by Kylie Scott
"I'm sorry," he said again as if that fixed anything. Then he opened the door, walked through it, and pulled it closed. All without looking back at me once. He was gone.
I'd walked out on a lot of men. I'd also been walked out on by a lot of men. This, however, was the first time it'd ever mattered. If this was what it felt like to have your heart broken, it sucked.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Like hell.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Awkward didn't cover how it felt walking into Dive Bar the next day, having been dumped by one of their favorite sons. Val may have had to nudge me through the door when I stalled at the entrance. Bravery and I weren't well acquainted. Maybe I'd be in luck and discover he hadn't told anyone yet. Either way, I had to get an idea of where things stood.
Midmorning, the restaurant was quiet. Only a couple of people sat nursing coffee and cake. Despite my skulking, Lydia noticed me immediately.
"Hey." Her smile gentled, her eyes filled with empathy. Never had anyone looked quite so sad on my behalf. Lydia really was a sweetheart. "How are you, Alex?"
So, everyone knew.
"Hi, Lydia. I'm fine," I said through a twitchy grin. "This is my friend Valerie."
Val lifted a hand in greeting.
"How is Nell?" I asked.
At this, Lydia's smile strengthened. "She's at Pat's place, she'll be off for a couple of weeks at least. It looks like she and Pat are back together. Losing the baby is horrible, but it's nice that something good has come out of this."
"Yeah."
"Does that sound awful? It's hard to know what to say at times like this." She worried at her short black apron, turning to glance at Vaughan busily setting up behind the bar. "And you and Joe were banged up pretty badly too."
"No, it doesn't sound awful. And I'm on the mend. Val has concealer and knows how to use it, so..."
"Good. That's good." She sighed. "Eric took off. No one knows where to."
"Crap." No wonder Joe was stressed out and taking on everything himself. I looked around the room, as if I were seeing it for the last time. The dark brickwork, the mix of industrial and old style blending so beautifully. The man had made the place perfect and yet avoided any of the credit. I took a deep breath. "Is Joe here?"
Hesitation hit her, her eyes straying upward. "Um..."
"Could I get a coffee?" Val smiled, smoothly stepping in to distract her, and earning herself another nomination for best friend of the year. "And Alex tells me you have the best brownies in town. You gotta hit me with one of those."
Lydia laughed, letting herself be swept toward the counter.
Meanwhile, I headed through the kitchen toward the back of the building. The same route Joe and I had taken the infamous night of the red candles, heart-shaped pizza, and horrible music. Boyd and the kitchen kid were busy prepping for lunch. Neither paid me any attention. Out the back door and up the stairs I went. The pounding of a hammer echoed through the upstairs hallway. When it paused, exuberant swearing took its place.
Joe stood in the last room, trying to beat a piece of pine into submission. Unfortunately, while his good hand had the hammer under control, his broken hand obviously made holding the wood in place impossible.
I slipped in beside him, holding the beam steady. Neither of us said anything, but the tension radiating from him almost rattled my teeth. A moment later, the thudding of the hammer started up once again, the wood vibrating beneath my fingers.
"What are you doing here?" he growled, tone low and fierce.
"Helping."
Out of the corner of my eye, his chest rose and fell beneath an old Violent Femmes T-shirt. "I told you to go home."
"I remember."
"And?"
"If you want to end it with me, that's your choice. I can't stop you. But that doesn't change the fact that we're still friends." I dared a look at his face. His eyes were distinctly unamused. Sucked to be him. "And a friend would stay and help, Joe."
He shoved the hammer back into a loop on his tool belt and stared down at me, hands on his hips. "I don't need help."
"Bullshit. What are we doing next?"
"I'm serious."
"Me too." I crossed my arms. "What next?"
With another growl, he shoved his good hand through his hair, pushing it back off his face. My, but the man was agitated. Way cranky, not so cute.
"Would you like me to tie back your hair for you?" I asked. "Put it in a ponytail?"
Teeth gritted, he leaned back against a wall. "Why are you doing this? We've got no future. Never did."
"Okay."
"I don't want you here."
"Duly noted."
He turned and kicked the wall, leaving an almighty hole. The man was going all-out toddler tantrum. "Fuck! Just go, why don't you?"
"No." And yes, his continued rejection stung like a bitch, but this wasn't about me or my pain. "Rant all you like, I'm not doing that, Joe. I'm not leaving you to deal with this alone. Everyone here is hurt and grieving, they're either busy or they're gone. I don't see anyone having your back, and to me that is unacceptable."
Breath coming out hard and fast, he hung his head.
"I'm staying, deal with it." I dusted off my hands. "I'll go grab some more drywall so we can patch that hole."
He didn't say anything, but then, I didn't need him to. He'd stopped arguing and that was enough.
*
Due to his truck being smashed, Joe had Pat's smaller version of the same on loan. Guess Pat had his bike or Nell's hatchback if he needed to get the two of them around. Only problem was, Pat's truck wasn't an automatic.
"You're not meant to be using your hand," I said, holding my palm out, waiting for the keys, after we'd finished work for the day. "I'll drive you."
His forehead furrowed. "I'm fine with it."
"If you don't rest it, the cast stays on longer," I said. "You heard the doctor. Given you're already ignoring him to a large extent, I think every other thing we can do to cut down on usage needs to count."
The more time I'd spent with him today, the more I realized what an utter bitch it was to have five digits out of action. Especially with him being an especially handy man and all. But also, Joe Collins was a big baby when it came to being sick and/or damaged. He simply did not deal well with limitations.
More growling and grumbling. "Fuck's sake, Alex. You going to spoon-feed me and wash my balls for me too?"
"If you ask nicely." I smiled. He didn't. At least I found me funny.
"Christ." For not the first time, he looked to heaven for help. Shit out of luck there.
Across the horizon the sun was setting, the first star twinkling down over the mountains. Despite the cranky man, it was peaceful here. I don't know that I'd actually had a lot of peace in my life. Plenty of drama and neurosis, but not much peace. Coeur d'Alene had a lot going for it. The nightlife didn't compare to Seattle's, but still ... the slower pace and the people made up for that. The beauty of the place. I loved this time of day, always had. I also loved the fact that I'd helped lighten Joe's load a little, which made all of my various aches and pains worthwhile. Whether he liked it or not, retreating into himself, dwelling on the accident all on his lonesome, was not for the best.
An icy wind ruffled my hair, teasing strands out of my ponytail. God only knew what I looked like. Dusty, dirty, and all the rest.
"Look, you were right about me working on the apartments," he said in much the tone of one making a great and valiant sacrifice. Such reasonableness in the face of my overwhelming lunacy, bless him. "I did get more done with you there today. And I'm sorry for acting like such an asshole. I just think it's time we stop fooling ourselves, and it's better that we finish this thing off sooner rather than later."
His words cut me to the core, but it's not like he was saying anything I hadn't thought a thousand times before.
"I get that," I said in my best Little Miss Fucking Sunshine voice. "But I'm here, and the least I can do is help you as
a friend."
*
"You got Val here to hang with." His tone softened to something more sweet and coaxing. "There's nothing you need to worry about, okay? All I'm going to do is go home, get cleaned up."
I nodded. "And then come straight back in to work behind the bar. Am I right?"
Ooh, I was so right. Angry little lines radiated out from the corners of his eyes. He was not a happy bearded boy.
"Please," I scoffed. "You're no more likely to leave Vaughan dealing with everything on his own than I would you. That's the thing with friends."
Growly malcontent noises had definitely replaced the grunt as his standby means of manly communication.
"Luckily, I brought a change of clothes with me. I haven't done any hospitality work before, so this should be interesting. Also, Val is quite capable of entertaining herself." Though I had kind of been expecting her to show up to help with the carpentry work at some stage today. On the other hand, who was I to complain about time spent alone with Joe? I clicked my fingers impatiently and held out my hand. "Let's go. Times a' wasting."
"You're being ridiculous, Alex." He threw me the keys, stomping his way around to the driver's side of the car. "Fucking ridiculous."
Turned out he was lying about letting me clean his private parts. Too bad. A tongue bath might have improved his mood immensely.
We pulled up outside a duplex, every light on.
"I thought Eric had gone out of town," I said, grabbing my bag with extra clothes in it, black jeans and a shirt.
"Ah, yeah. Listen--"
"Joe?" Star stood in the now open doorway, wet hair hanging down her back and a seriously short silk robe wrapped around her. Like I needed to see that much of the woman's perfect slender thighs.
Joe swallowed hard. "Ah, Star, this is Alex. Alex, this is Star. You didn't get to meet each other properly at the hospital."
She was staying with him. Living in his house. Fuck me. No wonder the bastard wanted me gone. Not slaying him right then and there took some real effort.
"Hi." I put on my best smile, moving forward to shake her hand. "Lovely to meet you."
"Hi." Star gave me a limp hand and a disgruntled once-over.
"She's using Eric's room while he's away," inserted Joe.
"How nice. Give you two a real chance to catch up." My cheeks hurt from smiling. "That's great. Just ... great."
"How was your day, baby?" The winsome smile she gave Joe as she felt up his cast almost makes me puke. Let's not even go near her calling him baby.
"Ah, fine. Thanks." Joe cleared his throat. "Better get in the shower. They'll be needing me in at the bar."
"You have to go out again?" Pouting, Star followed him into the living room. "But, I made dinner for us."
"I told you I'd be busy. Alex, make yourself at home. I won't be long." With all due haste, he grabbed some clean clothes and then locked himself in the bathroom. Goddamn coward.
I plonked myself down on the couch, quietly steaming. Men. Had any species ever sucked quite so badly? Meanwhile, Star fussed around, giving me looks out of the corner of her eyes.
"You're a friend of Joe's, Alex?" she asked.
"That's right."
"How nice."
"Isn't it?" I worked the kinks out of my sore neck.
"I forgot, you were in the crash too." She leaned her hip against the edge of a table. "You poor thing, no wonder you're such a mess."
I huffed out a laugh. "I spent the day helping Joe. Building tends to make you messy."
"You're a carpenter?"
"No, I'm a graphic designer," I said. "I helped them with the layout for the apartments at the Bird Building."
Slowly, she nodded. "Yeah, he told me a little about those. So you're a business friend and you're helping him with the construction work now?"
"He's injured. He shouldn't be working at all. Someone has to."
"And that someone is you? Surely his father--"
"Stan's arthritis makes it difficult to do much these days."
Her head tilted to the side. "How close are you and Joe?"
"That's none of your business."
Brows knitted, she stared me down.
"Your turn, Alex." Joe reappeared, beard wet, hurriedly pulling on his shirt. Then he stopped, sensing the crappy mood in the room. "Everything all right?"
"Absolutely," I said, rising to my feet. "I won't be long."
One cold shower later, I was ready. By gently patting my face clean with a damp cloth, I'd managed to save some of the makeup Val had skillfully applied. Enough for me to not look too Frankenstein's bride.
Star was holed up in Eric's room when we left.
We didn't speak much on the ride back to the Bird Building. But then, Joe hadn't spoken much all day outside of giving me orders. I caught him lost in thought often, however, frowning into space. Wincing, grimacing, he displayed all sorts of unhappy. I'd have suggested he talk to someone about it, but the man could barely handle me helping out. Plus there was the fact I'd never been a big believer in therapy. Also, there was Star. His long-lost one true love, apparently. No, hiding from all of these problems and letting myself die a little on the inside made much more sense.
I'd said I'd stick by him, and that's what I was going to do.
I guess Pat had already been by to pick up Nell's things, because Joe's bedroom was all man. No sign of any incursion by Star whatsoever, thankfully. There'd been a big king bed with a dark green bedspread. An assortment of jeans, boots, and shirts filling a small built-in wardrobe. A couple of photos on the wall of the local area that I guess he'd taken. They were beautiful.
I pulled into the first open space within walking distance of the bar. The continued absence of noise seemed too loud. Guess my nerves were just really on edge.
"There's nothing going on between me and Star," Joe said, startling me slightly.
"No?"
"No." He exhaled loudly. "I just, I wanted you to know that."
I nodded. "Okay."
"She didn't have money for a room anywhere, so..."
"Right."
He scratched his head. "Alex, I meant it when I said I can't deal with this, you and me, right now."
"I know you did." And God, did that hurt. "I'm not going to put any pressure on you. I just want to help."
Another heavy sigh. "I hate that you were in the accident too. I don't want you getting hurt anymore."
"I know. But I care about you, Joe, and for now, I'm staying." I pushed open the truck door. "Let's go do this."
The strangest sight met us when we walked into the restaurant: Valerie pouring drinks behind the bar. Someone had even thought to slap a Dive Bar T-shirt on her. As usual, the woman wore it well.
"Isn't that your friend?" asked Joe, scratching at his chin.
"Yeah." I tilted my head; the scene made no more sense. It did, however, explain what she'd been up to all day. "I recall she briefly did a stint bartending when she was putting herself through the cosmetics course."
"How brief?"
And that'd be best not said. "Let's go say hi."
We wound our way through the tables, heading toward the bar.
"Oh my God," I said, with all necessary exaggeration. "They'll let anyone work here. This is fantastic, I'm asking for a job."
"Yes-s-s." Val grinned. "Do it. Then we can be bartending besties."
"Christ," mumbled the grumpy bear behind me.
"Has he been that happy all day?" asked Val.
I shrugged. "Pretty much. Thought you were going to come upstairs and help?"
She got busy filling glasses with ice and lime again, pouring in nips of vodka before finishing them off with soda water. "I got talking to Lydia and found out that her fiance, Vaughan, has gigs in Seattle and Portland for the next week that he can't cancel. He was just waiting on Joe to come take over the bar so he could hit the road."
"So you volunteered."
"Yep. But I have to head back tomorrow." She raised a brow at Joe
, though she kept talking to me. "I take it you're going to insist on helping him with the bartending duties as well?"
"Yes, I am."
A heavy sigh. "You're seriously going to run yourself ragged looking after this jerk that just dumped you?"
"Okay. When the jerk is standing right next to me, probably not the time to have this conversation, Val." I got my ass behind the bar. Not checking out whatever look was on Joe's face, because I didn't want to know. "But Joe and I are friends. Friends help friends."
"Mmhmm." Both brows high this time, Valerie remained skeptical. "Vaughan's away for a week, this Eric dude is MIA, and your friend not only needs to be here every night, but he's apparently determined to carpenter all day, every day too. Let's not even go near the topic of this ex-girlfriend coming back to town."
Joe said nothing. A whole lot of it.
"I can handle it." And the less I said about Star the better.
"You also have your own business to see to," said Val.
"I can delay taking on new jobs for a while."
"Three jobs. Three." She even held up three fingers just to emphasize her point. Either that, or to help me out with the counting. Sweet of her. "While still paying for that hotel room."
"His hand is broken." I pointed at Joe, then gestured to the room at large. "Half of their staff are missing."
Joe opened his mouth to speak, but Val got there first.
"And these are your problems how?" Hands on hips, Val stared me down.
"Because if I let him go on his merry way he'll spend twice as long with a cast on. That's if he doesn't screw up his hand somehow permanently. It's my problem because I decided it was and I need to respect that decision."
"You're stupid about him." Val took to pointing at Joe too. Her bloodred fingernail looked downright dangerous. "Aren't you?"
Head hanging low, Joe muttered obscenities.
"Val, stop," I said, hands shaking with anger and other emotions I didn't care to define. "You're embarrassing me."
"No, I'm staging an intervention. Your experience when it comes to relationships of this nature is somewhere between none and sort of fucked up. It makes me worry." Taking a step closer, she lowered her voice. "Does he even appreciate you?"
"He does. Very much." A muscle jumped in Joe's jaw as he spoke. Oh dear, the tension coming from the man was not good. "But you can both get out from behind there. I'm here now, I've got it."
