by Leddy Harper
This would definitely go on the list of things I prayed to God that I wouldn’t remember in the morning.
I sat on the edge of the bed while I waited for him to finish in the bathroom. A small part of me was nervous, but only a very small part; the alcohol took care of the rest. And for a split second, I wondered if I had enough time to run to the kitchen for another drink before he came out. That thought was squashed when the sound of a flushing toilet filled the room. I glanced up and caught the sight of Finn leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest while slowly shaking his head in feigned disappointment.
At least, I hoped it was feigned.
“Come here, Finny Fanny.” I patted the spot next to me on the mattress and pouted. “I’ve missed you.”
“Well, I guess I no longer have to question what you’ve been doing in here.” He noticed the empty tumbler on the floor where I’d left it and rolled his eyes. “How much have you had to drink?”
“I’ve only had two, officer,” I said while holding up all five fingers.
Finn laughed and shuffled his feet along the floor until he made it to the bed and took a seat next to me. “First of all, don’t ever call me Finny or Fanny ever again.”
“Oh, is that like a family nickname that you’d like to forget?”
He smiled and shook his head. “Secondly, why’d you leave me alone with your family for the last two hours? And why have you been hiding out in here?”
“Well, those answers kind of go hand in hand…if you know what I mean.”
He stared at me for a moment and then said, “No, Mady, I don’t know what you mean.”
“There’s no way my dad would’ve let me hang around outside. That’s the guys’ turf.” I used a deeper voice to mimic my dad, even though I sounded nothing like him. “He would’ve told me to go see what the women needed help with, and considering you can’t fit one more body in that kitchen, I thought it made more sense to get a drink and chill. Plus, I don’t like helping with the food prep. So, I’ve been in here playing games on my phone while enjoying a few banana coladas.”
“Gee, thanks for sending me into the lions’ den and then taking off.”
“Oh, it couldn’t have been that bad.” Even as those words rolled off my tongue, I knew it was a lie. My dad wasn’t an asshole by any means, and neither were the rest of my relatives. But I knew going into this that they wanted to vet him, so to speak, to make sure he wasn’t going to take advantage of me. So while I trusted that they would be nice to him, I expected there to be some awkwardness. And maybe a little tension during the rapid-fire questions sent his way.
He just gave me a side-eye and grumbled to himself.
“You were out there for a while, so I assumed it went well.”
“How would you know how long I was out there? You’ve been in here.”
I balked, turning on the bed to face him. “That’s not true. I had to go back to the kitchen several times to refill my drink. I checked on you then, and you seemed fine. If I thought you were uncomfortable, I would’ve gone to save you. But you looked like you were enjoying their company, so I didn’t want to interrupt.” Some of my words sounded slurred, but I couldn’t figure out which ones.
“Enjoying their company? Mady, they spent most of the time asking extremely personal questions while trying to pass it off as easy conversation. Which, by the way, they’re really talented with that entire process. And the rest of the time was spent listening to how much your dad loves boxing. If this is how they treat your assistant, I’d hate to know how they treat the guys you date.”
I tossed my head back and laughed. “Oh, Finn, don’t be silly. They don’t meet my boyfriends. You’re actually the first guy I’ve brought around since…freshman year of college.”
“Your parents think you’ve been single since you were eighteen?”
“I’m sure they know better than that, but I never tell them anything.” While studying his profile, I couldn’t help but notice just how good looking he was. Not in the typical sense, though. More rugged and masculine. Finn made other guys look like pansies.
Taking in the sight of him reminded me of a conversation I’d had with the girls not too long ago. It was about physical and sexual attraction, and the chemical response your body naturally had to certain people. I’d definitely felt both before, but never like this. Finn had a way of turning me on so much that I had a hard time not acting on it. Especially since coming home from the ranch. The ache he unknowingly caused between my legs had me wanting to do things I never would’ve thought of before him.
But now, thanks to the coladas that warmed my insides, I didn’t have the wherewithal to stop myself from acting on it. If anything, it spurred me into action.
I pushed myself up on the bed with my knee and then swung my other leg over his lap until I straddled his thighs. It must’ve caught him by surprise—hell, it’d caught me by surprise, too—because he grabbed my hips and stared at me with unblinking eyes, unspoken words hanging from his parted lips.
With my forehead pressed to his, I whispered, “If I would’ve known that this would end once we left the ranch, I would’ve stayed there a little longer, just until I’d gotten enough of you to last for a while.”
His fingers dug into my lower back, causing me to roll myself into him until the deep sound of desire rumbled through his chest. “Oh, yeah? And how long would that have taken?”
“A minimum of sixty years.”
Finn leaned back just enough so we could see each other, and the smile he wore on his lips made me lace my fingers behind his neck and pull him closer for a kiss. It was short-lived, though, because the second our tongues touched, a noise down the hall had him throwing me off him.
Thank God the bed was there to catch my fall.
“We can’t do this here,” he said as he finished removing me from his lap, setting me next to him on the bed where I was before. “Your family will kill me.”
I giggled softly, finding his paranoia cute. “No they won’t. They don’t even know we’re in here. Not to mention, they have no reason to come into this room.”
“Wanna bet?” He raised his brows in a challenge. “This was where your mom told me to go since your sister was in the other bathroom. There’s no telling who else will come in to use this toilet if the other one is occupied.”
“Then I’ll lock the door.”
I didn’t think his eyes could get any bigger, but they did. “That will definitely lead them to suspect something, especially if they see the two of us leave the room. I don’t need your family thinking I’m more than your assistant.”
Those words felt like a punch to the gut, but thankfully, I’d had enough to drink to numb most of the sting. “But just think how exciting it would be to fuck in here, wondering if we’ll get caught.” My hands roved over his midsection, and when they moved lower, he scurried away.
When he’d scooted as far down the bed as he could without falling off, trying to move away from my not-so-very subtle advances, he stood and began to pace in front of me. “Absolutely not. That doesn’t sound the least bit exciting.”
I hummed and leaned back on the mattress as if lounging in the sun. “I didn’t take you for the scaredy-cat type. I thought you were a man who lived on the edge.”
Finn stopped pacing and faced me, clearly offended by my remark, which was exactly what I was hoping for. Except, rather than prove me wrong, he continued to argue his point. “Mady, scenes from The Sopranos are playing on repeat in my head, and I really don’t care to wear bricks tied to my ankles while swimming with the fishes. If that makes me a scaredy-cat, then so be it.”
This had to be the funniest conversation I’d ever had regarding my family. “Oh, you’ve got nothing to worry about, Finn. The lakes around here are way too shallow for that. You have a better chance of winding up in a concrete mixer.”
“That makes things so much better.” He rolled his eyes and lifted his hands in the air. “Either way, I’
m not interested.”
Something about that comment stung, although I wasn’t sure if it was the implication or the alcohol making me overthink it all. And against my better judgment, I asked, “In me or getting caught?”
“What?” Confusion marred his ruggedly handsome face.
“You said you’re not interested. Did you mean you’re not interested in me?”
He stood completely still, like a stone statue, not uttering a single word. His chest heaved the longer he stared at me; nevertheless, he stayed quiet. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he shook it off and bowed his head, running his hands through his short hair.
“Yeah…that’s what I thought,” I whispered to myself, fighting against the negative feelings that surged through me. I’d assumed as much after returning from the ranch, so this didn’t really come as much of a surprise. But still, the sobering words were hard to hear.
He stopped me from getting off the bed when he said, “I don’t really think that it’s the right time or place to have this conversation. You’re drunk. I’d rather talk about this when you’re sober, and preferably, not around your entire family.”
As much as I wanted to argue with him that this wasn’t my entire family, I decided against it. I’d made that argument enough for one day. Instead, I nodded and pulled myself to my slightly unsteady feet. “Yeah, you’re right. Maybe we can add it to our schedule for this week.”
Finn didn’t respond; he simply offered a curt nod while maintaining eye contact.
I began to feel increasingly uncomfortable the longer he stared. The way he stood there, regarding me as I tried to steady myself on my feet, made me feel like he was scrutinizing my every move. I’d only had enough to drink to smooth out the rough edges, not nearly enough to suppress the heightened insecurities caused by his unspoken judgment.
There was only so much silence I could take, so I broke it by saying, “And by the way, this is maybe half of my family. Not all of them.” I managed to stop myself before I stuck out my tongue, proving just how intoxicated I was.
At least he laughed—well, he smiled, and something vaguely similar to a huffed chuckle came out. “All right, Mady. I’ll keep that in mind. But for now, I think it’s best if we get back to the party before anyone comes looking for us. I don’t want to risk getting caught in here with you. I doubt I’ll be able to fend off your dad’s boxing moves.”
“I couldn’t agree more. Let me get my cup, and I’ll meet you out there.”
Finn hesitated by the door, but eventually, he opened it and left the room. As much as I wanted another drink to help drown out my embarrassment, I didn’t care to leave the comfort of this space anytime soon. So, I sank onto the floor with my back against the wall and closed my eyes.
My head began to pound when I opened my eyes, so I quickly shut them again.
I couldn’t figure out why the sun was shining through the window so much; I always closed my blinds before going to sleep. But as I laid there and thought about last night, I couldn’t even remember climbing into bed, let alone my routine beforehand.
My tongue felt thick and dry, sticking to the roof of my mouth. But when I reached for my cup of water on my nightstand, I realized it wasn’t there. Apparently, I didn’t do anything before passing out. And when I pulled the covers away to get out of bed, I discovered I hadn’t even changed out of my clothes.
I sat up and let my feet slide off the mattress and onto the cold hardwood floor, but I didn’t get up. I needed a moment to let the room quit spinning before I attempted to go anywhere. While I sat there, trying to calm my stomach and pounding head, snippets of my uncle’s party flashed through my mind. More accurately, the part when I had come onto Finn in one of the back bedrooms.
A groan tore through my chest as I covered my face with my hands, utterly ashamed and praying that Finn wouldn’t remember any part of it. As much as I valued him as my assistant, after yesterday, I wouldn’t be too upset if he quit. That would save me the embarrassment of seeing him on a daily basis. Luckily, it was Sunday, which meant I wouldn’t have to face Finn until at least tomorrow morning.
I finally dragged myself out of bed and shuffled down the hallway toward the kitchen. I needed coffee if I had any hope of surviving the day. Then again, it might’ve been a better option to just stay in bed and sink back into oblivion.
And when I made it to the foot of the hallway, I cursed myself for not picking that option.
Finn was asleep on my couch. Well, technically, not anymore. I’d screamed, before recognizing who it was, which had awoken him. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and stifling a yawn while I stood stock-still, likely looking like a hot mess.
“What time is it?” he mumbled, his voice rough and deep. It made me think about the ranch and how he sounded first thing in the morning. It was so sexy, and for a second, made me want to curl onto the couch with him…until I remembered last night’s rejection.
Clearly, it was too late to sneak back to my room and pretend to still be asleep. So I put one foot in front of the other, keeping my head held high as I made my way to the kitchen. “I have no idea. Too early, that’s all I know.”
He must’ve checked his phone, because he laughed and said, “It’s after ten.”
Even though he couldn’t see me from where he was, I rolled my eyes. “What are you even doing here? I can’t imagine that couch is comfortable enough to sleep on.”
“You’d be surprised. At home, I tend to fall asleep in the living room while watching TV, so I’m kind of used to it.” His voice grew closer, letting me know he moved toward the kitchen. “You were pretty drunk last night, so I decided to stay and make sure you were all right.”
“Well, as you can see, I am, so I guess that means your job is done.” I turned around and caught him perched on one of the barstools. “Although, I’m not sure how you expected to know if I was okay or not from the couch.”
He ran his hands over his face, clearly put off by my attitude, but I didn’t care. I was embarrassed, and he was in my house. Then there was the fact that he all but told me that he wasn’t interested in me, so really, my reaction was justified.
“I also hung around to talk, because I knew if I didn’t, you would spend all day avoiding me. And I didn’t want that to happen.” His eyes pleaded with mine, except I didn’t know what he was begging for.
Feeling a little awkward, I turned back around and pulled a mug from the cabinet, then got the sugar and milk out while waiting for the coffee maker to finish. “There’s nothing to talk about, Finn.”
“If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine, but I have a few things I’d like to say.”
Assuming that meant he wasn’t leaving anytime soon, I grabbed him a mug, too.
“You asked me a question yesterday, and I wasn’t able to answer you.” Hopefully, he wasn’t referring to the time I’d asked to hold his dick while he peed. Then again, that might’ve been easier to deal with than the extent of his interest in me—or disinterest. “This has gone on too long already, and I think it’s best if we just stop pretending like there’s not a giant elephant in the room.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Finn,” I said while pouring the hot drink into both mugs, keeping my back to him. But I knew I’d have to face him eventually; it’d be too obvious if I handed him his cup without turning around.
“You asked me if I’m interested in you.”
Well, that was enough to make me slowly turn on my heel and meet his stare.
“Yeah, I figured that would jog your memory.”
I finished preparing our coffees and carefully slid one across the counter to him. There was no point in hiding my face; he’d already seen the blush that had taken over my cheeks, refusing to go away. So, I stood there with my hip propped against the counter, my mug close to my lips while I blew on the steaming liquid, and my eyes set on his, daring him to continue without any prodding from me.
“Why don’t we take this to the couch?”
he suggested.
“I’m quite comfortable here.”
“Stop being so defiant, Mady. You’re making this more difficult than it has to be.”
I shrugged and took a sip of my piping-hot drink, trying to pretend I hadn’t just scorched my tongue in the process. “I think you’ll find that you’re making this difficult, Finn. If you remember correctly, I’m not the one who wants to have this conversation. You are.”
“You wanted to have it yesterday?”
“No…I asked a yes-or-no question. That’s hardly a conversation.”
“Fine. Suit yourself. I’m going to the couch.” He stood and took his mug to the living room.
Really, it was pointless, considering I could see him from the kitchen. The only thing that stood between us was a table. But at least he sat on the sofa so that his back was to me, preventing me from seeing his face while he explained all the reasons he wasn’t interested in me.
I’d just taken another sip when he called out, “I’ve wanted nothing more than to continue what we started at the ranch.” It made me choke and cough, burning every inch of my mouth and throat as I struggled to swallow. Although, once I finally calmed down, I realized he hadn’t budged, not even to make sure I was all right.
For all he knew, I could be dead on the floor right now.
“If you’d like to continue this discussion, I’d really appreciate it if you joined me in here, so I don’t have to keep shouting over my shoulder.” This must’ve been his plan all along, and it made me wonder if what he said was even true. The only way to find out was to go to him, so I did—begrudgingly.
I huffed as I took a seat on the opposite end of the sofa. “Fine, I’m listening.”
Finn turned toward me, holding me captive with his intense stare. “I mean it, Mads. I didn’t want to end it when we left, but when I came over a couple days later, it seemed like you weren’t interested. So I didn’t say anything about it.”
“That’s because you’d made it very clear that you were over it. I asked you to stay when you dropped me off, and you said no. Then I didn’t hear from you at all the next day. What was I supposed to think?”
