Like with her life. Gulp.
She tossed him the keys. “You’re driving the speed limit and not a mile above it.”
He caught the keys midair. “Hells yeah!”
Joanne strapped into her seat belt and made sure that Hunter did the same. She stuck out her hand. “Give me your phone.”
“Why? It’s in my pocket. Like I’m going to text with you sitting right next to me?” He snorted.
Her hand hadn’t moved from its position. “I’ll make sure you’re not distracted by it buzzing in your pocket.”
He pulled it out of his pants pocket and set it in her hand. “Here. Where’s the trust?”
The fact he’d made such a big deal out of it told her that Matt and Sarah weren’t insisting he do the same. Well, she’d have to address that issue with them at some point. Still, Hunter did drive reasonably well even if she did correct his position, reminding him to keep his hands at ten and two o’clock. Finally, thank you God, they arrived at Matt and Sarah’s residence, and Joanne hopped out of the passenger door and came around the side.
“Thanks, Mom. I did okay, yeah?” Hunter climbed out and immediately put his hand out for his phone.
“You did. I’m very impressed at your speed limit consistency.” She handed his phone over, bussed his cheek and had to stand on tiptoes and stretch to do so.
Once she was seated in the driver’s seat, Hunter leaned in the window. “Sorry I said it was gross for Hud to be kissing you.”
“That’s okay. I understand this is tough for you. And I don’t know what’s going to happen with me and Hud. This is all very new. It’s just that you need to know... I really like him.”
“I like him, too. He’s hella better than Chuck for sure, but I still don’t think you should date him.”
Yeah, she didn’t think it would be that easy. She nodded. “And you have a right to your opinion.”
“Okay, then.” He turned to go. “See ya!”
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” She reached back and handed him the textbook.
He looked sheepish, accepting it. “Thanks.”
“Study hard!”
Joanne started up the car and took off, wondering if Hunter really needed that textbook or if he’d come over to check up on her.
* * *
Here were a few vital facts about Joanne Michelle Brandt:
She loved lists.
She loved order.
Early on, she’d planned how many children she would have: girl, boy, girl. In that order.
College would be somewhere far away, preferably New York City, where she would study fashion design.
She’d wanted to marry Hudson Decker from the moment she laid eyes on him.
And when she was sixteen years old, she blew up her entire life plan.
So much for planning. How did the saying go? Life is what happens when you’re busy making all your plans—or something like that. Joanne did not marry Hudson Decker, she did not go away for college, and she had one child, a boy. So far. And if she ever had any more, she now knew they would not be with a weasel-face, loser, no good, useless man like Chuck Ellis! Good riddance.
Yes, she was finally pissed. Beyond pissed. She didn’t know which stage of grief she’d entered, but the anger that woke with her every morning was palpable. She felt it wrap around her neck and squeeze. She wanted to find Chuck, and—well, she didn’t know what yet, but it was going to hurt him like hell. He was going to pay her back for every last cent she’d spent on the wedding. No, not even his half anymore, because it was his fault the wedding hadn’t happened. That wasn’t unreasonable.
And yet, when she thought that she’d be married to him now if he had shown up—that’s when she got really spooked. She’d almost made the biggest mistake of her life. Because she didn’t want to wind up alone. Now she had Hud again, telling her he wanted to make this thing work between them. He wasn’t going anywhere—his words. It was like living her first dream, brought back to life. A dream she was too afraid to believe now because by now she understood plans didn’t work out most of the time. But she and Hud, they had something. They always had. They had to work this time. Hunter would get over it, and as for everyone else? Of course, they’d be supportive.
When Matt married Sarah, Joanne’s mother had finally given up on her hopes that eventually Joanne would do the right thing and marry the father of her son. Thank you, Matt.
Joanne had been kneeling for several minutes in the back of the shop working on Jill’s wedding dress train and she rose now, rubbing her lower back. Her phone buzzed, and she reached for it to read a text from Hud:
Silver Saddle, tonight.
She smiled. Once, she’d thought of Hud as the love of her life, but for the past several years he’d been the fun of her life. If she was too tired to go out, he’d find an activity too difficult to resist. She hadn’t been dancing in a long time.
She responded:
Maybe.
Hud: That wasn’t a question.
“Sometimes I can’t believe this is really happening,” Joanne said to Nora, when she entered their back room, holding a dress wrapped in plastic. “Me and Hud.”
Of course, she’d updated her friend and partner on everything: the kiss, the interruption, the talk with her son. Hud’s revelation.
“I understand. To hear Hud say he’ll be exclusive would shock anyone.”
Panic tore through Joanne. “Why? You don’t think he can do it?”
Nora held up her palm in the universal Stop sign. “Whoa, calm down. I didn’t say that.”
“But maybe he can’t. And maybe it’s too soon for me to be out in public kicking up my heels. I might be seen as coldhearted to be over Chuck so soon.”
“Excuse me, but I thought the whole idea was to show everyone how over him you are and how happy you are now. The boutique depends on it. You want to set everyone straight. This is a good thing, not a bad thing. You’ve come to your senses and thank goodness Chuck stood you up. And I might add that just being seen with Hud is sort of a good luck charm.”
All of that might be true, and Joanne was definitely over Chuck. Like a veil had been lifted from her eyes she saw why Hud and even Matt hadn’t liked him. He was arrogant, told stories about himself in the third person and liked to feel sorry for himself. “Chuck didn’t get picked for the first round of the draft.” Morose, he’d fish for compliments. She couldn’t think of a single redeeming quality about Chuck, other than the fact that he was reasonably good-looking, and he’d been immediately interested in a commitment and settling down. Having kids.
Frankly, she was going to give herself a pass because he was gone so much on the road with his minor league team that every time she saw him she’d forgotten what irritated her about him. He’d always been on his best behavior with her, but he’d never been in Hud’s league. It’s just that she’d believed for a time she was also out of Hud’s league, other than as a best friend.
She’d seen the women he dated. All model types and beauty queens. She’d turned into a boring single mother with a teenage kid and that didn’t attract a whole lot of good men. It certainly hadn’t attracted Hud, or so she’d thought.
But if she felt the pressure, the importance of making this work, what could that be doing to Hud? “He wants to take me to the Silver Saddle tonight.”
“And he’s such a good dancer, too.”
“He’s pretty proud of that.” He’d spent much of his time on the dance floor collecting women’s phone numbers.
She definitely didn’t like thinking of all the women he’d been with, serious or not. There were bound to be comparisons. She’d always found the women nice enough, but Joanne was not in the mood to be compared to anyone.
She changed the subject. “Have the Taylors returned any of our calls?”
“No,” Nora said, fr
owning.
It was official. They were avoiding Joanne. Whether or not it was because they suddenly hated her designs and had found someone else, or they’d bought into unfounded wedding superstitions, there was no way of knowing without first talking to them. If they were going to go with another designer, the least they could do was pull up their big girl panties and tell Joanne.
“I don’t understand. They paid for my designs. We just need their final choice and we need to start sewing soon. It’s rude not to at least return my calls.”
“Agreed. Listen, let’s talk about this tomorrow. Tonight, you go dancing.” Nora rubbed Joanne’s back. “You deserve it.”
Nora was right. Joanne picked up her phone and texted back.
See you there, cowboy.
Dancing a little bit never hurt anyone.
* * *
Hud had spent his day off doing handyman jobs around his house and looking in on his next-door elderly neighbor, Mrs. Suarez. When he’d been gone, she’d left a note pinned to his door that her thermostat was broken.
She owned the home so there wasn’t a landlord to call, and her children didn’t live nearby. Hud looked in on her and took care of odd jobs around the house.
“I think I need a new one,” Mrs. Suarez said. “I went to turn on the heater and...nothing.”
Granted, as they moved toward autumn their nights were cooler but Hud didn’t think it was time to turn on the heater. They were still having some 80 plus degree weather during the day. Still, Mrs. Suarez was on a blood thinner, so she got cold easier. He would suggest she put on a sweater, but instead he would fix the thermostat.
She was already digging through her purse when Hud tapped on it and realized she probably just needed a new battery.
Mrs. Suarez handed him a 100-dollar bill. “And keep the change, mijo.”
“No need. Think you just need a new battery.”
She blinked. “It takes batteries?”
He smiled. “I’ve got some next door.”
“Let me pay you for them.” She tried shoving the bill in his direction but he wasn’t taking one cent from a widow on social security.
“I’ll be right back with some batteries.”
“Ay, que Dios te bendiga. Es un angel.”
Hud wished he understood Spanish. She seemed to think he should. He smiled and nodded. He recognized “Dios” in there, meaning “God” so he figured it couldn’t be bad.
A few minutes later he’d replaced the batteries, accepted some fresh baked cookies, and moved on to replacing the sheetrock in his laundry room. Rachel had once trapped herself in there for a few hours and tried to gnaw her way out.
Ever since he’d adopted her, it seemed like his house was falling apart. Like Jo, he had a list now. It involved everything he had to replace because Rachel had either chewed it, shit or peed on it. He almost didn’t have enough time to fix all the damage.
He took a bite of his cookie and picked up a new piece of cut sheetrock. Rachel belly crawled to him, sniffing, as she always did when she smelled food.
“My cookie. Haven’t you done enough damage here?”
She sighed as if wounded and lay on the floor beside him.
Lately on his days off he’d been picking up a shift or two as one of the guides at Wildfire Ridge Outdoor Adventures. He’d been a regular on the ridge where it was situated. As part of the team that performed regular controlled burns, he’d made friends with the owner, Jill Davis, and her fiancé, who both ran the place. Jill had opened the business this summer and hired former military men as guides. Hud had been a regular on the zip lines and rock climbing. When Sam casually asked if Hud would like to take a shift on his days off, he’d jumped at the chance.
Yeah, he usually took it easy on his days off or managed to have fun. Ride his motorcycle, zip line, rock climb. For the most part, he’d enjoyed being solo. Accepted it. He was a free and single man, after all, unencumbered by obligations. By family. He’d had plenty of money, enough to put some away for the future. That’s the way he’d enjoyed life for years. And that had been enough until recently.
But today, no matter what he did around the house, sheetrock or stuck sliding glass door, he thought of Joanne. The night before when she’d kissed him first. He hadn’t expected that. But she’d opened the door and he’d waltzed right in. And he’d been just as gobsmacked by that kiss as the first time he’d ever seen her, convinced at the time that he’d never seen anything more beautiful in his life. She’d had her blond hair longer then and an easy friendly smile. Everyone loved her. She was wicked smart and voted Most Likely to Succeed at Anything.
He’d taken care of her virginity and his in the same night. Not a cross to bear for him, to be sure, but the act had meant a lot more to her. She’d told him she loved him and started to plan their lives together. It freaked him out. Seeking distance, he’d broken up with her. Temporarily, he’d said, trying to be reasonable.
Both were too young. Blah blah blah. Well, he’d been sixteen, so he no longer blamed himself. Much. And he’d started to date immediately, to show her that he’d meant what he said. Next thing he knew, she’d been on a date with the big man on campus, Matt Conner. He was the male version of Joanne. Successful at everything he attempted. Highly intelligent. Headed straight to the Ivy Leagues.
Then Joanne got pregnant and decided she would keep the baby. Hud was hurt and pissed, though he had no right to be. He hadn’t planned on their breakup lasting forever, hadn’t planned much of anything at all, actually. Forever, or so it seemed to his teenage brain, happened anyway.
When he realized he’d lost all hope of a future with Joanne, he’d driven too fast one night, lost control, and crashed his father’s car. The injuries hadn’t killed him, but they’d acquainted him with the fire and rescue department of Fortune Valley. He’d spent two weeks in the hospital and Jo came to visit nearly every day. She hadn’t made excuses or blamed him for pushing her away. In classic Jo fashion, she took on all the responsibility and said she’d be having a child earlier than planned. That she didn’t love Matt Conner. She wasn’t marrying him. But obviously, she was going to be very busy for the next few years.
But she’d forever be Hud’s friend.
Finished with the sheetrock, Hud picked up his tools and cleaned up.
Joanne had never mentioned the L word to him again. He hadn’t deserved her love anyway. Not after what he’d done. They graduated, Joanne had her son and Hud joined the Army. He went to fight because from that point on and for years, he’d been a pretty angry dude. Angry at himself. Angry at the world. He’d concluded war would give him a good place to channel all that aggression.
Yeah, he was that stupid.
Thank God for years and maturity because even though he’d never been in a serious relationship, he was probably healthier emotionally than most people he knew. There were no lies or deceit between him and other women. No false encouragement or games. Every relationship was always aboveboard and neat. Compartmentalized. There were months he’d go without a woman and he was good with that, too.
He’d learned to be the supportive always-single friend to Jo. He learned to push any desire for her out of his mind and heart. Mostly, it hadn’t worked. He’d just faked it well because she was too important to him. Too important to cut out of his life. Any other guy in his position he’d call lame for accepting scraps, but Hud took whatever Jo was willing to give him. For years it had been a deep friendship that only made him love her more.
Yeah, he loved her. Still.
It didn’t hurt to admit it anymore, which had to mean he’d made some kind of progress.
Chapter Eight
Hud arrived at the Silver Saddle, the only honky-tonk in their small town. Though many of his friends and some of the women he’d previously dated tried to drag him inside, he made excuses and said he’d see them later. He paced outside u
ntil Jo showed up and he walked to her car to meet her. This night would be special because he had plans. Plans to show her that he was in 100 percent. With no regrets.
She looked damned sexy wearing her cowgirl boots and a white sleeveless dress with a full skirt that hit above her knees. Already she was killing him, and they weren’t even on the dance floor.
“C’mon,” he said, taking her hand.
“Big news.” She walked beside him. “I let Hunter drive with me the other night.”
He stopped. “Finally?”
“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. You’re right—it’s nice to see that he knows what he’s doing. But I’m still worried because of the texting and driving thing. Every teenager believes they’re invincible.”
He didn’t particularly like the flow of this conversation, which sounded too much like a rehashing of their past. “Don’t worry. He’s a smart kid.”
“Sure, he’s smart. I’m still going to worry. Everyone acts as if I’m being unreasonable and irrational. But you know better than anyone else that I’m not.”
The words felt like a punch to the gut. They hadn’t talked about this in years. He’d calmly tried to ignore the fact that her fears of her son learning to drive were entirely justified. Because of him.
“Jo,” he said softly.
“I mean it. Someone I loved very much almost died in a car accident. When he was sixteen.”
It killed him that he was still influencing her negative thoughts even now, years later. It was as if he’d painted on her youth with bold, broad brush strokes that were not entirely faded. Unfortunately, the picture was ugly. It was one of fear and abandonment. Pain. He’d done that to her.
And he’d never been able to fix it.
He tugged her into his arms. “He’s Matt’s son. He won’t make my mistakes.”
“Making Matt’s mistakes wouldn’t be much better.”
“He’ll make his own. We all do.”
The Right Moment Page 8
