JUDY
What? How could you say something like that?
DANIEL
But indeed I do. I am an honest man, and I do not wish for my viewers to think I am imprisoning a real person. I have committed no crime against humanity…other than theft. I confess, this android is not my property. However, I feel the topic at hand deserves as much realism as possible. I assure you all, my words will mean nothing if this gathering is considered to be an act. The only lie here is the illusion standing behind me.
JUDY
You monster! I am real! I am real! My name is Judy Wetsworth--
DANIEL
Yes, wife of Carl Wetsworth, one of the men responsible for creating such abominations.
JUDY
…I…I have two children: April and Helen…
DANIEL
…androids, the both of them.
JUDY
Wha…you can’t do this! Help! Help!
DANIEL speaks to the camera.
DANIEL
Stay calm! This is only a show of humanity’s misguided need for perfected affection. I understand why you might want to help this convincing imitation, so I will give evidence that it is no more human than the lights above us or the clothes on our bodies.
JUDY
Stay away. Stay away from me!
DANIEL
I’ll make this promise to you and my audience; if you can repeat my words exactly, I’ll free you.
JUDY
What?
DANIEL
Repeat my words exactly, and you may go.
JUDY
Okay. Tell me what to say. I’ll say anything you want.
DANIEL
I doubt that. Say this, “I am human”.
JUDY
You are human.
DANIEL is amused, not expecting IT to avoid the question in such an obvious manner.
DANIEL
Wit must be the newest advancement in mimicry. No, repeat EXACTLY what is said. “I…
DANIEL points at JUDY.
DANIEL
…am…human.”
JUDY becomes emotionless and awkward, revealing a flaw.
DANIEL
Are you incapable? I know you are, but it would be best to admit it.
JUDY shakes off the flaw and returns to being terrified.
JUDY
Someone get me out of here! Make him let me go! Please!
DANIEL
Do you all understand yet? Time Tech is bound by law to program this exact deficiency in all of their above-average models. Yes, our government…’we’ were wise to define limits to our own machinations. Whenever directly asked to state their origin, these androids must answer truthfully or not at all. I could almost think it a self-attributed flaw; a sense of pride amongst machines, but I cannot admit to such an impossibility.
JUDY
I…am…real!
DANIEL
Only in the sense that a portrait is. Look at her very closely! Her hair looks and feels akin to the strands of a Roman Goddess.
DANIEL touches JUDY’s hair, and IT turns IT’s head.
DANIEL
Her skin is flawless; no visible scars or unwanted creases of any kind.
DANIEL touches JUDY’s arm, but IT turns away.
DANIEL
Of course, the final piece to this well-planned construction is its feigned personality. I have abducted it, tied it up, and am now parading it about on display. Excluding a very bland ‘monster’, not one foul word has it spoken against me. It hasn’t even tried to attack me. A real person would take every chance to harm their captor, verbally and/or physically.
JUDY
Let me go. Please.
DANIEL
If it were real, you could find no better woman to spend the rest of your life with. And that very fact is destroying our species from within. The famous Carl Wetsworth is very content with Judy.
DANIEL (cont.)
It cooks him breakfast every morning, cleans his home spotlessly, and gives him any physical pleasure he requires after a hard day’s work. Carl is not going to bars. Carl is not a member of any dating service. Carl considers himself to be a happily married man.
JUDY
We love each other very, very much.
DANIEL
Carl loves Judy, yes. This machine is incapable of loving back. And what if it could? No android is capable of reproducing…yet.
JUDY
That’s not true. It’s not true! I have two children, two little girls!
DANIEL
Both artificial, just as Judy is. However, Carl doesn’t seem to mind. Like Judy, little April and Helen are forgeries of the best kind possible. They give him no grief, and he gives the world no children. Carl is doomed. He will leave no legacy after death and take with him not one honest experience of human interaction. The only proof of Carl’s existence will be his name as past ownership when his empire is resold.
JUDY
I’ll never leave my husband, EVER!
DANIEL
But he will leave you. He is mortal, and you are not.
JUDY
Enough! I’m not listening. Let me go, let me go, let me…
DANIEL becomes nervous and quickly pulls out the wire in the back of JUDY’s head.
SFX: a series of beeps
JUDY powers down and sits in silence.
DANIEL
There, you see? More proof of her devious nature! By pulling out a single wire, we render her lifeless and useless. Yet, all that is needed to bring it back to reconnect it. Therefore…
DANIEL pulls out a tazer, then plugs her back in.
DANIEL
…more drastic measures are required.
DANIEL touches JUDY with the tazer before IT can speak, making IT convulse.
SFX: sparks of electricity
JUDY is locked in an awkward position and immobile.
DANIEL
There, the android named ‘Judy’ is terminated. A hasty solution to a dire problem, but this act is only temporary. Eventually Carl will find his broken JUDY and order his company to repair her. If repairs are impossible, the company will manufacture an exact duplicate of the original. In fact, Carl can have his Judy back in time to cook his dinner tomorrow night.
DANIEL becomes much more personal with the camera.
DANIEL
Can you see what we are doing to ourselves? We are committing mass suicide through these unrealized fantasies. No machine can ever replace the human spirit…the human soul. We are not perfect! Our flaws not only define ourselves, but each other as well. Without pain, we have no reason to live. Survival is meaningless with nothing to overcome. If we fool ourselves to believe such lies, these illusions of bliss, then we will be no more. All that will remain is an army of machines devoid of purpose and meaning.
DANIEL notices something on the computer.
DANIEL
Someone has been kind enough to warn me of the authorities. Thank you, my audience. Remember what has been shown here.
DANIEL turns off the computer, and runs hastily away.
DANIEL (OS)
Computer, open the door.
COMPUTER
Affirmative, and have a nice day Mr. Mason.
SFX: a beep
The lights automatically turn off, leaving the deactivated JUDY in darkness.
ACT II, SCENE II
At the coffeehouse where SOPHIE RUSSO spouts HER poetry in front of the same small CROWD.
SOPHIE is sitting on a chair, looking incredibly depressed, but the CROWD cheers her to get onstage again. SHE reluctantly does so, grabbing hold of the microphone, but uncharacteristically keeping away from slam poetry.
A Beat.
SOPHIE
Do you believe people can do the right thing, even when everyone else says they’re wrong?
SHE waits for the CROWD to agree.
SOPHIE
&
nbsp; Ghandi, he’s the perfect example. He didn’t care what any government or foreign country or conformist locals said. He simply did what he knew was right. What he knew was right.
SHE shakes her head, and the CROWD begs to know what is wrong.
SOPHIE
You wanna know what’s wrong with me? You really do? I had my chance to do the right thing, and I blew it.
SHE points to the chair DANIEL had sat in before.
SOPHIE
Right there, in that spot, a hero sat down by me. He could feel the wrong in this world, and all he wanted to do was share that feeling. I couldn’t do it for him. Nope, I was the weak one and turned him away.
The CROWD doesn’t believe HER.
SOPHIE
No, no. It’s true. None of you wanted to listen to him either. You threw coffee cups to get him to leave, and I made fun of him with you. Daniel Mason, ring any bells? It should. He’s the right-minded man who showed us all what those androids are made of. Tore our illusions to shreds, forced us to know the truth.
The CROWD applauds at the mention of DANIEL’s online show.
SOPHIE
Right here! Where I’m standing now! He knew I was wrong, and he walked in this light and up to this microphone to stop me. We laughed at him. We couldn’t dare believe what he was saying. But then I watched his show last night…
The CROWD again applauds at the mention of DANIEL.
SOPHIE
…yeah, I watched his show just like all of you. But I didn’t watch a recording. I watched it live. Yeah, live. I experienced everything with Daniel. We connected in some…estranged parallel universe.
SHE feels like the CROWD doesn’t understand.
SOPHIE
Yeah, whatever right?
The CROWD assures SHE’s on the right track.
SOPHIE
Anyway…he got me thinking. Exactly how many people around us aren’t real? I asked the question to everyone I saw. Are you human? Are you human?
SHE points to someone in the CROWD, who says “yes”.
SOPHIE
Are you human?
SHE points to someone else in the CROWD, who also says “yes”.
SOPHIE
You wouldn’t believe how many couldn’t answer. People I’ve talked to every day, like they were family, couldn’t answer that simple question. People, who weren’t people at all, fooled me into thinking I had shared something real. Real. Say it.
CROWD
Real.
SOPHIE
Say it again. Real!
CROWD
Real!
SOPHIE
Yeah…that’s what we’re missing; a little bit of reality. Not what we want to believe is real, but what is real. Something we can’t deny or make up. You feel me?
CROWD
Yeah!
SOPHIE
You know what I’m saying is true?
CROWD
Yeah!
SOPHIE
Then to hell with this place! We’re going outside and speaking the truth in the streets. Who cares if they don’t believe us? We didn’t believe Daniel Mason then, but we do now!
The CROWD cheers, eager to leave.
SOPHIE
Are you all ready to become martyrs?
CROWD
Yeah!
SOPHIE
Then let’s go!
SOPHIE walks out of the spotlight and with the CROWD out of the coffee shop.
SOPHIE (OS)
We’re doing it for you, Daniel.
CROWD (OS)
Daniel! Daniel! Daniel!
ACT II, SCENE III
A few days later, DANIEL is pacing up and down a dirty, neglected street. DANIEL is wearing stained clothes that are thick enough to keep HIM warm.
CANDY is an outdated Sex-Bot dressed in cheap, slutty clothing. IT’s movements are obviously robotic, hinting of a neglectful owner. Leaning on the brick wall, IT spots DANIEL and walks over with a proposition.
CANDY
Hey, my name’s Candy, but you can call me whatever you want.
DANIEL
Go away.
CANDY
Baby, you look so sweet, you’re giving me a cavity!
DANIEL
Please go away!
CANDY
If I said you were an angel, would you treat me like the devil tonight?
DANIEL
I said leave!
DANIEL pushes CANDY away. CANDY regains balance. DANIEL keeps pacing back and forth until HE sees a friend in the distance.
TOBIAS enters wearing a thick coat.
DANIEL
You found me!
TOBIAS
Do you know how hard it was to find this place? I’ve never once been to the Outskirts before, and now I know why.
DANIEL and TOBIAS have a friendly hug.
TOBIAS
A few days without living in the modern times and you smell like a trash chute?
DANIEL
I wouldn’t have dreamed of wearing such disgusting clothing, but West Seattle isn’t nearly as warm as I hoped it to be.
TOBIAS
Live here long enough and maybe the city’s renovation projects will arrive.
DANIEL
Luckily, that will be a long time away.
A Beat.
TOBIAS
Is it true?
DANIEL
I suspect you’re meaning if I destroyed the android I stole.
TOBIAS
And with an online audience?
DANIEL
That was the point.
TOBIAS
Yeah, I read your invitation to the show. “A Call to Realism! Watch this performance of truth and learn of humanity’s doomed future!” I’m amazed at how many hits you got.
DANIEL
A lot of people agree with my views.
TOBIAS
All the crazy ones!
DANIEL
They’re the ones who helped me escape the authorities, Tobias.
TOBIAS
And only sane people know how to do that?
DANIEL
Did you bring what I asked you to?
TOBIAS
Yeah, sure.
TOBIAS takes out a few books from HIS coat.
TOBIAS
I hope I bought the right books. Do you know how expensive these were?
DANIEL
Thank you. I talked to some of the local business owners out here, and I think I’ll have a job by tomorrow.
TOBIAS
Business owners out here? What kind of a job is it?
DANIEL
I’m already a criminal. Committing crimes in the Outskirts is a manner of survival.
TOBIAS
Danny, come on! You can’t survive out here.
DANIEL
Yes, I can.
TOBIAS
Oh really? Then what am I doing? Visiting on your vacation?
DANIEL
I prefer this to incarceration.
TOBIAS
You obviously haven’t seen how clean the new jails are.
CANDY notices TOBIAS and walks up to HIM.
CANDY
Can I see that label? I want to know if you were made in heaven.
DANIEL violently pushes CANDY again.
CANDY exits. DANIEL doesn’t notice.
TOBIAS
What happened to you?
DANIEL
Exactly what kind of a question is that?
TOBIAS
You never use to be this violent.
DANIEL
My brutality is the result of humanity trying to remain ignorant of its own demise. I can’t live the lie anymore.
TOBIAS
Listen, I investigated the charges filed against you, and the most you’d spend in jail is five years. Five years! It’s not that long.
DANIEL
You really believe Carl Wetsworth will
allow that to happen?
TOBIAS
The law’s the law. Anyway, why should he care? He repaired his wife a long time ago, and it’s like she was never gone.
DANIEL
She? Do you not listen to a word I say? Did you not see the wires falling out of Carolina or Judy?
TOBIAS
You remember their names?
DANIEL
What does that matter?
TOBIAS
Danny Boy, would you please—
DANIEL
Stop calling me Danny!
A Beat.
TOBIAS
I got you something else. Something I won in a poker game a long time ago.
TOBIAS takes a pistol from HIS pocket.
DANIEL
Is that a gun?
TOBIAS
Yeah, I won it from a senior citizen. He had a flush, but not a royal one.
DANIEL
I didn’t think these things even existed anymore.
TOBIAS
You know how to use one?
DANIEL
I think so.
Are You Human? Page 5
