakup that happened ages ago, and he pours all of his devastation into his artwork. I’m trying to help him move past her. I mean, why cry over spilled milk, right?”
There was a hint of sadness in her voice, but before Morgyn could respond, Brindle started talking again.
“His ex is like us. She has no interest in marriage, but she also has no interest in staying in one place. I like Oak Falls. I’m in no hurry to get out of there on a permanent basis.”
“I didn’t think I wanted to, either,” Morgyn admitted. “But now that I’ve traveled farther than a stone’s throw, I realize how small and protected Oak Falls is.” She told Brindle about her trip to Seattle, meeting John and Knox, her ideas for the property there, and about her time in Pleasant Hill with Graham’s family. She didn’t spring the news about Belize or closing her store on her sister. She sensed that Brindle was struggling with something, and Brindle was so protective of her, she didn’t want to give her more to worry about.
“His family sounds great.”
“They are. They harass each other like we do. I love them, and the fashion show was amazing, but I don’t know that I fit into that world in the same way Jilly does.”
“Well, duh. You’re not a fashion-show girl. You make things and believe they have one special person they were meant for and that the universe will somehow unite them.”
Morgyn arrived at the train graveyard, and her spirits lifted. “You know what, you’re right. I do. But the buyers Jilly connected me with are making huge offers for my merchandise. Wouldn’t it make me ungrateful or stupid if I turn some of them down?”
“No. That’s what makes you you, Morg. You’re not like everyone else, and you’re the most grateful person I know. You’re thankful for the sun and the moon and everything pretty and floaty. You’re grateful for what other people take for granted. Now, me, on the other hand. I have serious gratitude issues. But I’m working on that.”
“No, you don’t,” Morgyn said as she made her way through the long grass to the red caboose. “What’s really going on? You can talk to me.”
“I know,” she said softly.
Silence stretched between them, and just when Morgyn was ready to break it, Brindle said, “I’m not coming back at the end of the summer. I need time to figure out my life.”
“What about your job?” Morgyn was beyond shocked. “School starts at the beginning of September. Brindle, don’t put your job in jeopardy.”
“I already handled it. They’re getting a substitute. As long as I’m back by the first of November, my job is safe.”
“Holy crap. November? Brindle, please tell me what’s going on. That’s a really long time.”
“Some things can’t be put off. I need this time away to figure out who I am and who I want to be.”
“Just tell me this. Should I worry? I’m supposed to go to Belize with Graham, but I can cancel and come to Paris.”
“Whoa! Belize? When did this come up? What about your work?”
Morgyn told her about the project in Belize and that even before that opportunity arose, she’d been considering closing her shop and putting her merchandise on consignment. “Helping those people is way more important than my shop, and even though I can make the rent with the increase, as you pointed out the last time we talked, it would mean working a lot more. Am I doing the right thing? Giving up my shop? Selling my stuff on consignment? What if it doesn’t work and I have to start over? What should I do about the offers from the buyers? I want to keep selling my stuff, but I don’t want to become money-driven. I want to help people, but how can I do that if I’m stuck here? And I don’t even fit in Oak Falls anymore, Brin! Do you think I’m crazy? Going to Belize? Do you want me to come to Paris?”
“Whoa, chick. That’s a lot of worries. Do not come to Paris, and you’re not crazy. I think you’re brave. You’re staying true to your heart, and that’s not always easy to do. I hope I can learn to do the same.”
“I wish there were a sign, you know? Something to show me I’m following the right path.”
LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS are for the birds, Graham thought as he paid the cab driver in front of Morgyn’s house at eleven o’clock Friday morning. He threw open the door as the driver retrieved his bags f
rom the trunk. When the cab drove away he called out Morgyn’s name and ran to the front door. Last night had sucked, and Morgyn’s admission about her shop had bothered him all night. He’d tried calling her before he got on his flight—and after he landed—but she wasn’t answering her phone. He’d stopped at her shop, which was closed, and was hoping to catch her before she put any plans into motion.
He flew through the front door and called out, “Morgyn?”
Silence.
Damn it.
He bolted out the front door and around the house. There were new herbs drying in the sun outside the greenhouse, but no sign of Morgyn.
“Sunshine?” he called as he headed for the barn.
He pulled open the doors, and although the tables were in their normal state of chaos, his girl wasn’t there. He headed to the deer garden and called Sable on the way.
“What’s up, jetsetter?” Sable said when she answered.
“Hey. I’m at Sunsh—Morgyn’s—and I can’t find her. Have you seen her?” He cursed under his breath when the deer garden came into view and she wasn’t there, either.
“I thought you weren’t coming back into town until tomorrow night.”
“I wasn’t. But I’m here. Do you know where she is?”
“Uh-oh. Trouble in Lovers Land?”
“No. I just—” He spotted the train tracks. “Never mind. I think I know where she is. Thanks anyway.”
He ended the call and sprinted down the tracks with his heart in his throat. If she was still at the train graveyard, she was probably even more upset that he’d anticipated. When the trains came into view, he sprinted for the caboose.
“Morgyn?” he hollered as he ran, his gut clenching at the sight of the empty deck.
He climbed up and peered inside. Morgyn lay on her stomach on a bench, one leg and one arm hanging off. Her chin rested precariously upright on the edge of the bench. His favorite T-shirt was bunched around her waist, exposing her beautiful butt in a pair of bright yellow underwear with KISS MY ASS written in black across them.
Trails of Love Page 23
