by Erin Trejo
“My life isn’t your life, Nuts. You see me daily, but behind the scenes, it’s ugly. It’s a horrible place that you don’t belong,” I tell him. Admitting what Justin has done to me for years would be so easy, but I can’t do that to him. I won’t put him on Justin’s radar and I won’t hurt him that way. Justin has made threats more than once. I’ve never trusted his intentions which is another reason why being on birth control is a must for me.
Nuts sits still for a long time before shoving out of his chair. It tumbles to the floor behind him as his hands clench at his sides. His nostrils flare and his eyes are wild. I’ve pissed him off pretty well.
“Haven’t I earned more than this?” he roars, drawing the attention of everyone around us. I stand from my chair and walk toward him slowly. Resting my hands on his chest, I gaze up at him.
“You’ve earned so much more, but I haven’t. I don’t deserve what you’re giving, Nuts.”
His hands slowly unclench before wrapping around my arms. “You won’t take this away from me. I’ve worked too hard for this, Cherry. I want you. If I have to dig into your life, I will. I didn’t want it to come to that. I wanted you to put enough faith in me that I wouldn’t have to take things to that level, but I can see now you will never trust me.” His words are like a stake to the heart. They hurt.
“It’s not that I don’t trust you. There are things you would hate me for.” I try to reason with him.
“I would never hate you, Cherry! Don’t you see that! All I want is to be your future. I want to be the reason you smile. I want to be the one who wipes your tears. I want to hold you when you cry but never be the reason for it. Why can’t you let me do that?” Nuts snaps.
My heart stutters in my chest. Before I can think about the words that leave my mouth, they come out.
“My brother did this to me!”
Nuts stares at me like he’s lost. His hands fall to his sides. I can’t describe the look in his eyes right now. Defeated? Lost? Angry? I don’t know. I look around the now silent restaurant and see all eyes on us. They don’t know what the hell we’re talking about yet it feels like they do. Hot tears fall down my cheeks as I run out of the front door. I don’t stop either. I run until I can’t breathe and fall to my knees. Everything I wanted to hide from, everything I’ve kept hidden, I let free so why doesn’t it make me feel better? Why does it feel like a piece of me was just ripped in half?
Chapter 27
Nuts
I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to think for that matter. I stand here in a stunned silence. Cherry ran out of here and I can’t fucking move. Her brother? He’s the one who raped her? Who beats her? Where is this motherfucker? How did I not know he was around? When the hell does she even see him?
“Sir.” The waitress catches my attention long enough for me to toss some cash at her and bolt out the front door. My heart slams erratically inside of me as I look for Cherry. When I spot her on her knees sobbing, I grab at my chest. Is this what love feels like? This pain that I have in my heart for her?
I walk slowly toward her trying to come up with something to say. All I want is to snap that motherfucker’s neck. I want his beating heart in my hands when I rip it from his chest. I drop down behind her and pull her into my arms. Her cries come harder and harder as I hold her there.
“Truth for a truth?” I ask her softly. She nods her head as she cries. “You stole a piece of my heart when I first met you, Cherry.”
Her tears come faster before she says, “He tried to kill me.” I close my eyes and hold her tighter.
In my life, I’ve loved few things. My family is a given, but life never threw me much to love aside from them. I’ve only ever had the club and my parents. I was a bit of a lonely island before Cherry walked into my life, and I was okay with that. But she changed all of that. The fact that my chest feels like it could explode at any minute listening to Cherry cry tells me why she was given to me. The world is a cruel place and we all play our parts in it. I like to think that we are given things throughout our lives that make us have purpose, and Cherry is that for me.
“This changes nothin’, angel. You’re mine. You can push me, you can fight me, but at the end of the day, I will hold you while you get it all out. I will kiss you and tell you everything will be okay. I will be there when you open those pretty eyes of yours. I’ll take the pain away, Cherry. Just let me do that.”
Cherry pulls her head back and glares up at me. She’s so lost and hurt.
“He’s probably gone, Nuts. He thought he killed me. I don’t know why he hates me so much. He’s always hated me.” The pain that I can feel vibrating off her is absorbed into my body. I want it. I want to take it all away from her, and she’s giving it to me, piece by piece.
“I will hunt him to the ends of the earth. There isn’t a place that motherfucker will go that I can’t find him. He won’t hurt you again.” I lean down and press my lips to hers, tasting her tears.
I stand us both up and pull her against my chest. Running my hand up and down her back, I try to soothe her the best I can but that’s hard considering I’m thinking about all the ways I want to torture her brother. What kind of sick motherfucker would do that to his own sister? A brother should love and protect her from assholes like him.
“I want to go home,” Cherry sobs softly. I lift her in my arms and carry her toward the truck. She stays nuzzled into my chest until I sit her in the seat and buckle her seatbelt.
“I’ll take care of you, Cherry. Do you trust me to do that?” I ask her. I need her to know. I have to know that she trusts me with her life.
“I do trust you, Nuts. I just don’t want you to hate me later.”
I wipe the tears from her perfect face before I lean in closer. “I would never hate you. You’re mine now, Cherry. I earned that trust, and like I told you before, I’ll earn your heart.” I kiss her cheek once more and close her door, but right before it’s closed all the way, I swear I heard her say I already did.
My heart swells with pride but also rage. When I get her home, I’m going to give her all of me. I’m going to love her like she’s supposed to be loved.
Then I’m going to kill her family.
I climb in and drive us home in silence. Something is shifting and not just between us. Something is shifting in her, and I can feel it. She might not say anything at all, but I can feel it within me. This two-day trip did something to her. I hope it’s giving her the space to trust – in me and in love. More importantly, it’s fixing her and she’s letting it happen.
Chapter 28
Cherry
The feeling of rejection has always been known to me. The feeling of being wanted? That’s new. I thought a lot about myself on the ride back home and about all the things Nuts said to me. I may have been weak minded before but I was never a weak person. I always kept my head high and held my ground. Lately, I’ve been letting everyone baby me, and that needs to change. I need to be me. I need to be Cherry Murphy no matter how hard it is to be her.
“You look different,” Brooke says as she stares at me with a smile.
“Could it be that my ass looks good in these jeans?” I ask her shaking my ass a little for her. She laughs before standing from the bed.
“I mean it. You look almost happy.”
Is it sad that she noticed that too? It shouldn’t be considering Brooke is one of my best friends, but I hate that my pain and sadness has been so apparent to her all this time.
“I am happy. Those few days away gave me time to think. I don’t want to be the victim, Brooke. I want to be me, and I’m going to be me,” I tell her. I grab the shirt I picked out off the bed and slide it over my head.
“I’m glad. This new Cherry wasn’t working for me. I miss the little slut that licked my neck when I first got here.” Brooke laughs hysterically. I throw my earring at her making her laugh harder.
“You liked it. I didn’t hear one single complaint except from Declan. That moody bastard was
mad I was getting all that pussy and he wasn’t.” We both laugh when the door flies open and Kenderly walks in.
“Jesus! You look hot as hell, Cherry!” she squeals as she drops onto the bed.
I stroll over and rub her little belly and sigh. “Can this baby ever come out. I want to hold it so bad,” I whine. I love Kenderly to death. She’s lived here as long as I have. Her life just went a different direction than mine.
“Soon enough. That’s not why I came in here, though. So, I heard that you were now off limits.” She raises an eyebrow just as Brooke cuts her eyes to me.
“Is that so? And you didn’t feel the need to tell me any of this?” Brooke’s says, her hands flying to her hips as she gives me the death glare.
“First of all, it sort of just happened. Technically, I didn’t say yes,” I say before I’m interrupted.
“Like hell you didn’t.” Nuts walks in looking as good as ever with his tight black t-shirt and cut. I smile as he makes his way toward me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He plants a kiss on me that makes my knees weak as the girls all squeal.
“You said yes. Need I remind you when that was?” he pulls back and asks. My heart leaps into my throat. He has that cocky-ass smirk on his face that I love.
“Yeah, I think you should.”
“When I had you naked with my head between those thighs at my mom’s hou-” he starts but I stop him with my hand over his mouth.
“Cherry! You did not go to that man’s parents’ house and do such a thing!” Brooke yells through her laughter. Kenderly holds her stomach laughing, and I think I’m going to pee my pants.
“You know she did, Brooke.” Nuts glances over and winks at her. I will kill him. I punch him in the arm making him laugh. He pulls his attention back to me and smiles.
“I need to say thank you, N-” I start to say when Prim walks in.
“Yeah, thank you for that fuck at your mom’s house!” she yells loudly. I can’t stop the heat from rising in my cheeks. These girls are something else.
“I mean it. You can shut up and listen or get out,” I warn them nicely. The room grows silent as I look back up at him. “You made me think a lot about things I can’t control. You gave me a chance to set myself free, and I did just that. I want to be me again, Nuts.”
His eyes dance as he looks at me. “Then let’s do it. Be you, Cherry. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.” I kiss him once more when he pulls back. “Now let’s go do this damn party,” he hollers.
The girls all share a glance with knowing what this party’s really about. Nuts is clueless, and that’s what makes it all the more better.
“Right behind you!” I yell as I follow him out into the main room. The guys are all standing around with grins on their faces, but when Nuts sees the other chapter here and some of the nomads, he’s confused. He looks at me over his shoulder, and I can’t do anything but smile.
This is what he’s wanted, and this is what he’s earned. I don’t think I could be any prouder of him.
Chapter 29
Nuts
I have no idea what the fuck is going on, but the guys are all smiling. I’m confused as shit when Cherry walks past me to stand with the rest of them.
“We all know why we’re here. Well, all except Nuts,” Declan says as everyone laughs. I don’t get what the fuck is happening right now. “We had church while you were out on your little vacation and came to a few decisions.”
Fuck! I knew I shouldn’t have asked for that time off. I knew I should have stayed my ass here, but you know what? Helping Cherry find herself is by far the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.
“Look, Dec. If what I did was wrong, I’d do it all over again. Someone special needed that time, and as much as I love this club, she means more to me.” I glance at Cherry as she smiles brightly. It makes me feel good that she knows just how much she means to me now.
“That so? You’d do it again?” Declan asks me.
I nod my head and straighten my spine before I say, “Goddamn right I would.”
Declan nods his head before taking a step closer to me. “You know why I gave you the name Nuts?” he asks me but doesn’t let me answer. He continues, “You have heart. You have a set of balls on you that not many have.”
“Damn right he does!” Cherry yells, making everyone laugh including me.
“You show heart in all that you do, Nuts. You took a bullet more than once for someone who could have meant nothin’ to you. That takes a special kind of person. The kind of person that belongs in the Soulless Bastards MC.”
My heart races as I look at Mayhem. He steps forward with a brand-new cut in his hands. My mind blanks out for a second as I let it all sink in.
“You’re one of us, brother. You have been for a long time, but I was too lost to see it. You not only deserve it, you fuckin’ earned it,” Declan says. He takes the cut from Mayhem and holds it in his hands.
“Now let’s go dirty this motherfucker up!” Declan roars tossing me my cut. Full fucking colors applied. I don’t think I could be any happier than I am right now. I slide the prospect cut off and toss it to Tic with a grin on my face. Sliding my arms into the new one, I look over at Cherry. Her eyes are lit up and bright. I crock my finger at her and wait for her to walk over to me.
“Hold up! First thing I need to say as a fully patched member: Cherry is my old lady now. Hands off motherfuckers!” I roar loudly. Declan stands there nodding his head before he starts clapping. All the other guys follow suit as I tug Cherry into my arms.
“You ready for that?” I ask her, not really caring if she is or not. She told me that day that she was mine and she damn well is.
“I’m ready for anything with you, Nuts.”
I kiss her lips and let the rest of the world fade away. It doesn’t take long before a beer is thrust into my hands and the drunken party starts.
“I need to talk to Dec. Don’t go anywhere.” I swat Cherry on the ass before walking over to the table where Dec and Tic stand. They look to be in a heated talk, but I interrupt anyway.
“Hey. Got a minute?” I ask. Dec nods passing the joint that was in his hand to Tic.
“What’s goin’ on? You not happy with that patch?” he teases, flipping the front of my cut.
“You know I’m damn proud to wear this. Thanks, brother, but that’s not it. Cherry told me who it is that’s hurtin’ her.”
His eyes lose all humor when I say that. He looks around and waves another guy over before motioning for me to follow him. We step around the side of the building when the other guy steps up.
“What’s goin’ on, Prez?” the guy asks. I see the way Dec still cringes when he’s called that.
“This is Nuts. Our newest member. He’s got some things he needs to tell us about Cherry Bear.” Dec nods toward me.
“Nuts.” The guy nods at me.
“This is Ruger. I think you met him before when Blu was around.” I nod as I look to him back to Dec.
“Her brother. That’s who’s been doin’ this shit to her,” I tell him. Declan blows out a breath and runs his hand through his hair. I can tell by the look on his face that he’s pissed.
“Didn’t know she had a brother,” Ruger adds. I look to him and nod.
“Yeah, her mom, too. Not sure where they are now. Cherry said that her brother tried to kill her this last time. I want him, Dec.”
Declan chuckles darkly before Ruger says, “We got any intel on the guy? Name? anything?”
I shake my head and sigh. “She wasn’t in the mood to tell much more. I know she wants him handled though, and I want to handle it. Planned on it either way.”
“Whether the club backed you or not?” Declan asks. Once again, I straighten my spine and nod my head.
“She’s mine, Dec. I would have done it even if she wasn’t.”
Ruger pulls out a pack of cigarettes and lights one up before passing us each one. “Mystic can find anyone anywhere. You get me a name, I’ll get you
a location and backup,” Ruger says looking me right in the eye.
“I’ll get that.”
“Not tonight. Tonight, we celebrate. Tomorrow is another day. We still need to talk about this shit with Viral Dead.”
Ruger grunts when he hears that name. “We should just blow those bastards straight to hell,” Ruger mumbles under his breath.
“If there weren’t trucks full of women, we would,” Declan adds.
“Yeah, we got a guy on that too. Now that we know Viral is runnin’ them, we want the ones supplyin’ them,” Ruger says blowing out a ring of smoke.
“Heard that. Let’s drop this shit for tonight. We pick it up tomorrow at church.”
Chapter 30
Cherry
Nuts opted to leave his own party to come back to the room with me. I told him we had all night, but he was impatient.
“Do you know how fuckin’ hard I am right now?” he asks me as he stands at the end of the bed. I slowly slide off and down to my knees in front of him.
“I’m about to find out,” I say as I lick my lips. I grab the buckle of his belt and work it until it comes undone. The button comes and goes as I slide his jeans down his legs. The smell of cologne mixed with leather assaults me. I slide my hand around his dick as it twitches in my palm. The soft silky skin slides perfectly.
“You can’t play games right now, Cherry. I’m too fuckin’ drunk and horny for that,” Nuts growls as I slide my tongue over the tip. His hips jerk as I take him all the way into my mouth. I run my tongue down the throbbing vein and suck as hard as I can. Nuts hisses and thrusts forward, clearly liking what I’m doing to him.
“This my present, darlin’?” he grumbles, his hand tightening in my hair. I groan around his dick, vibrations shaking him to the core. His hips buck as he fucks my mouth. There were so many times that I wasn’t sure I liked doing this but this is not one of them. Nuts moves in my mouth so perfectly. He tastes like all man and I love it. Just as I’m getting into a good rhythm, he pulls my head back causing me to release him with a pop.
