by Erin Trejo
“She’ll be okay. Been a long day, yeah?” Dec slaps a hand on my shoulder.
“Someone was messin’ with what’s mine, Dec.” That familiar anger rises inside of me again.
“And we will find out who and handle it.”
Chapter 14
Ashley
I sit in the grass, picking at blades and tossing them to the side. My heart hurts. That Tic would even think I’d let anything happen to Jameson hurts me the most.
“How are you doing?” Brooke asks walking up behind me. I nod without looking back at her. She walks up and sits next to me grabbing my hand in hers.
“He doubted me. He doubted that I could keep Jameson safe. Like I would actually let anything happen to him. What kind of fuck does that?” I scream a little louder than I need to, but Brooke doesn’t mind, she just laughs.
“Clearly he doesn’t know you as well as we thought. We all know how much you love Jameson. He’s just worried is all. No one has ever put a threat against him before. It kinda came out of nowhere.” I jerk my head to the side and raise my eyebrows.
“So, that’s my fault? He should take that shit out on me?” I snap. Brooke rolls her eyes, knowing me better than anyone else.
“No and if you want me to kick his ass I will, but give him a little slack. What did you feel when you thought they would go near him?” She asks.
“Pure rage. I was so scared, Brooke. When he grabbed my arm, I almost lost it, but I knew it would have scared J. I would do anything for him.” The sigh behind us doesn’t need to be addressed. I know he’s back there.
“That’s all that matters.” Brooke squeezes my hand once more but she doesn’t leave.
“She’s right, and I’m sorry, Ashley. I shouldn’t have taken that out on you. He’s all I have aside from this club, but I know how you feel about him.” Tic’s voice floats up behind us. I give Brooke a little nod letting her know that it’s okay for her to go. She shoves off the ground and dusts off her jeans before walking toward the front.
“I will fuck you up if you treat her badly.” She snaps on her way past leveling the man with her stare. I giggle a little before Tic comes to take her spot next to me.
“I really am sorry,” he says sincerely. I look over and I can see it. He means it.
“I need to say something here and I don’t know how you are going to take it, and frankly, I don’t care anymore, Tic. I have never been one to hold back on my feelings and now is no different.” He shifts to face me and I can see the concern written all over his face.
“I came into this with you loving Jameson. He’s a kid, how could anyone not love him? He’s perfect as far as I’m concerned. The one thing I didn’t sign up for was you. I didn’t sign up to have my feelings split in half with you. I didn’t sign up to fall in love with you, Tic, and sadly for you, that’s what’s happening to me. I need out. I need space, and I need to be away from you. You aren’t ready for me. Maybe we aren’t right for each other, but please and I’m begging you, don’t take Jameson away from me. He’s the best thing I have in my life.” Tears form in my eyes as he watches me quietly. Too quietly. My emotions are all over the place. I didn’t expect to have these feelings for Tic but they’re there. It scares me, but I know this isn’t what he wants either. I know he isn’t looking for love and that’s why I need the space.
“You offered to watch Jameson that first day. You came runnin’ out to ask me about allergies. It was that moment that I knew you were somethin’ special. You were beautiful, perfect. I can’t imagine you walkin’ away from me. I don’t want you to. I told you that I wanted to try this thing and see where it was goin’. I wasn’t playin’. I want this, Ash.” He reaches up and cups my cheek. I lean into his touch as tears slowly slip down my cheeks.
“I don’t want you to hate me. I don’t want you to doubt me, Tic,” I cry. Tic moves his hands, wrapping them around my waist. He lifts me and places me in his lap.
“I don’t hate you, baby. I don’t doubt that you would protect J with everything in you. I know you would. You did it tonight. You kept your cool and got him back here. I can’t thank you enough for that.” His lips press into mine gently. He’s waiting to see if I pull away but I can’t. He kisses me softly and I melt into him. I don’t know how long we sit like this, but I love having him hold me.
“Are we staying here tonight?” Jameson voice is full of light.
We both turn to look at him and smile when Blu nods at us.
“You want to?” Tic asks him. J nods his head rapidly with a smile on his face.
“Only if Ash stays!” he says excitedly. Tic’s lips caress my neck before running his nose down my neck.
“What do you say, sexy? You wanna spend the night with us?” His gruff voice sends need wafting through my body.
“I’d love to. Are we watching movies?” I ask Jameson.
“Can we, Daddy?” He jumps up and down.
“I think we can do that.”
Chapter 15
Ashley
The problem with life is reality. You can’t change that. You can’t make things happen. Life will always throw you something different.
I watch Jameson smile as he watches his Spiderman movie. His eyes light up when he watches the screen. I love seeing him happy. There is nothing more that I want in this world.
Tic’s fingers trail up and down the back of my neck. He’s propped up next to me shirtless, which is making it hard for me to concentrate on the movie.
“Can you put a shirt on?” I ask him playfully. Jameson shifts, laying on his stomach at the end of the bed, his little feet sprawled out behind him. Tic’s fingers tighten around the back of my neck before he pulls me down next to him.
“I suppose I could, but is that what you really want?” he teases me. I lay my head on his chest while his fingers move from my neck to my back. His other hand slowly travels down my body when I stop him.
“What are you doing?” I lift my head and eye him. He grins that sexy grin at me before he winks. “Not happening while he is right here.”
“Guess you better cover up and be quiet,” he growls. My body reacts. Tic grabs the extra blanket next to him and tosses it over the two of us. His hand slides down my stomach and straight into the top of my shorts.
“This is wrong, Tic.” I try to squeeze my legs together, but he just weasels his way in anyway. I giggle a little.
“But you want it, don’t you Ash?” he says with a smirk.
I look up at him before he moves his head, his lips touching mine. The world ceases to exist around us when his finger finds my clit. Tic kisses me softly and gently as his finger finds a rhythm. My body responds and a moan softly falls from my lips only to be eaten up by his. He feels so right, and in my heart I know this is what I want, but my mind tells me this is wrong. That we shouldn’t be together. That something bad is going to happen or something is going to take a wrong turn. I hate the feeling, but I can’t stop it.
“Where’d you go?”
Tic’s voice surprises me. When did he stop kissing me? Touching me?
“I don’t think this is right, Tic. I don’t think we should be together,” I admit. Tic sighs and grabs my leg, tossing it over his. Pulling my body so I’m resting on top of him, he pulls my hair away from my face.
“We talked about this, Ash. Why do you keep doubtin’ this?” he asks. I can see the worry in his eyes. Does he really want to try this?
“It’s just a lot, Tic. I mean, what if those people come back? What if next time they get to him? I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to him while I was supposed to be watching him.” I know I’m rambling and I don’t care. This is all I can think about. If anything happened to Jameson, I would die. He means so much to me in such a short amount of time. Tic’s hands come up to cup my cheeks. His thumb slides over my bottom lip as I close my eyes.
“Trust is a hard thing for you, Ash, I can tell, but this is somethin’ you are gonna have to trust me on. What happened
at that mall wasn’t your fault. We will keep Jameson safe. Nothin’ is gonna happen to him. Look at me,” he demands, causing me to open my eyes again.
“I trust you with him. Do you understand me?” The roughness in his voice causes my heart to pick up.
“I don’t want to disappoint you,” I admit. I don’t know where this deep feeling comes from but disappointing Tic just seems too much for me.
“You could never disappoint me, Ash. Not when it comes to him. Not when it comes to us. Just try for me, baby. That’s all I’m askin’ you.”
The way he says it, the way his toner has lowered, how could I say no. I couldn’t. Not even if I wanted to. “I’ll try.”
Tic smiles, pulling my face to his. He presses his lips to mine and that’s all I can feel.
Chapter 16
Tic
“What the fuck does that mean, Mystic?” I snap as he rambles on about someone fucking with the mall security cameras. It’s been three fucking days since that shit happened. I slipped out of bed this morning leaving Ash and J snuggled up with each other. Something inside of me wanted to see that every day.
“It means, that I can’t get shit. I’m pullin’ the local stores and shit now but the mall is a bust, brother.”
I run my hand through my hair completely frustrated with all of this. I want the motherfucker who thought it would be a good idea to put his hands on my woman and go after my son. I want him bleeding in my hands, but most of all, I want to know if the she in this equation is Dana. I haven’t heard from her since she left when Jameson was just a baby. I didn’t look for her because there was no reason to. I didn’t need her. Jameson didn’t need her. I think I’ve done a fairly good job raising him on my own. Of course, I’m not the perfect poster dad, but that doesn’t mean shit.
I reach for the joint that’s on the table next to Mystic and light it up. I need to figure this shit out. I need to know who the hell it is that I’m up against.
“You okay?” My dad’s hand lands on my shoulder.
I glance over and nod before inhaling once more. Blowing out the cloud of smoke, I look back at him and say, “If it’s her, I’ll kill her.”
He nods his head not needing anything more. He knows how much that hurt when she left. I thought we were finally at a good place when we had Jameson but the truth was always that the drugs were her only comfort companion.
“Tic. Take a look at this,” Mystic says, pulling my attention back to the monitors in front of him. I watch as he clicks a few buttons before I catch a glimpse of a man on a bike. I keep watching and see three others pull in behind him.
“Can you get closer? Get the name on that cut?” I ask, leaning over the back of his chair like a fucking stalker. I watch the screen intently while he clicks on a few more buttons.
“Partial. Lyons. That’s all I can get. Sorry, brother.” The screen keeps moving as we watch the bikes leave our view.
“What about when they come back out? You get anything on that?” I ask. Mystic does his thing until we see the four bikes pulling out. One has a girl on the back. “Zoom it in,” I growl over his shoulder.
“Is that her?” My dad asks leaning in closer to the screen next to me. My heart is hammering in my chest. I haven’t seen her in years.
“I don’t know. It could be. Fuck! I haven’t seen her in years, man.” I slam my hands down on the back of the chair causing Mystic to jump. Declan’s hand comes down on my shoulder before I even register it’s him.
“Calm the fuck down. Gettin’ all amped up isn’t gonna help shit, Tic.”
I swallow the lump in my throat when I finally lose my shit. If she thinks she can drag another club into this war that’s between me and her, she is fucked in the head. If for one second Dana thinks I am going to let her get anywhere near my son, she’s as insane as they come. I won’t let her touch him.
I pull away from the chair and spin around punching the nearest wall as I roar.
“I’ll fuckin’ kill her!” Another punch to the wall. My fist screams in pain but that doesn’t stop me. Mayhem grabs my shoulders and shoves me up against the wall, effectively cutting me off from punching anything else. His body is pressed into mine, which only serves to piss me off a little more.
“Get the fuck off me, Mayhem!” I growl as I push back with all my strength. He steps back letting me turn to face him. That’s when I see her. Her eyes are wide with fear, tears slowly falling down her cheeks. Maybe she was right. Maybe we shouldn’t be together. I’m willing to kill. I’m ready to kill and there she is as innocent as they come.
“What’s happening?” she asks softly looking around the room. She knows something isn’t right.
“We got a problem,” Declan says, looking toward her.
“What is it?” She swipes at the tears on her cheeks before looking to me.
I can’t do it. I can’t look at her. I lower my head. She must walk toward me quickly because her hands on are on my chest, shooting fire through my body. I slowly lift my head to look her in those big beautiful eyes.
“The guy that grabbed you is with another club.” She nods her head as if she already knew that part. Maybe she did.
“And? I know there’s more,” she states. I huff before a small smile curls the edges of my lips. She’s so damn observant.
“And I think Dana was with them.” The tears stop. They just stop falling as the look of rage and anger take over that sweet face. I’ve never seen her like this. So, hostile. She’s on fire and not from touching me.
“She comes anywhere near him, Tic-” She begins but I don’t let her finish. I wrap my hand around the back of her neck, pulling her closer to me. Our faces are nearly touching.
“I will kill her before she gets her hands on my son.” I grit my teeth. The muscles in my jaw are twitching. My body is taught with tension.
“If you don’t, I will,” she utters through a clenched jaw.
I shake my head, wondering where my sweet little Ashley went. What the hell happened to her? This isn’t her. This woman in front of me is fierce and ready to fight for what she believes in.
“Tell me somethin’, Ash,” I say watching her eyes. “If I made the offer, would you be his mother?” Her eyes fill with more tears. Her tongue comes out, wetting her lips.
“You wouldn’t need to ask me, Tic.”
I nod my head once not sure what exactly is running around this head of mine. How can I even ask her to take on that role? How can I even think about that when I know there is a threat out there?
Chapter 17
Ashley
He never elaborated on his question. He’s been distant and more lost in his head than usual. Blu assured me that I was safe to go home and go on with my daily life, but something feels off. I don’t have a life. I want to be with Tic and Jameson, but Tic has been staying at the clubhouse with him.
“Are you sure you’re ok?” Brooke asks as she passes me my latte. I shrug before sitting at the table in front of me.
“I don’t know, Brooke. He won’t talk to me. I miss Jameson. This is fucked up.” I slump into the chair as she laughs.
“You know where he is. Why don’t you come around?” she asks.
I shake my head. “No. I’m not going to grovel over that man. When he wants to talk to me, he will.” I sip my drink as Brooke watches me.
“He misses you, Ash. He won’t admit it, the stubborn fuck. You should come around and see Jameson. It’s not right to walk away from him, too. The guys have a run tonight.”
My heart skips when she says that. It’s been a few days since I’ve been back to the clubhouse. I wanted to give Tic time to figure out what he wanted without me hanging around.
“Ok. I got him that Spiderman that he was wanting,” I tell her with a smile.
“You will be a great mom. You’ve always been so good with kids.” She grins.
“J is easy. Tic always says he can be bad, but I haven’t seen that part of him yet. He’s always been good for me. In fact,
let’s go now. I miss that kid,” I tell her before shoving out of my seat. Brooke laughs and follows behind me. I shove the door to the diner open and as soon as I step outside, I slam into someone.
“Shit! I’m sorry,” I say as I adjust myself and look at the person in front of me. Her eyes are so familiar yet, I don’t think I know her.
“You should be sorry,” she smarts off when Brooke steps in.
“Watch how the fuck you talk to her,” Brooke snaps, the threat readily apparent in her words.
“She better watch her ass. I’m coming for my son. There is no one, not you, not her, not Tic that will stop me.”
When the words leave her mouth, I lose it. I step around Brooke, pushing her behind me before I lose my shit on the woman in front of me.
“Come near him. I dare you. If I don’t kill you, Tic will. You walked away from that boy. He isn’t yours anymore.” I grit my teeth feeling the anger inside of me boiling over.
“He is mine and I will have him back. You won’t be able to stop me. I will come for him and you will regret ever touching what belongs to me.” Her dark eyes burn holes through me. I won’t back down. I won’t let her have her way.
“Come near him and I will kill you.” I reach up and shove her back as the rumble of bikes break the silence. She wants to come after me but she doesn’t. She quickly turns and walks away as we watch her disappear down the sidewalk. Dec pulls up along with Mayhem. Brooke rushes toward him, but I’m stunned into silence. My insides tremble as the thought of her taking him away from his dad, his family makes me sick to my stomach. Mayhem climbs off his bike, walking slowly and a little unsurely toward me. His eyes dance with questions that he doesn’t ask but he does what he can to reassure me.
“Everything’s ok, Ash.” Mayhem’s hand rests on my shoulder. I swallow the tears before looking up at him.
“I know it is. I have an idea.” The wheels in my mind start spinning. I have money. I can do this.
