by J. J. Sorel
AIDAN
“Aidan, if you want to maximize your bottom line, then we need to take the company off-shore.”
“I will not sack the local workforce, Jacob. We’ve had that discussion before. And who says I want to lift the bottom line, anyway? That’s your mantra.”
My business advisor removed his thick-lensed glasses and rubbed his eyes. “But, Aidan, the company is not making any profit.” He tapped his spreadsheet.
“It’s not losing either,” I said, taking a sip from my fourth cup of coffee, which was making me jumpy.
“The company only just broke even,” he countered.
I glanced down at my watch. I had another three meetings that day, and my eyes burned from lack of sleep. “Jake, now listen. Thornhill Holdings are doing well in all our other interests. Our portfolio of real estate is going through the roof, especially in New Orleans. The low-cost housing development has yielded millions in profits. The solar farms are the next part of that equation. And by using local workers, the love goes around. Don’t you get that?”
“You’re too new-age, Aidan, with this karma obsession of yours. I can see that you could make a considerable profit with Solarm. But using locally sourced materials and labor will drag up costs.”
“We’re going around in circles,” I said, not hiding my annoyance. Jacob was an astute man, who, having guided me wisely over the years, had helped make me very rich. “You know my philosophy—help those in need while making money from acquisitions that don’t cause undue pain to local communities. The biotech investments are going through the roof, as are the medical marijuana stocks you so wisely advised me to pump millions into. We’re sitting pretty, Jake. If Solarm is breaking even, then that’s a decent result.”
My phone lit up. I glanced down and smiling back at me was the angel that had stolen my senses and ability to concentrate. Her wide brown eyes were so innocent, yet so seductive. Blood charged through me again as I lost myself in that face. And those luscious tits spilling out—fuck, my cock lengthened. “Will that be all for now?” I asked.
“Sure. We’ll catch up soon.”
I watched Jake close the door behind him and took a deep breath while stretching out my arms. My next appointment with Brad, my attorney, wasn’t for another thirty minutes. I couldn’t stop looking at Clarissa’s face. Her eyes were so mesmerizing it brought it all back. I thought about how she felt in my arms with those soft voluptuous curves. The memory of being inside of her caused my cock to thicken again.
I’d broken every rule in the book. Never fuck an employee. Never fuck a virgin.
But I’d lost my head. Her beauty had drugged me. That blue gown, her grace, her voluptuous body. And to add to that impossible list, she was sensitive, intelligent, and cultivated.
I’d wanted her from the moment I saw her on the beach. Those shapely long legs, her full breasts, those succulent nipples that stretched out provocatively from her swimsuit, making my cock ache and go rock-hard in an instant.
I couldn’t take my eyes away from my phone. It was her eyes that captivated me the most—innocently sweet, yet full of desire and promise. Her black, wild hair led me to that pouting cleavage. I licked my lips, remembering how her tits had fallen all over my hands. My balls were blue from the memory.
Two weeks was way too long. I needed to hold her sooner. I ran my finger over the image of her ravishing lips. My aching cock pushed against my trousers as I relived her drenching cunt, so tight that my senses were starved of reason. And her rapturous moans when she came. I’d been somewhere no man had ever been. That did my head in on so many levels.
My obsession to have Clarissa had started the moment I saw her through the tinted glass in that tight-fitting skirt. Even her modest buttoned-up shirt had done little to hide her delectable body. And that thick black hair swept up in a messy bun, her swanlike neck, those full fleshy lips, and my God, those large brown eyes.
I transferred Clarissa’s photo onto my laptop and was about to reply to her message when my phone rang. It was Bryce. What was I to say to him? We had such a complex relationship. Had it been anybody else, I would have fucked him off ages ago.
I picked up the phone. “Bryce.” I kept my tone cold and professional.
“Aidan, look, man, umm…I’m sorry about the other night. I’d been drinking, and well, your new PA is scrumptious, even though she’s become a ballbreaker.”
“Ballbreaker?” My fists clenched.
“She set up this new system. I’m meant to report all my expenditures. It’s time-fucking-consuming and shitting me.” Bryce sounded as if he’d been drinking again—not unusual, considering he was an alcoholic.
“That was my idea, Bryce. The losses are running into the thousands at the expense of programs. I can’t talk now. I’ll be back in two weeks.”
“Are you in New York?”
“Yes.” I hoped Bryce wouldn’t offer to catch up. The last time, he’d stayed at my apartment, and I had to put up with his erratic, wild behavior.
“Why don’t I fly down? We can hang out. There’s that Jacqueline babe, remember—the one with the big tits?”
“I’ve got too much going on,” I said, keeping my tone patient despite being pissed. “And about Clarissa—I don’t want you going near her.” My voice went up a decibel.
“Why? Do you want to fuck her, or have you already?”
“Listen Bryce, I’m losing it here. You’re out of control. I know about your gambling habit and that you’re stealing from the fund.”
“You can’t get rid of me, and you know it. I get it she’s a fucking goddess…that body, those tits, those big eyes.”
“Listen, you fucker, you stay away from her. I’ve got to go.” I nearly threw my phone against the wall in frustration. I had to rid myself of this jerk.
The buzzer roused me out of my troubled state. “Mr. Thornhill, Brad Russell is here.”
“Thanks, Jane. Just give me five minutes and then send him in… oh, and can you get me some lunch?”
I put down the phone and stared at the million-dollar view of Central Park. I’d chosen the apartment, which doubled as an office and home, for its knockout view. Disinclined towards confined spaces, I needed an open view of trees and nature, which this apartment delivered. My timing had been just right for the coveted penthouse suite in Fifth Avenue. It had been love at first sight when I walked into the lobby of the 1926 building, with its marble entry and art deco designs.
What message could I send Clarissa? My stomach was a knot of nerves. Bryce had unhinged me. I took a deep breath and wrote, Thank you for the photo. It’s beautiful. You are beautiful. Aidan.
I picked up the phone. “Jane, can you make a Skype appointment with Kieren Tyler? See if he can fit me in after four today. Thanks.”
Boy, did I need a session with my psychologist. He was the only person, apart from Greta and my dad, whom I could turn to. My feelings for Clarissa would have to remain a secret from Greta for the moment. I didn’t like it. But I’d promised my aunt, after that regrettable tangle with Amy, never to mix work with pleasure.
Clarissa was something entirely different. She’d gotten to me. I’d never experienced that before. I’d never had this unquenchable desire for someone. From that first day on the beach, I was under her spell.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
The session with Brad went seamlessly. The ensuing meetings were brief and straightforward. Tomorrow was the big day. I was about to embark on a major project, leasing land from retiring farmers in order to install wind turbines and solar panels. Renewable energy was a deep passion of mine, which to date had yielded some unexpected profits, especially from my investment in battery-operated scooters and cars.
“Jane, can you come in for a moment?” Apart from Greta, Jane was the jewel in the Thornhill Holdings crown. She ran everything single-handedly from New York. She was forty years old, and I suspected she was gay. That didn’t worry me. If anything, it was a refreshing change.
In the beginning, after my army days, I’d enjoyed the sport of fucking. My appetite was as healthy as any young man’s. But one day I woke up to myself. Suddenly I found women trying to pick me up irritating. Perhaps I was old-fashioned, but I had developed a more subtle approach to mating. It was intelligent conversation that mattered most, and of course, breathtaking beauty like Clarissa’s didn’t hurt.
Jane entered my office, dressed in her usual gray corporate skirt and white shirt. She never veered away from that look, which I appreciated. I liked my employees to look the part.
“Jane, can you arrange a large bunch of roses. Uh…” What should they be? Red…for passion? Or pink…a gentler, sensitive approach?
“Make them red. And make sure they’re fragrant. Spare no cost.” I scribbled out the details and handed them over.
I gleaned a faint smile. This was a first. Jane took the slip of paper and nodded. Good, professional as usual. The problem was at the other end. Would there be questions at the estate? The envelope was marked Private. At worst, Greta would assume that Clarissa had an admirer.
All these potential issues brought to light the cumbersome nature of this romance. I’d have to deal with it somehow because to discontinue was not an option.
“That’ll be all for today, Jane.”
I poured myself a whisky and called Kieren, my psychologist. He picked up straight away. “Hello, Aidan. How are you?”
“Well… you know. I’m calling you.”
“I take it you’re in New York. How’s all that going for you?”
Not one for small talk, I said, “I’ve met a girl.” I leaned back in my chair. I preferred his LA office with that impressive aquarium that always put me in a calm frame of mind. Instead, I had his placid face on my laptop.
Kieren was a quiet, even-tempered man who never rushed me. He had been my shrink after I left the forces, and I’d never strayed. Being middle-aged, he was paternal without being patronizing.
“That sounds like a healthy development,” said Kieren with a gentle smile.
I sighed. “Hmm…I suppose it is. Only Clarissa is my new PA. She only started two weeks ago.” I cleared my throat and moved my head to ease the tension in my neck.
“Oh, and you’re worried it’s a repeat of the Amy incident?”
“In many ways, I’m not. Clarissa is nothing like that. Amy threw herself at me. She was drunk, and I was vulnerable. I didn’t desire her like I do Clarissa.”
“Clarissa is a younger woman?”
“She is. Not that that’s the reason why I’m…she’s graceful, gentle, a beautiful woman whose virginity I took,” I said, surprising myself at the last admission. I released my clenched, sodden palms.
“Was she drunk?” he asked in his tranquilizing monotone.
“No. I mean, we’d had wine. I spoke to her at length about it. Clarissa wanted me to be her first.” My voice cracked. “She’s so desirable... this is a first for me, Kieren.” I paused to steady my breath. “I’ve never felt like this before.”
“When did it happen?”
“Last night,” I said, wiping my brow.
“It’s very recent, then.” He leaned back in his leather seat. “Tell me, what are your emotions now? Regret, longing, or the dread of having to face her?”
“Longing. None of the others,” I murmured. The answer came quicker than a heartbeat. “That’s the thing. My need to see her is overwhelming. And I’m here for two weeks…” I stopped myself, realizing how weak, even stupid I must have sounded.
“It does seem like you’ve fallen for this girl. That’s not strange. Attraction, desire can be so intense that it sweeps one away. It happened to me. It’s a totally natural and healthy reaction.”
I collected my thoughts. There was much I wanted to say. How was I to say it?
“Tell me, are you scared of losing her?” As usual, he’d nailed it.
I sighed. “Yes. I won’t be seeing her for two weeks. And I keep wondering if I’ve unlocked something in her.” What I really wanted to say was that Clarissa was so wet, so turned-on that I may have unleashed sexual need in her. Out of respect for Clarissa, I kept that to myself. All I could do was remind myself that the sexy angel who’d moaned in my arms as I entered her was a shy, unassuming, gracious girl.
“You need to learn to trust your judgement more, Aidan. She’s warm and good-natured, you say. She’s also inexperienced with men. And although you unleashed passionate yearning in her, I’m more than certain she won’t be running off to another so soon. In fact, I’m sure she’s as smitten as you are. You’re a handsome, sought-after bachelor.”
“But where to now? The thought of dating her excites me. But I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t want to give her false expectations.”
“What’s the worst thing that may happen here, Aidan?” he asked, removing his glasses.
I considered his question for a moment. “That I lose myself entirely—that I remain this unhinged and out of control. I can’t get her out of my mind,” I said, reaching for the bourbon.
“That sounds like someone who’s scared of falling in love,” said Kieren with a faint smile.
I didn’t respond. I pondered the love concept as I’d often done. “Yeah, well…you’re aware of my views on that.” I tried to do away with the cynicism but failed.
“It comes down to fear of abandonment, loss of control. Love comes with many commitments—commitments you’re frightened you will fail to meet. Perhaps it’s to do with your father not sticking around.”
“I disagree, Kieren. I don’t blame my father. Mom was a groupie. It was a casual encounter. And even if Dad wanted to hang around, my mom was a train wreck. Still is. And I don’t understand why that would enter my thinking where Clarissa’s involved. Since she’s nothing like my mother.”
“That’s right. She’s nothing like your mother. From what you say, she’s loyal, gracious, and potentially an ideal match for you. Time will only tell if that’s so.”
“But you know my views on marriage,” I said, frustrated. I combed my hair back with my sweaty palms. It was getting too long. I brushed it away from my collar. But I also recalled Clarissa running her hands through it, declaring in her sensual, breathy voice that she loved long hair on men.
“Is that mainly due to your nightmares?”
Taking a deep breath, I replied, “How is someone meant to put up with the cries, the sweat-drenched sheets?”
“Are you also thinking about Jessica?”
A shiver ran up my spine at the mention of my ex-fiancée—my old control-freak girl-friend. Now, that had been a bad choice. We were introduced at one of my earlier gala evenings. Being new to the tycoon label, I’d been impressed by her old-money pedigree. She was also well-educated and quick-witted, which were her finer points. But I just couldn’t stomach her bossiness and spoiled-brat behavior, not to mention her addiction to cosmetic surgery.
“I dodged a bullet there for sure,” I said, regretting the metaphor as it brought back the reason I had a shrink in the first place. “News is she’s back, circling around.”
“Oh? And how do you feel about that?”
There was that question again. Fuck, if my over-active, sleep-deprived brain could find the answer to that, the real Aidan Thornhill might finally reveal himself. “I haven’t given it much thought, to be honest, only…” I pushed my hair back from my face.
“Only what, Aidan?” He sat forward, facing me.
“Not sure, Kieren. I suppose… I hope she doesn’t resurface. I heard she’s back in LA. But getting back to what we were saying earlier, I can’t compare the two women. I wasn’t gaga about Jessica the way I am for Clarissa. It is completely different.”
“The right woman will heal. Love is healing. She’ll be understanding and patient. These days, there’s more awareness of post-traumatic stress disorder suffered by ex-soldiers. Parasomnia is more common than you think. It is treatable. If need be, there are sleeping pills you can take to de-activate the REM
cycle, thus defusing the nightmares. I’ve mentioned that before.”
“I’m hardly likely to make a suitable partner,” I said, my typical pessimism resurfacing.
“I actually think you’ll make someone a brilliant husband and father. You’re reliable, patient, and generous—perfect attributes.”
I exhaled long and hard. “I don’t know. I’m broken in many ways.”
“You’re improving all the time, Aidan. You’re not the same young, wounded man I first encountered six years ago. You’ve come a long way.”
I pictured the shaking mess that had been me at twenty-five—defensive, volatile, hating shrinks. Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without him. “But it still leaves me with the dilemma of what to do with Clarissa. She’s my employee, and an excellent one at that. Probably the best we’ve ever had. I’m messed-up over this, Kieren.”
“It’s simpler than you think. Enjoy getting to know her. Go with the flow. Don’t over-think it. And by all means, never say never,” he said, concluding our session.
His was the voice of reason, and as with all my sessions with Kieren, I walked away calmer. The knot finally left my chest. “Thanks for fitting me in. I’ll see you back in LA.”
I closed down the screen and headed up to my bedroom. It had been a busy day.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CLARISSA
“You can’t go back to Malibu to get your charger, Clary. I’ll let you borrow my phone if you need to make a call,” said Tabitha, zipping up her new red pants. She was still dressed in her bra, the silk blouse I’d gifted her earlier that day dangling from her hand.
“But what if Aidan’s trying to contact me?” I said, staring glum-faced at my dead phone.
“God, Clarissa. He’s texted you twice a day, which in my book adds up to one very keen man. It won’t do any harm to leave him hanging for one day.” She raised a well-plucked eyebrow.
Tabitha buttoned up her blouse and turned to inspect her butt in the mirror. “What do you reckon?” Tabitha was shining. Her new boyfriend had brought a glow to her cheeks. Her green eyes were clear, and her long blond hair was full of bounce.
