But…I didn’t say no.
With all four of them united and three of them missing me, it was quite a night as I surrendered to their hunger. It was probably about the last time I could have sex with all of them without my pregnancy started limiting our options, I thought, so I made it count.
What was not awkward anymore was the four of them. The separation, and the ways we had all suffered apart, the grief of loss and the terror of near-loss…I felt all of that in them too. When I first came to marry Aurekdel, I was barely a woman, and none of them were much older than I was. We were all more assured now, as love and experience knit us tighter together.
I worried that Oszin and Ezeru might clash with each other, but even that went all right. Their style of lovemaking could not be more different, and there was plenty of time for Ezeru to claim me fast and Oszin to take me in slowly.
I woke up late in the morning, thoroughly spent and aching, to see Aurek still sleeping beside me, and Oszin chowing down on the delicious food of the surface world.
But no Ezeru or Seron. I woke up very quickly.
“Oszin…they didn’t leave, did they?”
“They did,” he said. “I told them you would want to say goodbye, but Seron said last night was enough of a goodbye anyway. I don’t think they wanted to see you cry.”
“That’s very selfish!”
“I don’t think they wanted you to see them cry,” he added.
“Were they crying?”
“A little. In a manly way. You can still see the army on the road from the balcony if you want to wave goodbye,” he said.
“I don’t like goodbyes either.” I walked over to him and he held out an arm to me.
“Then…hello,” he said.
I sat on his lap and he clutched me against him, very tightly. He gave my head a rough kiss.
“I really wondered if I’d ever see this face again,” he said.
“Was it…very…awful?” I asked. “You look pretty…”
“Terrible?” He grimaced. “I know. I noticed last night how much my ribs stick out. Prison food was miserable. But I’ll fix that in about a week around here.” He looked at me. “It wasn’t awful for me. I can handle it, as long as I get home to you and I’m still…here. There was a point where they had my mouth forced open and Seron had the knife in his hand, but he was reluctant to cut my tongue even with the mist controlling him. There was always some Seron left in him. I guess that’s why you were able to heal him.”
“Ooh…” I shivered. It was scary to consider all this when they were returning to Izeria’s doorstep.
Aurek stirred, throwing off the covers and slipping on his clothes. “It’ll be all right this time,” he said. “It must have taken her some time to absorb all the mists to cast those spells. She can’t repeat such a trick easily. But what an evil woman…”
“She has…issues,” Oszin said. “I told Ezeru everything I know while we were heading back. Maybe he can figure out some way to exploit it. I’m not sure Izeria and Rothair are getting along that well. And—she’s the one who arranged for me to kill Dvaro.”
“She wanted you to kill her husband?” Aurek paused in the middle of putting a shoe on. “I thought they were so in love.”
“She was one hundred percent on board with killing him,” Oszin said. “She wanted me to take the fall. He died of poison right in front of her, and she gave a completely convincing performance of grief. From what I gather, Dvaro really hated Ezeru, and in some twisted way, I think she really loved him, or at least was proud of what she ‘created’ with him.”
“I hope Ezeru doesn’t fall for anything she might say,” Aurek said.
“She referred to him as her son, and said she wanted him to be her heir,” Oszin said. “But Rothair is obviously opposed to that completely. The things I saw there…well…it only affirmed my belief that royalty is…a bad system.”
I gave him a careful look and moved to my own seat. “It usually works out.”
“Does it, though?”
“Well, what do you want instead, Oszin? Martial law?”
“Martial law? You don’t even know what you’re talking about. All you know is kings and queens and emperors.”
I gaped at him. “I don’t know what I’m talking about? I know you’ve been through a lot, but you’re being pretty rude, Oszin. I thought you’d miss me.”
“I missed you tremendously.” He frowned. “I almost died, and the whole time I was thinking about you. But now, I guess…I’m done mincing words around you. I want to be able to say what I really think, even if it’s radical. And I think kings and queens are bullshit. That’s how I feel.”
“What!”
Aurek walked over, patted the back of my chair, and then found my shoulder. “Hmm. What is the solution? Our cities are too large to choose a tribal leader as in the ancient days.”
“That is the solution,” Oszin said. “Only, you don’t call it a tribal leader anymore. But it’s like that. The people choose the king in an election, and when the king dies, they choose a new king. Or, the king can resign. And if the king does something really terrible, they can even be removed. It isn’t too easy to do that, of course. But this is how they do things in some of the countries abroad. I read about it, and it’s not perfect, but it’s better than having royal families who feel entitled and then go nuts if they don’t have an heir trying to keep it all together.”
“That would cause chaos!” I exclaimed. “What about my brother and his position? If the dragons held an ‘election’, what if everyone wanted one?”
“Moth, do you really think it’s so great that your brother had to be the emperor when he didn’t want to be? And that whatever kid of Phoebe’s happens to be his will be next in line? What if one of her other children was a better ruler?”
“I know, but…what if the people wanted a ruler who wasn’t one of us?”
“Where did you hear about all this?” Aurek asked.
“Papers. Some of the soldiers passed them around. There was a little store in Gaermon where you could buy them in the back.”
“This is something Seron would have to decide,” Aurek said. “I wouldn’t take his crown from him again. With that said…without this entire problem of kings and blood lines, Izeria wouldn’t have had as much to use against us. It put a little poison in my relationship with Seron. It always has. And when all of this is over, we need a way to unite.”
“So we wouldn’t even have princesses anymore…,” I said.
“You look so sad.” Oszin grinned. “You hated being a princess!”
“I did, but…”
“You can be so contrary!”
“Well, yes. Of course. I was born a princess,” I said, loftily, and tried to eat my breakfast.
Once again, I was left with two men, waiting for the others to come home. But we got reports every day or two from the soldiers, so we knew that everything was all right and nothing much had happened yet.
And now I had Oszin. There was something special about being in my own world with him. We had so much leisure time that Oszin showed me how to make Kamiri rice bread with a special blend of wheat and rice flours. It was sweet and fluffy. For the first week or two we caught fish in the stream, and took turns reading books to Aurek, and played with the rock dragon children and little Rina and some of the village kids, and sang songs around the fire.
One of my favorite times of day was probably when we worked on learning signs with Peri, and soon I knew the alphabet and we could practice talking to each other. Phoebe’s mother was also very doting—and quite funny—and seemed so happy to have more babies on the way. I felt like I had mothers for the first time.
Of course, Phoebe’s second pregnancy was going perfectly while my belly grew rapidly. It seemed like just a few weeks ago, things weren’t so bad.
And then all of a sudden the ‘twins’ thing seemed to hit me hard. I was getting huge. I was exhausted all the time. Once I sat down I could hardly get up. An
d when I tried to sleep I never seemed able to get comfortable, and once I did, I had to pee. Pretty soon, if I ever tried to get up, someone would stop me and ask me what I needed.
I didn’t like this at all. It reminded me too much of when my bones were crystal and no one let me do anything. I still kept my sword at my side. One day, I thought, I would teach my children to fight, and I would teach them to grow plants and use healing magic. I would teach them everything, and they could decide if they wanted to be warriors or healers or mothers or anything else.
The babies started feeling more real to me and I started feeling excited to meet them. I was sure they would be extremely beautiful. I wondered what their crystal affinity would be. Sometimes Aurek gave me different crystals to rest against my skin so they could start learning to draw magic already.
The weather was growing colder, and I started to worry a little. The babies might come early, and we’d had no word of a battle yet, just skirmishes as Ezeru tried to peel off rock dragons to their side.
Even when I had a bad day and kept to my bed I had as many attendants and visitors as any queen. It was almost ridiculous. Merchants and officials from other towns came to meet the royal families and pay their respects, and more soldiers came to fight for us.
Oszin told me about Ijaru and Morhu, and told me they were mostly keeping nervously to themselves in a small tent outside the village.
“That’s no good,” I said. “Send Ijaru here to help Raia. I’d like to meet a mist dragon girl who is on our side.”
Ijaru was a willowy young girl who looked quite innocent and fresh-faced despite all she’d been through. She entered my bedroom practically shaking with excitement.
“Oh, Queen Himika! I beg your pardon, but if I may say, you are as beautiful as I imagined,”
“You don’t have to beg pardon. Although you don’t have to say all that either. I feel like a beached whale…”
“Nah, you have that baby glow,” Raia said. “It makes up for how big you are.”
“Raia! You have no tact.”
Ijaru looked nervous and then giggled. “You are every bit as kind as Lord Oszin too.”
“I’m glad he was good to you.”
She flew to my bedside. “He was so good to me! Did he tell you that he wouldn’t deflower me even under the influence of mist? I can’t even imagine anyone loving me as much as he must love you. It was the most honorable thing my father and I had ever witnessed. And now he brought me here and I don’t even have to show my tail anymore. He’s the most gallant person I’ve ever met in my life. And he was so fierce fighting off those other dragons!”
Raia snapped her fingers. “We’ll find you a nice dragon you’ll like just as much as you like Oszin.”
“Whaaat? I don’t like Oszin!”
“Sure, sure…” She sighed. “Of course, it’s hard enough to find one good man. For us mere mortals…”
“You have a mate, don’t you?” Ijaru said. “I saw you talking to that tall blonde fellow and you were both blushing.”
“He was blushing? You really think so?”
“Definitely! I would think you were husband and wife!”
“Oh…”
“Is Abel still getting in the way?” I asked. “I thought you patched things up with him.”
“Oh, no. Not Abel! No, he’s all for it. Even he said that Merrick seems perfect for me. We’ve been having lunch together every week.” She spritzed me with a little flower water before today’s visitors arrived, but so absently that she sprayed some in my eyes.
“So what is the trouble, O Worst of Handmaidens?” I asked.
Frazzled, she wiped my face with my bed sheet. “Maybe he’s worried about being intimate with a dragon. Maybe I don’t understand human men very well. I’m—I’m not sure. All I know is that he won’t let me mate with him. He won’t even go to the sauna with me. Are human men usually so very shy? Why would he talk to me if he doesn’t want to mate with me?”
“Maybe he has a strange cock,” Ijaru said.
I turned red on her behalf. “Aren’t you a little young for this conversation?”
“Why? Your father didn’t ever warn you about men?”
I tried to imagine Ijaru’s sweet old father warning her about men with strange cocks and simply had to chalk this one up to cultural differences.
“Maybe,” Raia said. “But how strange could it be? He could tell me! I’ve told him everything.”
“Humans are just a lot more shy and slow about things,” I told Raia. “It’s been a few months but there are men who don’t even want to have sex before marriage. I really wouldn’t be surprised if you scare him a little.”
“Ugh. I do have a big mouth even for a dragon. My mother used to say I the brightest of lava dragons. I don’t have a temper like some of them do, but…you know how I am.” She sighed. “I can hardly imagine a man like him being afraid of me. He’s so tough and thoughtful, but not stuck in his ways either.” She sighed. “I’ll try to tone it down. I really like him.”
“Don’t tone it down, no, be yourself,” I said. “Well, I guess it doesn’t hurt to try thinking before you speak now and then, but…”
“Be yourself, just also much less obnoxious,” Raia said.
“Well, no, but…”
“I get it, I get it.” Raia laughed. “I’d rather you be honest. I have such bad luck with men, I tell you.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Ezeru
“You’ve changed,” Seron said, building up the fire for our first night’s camp.
“I’m sure I have.”
“I am…truly sorry about Aknu, and the other rock dragons who were killed that day. Whenever I lose a man, I always feel responsible for bringing them out there in the first place. I bet you feel it even more.”
“He was going to marry Nuru,” I said. “He was going to have a child. I can’t believe he won’t live to see it. But…that’s why I was there in the first place. I was afraid that the longer we waited, we might lose the chance to save you and Oszin.”
“You’re a good man.” Seron poked the fire. “How was it? You and Aurek? The human world? Seems like it’d be a lot for you. You hate pomp even more than I do.”
“Definitely too much pomp.”
Seron laughed. “And so what’s with the tail?”
“It kept the queen well pleased when you weren’t here,” I said.
“Replaced by a tail,” Seron said ruefully.
I shook my head. “I should tell you, I also brought some pleasure to Aurek. I’m sure he would have rather it was you. I don’t want to interfere, but he was so welcoming to me.”
I caught the briefest frown on Seron’s face and for a moment I thought he might be possessive of Aurek, but then his eyes widened and he coughed. “You really repay people well for being welcoming.”
I shrugged. “Well, I was already there with the queen and it just felt right.”
“No, I’ve never…with Aurek…I mean, we’re not lovers.”
“I know.”
“Then why do you think I would put my tail in his ass?” He sounded defensive.
I realized maybe I didn’t understand Seron and Aurekdel as well as I thought. “Well, sometimes a rock dragon pairing becomes so close with other rock dragon that if one mate dies, the companion will share the bed of the one left behind, whether male or female, so the dragon doesn’t feel the loss of their mate as much. Sometimes they mate to relieve an urge. Rock dragons only mate when they’re with the person that puts them in heat, but if that person is lost sometimes they still go into heat from the scent left behind for a while. Well, you and Aurek seem as close as that. Or more.”
Seron heaved a sigh. “You make it seem pretty straightforward.”
“You don’t love him the same way.”
Seron hesitated. “I—I don’t know.”
“I guess I don’t really understand. I never understood the mist dragons. They would marry without even loving each other at all. Fo
r a rock dragon, that’s not possible. I saw them at court; sometimes I was even allowed to attend weddings, but I was always on the outside, so I never got to see how it worked out.”
“Probably not that well,” Seron said. “I do love Aurek… Of course I do. Everyone does. He has this charm about him. And when he’s with Himika, I can’t imagine a better king and queen. They both have a way of putting everyone at ease and when they walk into a room it’s like turning the lights on. But I’ve also been ragingly jealous of him.” He mussed his own hair as he jabbed the fire with a stick. “I can still remember hitting him, and it felt kinda good. But he probably feels the same about me.”
“I think he admires you more. But affection comes more easily to him.”
“Love…yeah. it’s never come easy to me. And he’s always had as much love as he wants,” Seron said. “It’s not hard for Aurek.”
“He still seems lonely,” I said. “Maybe I’m wrong.”
“Nah. Not wrong. It’s just one of those things. Well, you know all about messed up childhoods. When I was down there…Izeria was always arguing about you with Rothair. And I bet she used to argue the same with Dvaro, didn’t she?”
I noticed him changing the subject, but it worked. I stiffened. “Dvaro hated me. But Izeria…was worse. She was…closer to me.”
“Are you going to be able to kill her if you get the chance?”
“Will I be able to? Gods. It would be my greatest wish. You can be sure, I won’t hesitate.”
“Okay…” Seron shrugged a little and put his rabbit on the fire.
“You think I would hesitate?”
“Do you have any idea who your parents are?”
“No.”
“Well…don’t you think it’s gotta be one of them?”
“They chose me because I had the blood of Orvenu. I saw Rothair cast the spell. It could have been anyone.”
“I don’t know. The way they were arguing about you… I could be wrong, but it seemed to me like you were in the family somehow.”
Revulsion shot through me. Of course, I’d thought about it. But I tried to shove it aside. I hated the mist dragon royals down to every drop of blood in my body, and I couldn’t stand the thought that any of that blood could be shared. “No. No. Not them.”
The Kingdoms of Sky and Shadow Box Set: A Fantasy Romance Page 75
