“My mother was a snake? You reveal your true colors.”
“You know that isn’t what I meant.”
“I don’t think it’s true that there is no way,” Seron said carefully. “I want to figure out how we can lower the barrier that has stood between us for so long. I know that most mist dragons are good people, the same of us. But…it is true that we’ve had a long history of strife. How do we get past that?”
“I would start by extending a hand to people like my mother,” Niko said. “Mist dragons who have lost families or homes…”
“Yes,” Seron said. “Common folk who don’t know what’s even going on in the traitor court. I think that’s only right.”
“Hmm.” Aurek sighed and seemed to be trying hard to bite his tongue. “And what about the man we have in the prison? He’s one of Dvaro’s men who attacked us and when we leave Irandal, we’ll have to decide what to do with him.”
“Do we have to put him to death?” Seron asked.
“You’re the king,” Aurek said. “I’m asking you.”
“Yes, but you’re asking me like you already know the answer.”
“Well, I know what I’d do.” Aurek stood up, and then bit his lip. “You know how I came to that conclusion, too. When I was younger—” He seemed to be addressing Niko now. “—I allowed mist dragons into the valley. They were just a small tribe, without a home. Within a year I had a riot on my hands. A few of our people were killed, and half of their tribe was killed. Everyone blamed everyone else. And then, Dvaro used the incident to light a fire against me. Try to make peace if you can, Seron…but it has seemed impossible to me. They’d kill us. We have to be perfectly willing to kill them. Maybe more than willing. Maybe ahead of the game.”
“I just don’t feel as if I should take a man’s life for…that,” Seron said.
“I think peace is possible,” I said. “Just because one way didn’t work doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try again.”
“I really—really—urge you to save my mother,” Niko said. “I don’t quite know her story, but I know how much she risked to save me.”
“And she helped Ezeru,” I said. “And he joined our side. Since she risked so much to give us two allies, I agree—we should save her. And the man we have in prison could be a part of what we offer up in order to get her back.”
“Yes,” Seron said. “This plan feels like the right thing to do.”
“But what else can you offer?” Aurek said. “What would Dvaro want? And bear in mind that we know he plays dirty, so whatever we offer, he’ll try to get more as soon as he knows we want her.”
“I can check our fortunes,” Niko said. “Come up with something, and I’ll see what the dice say.”
“I’m skeptical of fortunes,” Seron said. “What does Dvaro want most? He likes to be acknowledged. He’s proud. He wants you to consider him a legitimate king.”
“I think you mean, he wants you to consider him a legitimate king,” Aurek said. “However, he also wouldn’t stop there.”
“Yeah…well…in the meantime, could we flatter him? Some Gaermoni silk, maybe?”
“It’s a start, but I’m skeptical that mere silk would be enough of an advantage,” Niko said. “But…I’d be willing to enter into a limited trade agreement to get my mother back and find out what she knows.”
“A trade agreement?” Aurek bristled. “That’s quite a bit of legitimacy to bestow upon him.”
“What other choice do we have?” Seron said. “Otherwise we’d have to give him Ezeru or weapons or…something of worth. It has to be something of worth or he would never agree.”
“So are you offering to go to him and negotiate the trade agreement?” Aurekdel asked.
“I could,” Niko said.
“No way!” I exclaimed. “You’re a guardian! He could just hold you hostage or something.”
“I am a mist dragon,” Niko said. “And I started this whole thing.”
“Well, I agree with the queen,” Seron said. “Truly, as a guardian, you should be with the priestess. We can send a few of our men to negotiate.”
“What if I went?” Oszin walked over to the table from his post. I had told him he could sit at the table, but I don’t think he was really comfortable there. He preferred to stand back and observe.
I had a tiny, one second freakout inwardly before shaking my head. “No way. That’s not your job.”
“I know, but I’m thinking…I doubt Dvaro knows what I look like, if he knows who I am at all, so I could present myself as a trade ambassador with a different name. It would be a lot more legitimate if someone from Gaermon was along to negotiate. If Niko tells me what terms I can offer, I can handle that. I’m comfortable with haggling. If the Traitor King thinks I’m just a trader from the sky world, I might even be able to flatter him into giving me some more information.”
“What if he hurts you?”
“I want to be useful.”
“Oh no…” I clutched my stomach. I wasn’t prepared to let Oszin go. I would never have agreed to this if…
“Moth—it’ll be fine. You have Seron and Aurekdel to take care of you while I’m gone, and if the worst should happen, I know you’ll be all right.”
“It’s not a bad idea,” Seron said. “Oszin’s right. It’ll look legitimate if a human shows up to do business. The traitor won’t hurt him. He wants to trade.”
I stood up, resisting the urge to clutch my head. I didn’t want to say anything personal in front of all the ministers. “Can I speak to you alone for a moment?”
“Of course.”
In the hallway, I wanted to say something. But instead, I just met his eyes, and clutched his shirt. The more it sunk in, that he had volunteered to go straight to our enemy’s doorstep, the more I felt angry at the very thought. Oszin had been with me forever; he was my link to home…my best friend. “Why did you say that?” I asked. “You can’t. You just can’t.”
“I’ve put myself in danger plenty of times already,” he said. “Don’t I always make it out?”
“Well, that’s an arrogant thing to say! And this is different. You’re leaving my side.”
“If you order me to stay, I suppose I have to stay,” he said, patting my shoulders, but the expression on his face was distant. “I don’t have all the power that Seron and Aurek have, or even the magic that you have. I’m not the best guard for you anymore. I feel extraneous, like at this point we’re just playing a kid’s game. Let me do something to prove myself around here. A man needs his pride, Moth.”
“Oh? And what did you say when I wanted to learn to fight?” I crossed my arms. “A girl needs her pride too.”
“So you do understand.”
I huffed. “There’s no need for you to do this.”
“Actually, I think there is. I’m a logical choice for this task.”
I clutched him, realizing I was losing him. “Oh, no…”
He stroked my hair. “I promise I’ll—”
I shook my head. “Don’t. Just don’t.” I was thinking of my father’s death at the hands of the enemy. The moment I was allowed to say goodbye. His waxen skin, the light gone out of him. If that happened to Oszin, I couldn’t bear it. I wouldn’t have even brought him with me if I thought he’d put himself in danger like that!
I looked up at him, chewing my lip. Or would I? Could I have said goodbye to him forever?
He frowned. “But I will be back soon.”
“You had better be.” I laced his fingers with mine. I didn’t want to let them go. “You must stay one more night. One more night for me to store some memories.”
“I think I’ll have to arrange supplies and transportation, Moth. You’ll get your night. Don’t you worry.”
And so I did. That night, I asked for Oszin, and Oszin alone. I went to his bedroom for the night. It was small and cozy, soft with candle light. When I was with Oszin, there were no surprises and we didn’t really need them anyway. Often, we talked for hours before we eve
n made love, but tonight, he was pretty quiet. We kissed, and he gazed at my face, and he parted my legs and pleasured me slowly until I could do nothing but clutch the bed covers and moan.
“You’ve gotten very good at that…” I reached for his cock to return the favor, and he stopped me.
“I don’t want that tonight.” He cupped my face in his hands. “I’ve always worshipped you, Himika. I don’t really want to see you do that tonight.”
“But I like to make you happy.” He seemed a little distant. “You look a little upset for someone who is with the object of his worship,” I said. “Not that I am encouraging you to worship me.”
“You’re my friend,” he said. “And my queen. And—I worry about you too.”
“Don’t worry about me.”
“Don’t let Seron play too nice with the mist dragons.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…I think Aurek has the more realistic view of what he’s dealing with. Your father died because he trusted Emperor Leonidas to play by old rules, and act with honor. He was a good man, but rulers are no good dead. You know it, Moth. Remember when he caught that spy, and instead of executing him, he threw him in prison? And then the spy managed to keep sending messages out?”
“Okay, fine, but this prophecy said we’re supposed to have peace among dragons.” I huffed. “I’m starting to sound naive, aren’t I?”
“Just don’t count on prophecies. Those words could mean so many things.”
“Mm…”
He sat up, drawing away from me. His shoulders were hunched, dark against the glow.
“Oszin…is something wrong?”
He ran a hand over his face. “No.”
“Oh, come on.”
“I’m starting to feel differently about you lately.”
My heart stopped. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not very content being your guard anymore… I don’t think it’s the sharing I mind. It’s the…it’s that I was brought up to serve you, and—I love you, but that…it pisses me off.”
“So you don’t worship me, then?” I tried to joke. “I really don’t want that. I don’t see you as beneath me.”
“I don’t think you know how you really see me. You can’t have my children, that much is a fact. But it’s more of a…whole list of things. I saw how Aurekdel treated Seron like a servant. Then I saw Aurek get stripped of his title just because he doesn’t have the right blood. I think he’s a better king. He has a lot of your father’s compassion, but Leonidas’ resolve. Either way, I feel pretty damned useless these days. I think I’m just here to make you smile. Gods, I love your smile more than anything, but I don’t know if I can live for it alone. There’s no fight here for me.”
“Why do you need a fight?”
“Why did you need a fight? But then, I don’t think you really want a fight. I think, at heart, you are a sunshine and roses princess. You want peace and happiness.”
“Well, doesn’t everyone want that!?”
“Maybe. I guess I’m just too far gone.” He rubbed his head. “I don’t want to argue on a night like this.”
“Me neither.”
“Okay then.”
“So what do you want?” I sat up beside him and trailed my fingers down his back.
“I just want you. I want all of you…”
“Okay.”
“Okay?” He made a face. “No…it’s not okay.”
“It is okay.” I took his hand. “If something does happen to you…I want to keep something of you. If something happened, I would have plenty of time to give Seron and Aurek a child. They would love your child too. And if they love me half as much as they say, they’d be happy for me to—” I swallowed. “I don’t want to think about you dying, though.”
“It’s only bad news if you get pregnant and I don’t die,” he said.
“That’s not bad news.”
“It is, a little bit.”
I laughed softly, and I felt his closeness, and his hand running down my hair with a little clutch at the ends before he started again. Like he never wanted to let me go. So why go, then…why go…?
But I did understand. He had been at my side for so many years that the most dreadful part of marrying Aurekdel was being separated from him. He was the most reliable thing in my life. But he had ambition. I saw it in the pamphlets he tried to keep secret from me; I saw it in his eyes too. He tried to hide it from me, but now, I had to give him a chance to become something more than mine.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Oszin
Before I had left the palace, I did something I knew Himika would never approve of.
“Looking for Lord Aurekdel? He’s in the library.”
I hesitated outside the doorway. My princess. My beloved girl…kind, sweet, funny, playful…even when you’re in a mood, I adored you from the start, but I knew you would always be royalty and I would always be nothing. You and your family would always determine my fate and fortune. The fabric of my family’s lives was woven by your ancestors, and I never thought that would change.
“Aurek?” I leaned into the library.
“Oszin? Come in.” Aurek sounded pleasantly surprised that I was here, and set aside the plate he was reading with his fingers. I could immediately tell he was alone because there was no lantern light, just the faint glow of crystal. “Are you heading out?”
“Yes,” I said. “But…I wanted to talk to you first.”
“To me?”
“I will be going to see King Dvaro,” I said. “And I don’t know how that’ll go yet, but if he believes that I really am there to speak on behalf of trade, I wonder if I might get pretty close to him. From what I gather, talking to you and the soldiers around the castle, he’s really the heart of all this tyranny, so if you took him out—”
“Are you wanting to play the hero on me?” Aurek leaned an elbow on the table.
“I’ve been hearing grumblings that Seron might not be tough enough on him.”
“Indeed…”
“To be honest, sir, I think Seron should go back to commanding the army and you should be the king. Himika sees a hopeful vision in Seron. He might be a hero for a great age, but this is not that. She doesn’t want to hear it because the truth is, admittedly, brutal. It means there will be violence. But…I also come from a race that was brutalized. Brutality is…the way of humanity. Sometimes. Whether we want to admit it or not, I’d rather die fighting than throw down my weapons, plead for peace, and become a slave to someone else.”
Aurekdel considered this for a long moment. “We know the dark side of reality, I suppose, that some are blessed not to see.”
“I don’t know if I’ll have the chance, but I’m willing to be prepared to assassinate Dvaro and Izeria.”
“You only spoke to me. Not Seron. You’re asking me…to undermine what must be the order of a king.”
“You know why I’m asking you,” I said, in a low voice.
“And I guess you didn’t talk to Himika either.”
“The only other person I could have approached is Ezeru, but he’s gone right now. And I don’t think he has access to poison.”
“This would be very delicate. You might be suspected immediately and killed. And then Himika would know I was the one who let you do it.”
“I wrote her a letter explaining why I made this choice,” I said. “Give it to her, in the event of my death. She’ll be all right. She still has you two.”
“You mean something different to her.”
“I know, and…I don’t entirely know why I want to leave her. I have a good place in the world, at her side. But…a part of me feels like I am her slave. My only choices have ever been to work the family farm and join the military, and I ended up at her side. I wanted to be with her, but…it’s been—difficult, sometimes.”
“It’s not easy for you to live underground,” Aurek said. “You’re a human. You need the sun. She can survive it because of the crystal inside her.
Her eyesight is adapting to the darkness, and she can draw some energy from the crystal.”
I almost felt relief at this observation. “Maybe that’s why. I hate myself for doing this but I can’t shake it. I don’t have a death wish, Aurek, but I need to do something that she would never allow me to do.”
He looked a little touched. Then he stood up. “Come with me to the storeroom and I’ll give you a poison that you could slip into a drink,” he said. “But I warn you, we have no spies in Dvaro’s castle. I don’t really know what you’ll find there. You know how brutal he is. Death might be the kindest fate if you’re caught, and I can’t advise you. You’ll have to rely on your own judgment. I don’t expect you to use this…but you’ll have it.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Aurekdel
Himika seemed to handle Oszin’s departure quite well, or so I thought.
Until the morning when we were supposed to have our practice, and instead no one had seen her.
“Well, to be honest, she’s been on the toilet for the last hour,” Raia finally admitted.
“Is she all right?”
“I’m not sure what to say. I feel pretty awkward bothering people while they’re taking care of business. She sounds like she’s crying.”
I crossed my arms. “If she was just ‘taking care of business’ she’d be getting a lot of reading done, not crying, I should hope.” I went to the door.
“Don’t bother her!” Raia said, getting all protective. “Maybe she’s not feeling well.”
“I’ll handle this, Raia. Himika? Why are you hiding?”
“I don’t feel like fighting today,” she said in a small voice.
Raia was hovering over my shoulder. “Maybe she’s bleeding.”
“She doesn’t normally hide when she’s bleeding,” I said.
“Well, she hasn’t menstruated since she got here.”
“She hasn’t? Is she pregnant?”
“I think it was stress, and she was taking the tea now and then. It messes up your cycles. But human girls are pretty shy about that,” Raia said. “They don’t talk about that stuff with their menfolk.”
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