“Why not? Surely you’re not planning on staying with your husband and sleeping with this man on the side? I know you, April. That’s not the kind of woman I raised you to be. The kind of woman you are. You didn’t just suddenly morph into someone else overnight.” Her eyes narrowed. “What are you not telling me? Why are you always so jumpy when James is around?” I could see her putting the pieces together and coming to the right conclusion. “Is he abusing you?”
I looked away, ashamed to confirm it and afraid she’d see the lie if I denied it.
“Why won’t you talk to me anymore?” She sounded so sad. “I don’t like it when you keep things from me.”
Suddenly the door behind me popped open. The smell of mint preceded the warm arms that enveloped me. Relieved for the interruption, I melted into him. My mom’s eyes widened.
“Mrs. Barrie,” my rhythm man acknowledged in a velvety rumble.
“Dizzy,” she returned frostily. It made me sad to see her freeze him out. I was certain under different circumstances she would’ve liked him as much as I did. If only I could tell her the truth, but I couldn’t risk it. I knew my mother. She would take on a ship full of armed Somalian pirates if she thought I was in danger. But she wouldn’t win against James, and there was no way he was letting me go.
We stayed at the hospital until after my mom got settled. The doctor confirmed the obvious, there’d been no change. George was completely unresponsive. The day to day watch would continue with my mother and me sharing turns at his bedpost.
Dizzy put his hand on my lower back as we exited the building. I didn’t make a fuss. I liked his hand there, warm and possessive. And my mom’s words were a grim reminder that too soon James would return. Soon I’d have to let him go for good.
“Where to?” he asked after we’d buckled our seat belts.
“My place, please. I need to pick up some clean clothes,” I explained. “If you still want to spend time together?”
“No one I’d like to be with more,” he replied, giving me an intense look that verified his words.
Once we got to my apartment, I moved around quickly gathering up what I thought I would need. I could feel the negative energy rolling off of Dizzy in waves as he waited, his arms folded over his chest, standing deadly still in the center of my living room. His gaze remained fixated on the wall of pictures between my living room and the hallway.
“I’m ready now,” I whispered touching his arm lightly while throwing my backpack over my shoulder.
He slid it off, insisting on carrying it for me, but though solicitous he was quiet on the drive back to his place and wouldn’t talk to me about whatever was obviously bothering him. I gave up trying after a couple of failed attempts. His brusque manner hurt my feelings.
We had so little time. The clock was running out, and when it did, I’d lose. My stepfather and Dizzy. I regretted the stop. I regretted anything that upset the balance of the fragile world we’d created for ourselves. I wished that I had just stayed in the clothes I’d been wearing since yesterday.
What we were doing wasn’t a slumber party. It didn’t really require a change of clothes. Dizzy wasn’t going to be in my sleepover much longer though I wished he could be. I felt comfortable with him, free to be myself, the weak or the strong me. But it’d be better if I remembered the temporary nature of our arrangement, remembered that he was never meant to be mine to keep.
• • •
Dizzy
April entered my apartment ahead of me, dropping the backpack that she’d stuffed full on the floor beside the couch. My stomach had been clenched tight since I’d seen the pictures on the wall at her place, the pictures that showed a history I wished I’d never seen. That asshole didn’t appreciate the miracle he had in her. Motherfucker wasn’t going to have her even one more day if I had my way.
“I’m gonna take a shower if that’s ok?” She gave me a furtive look as she pulled off her shirt. I think she sensed how close I was to blowing up. It’s not like I’d been trying too hard to hide it. “Join me?” she asked invitingly while peering at me through her lashes, sexy in just her jeans and midnight colored bra.
“Go on without me.” Her hopeful face fell. I should’ve said something to explain myself, but I needed to cool the fuck down before I even tried.
I yanked some running shorts out of the dresser, put on some cross trainers, left her a quick note in case she came out before I was through, and hit the stairwell hard. Up to the top and then all the way back down and up to my floor again. My clothes were plastered to my body and sweat was dripping into my eyes when I called it quits. There was still a hum of adrenaline pulsing through me, but I felt a little more under control.
April had a towel wrapped around her breasts and my note in her hands when I reentered the bedroom. She looked at me, her eyes large and uncertain.
“I’m sorry.” I raked wet hair off my forehead and moved straight to her, sliding my hands onto her damp shoulders and tugging her into me, my sweat mingling with her clean, but what the hell, I had to hold her. She was stiff in my arms, her chin down and her hands between us holding her towel in place.
I lifted her chin with my thumb swallowing hard when I saw the obvious hurt in her beautiful eyes. “Seeing you in that apartment, thinking for even one minute about you back with him after what we’ve shared, made me feel homicidal. No joke.” I pressed my lips softly to hers in apology even though what I really wanted to do was ravage them and stake my claim on her body. “You’re mine now.” I eased back to lay it out for her. “He can’t have you anymore.”
Something indefinable flashed in her eyes, but it disappeared before I had an opportunity to figure it out. Her hands twisted on the towel and it dropped to the floor, a distraction I couldn’t ignore.
When I lifted my gaze, I knew raw hunger blazed from my eyes. She didn’t shy away from it. She twined her arms around my neck, her tits smashing against my chest. I groaned and lowered my head to take her mouth. I nipped her bottom lip demanding that she surrender to me before I plundered the sweet interior. She returned my ardor giving as good as I gave.
When I pulled back to catch my breath, she captured my piercing between her teeth and tugged. Desire surged hot and heavy through my blood. She yanked off my wet shirt, greedy fingers flowing over my body like ravenous silk. Then she amped up the volume when she lowered her head and licked my skin.
“Salty.” Her warm breath puffed in the hollow of my neck an erogenous zone I didn’t know I had. “Sexy.” She rubbed her tits against my abs while sucking my nipples.
“April,” I moaned. “Shit.” I felt close to blowing my load. I was breathing harder than when I’d run the stairs. My erection tented my shorts, the friction of the cotton and her restless legs felt good but only one thing would satisfy.
As if she read my thoughts, she reached down and grabbed me through my shorts making me groan. “Enough.” I pulled back from her and quickly removed the last barrier between us. Her lips parted as she checked me out. I gave her a moment then swept her into my arms and tossed her onto the bed.
She came up on her elbows and watched me, opening her legs and beckoning me closer. I would’ve liked to say I played it cool, that I teased her back and made her wait for it, but I didn’t. Hell no. I practically tackled her, covering her body and smothering her mouth with hot urgent kisses. She arched her back rubbing her nipples against my chest and grinding her slick pussy along my dick while making sexy sounds.
My control snapped. I shifted, positioned, and slid all the way in and then immediately back out, setting a hard, fast pace. Instead of asking me to slow down, she grabbed my ass and begged me to go faster. So I did, mimicking my dick’s action with my tongue. And she loved it. Her body and the sounds she made told me so. And when I felt her climax, I let go too, giving her all of me, body and soul, not realizing until much later that she’d never agreed not to go back to him.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
April
This time we showered together, and the results were pleasurable for both of us. He got me off after lathering me up and washing my hair. Then I took my turn with him, exploring every hard ridge and taut valley of his sexy body in the process.
Afterward, when I had switched off the blow dryer and fluffed my hair, he proposed a short walk along the waterfront.
I nodded eagerly, feeling as elated as if he’d offered me a get-out-of-the-prison-my-life-was-now card. But then that’s the way I felt whenever I was around him. Free. It would be so easy to believe in a life together. That we could be each other’s new beginnings.
Outside, the sun greeted us brightly. I lifted my face up to its warmth, the familiar city sounds surrounding us. When I turned, his eyes were on me. He took my hand, threading his long capable fingers with mine. Returning his gaze, my inner feeling shining out, I brought our joined hands to my chest and settled my body closer to his side.
As we started down the sidewalk, I promised myself that I wasn’t going to worry about who might see us today. I wasn’t going to worry about anything. I was going to set it all aside, just this once. For him. For us.
When we reached the bottom of the hill, he swept me off my feet, holding me over the pool surrounding the multi-tiered fountain. “Give me my heart’s desire, or you get wet.”
“Heart’s desire, huh?” I put my hands on his chest over his thumping heart. “Seems kind of a steep price to pay just to avoid getting drenched.”
His lip curled, his silver piercing glinting in the afternoon sun. “Not if my wish happens to match your own.”
“I don’t know?” I breathed held captive by the intense emotion in his brilliant amber eyes. “I don’t care about platinum records or sold out stadium tours, after all.”
“Neither do I. Not anymore. I care about you, Kitten. You’re my heart’s desire.” He brushed my lips with the softest kiss he’d ever given me. It was so beautiful, his words and the follow up. His expression was so tender that I forgot all about trying to lighten the moment and just let him dazzle me with his charm.
But I was unable to suppress a shiver as he continued to stare, a frisson of trepidation tiptoeing its way up my spine. I knew even if he didn’t that this was an impermanent indulgence as fleeting as our reflection in the fountain.
• • •
Dizzy
Just the threat of going into the fountain sent a shiver through her. She looked suddenly cold and pale. I set her down and pointed to the chocolatier across the way. “C’mon. Some of the spray must’ve gotten you wet. I’ll buy you a hot cocoa. It’ll warm you up while we walk.”
The inside of the shop smelled rich and decadent, just like she did. April leaned back against me after we ordered. I ran my nose along her neck enjoying the way her floral scent seemed to complement the chocolate. She made me smile when she told me my hair reminded her of Kahlua and cream.
“Spoken like a true bartender, babe.”
She smiled at me and I nearly sighed from the sheer joy of just being with her. I’d probably been too intense out by the fountain, but she hadn’t seemed to mind. Everything felt right in the moment. I refused to second guess myself.
She spun in my arms, her eyes bright and her expression light. She lifted her hand running her fingers through my hair. I wanted to purr, the big jungle cat tamed by his kitten. “I like it without the gel. It’s softer,” she whispered.
I lifted her chin to kiss the lips that were fast becoming an addiction. “If you say so.” I held her eyes, studying her face, loving every detail. The way the sun brought out reddish highlights in the brown that I’d never noticed before now. Her ivory skin was still tinged with the pink blush I’d put there earlier, and her eyes seemed more pure jade than I’d ever seen them.
“Lowell.” We both were so absorbed in each other that we jumped when the barista called out our order, the chocolate just the right temperature, almost as perfect as the woman by my side.
We sipped our drinks in silence as we strolled, framed between high rise apartments and the calm waters of the inlet. We dodged a couple of runners enjoying the beautiful day only stopping to observe a group of children engaged in a game of hopscotch they’d chalked into the pavement.
A shadow darkened April’s features. I pulled her into me instinctively knowing why. “It’s ok if you want to tell me, Kitten,” I offered gently, wading into waters I would’ve rather avoided had I not sensed that what had happened was so critical to understanding her.
“Her name was Quinn. That’s what I called her.” She stiffened. “Would’ve called her had she lived.” She closed her eyes. I don’t even think she realized her hand was rubbing her womb. It tore me up to see her in pain, and it frustrated me knowing there was nothing I could do to make it better. “I used to talk to her. Sing to her.” She reopened her eyes, blinking rapidly in vain. The tears came anyway. I stepped closer, brushing my thumbs over her wet cheeks, my chest so tight I could barely breathe.
“You don’t have to go on if it hurts too much.”
“No. It’s ok. I need to talk about it.” She tried for a smile, but it didn’t hold. “I never could with James.” She sniffed. “I started making up stories for her as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Full of the things I loved when I was a little girl. And I’ve kept writing them even though she’ll never hear them.”
“That’s a wonderful way to keep her memory alive.”
“James blames me for her death.” Her gaze dropped. She turned away. “He’s right. It was my fault.”
“No way.” I suspected as much. It would explain a lot. I moved in front of her. “How could you even think that?”
“Because it’s true.” She stared blankly ahead. “James always liked rough sex. The whole S&M thing. He’s a lot older than me. It just felt natural to let him take the lead. I liked when he took control, when he tied me up. I trusted him. But then I got pregnant.” There was bright color in her cheeks.
I wanted to touch her, to comfort her. But I didn’t want to do anything that would keep her from talking it out. I felt like she needed to stick a lance in it, to let all of the poison out.
She let out a long shaky sigh.
“Did he step out on you before or after that?” I prompted.
“Both I think.” She focused on me, head canted to the side wondering how I’d guessed about his infidelity. “I wasn’t sure until well after though.” Her gaze took on a faraway look. “He got way too rough the night before the miscarriage. I was so scared. I couldn’t breathe. But at the same time I still hoped that if I could please him, I could save our marriage.” Her shoulders slumped. “I should have made him stop, but I didn’t. I’ll regret that every single day of my life.” More tears slid down her cheeks. They fell so fast they pooled between her lips. “The next day I started spotting. Then suddenly it was over. My Quinn was gone forever.”
“You can’t be sure that’s the reason you miscarried.”
“That’s what the doctors told us, but I feel responsible anyway. What if she couldn’t breathe either? She’d be alive today if I’d have just said no.”
“It’s not your fault.” I bent to kiss her cheeks, tasting the salt and swallowing the bitter taste of her sorrow wishing I could wash it away with my love.
She shook her head.
“It’s fucking not,” I insisted. “I know you want to think it is though.”
“Why would you say that?” She shook her head, the tears stopping. At least the self-pity was gone.
“Because it gives you an excuse to beat yourself up. It’s your way of justifying the way he treats you. It’s the reason you stay with him. Because you don’t feel like you deserve better. But you do.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
April
I woke just before the alarm went off. Dizzy had insisted I try for a power nap before I went back to the hospital. Though I hadn’t thought it possible, I’d been wrong. He had worn me out so thoroughly beforehand that I’d gone out li
ke a light.
I reached over and disabled the alarm, spending the few minutes I had left snuggling back up with the gorgeous, sensitive, smart, and surprising man at my side. The one who had twirled my heart around his finger as effortlessly as I spun a strand of his hair around mine.
Since we had spoken down by the waterfront, I felt like a burden had been lifted from of me. As if I had needed that additional display of insight by him or anything else to make me fall further under his spell.
He was going to hate me when I ended it. I had no choice. Despite the promise he had extracted from me.
As soon as we’d returned to his apartment, he’d plunged his hands into my hair, his fingers combing my ponytail holder loose. Long strands had fallen soft as a silken cloud around my shoulders.
“Get out of your clothes, and get into the bed,” he ordered and I complied savoring my reward, his warm lips covering my own. He climbed on top of me already naked himself, his arousal rock hard and insistent against my abdomen.
“What are you doing?” I asked as he pulled my arms over my head, and I felt the soft tug of thick nylon around my wrists.
“Proving something. Several things actually.”
“What?” I turned my head to the side as he secured one of my wrists to the headboard. “Wait, why are you tying me up?” He ratcheted his guitar strap tighter around my wrists before moving to the other side. “First things first.” Amber eyes delved deep. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes, Dizzy,” I said without having to even think about the answer. He’d proved he was trustworthy, time and time again with his actions. It was me that I didn’t trust.
“Thank you.” He smiled such a wide smile that his perfect white teeth practically blinded me. He stroked my cheek with his ringed thumb. “See.” He held my eyes. “You’ve already learned one important thing and I haven’t even gotten started yet.”
The Complete Tempest World Box Set Page 121
