by Hana Blue
I shook my head and giggled. “Look, you and I both know that isn’t really something anyone want’s to hear the story for. I figured I’d just keep it hidden while we were there.” I replied with a shrug.
“I think you just don’t want Daniel to see it.” She playfully nudged at me.
I shot her a surprised look, my eyes as wide as dinner plates. I slapped her arm and rolled my eyes. “It has nothing to do with that. He’s probably found his own mate by now, anyway.” I shrugged.
Caireen flashed a knowing smile. Shaking her head in mock disappointment. “But what if he hasn’t?” She asked, wiggling her eyebrows. “Let’s be real for a second Aine. Can we do that?”
I nodded, pulling a smoke from my pocket, lighting it, then cranked the window of my car down just a little.
“You only just now know your mate’s name, he wants to kill you, and obviously he marked you by accident. It is more than clear he doesn’t give a shit about you, other than the fact he doesn’t want you breathing. You may be marked, and you may have a mate, but you aren’t married, hell you aren’t even in a relationship. You could very well rekindle your relationship with Dan while we are here.”
I looked over at her surprised, wondering when my sister I raised since she was a baby became a grown woman who was giving me advice. Good advice at that. I knew damn well that she was right. Every single word. The thought that upset me the most was the realization that I had always avoided thinking of before. He could have a mate now.
He could be happy with someone else, and of course I would be happy for him. But foolishly I always thought we would end up being each other’s mate, but I’m sure the pull would have showed if we were, and the most critical point. They cannot mate pure breeds to a non pure breed. Wolves of pure wolf blood, ones that have no human blood in themcan not be mated with a wolf that was born human.
It was a simple fact, a wolf’s soul could be split into two, and a human soul could be split, but you could not split a soul and one half be human and the other wolf. I repeated that fact in my head for a minute, feeling like I was missing some connection. Like there was some obvious fact sitting there on the tip of my tongue but I couldn’t bite it.
“They can mate a wolf to a wolf, but not a human. A human can be mated to a human, not a wolf.” I muttered.
Caireen looked at me confused. “What?” She asked, looking at me skeptically.
I tapped my cigarette, letting the ash fall into the ashtray, mulling it over and over. “A wolf can not be mated to a human.” I finally said out loud.
Caireen shrugged, showing that she realized this obvious fact. “That’s why Daniel could never be your mate. So what?” She asked, tilting her head.
Searching my face for some sort of answer, but none was to be found.
* * *
The grand double doors of the pack house flung open as we approached the front porch. An older man standing in between them with outstretched arms. His long black hair braided down his back, and his glowing red eyes sparkling with excitement.
“My girls!” He called out to us, almost running down the porch steps to Caireen and I.
In one smooth movement he wrapped one arm around Caireen, and the other round me, swooping us into a tight hug. Both of us crushed together against his chest, giggling in unison. Finally he pushed us to arm’s length, grabbing our chins. He towered over us as he looked down to gape at our faces. His eyes scanning and darting all around.
“Well, I’ll be damned, Aine, you get more beautiful ever day.” I blushed and looked away as he turned to Caireen. “And you aren’t that stubborn teenager anymore, are you?” He asked with a chuckle wiggling her chin and she laughed. He spun around quickly, placing his heavily tattooed arms around our shoulders and ushered us into the house, calling out to the others. “The Dunnam girls are here!” He yelled with excitement as the doors flung closed behind us.
I could hear footsteps from all over the house rushing into our direction. The pack flooding into the primary room to greet us. Caireen squealed as her best friends rushed in. Running straight into their arms where a group hug quickly took place. The elder women crowded around me, cooing at me and inspecting how the years had changed me.
“You know Micheal, you didn’t have to bring everyone here.” I looked up to the aging man with a beaming smile and he shrugged playfully, wrapping his arm around my shoulders again, giving them a squeeze.
“Of course I did. You came back home.”
Guilt pooled in my chest for a moment, but it didn’t last. I was too swept away at the moment, seeing all the familiar faces. The smiles and joy. It warmed my heart, blocking out some pain that I felt in my stomach coming from him. Finally, a short slender woman came through the crowd, forcefully pushing the others aside as she approached me. Long red hair flowing in large curls down to her waist. Her fair skin dusted with freckles and a rosy blush color. The age in her face showing a little more than I last remembered, leaving deep smile lines and crows feet around her beaming white eyes.
“Aine!” She called out with arms outstretched in front of her.
“Lilith!” I called back to her, stepping away from Micheal.
I wrapped my arms around the small woman and squeezed like a child would a teddy bear. Burying my face into her fiery mess of hair.
“I thought you’d never come back.” She whispered to me, and I smiled.
“I can only stay away so long.”
With a boisterous laugh, she pulled away and eyed me skeptically. She tapped her long French tipped nail against her nose as she pondered for a moment. “You know who else will be happy to see you.” She finally chirped, giving me a playfully suggestive look.
I rolled my eyes, beaming at her. Genuinely smiling. Genuinely happy for the first time in a long time. I rubbed the back of my neck nervously as I looked at her for a moment, and she nodded. I needed no verbal communication. She knew me too well, and she picked up on my reservation quickly.
“We almost believe his mate doesn’t even exist. He isn’t getting any younger.” She laughed. “You will see him tonight, I didn’t mention you were coming back so it could be a surprise. Now come. Let’s get you settled before you go talk with Alpha Micheal.”
She turned on her heels and motioned me to follow with a crook of her finger, so I did. Her wide hips swaying side to side as she led me down the familiar hallways to what used to be Caireen and I’s room years ago. The warming smell of cinnamon and pine filled my nose, bring back many memories from when I was here last. Fond memories that I was sure I would never forget.
We stopped in front of the large cherry-wood door and Lilith turned to me. “I hope your old room will suffice.” She said as she pushed the door open.
I peaked inside to find it almost exactly how I left it. The beautiful maroon bedding lined with black lace, the king-size poster bed with ivy carved into the posts. My old roll-top desk still stood in the corner, covered in dust. It felt like I had stepped back in time, to when things were a little easier. I sighed in relief as I took it in, grateful that nothing had changed.
Lilith nodded silently and rested her hand on my shoulder, then walked away. Leaving me alone to stand at the thresh-hold of my past. I stepped into the doorway and took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment, letting my mind wander back to the days I spent here, learning to control my beast. Learning how to fight and protect Caireen. Remembering back to the days here that molded me into the woman I was today.
I smiled softly, opening my eyes again. I tossed my bag to the side, letting it fall into the chair by the door. I didn’t even have to look or think about it, because I knew the chair was there, and I had done the very exact thing before, time after time. With the bag now out of my hands I ran straight for my old bed, flinging myself into the air, only to crash back down, letting a cloud of feathers float around me from the pillows. I groaned, and I groaned, sighing with pleasure as my body sank into the mattress and the smell of home engulfed me.
I turned my head to face the doorway. A tall, lean man leaned casually against the frame. A baggy grey t-shirt loosely hanging off of his broad shoulders, messy red hair combed back flowing behind his neck. His hazel eyes peering at me playfully, a smirk on his lips. Stunned, I stared at him for a moment before I leaped out of the bed. Now sure that what I was looking at wasn’t a dream.
“Daniel!” I squealed with delight, bounding across the room, straight into his arms that instinctively wrapped themselves firmly around my waist. On my toes, I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into his finely freckled shoulder.
“Dan, it’s you!”
He let out a low chuckle and pulled back just enough to kiss my forehead. “You sound surprised. I think I’m the only one who has the right to be surprised right now.”
I unlaced my finger from around his neck, releasing his hair that had grown long over the last two years, leaving it only short on the sides. I peered up at him, and he smiled warmly at me, pushing my hair behind my ear.
“So, what brings you back here, Scar?”
I closed my eyes, letting his old nickname for me roll over my thoughts. When I first came here, I was a callow teenager, and Caireen was just a kid. I stumbled upon this place on accident, but when Micheal recognized what we were, he took us in and made us family. That’s when I met Daniel. He was a shit back then, and as Micheal trained us, and molded us into warriors, Daniel constantly made me the butt of all jokes.
Daniel was three years older than me, always much taller, and stronger, and he made no attempts not to show it. Leaving himself to be the most daunting bully. Constantly using anything he could about me, against me. Mercilessly taunting and pushing me. He used to make fun of the many scars that covered my body. The ones that left a constant reminder that I was damn lucky to be alive.
But over the years, and the many times I left and came back, he changed from the bully, to a friend, to so much more. But it didn’t matter how our relationship morphed, the name forever stuck. Morphing with us, from taunting to endearing. A name that used to fill me with rage and bloodlust, soon turned into a sweet song when it touched my ears. A name that used to come from him with malice and disdain now rolled off of his lips like honey, sweet and thick with love.
“We are here for Caireen this time.” I finally said, forcing myself out of memory lane once again.
Daniel looked at me curiously for a moment, then nodded. Affirming that he really didn’t care why I was back, he was just happy that I was. He kissed my forehead again, releasing me from his grasp. “I’ve got patrols, but..” He paused awkwardly, rubbing his hand over his mouth and down his chin.
“You’d like to see me later and catch up?” I interjected, trying to hard to maintain a hard exterior, but failing miserably.
He cupped the side of my face gently and muttered. “Exactly.”
I leaned into his hand for a moment, enjoying its warmth before he pulled it away.
“9pm?”
“9pm.” I replied with a smile.
He winked at me and took off down the hallway, almost jogging. I peaked my head out of the door to watch him for as long as I could. Never looking away until he was out of sight. Once he was, I pulled myself back into my room, shutting the door. I hugged myself and slid down the door till I was seated on the mahogany-colored carpet. Feeling like schoolgirl who had just got her first kiss. Butterflies building in my stomach, drowning out any thought of being mated, being marked.
It didn’t matter. I was home.
I closed my eyes and rested my head back on the door. Letting the peace fill me, washing away the pain and hurt for the last few months. Washing away all the worries, including the ones that brought me here in the first place. I didn’t know how long I sat there in silence, but I was jerked out of it as the door was pushed into my back.
“Get your damn bag out from behind the door Aine!” I heard Caireen curse as the door slammed into my back again.
Why does everyone want to break my spine? I thought to myself and I roll onto my knees. The door slams forward again, this time opening enough for me to poke my head around it and look up at her.
“Do I look like a duffel bag?” I asked her sarcastically as I grabbed the doorknob to help pull myself off of the floor. My back throbbing yet again from the constant abuse from those around me. Caireen looked at me tilting her head for a moment and laughed, pushing herself inside.
“You know, there is plenty of floor space to sit in this room if that’s what you wanted. But can we keep the door area ass free?” She chuckled, tossing her backpack onto the floor next to the bed and kicking off her shoes. “I saw Daniel.” She murmured in a cutesy tone, and I blushed a little. “I take it you did too?”
She pulled her sweater off and tossed it across the room to the desk chair, then leaned back onto the bed, letting her legs dangle off the side. “It’s been way too long. I think this will cure my need to get out that cabin, what do you think?”
“Mhm.” I groaned at her, shucking my leather jacket from my shoulders and laying across my bag. “I’m off to talk to with Alpha Micheal. Stay out of trouble ok?”
She huffed, sitting up. “Don’t be boring.” She said jokingly with her arms crossed. I rolled my eyes and left the room.
As I made my way back to the great room, I took a moment to stop and appreciate how different it was being here. Being amongst a pack, being without the daunting responsibilities of keeping Caireen safe by myself. Without the constant worry of being caught. Many times I thought about staying behind and becoming part of the pack, but my loyalty and the memory of my parents pushed me to return to Sitka every time. Back to the cabin they raised me in, the cabin I raised Caireen in.
I entered the sizeable room, and it was mostly empty except for Micheal and his son. Everyone else having now dispersed back to what they were doing before the small welcoming party. I beamed at Micheal, then looked over to Joshua, his son. He had grown taller and gained a stronger, more muscular look to him since I last saw him. I shot him a smile and approached.
“So what, are you ten now Josh?” I playfully asked, punching him in the now rock hard bicep.
In a swift motion he grabbed my fist and flung me around, pulling my back to his chest and messed up my hair with his fist, grinding it against my skull. I threw my elbow back into his stomach, using the slight release of his grasp to wiggle away. Taking an enormous step towards Micheal.
Joshua quickly regained composure and laughed into the sky. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to finally dothat.”
I scoffed at him, crossing my arms tauntingly across my chest, remembering all the times I had done the same thing to him as a kid.
“I’m seventeen now for your information.” He rubs his chin for a moment, looking at me with a cocky expression. “That makes you like ninety now, right?”
My mouth dropped open in surprise as he laughed at his own joke before joining him in the laughter until my stomach ached.
Nine
The Past is Gone
Aine~
I glanced down at my phone nervously.
8:45 p.m
I fidgeted with the phone, gently tossing it back and forth between my hands, slowly glancing around the empty bedroom. Scanning over every inch of it, fighting back the lump in my throat.
8:46 p.m
“Shit.” I muttered, hoping my glancing around the room would have occupied more time than one measly minute. I shoved my phone back into my back pocket and twiddled my thumbs. Stopping myself, I looped my thumbs into my back pockets and started pacing. Guiding my steps gently with my hands pushing on either side of my hips. Thumbs still stuck in my pockets.
Sighing, I walk up to the floor-length mirror by the wardrobe. A large ornate mirror with a dull gold frame. I took in my reflection for a moment, just now realizi
ng that I looked like hot garbage.
“Fuck.” I grumbled, pulling at the elastic that bound my hair at the ends. Quickly I pulled the braid out and combed my hair with my fingers, letting it flow off my shoulders and down to my lower back in dark waves. I leaned in closer to the mirror, pinching at my cheeks, trying to give them a soft glow before backing up. Taking one long last look at myself. My raven hair now free from its braid, my black shirt clinging to my body under the warn looking leather jacket I always wore. My light blue jeans hugging my hips, flaring out over the combat boots I was wearing. The tan skin of my knee peaking out through a mess of white threads where I had worn a hole at some point.
I looked like me, but I felt like a much younger version, one that didn’t carry as much weight on her shoulders. As I looked at myself I watched my reflection change before my eyes. My very long hair appearing much shorter, waving around my shoulders, a dark blue tank top lazily shrugged on with a pair of dark jeans. My tattoos fresh and full of color, a youthful glow to my skin. The image I was so used to seeing in this mirror. I blinked a few times, and my reflection returned to the one I now knew as myself.
I pulled out my phone.
8:49 p.m
“I can be early.” I shrugged, speaking to the woman that looked back at me in the mirror. I grabbed the edges of my jacket, giving them a good shake to straighten it, and left the room. The house was silent mostly, and the only light through the hallway was the dim amber sconces that lined the wall. I quietly padded down the hall not disturb anyone from whatever they were doing, sleeping or otherwise.
I finally stepped out of the house and the brisk fall air lifted my hair up around me. I walked to the edge and plopped down on the front steps like I had done a million times before. Waiting for Daniel to get done with patrols. I knocked the toes of my boots together as I waited, letting my fingers dance circles around themselves in my lap.
It wasn’t long before I heard the crunching of leaves from the side of the house. I turned to look, finding Daniel confidently rounding the porch, pulling his shirt back on. I glimpsed slightly his toned chest as he came into view before it was covered in a grey cotton sheet, leaving me to smile to myself in appreciation.
