“What happened?” Luciana asked, her fingertips trailing Sam’s hand, moving towards her wrist.
“When?”
“Lucia.” The younger woman offered Sam a sad smile. “We don’t have to talk about it…”
“She was out of the country on a business trip. Lucia was an architect.”
“She looked like an architect.” Luciana smiled.
“She was supposed to come home the night before but her flight was cancelled. Bad weather. She decided to just stay another night rather than sit around the airport for hours on end. Well, I suggested it.”
“Okay…”
“The hotel…they didn’t have the relevant precautions in place. The sprinkler system was dud.”
“Shit.” Luciana’s gaze fell to their hands. “I’m sorry.”
“She was on the thirty-fifth floor.” Sam sighed. “An electrical fault caused the fire, and she couldn’t get out.”
“Sam…”
“If the sprinkler system worked, she would still be here.”
Sam glanced up at Luciana, her bottom lip trembling. She appreciated her sympathy, her emotion too, but it wasn’t necessary.
“Hey, it’s okay.” She squeezed Luciana’s hand. “It’s been two years. I’m okay.”
“You said there was a collapse?”
“Yeah. An hour into the fire, as I watched it unfold on TV, the news reporter said there had been a collapse inside.”
“Nobody should be in that situation.” Luciana gritted her teeth, appalled by what she was hearing. “I spend my days instructing people on how to be safe, how to prevent fires, and nobody should be in that fucking situation.”
“The company was fined millions,” Sam said. “It doesn’t bring her back, but they’re no longer functioning so they can’t hurt anyone else.”
“Where did it happen?”
“France. She was designing a new building. She’d gone to confirm the final plans, check everything was in order. Lucia was big on safety.”
“And the lack of it killed her…” Luciana sighed, trying to keep her anger in check. Deep down, she wanted to rip the company a new one, but the damage was done long ago. Long before she showed up in Sam’s life. “I’m so sorry you went through what you did. Because of incompetency and a lack of care, your world fell apart.”
“I try not to think about it,” Sam admitted, a lump rising in her throat. “It keeps me awake if I do.”
“Nightmares?”
“At times…”
“Have you thought about speaking to someone?” Luciana asked. “It may help.”
“I’m talking to you right now.” Sam squeezed Luciana’s hand, shifting and leaning against her. “I feel safe talking to you.”
“Then I want you to do it more often.” Luciana kissed the top of her head, sending Sam’s heart rate through the roof. “Whenever you need to.”
“I really don’t want it to become a part of this.” Sam tilted her head back, finding Luciana’s deep blue eyes staring back at her. “This…it’s new for me. I want to feel it as I should.”
“I appreciate that.” Luciana smiled. “But I also don’t want you to feel like you can't have days when you think about her. About what you had. I won't be offended, Sam.”
“I know.”
“I’m not here to replace anything you had.”
Sam’s entire body fluttered. She sat up, turned to face Luciana, and climbed into her lap.
“I’m here to make you happy, but not replace your wife.”
“You.” Sam smiled, leaning in and caressing Luciana’s cheek. “You really are something special.”
Sam knew Luciana wasn’t like most women in the city. For a twenty-five-year-old, she was mature. She had likely seen things nobody should see in her line of work, her career, and it was in this moment that Sam realised Luciana wasn’t just a young woman who wanted fun. As she looked into her eyes, Sam saw honesty and trust.
“I could say the same about you.” Luciana leaned into Sam’s touch, her eyes closing. “You were just supposed to be a client, Sam.”
“I know.” Sam’s breath washed over Luciana’s lips. “And you were just supposed to be dinner and conversation. An arrangement.”
“Are you sure that’s not what you want anymore? Are you sure you want me for me?”
“I don’t think I've been sure about anything in a long time.” Sam’s bottom lip collided with Luciana’s. “But you?” She pulled back, staring directly into blue pools. “I'm sure about you.”
“I could get used to this.” Luciana gripped the back of Sam’s neck, pulling her in close. “Evenings. Weekends. Whenever I can get you alone.”
Sam smiled into a kiss. “Perhaps that will happen.”
Thirteen
The silence of the morning slowly brought Sam from her deep sleep, a smile playing at the corners of her lips as she sat up and glanced out of the window. Another gorgeous day. Giving herself a moment to think, to feel, Sam remained in her spot as she ran her fingers through her hair. Last night played over in her mind like a dream, her only regret being that Luciana wasn’t lying next to her in bed. She’d thought about it…about inviting her in, but something stopped her. Perhaps it was the idea of taking things slowly, potentially the worry of being blown off, or it could have been the fact that Luciana was almost sleeping last night before Sam decided that it was time to head off to bed. Her only hope this morning was that Luciana would still be here.
Thankfully, she hadn’t decided to go home last night, giving Sam the opportunity to offer her the spare room, but as the sun approached, beaming through her bedroom window…the prospect of not sharing her morning with Luciana sent a wave of sadness through Sam. Her time spent with her last night had been thrilling and incredibly satisfying. Not only had they discussed what they both expected, Sam had relaxed in another woman’s arms. A woman who didn’t want or expect the world and a woman who understood her need to process this before going too far. That, to Sam, was everything.
If she was being honest with herself, hearing Luciana talk about not being good enough for her hurt. Sam wasn’t that kind of person. She didn’t compare. Of course, she never thought anyone could compare to her wife, but as the days passed since meeting Luciana, she was slowly beginning to realise that it wasn’t about comparing. It wasn’t about expecting the things her wife once gave her. Ultimately, it was about being happy and fulfilled in a relationship. Lucia was gone, Sam was more than aware of that fact, so now she could choose to push away a woman who genuinely cared about her or grab it with both hands. As the day began outside her window, Sam chose the latter.
Standing, she lifted her arms above her head, stretching from side to side. Her sleep had gone uninterrupted and, in this moment, she wanted to cancel all plans at the office and spend the day with Luciana. It wasn’t possible since Luciana was due at the station tonight, but Sam could change meetings around at the office and grab every moment she possibly could today with the beautiful blonde outside her bedroom door. God, I hope she’s still here.
Sam left her bedroom, her breath quickening as she watched a tall, slender body move through her kitchen with an ease she, herself, didn’t possess in this apartment. Oh, wow. Sam held back, leaning against the wall at the end of the small corridor leading from her bedroom. Watching, delighted, Sam wrapped her arms around herself and smiled. She looks so good here. Brown eyes trailed a sculpted body, a Buddha tattoo covering the expanse of the back of Luciana’s right thigh, catching her attention. The younger woman stood in Sam’s kitchen wearing nothing but a tank top and a pair of boxer briefs. Every fibre within Sam screamed to move closer, to touch the body she was admiring from the other side of the kitchen, but her bare feet remained glued to their spot. Though she ached to touch Luciana’s soft, silk-like skin, she couldn’t. Damn it!
Luciana hummed along to the radio as it played low on the central island, her hips gyrating as she did. Sam couldn’
t help but bite her lip, pleased by her morning so far. Her morning and the woman sharing it with her. Knowing she couldn’t stand around silently for much longer, Sam cleared her throat and moved into the open space.
“Oh.” Luciana jumped, glancing over her shoulder. “Good morning.”
“Morning.” Sam smiled shyly, approaching the coffee machine. “Can I get you some?”
“I’d love some.” Luciana smiled. “I tried to figure out how to work it but thought it was best to leave it alone.”
“It’s really not that hard.” Sam shook her head. “Come here, I’ll show you.”
Luciana leapt towards her, the proximity of her body sending Sam’s heart rate soaring. “I’m watching.” A strong hand settled on Sam’s hip, Luciana’s chin resting on her shoulder from behind. She’s trying, I’ll give her that. “Hit me with it.”
“What did you want?” Sam tapped the tablet beside the coffee machine.
“Just uh… Americano?” Luciana tried to remove the image of Sam’s bare legs from her mind. The silk robe, it did everything to her body.
“Strength?”
“I’m easy.” Luciana squeezed Sam’s hip, smiling. “Whatever you usually have… I’ll have the same.”
“Coming up.” Sam calmed her breathing as she tried to keep the biggest smile from forming on her mouth. She prepared coffee for them both, Luciana’s body still pressing against hers.
“You know…” Luciana wrapped her arms around Sam’s waist, pulling her body back against her. “…you look beautiful in the morning.”
“Thank you.”
“You look beautiful every minute of the day, but morning?” Luciana turned her head and pressed a kiss to Sam’s neck. “Perfect.”
“Okay, you really have to stop that.” Sam released a deep breath, her hands settling on Luciana’s. “As much as I love hearing you say those things… I have to shower.” Ultimately, Sam wanted to drag Luciana down the hallway and worship her forevermore, but she couldn’t. Not only had she insisted on taking things slowly, but she also didn’t have enough time to truly give her the attention she deserved.
“Shame.” Luciana untangled herself, sighing. “Thought we could share breakfast.”
“We can.” Sam turned to find a dejected look on Luciana’s face. “Sorry, I didn’t—”
“You don’t have to explain.” Luciana held up her hand as she leaned back against the counter. “Enjoy your shower. I’ll dress and wait here for you.”
“Luce—”
“Go and shower, Sam. Breakfast will be ready when you are.” Luciana turned, busying herself in the kitchen. Sam wanted to apologise, wanted to run her hands all over the body in front of her, but she wasn’t sure she could let Luciana go once she did. Her job, her career, the brigade, would be on hold for the rest of the week if Sam had her way.
“I’d like to share breakfast with you first…” Sam chanced, unsure of the mood Luciana was in. “If you don’t have to rush off?”
“I have somewhere to be at midday, but other than that… I’m all yours.”
I wish that was true.
“Great.” Sam ran her fingers through her hair. “So, what’s for breakfast?”
“Whatever you have in.” Luciana laughed. “I may be able to rustle up a breakfast, but I still need ingredients to do so…”
“Right, yeah.” Something about Luciana’s attitude seemed to shift, her flirtatious nature from only moments ago disintegrating into thin air. Sam knew it was her reluctance to enjoy the attention she was receiving that had caused the shift in the room, but she wasn’t used to this life anymore. She wasn’t accustomed to having someone in her home, telling her everything she wanted to hear and cooking breakfast. “So…toast?” Sam arched an eyebrow. “I’m not sure I have anything else in…”
“Whatever works for you.” Luciana nodded, her back once again to Sam. “I’ll have a bigger lunch later.”
“What time are you at the station?” Sam asked, genuinely interested as she climbed up onto a kitchen stool.
“Eight.”
“Long shift?”
“Usual twelve-hour shift.” Luciana was aware of the fact she was being short with Sam, but she couldn’t for the life of her figure this woman out. One minute, she was doing and saying whatever the hell she pleased…but in the next, she was pulling away. Backing off. Doing anything other than what Luciana wanted her to be doing. It wasn't sex, that wasn't what she wanted, but she did want to have the opportunity to hold Sam when she woke this morning. To whisper in her ear. To make her feel good. When Sam stiffened a little during their coffee preparation, it only threw her more.
“Luciana.” Sam sighed. “Is everything okay?”
“Sure, yeah.” She glanced over her shoulder, half-smiling. “Fine.”
“Something tells me that’s not true.”
“I just… I’m scared to make the wrong move with you.” Luciana braced herself against the counter, her shoulders slumping and her head dropping. “I don’t want to push anything, but I also want to enjoy my time with you.”
“I want that too.” Sam furrowed her brow. “You wouldn’t be here this morning if I didn’t.”
“I’m not one of those women who keeps her distance, Sam.” Luciana turned, her eyes holding unshed tears. If anything was ever going to move forward, she knew she had to be honest with Sam. “Kisses. Cuddles. Holding you. That’s what I’m into.”
Oh, God. Sam scolded herself internally for not explaining herself.
“I’m sorry,” Sam said. “If I hadn’t stopped you…just before… I’m not sure I’d ever stop.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Look at you.” Sam’s eyes took in the incredible body before her. “You’re in my kitchen at seven am wearing barely anything at all. Do you really think I don’t want those things, too?”
“Sometimes I wonder.” Luciana shrugged. “I'm trying to do the right thing, but it’s hard.”
Sam stared, wondering why she constantly pushed this woman away. Not necessarily literally, but something always prevented her from doing what she really wanted to do.
“It’s hard to keep my hands to myself when I'm so into you.”
“Come here.” Sam stood, closing the distance between them. “I never meant to make you feel that way.”
“It’s okay.” Luciana said, her worry lessening a little.
“You have to work tonight.” Sam cupped Luciana’s face. “And honestly, I don’t think I could let you go if this went any further right now.”
“Fair enough.” Luciana sighed. “I’m beginning to regret not seeing you Sunday now.”
“We have all the time in the world…” Sam leaned in, kissing Luciana softly. She had to keep control of this moment. If she had any chance of living a normal life today, she really had to control this. “Let me shower and then we’ll go out for breakfast.”
“Sounds good.” Luciana’s eyes closed as she leaned into Sam’s touch, her thumb grazing her cheek. “Go and do your thing. I'm not going anywhere.”
***
Luciana rushed down the street from her own apartment, heading towards the city centre. She was late, and she hated being late. It was unheard of in her job and while she usually kept to her arrangements, today she was a mess. She had a meeting at midday, and the time currently stood at ten minutes past. She took her phone from her pocket and unlocked the screen.
L: Sorry I'm running late. Be there in five.
J: Don’t worry. I've just ordered us lunch. Don’t rush. X
L: You’re a lifesaver.
J: I believe that would be you, Alexis. Not me. X
L: See you in five minutes.
Luciana didn’t really want to meet with an ex-client today, not after she’d spent the night at Sam’s apartment, but she would have to meet with Janet at some point so why not do it sooner rather than later? It didn’t mean anything, and it certainly wasn’t a paid visi
t, so why did she feel so bad about meeting her? Why did she feel like she was doing something wrong?
Turning the corner, Luciana steeled herself, preparing to meet a woman she crossed the line with. Yes, it was a long time ago, and yes, it was way back when she first joined the agency, but Janet had always had a way with words…and ultimately, a strange hold over Luciana. Today, she would explain that she had left the agency, her business number no longer in use. Janet often contacted Luciana when she least expected it, and that extended to her personal phone number too, so it was time to put their arrangement to an end, no matter how fleeting it had become over the last year or so.
As the coffee shop came into view, Luciana released a deep breath and quickened her pace. She had plans for the rest of the afternoon, and those plans wouldn’t be pleasant if she didn’t get this over with once and for all. She pushed the door open and found Janet sitting at their usual table.
As she took in Janet’s appearance, Luciana felt a complete lack of emotion for the woman now standing. Her black hair flowed down her back, hair as black as her heart. As always, Janet had that mature look about her, regardless of the fact that she was only four years older than Luciana. The woman had clearly experienced a hard life in terms of her ageing, but Luciana wasn't here to judge her appearance or her shitty personality; she was here to end everything with Janet.
“Alexis.” She waved her over. “You look…different.”
“Yeah.” Luciana smiled weakly. “This is how I look when I'm not being paid for company.” She glanced down at her choice of skinny jeans and pumps, accompanied by a black shirt.
“Mm, I'm not sure I like it.” Janet tapped her chin, her dull, dark eyes adding to Luciana’s discomfort as they trained on her. “Anyway, I haven’t contacted you for a while so I suppose I only have myself to blame.”
“Oh, this isn’t that kind of meeting…”
“I beg to differ.” Janet cocked her head, motioning for Luciana to sit down. “I thought we could enjoy some lunch and then go back to my place.”
The Arrangement Page 13
