She returned my perusal for a long beat. “You’ve changed,” she decided and reached out to tuck a strand of loose hair that had escaped my ponytail behind my ear.
“Being on your own makes you grow up pretty fast.” I admitted.
“I’ll bet.” She looked me square in the eyes. “Falling in love with someone will do that, too. The world’s suddenly not all about you anymore, is it?”
“What...who...I’m not...” I sputtered like a fish out of water.
“You are.” She cocked her head to the side. “I thought you were chasing after Dizzy a month ago, but I think you were just running away from your feelings for Sager all along.”
Fuck. Even though she was only a couple of years older, I forgot how wickedly wise she was.
“Yes. You’re right,” I admitted. “And I’m scared shitless. He’s so sweet, April and so smart. And so incredibly sexy.” My cheeks warmed.
“I can see that he is all those things to you,” she summarized. “So what’s the problem?”
“All the above.” I arched a brow. “He’s the kind of guy who wants a relationship. I’m the hookup queen. He’s a deep thinker. I’m a college dropout now. One who has her whole future riding on an ‘expensive hobby’.” I used air quotes and mimicked my father’s voice. “Then there’s the fact that he’s a big rock star who has his pick when it comes to bodacious babes. Just like my dad did. And he’s going on the road soon. So it’s temporary at best. I’m going to get my heart ripped out in the end. I’ll be lucky if it still beats anymore after him.” I let out a heavy sigh, my eyes filling with stupid tears.
“Aw, honey.” She took my hands and steered me toward the pair of high backed chairs by the elevators. She sank into one and kept my hands as I sagged into the other. “First off, you’re not a slut. You are sweet, too, in your own way.” She squeezed my fingers. “You’re always way too hard on yourself.” She leaned closer. “I understand how you feel about the tour. Mary’s really pushing them to get ready, and I totally empathize about the babes.” Her brow creased over her jade eyes that reflected trepidations of her own. “Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Be honest. Share your concerns and expectations. Get to a good solid place of mutual understanding before he goes away.”
I suspected that’s what she had done with Dizzy, though she didn’t specifically admit it. I was mulling over her suggestions when a rush of cold air breezed over us. I reflexively turned my head to the side to see who had come through the door, secretly hoping it might be Sager coming back early from the band meeting with the Queen. It was Lace Lowell instead. My gaze stalled on the angry red welt on her cheek. I remembered what Sager had told me last night. Holy shit. Avery Jones might’ve lost the fight, but I don’t think Lace was going to ever underestimate her as an adversary again. I made a mental note to stay off the red headed guitarist’s shit list.
“Hey, Tempest bitches.” Lace grinned beneath her cap of platinum hair. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much,” April replied her tone a little off. I glanced at her briefly wondering why.
“I’m thinking maybe that’s not entirely true since you two seem to be on speaking terms again.” Lace slid her gaze back and forth between April and me. “Am I right?”
We both nodded.
“That’s good. No need for any additional drama with the guys getting ready to hit the road.” She honed her attention on me. “Bry says Sager’s pretty serious about you, pixie.”
My lips lifted. I couldn’t help it. He was talking to his bandmates about me. That was serious in and of itself.
“Ah- ha.” Lace snapped her fingers “So it goes both directions. I knew it. Are you coming to the Mine tonight to hang with all of us?” She asked expectantly.
I shook my head. “I’ve got to get back to Whistler for training.”
“Well, another time then. You’ve got another race coming up soon, don’t you?”
“Yeah.” Nerves that were already on edge tensed at the reminder. “Friday.”
“Same day the guys’ tour stuff kicks off.”
I nodded.
“You gonna let Sager know where he stands with you before they leave?”
“What do you mean?” I tilted my head.
“Aw, c’mon, Bluebelle. The guys talk when they think I’m not listening. Sometimes they act more like girls than we do,” she explained. “You should tell him how you feel. Don’t leave things like that up to chance. Take it from me. I lost a lot of years with a great guy for that reason. Don’t make the same mistake.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Melinda
“No, babe. No way you’re taking the bus. I’m driving you back.” Sager shrugged into his jacket. “It’ll give us more time to talk. You know I have to hit the road soon.”
“But you’ll see me Friday, right?” My insides churned. Had he changed his mind? Was he ending us now? Preemptively? Before the band went out on the road. I hitched my overnight bag higher on my shoulder and turned away to grab my purse while avoiding his gaze. I didn’t want him to see my panic.
Heavy hands fell on my shoulders. He turned me to face him. His brow scrunched beneath a long swath of his hair as he studied me. I reached up and smoothed it away, my fingers almost operating on their own accord as they drifted deeper into his silky hair, sifting through the layers, memorizing the way it felt.
“Of course I’ll see you on Friday.” He reached for and captured my restless hands bringing them to his lips, pressing a warm kiss into each palm before lifting his gaze to peer at me through his sinfully long lashes. “I want to spend every minute I can with you. I haven’t changed my mind about anything. Have you?”
Struck mute by his beauty and the hint of vulnerability in his gaze, I shook my head.
“Good.” He straightened and jingled the Hummer keys. “Let’s get going. I wanna make it back in plenty of time to take you out to dinner.” He slid my overnight bag off of my shoulder and put it on his own before steering me from the apartment, down the hall and out to the elevators.
“What’s your schedule going to be like this week?” I asked him after he pressed the call button. He hadn’t talked much about it since his return from the band meeting with Mary though there was a degree of somberness to his expression that I hadn’t noticed before.
“It’s going to be busy as shit.” He rubbed a thumb across his sculpted lips. “We have to finalize the recordings. Do a few unplugged videos of a couple of the songs that Mary has chosen. She’s still not totally happy with ‘Beauty’. She thinks it might be improved by a female voice.” He hit me with a meaningful gaze. “I mentioned you.”
“Oh, Sager.” I touched his face, stroking his cheek with my fingers and he covered my hand with his own pressing it deeper into his skin. “I’d be honored to help if you like, but I don’t know when I’ll find the time.”
“There’s no rush, Blue. We’re going to recut a version of that song as bonus content for the deluxe album. I’m just thrilled you’d even consider it.”
“I’m glad to do it. I’d love to sing with you, even if our voices are only mixed together after the fact.”
“Same here.” He drew me into the arriving elevator and pressed me backward into the wall showing me as soon as the doors closed how very much my answer had pleased him. The long languid toe curling kiss didn’t end until we arrived at the lobby.
Fingers entwined, we trekked side by side past the gift shop on our way to the parking garage. He clicked the electronic locks, jogged ahead of me to open the passenger door and rounded the hood after I climbed into my seat. I turned toward him as he buckled in and was still staring at him when he cranked the ignition and steered the large vehicle proficiently out of the dimly lit low roofed garage and into the glaring midafternoon sun.
“Sager…” I began, remembering April’s and Lace’s advice and trailing off as I nervously gnawed on my bottom lip.
“Yeah, babe?” he replied absently, not picking up on my nervous v
ibe because of all of the dense downtown traffic. We hadn’t even reached the real snarl where all the lanes converged at the Lion’s Gate bridge.
“I...we...you said if you could love anyone that maybe it might be someone like me.” He snapped his head my way, focusing his intense gaze my direction.
“I didn’t mean just anyone,” he clarified, his voice low. “I meant you, Blue.”
“Yes. Well…” I licked my dry lips and swallowed. “What if I already felt that way now about you? Is it too soon?” I whispered.
“Fuck.”
I stiffened and looked away, tears pricking my eyes. I didn’t want to see the rejection in his gaze. My chest burned. Why had I decided to do this now? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid me. I had nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide.
“Melinda.” He reached for my hand and squeezed it firmly. “Do you wanna blow my fucking mind saying something like that while I’m stuck in traffic? When I can’t grab you and hold you and show you how much it means to me for you to say it?”
I turned my eyes to his, mine widening with surprise at the depth of emotion brightening his.
“I love you, Melinda. I was planning to tell you at dinner.”
A wide slow grin spread across my face. My heart thumped excitedly inside my chest.
“She gets it,” he said. “Finally. I don’t know how you couldn’t see it for yourself. It’s been only you for me from nearly the very beginning. I’ve been following you around like a lost puppy since we were first introduced. How could you not realize how crazy I am about you?”
“It’s been you for me, too,” I confessed.
“Hardly.” He made a disbelieving noise and flicked on the blinker to enter the scenic Sea to Sky Highway. But I didn’t notice the mountains on the right or the ocean on the left. My gaze was fixated on the man beside me, a much more compelling view to me.
“It has,” I insisted. “Really. But I was scared. I’m just me, and you’re not like any other guy I’ve ever known.”
“You being you is exactly why I fell for you. Sensitive. Smart. Sassy. Sexy.” His brow creased. And you can be sure that I’m not like those other guys.” He dipped his gaze and smoothed his thumb across my fingers to soften his words. “They treated you like shit, Melinda.”
“Yeah.” I glanced away. “I guess I’m kinda used to being an afterthought.” I shrugged one shoulder as if that were a casual observation to make, but the immense weight of hurtful truth behind those words was far from it.
“If you’re talking about your father, I understand. I know you love him. But I just hate it that he hurts you.”
So insightful. I glanced back at him. “Thank you.” I was happy he didn’t try to sugarcoat or dismiss my neurosis. “I was trying to run away from my feelings for you.” I dropped all pretense and gave it to him straight. The time to play it safe was over if I wanted a real shot with him. “But I’m not running anymore.”
• • •
Sager
I pulled over at the first semi-safe opportunity, throwing open my door, shimmying alongside the Hummer as the traffic whizzed by before coming around to her side. Her eyes went wide when I yanked open her door, unbuckled her seat belt and practically ripped her out of the seat so I could clutch her to me. “Blue.” A string of irreverent curses bled from my lips that would’ve had Abuelita sending me straight to the priest for confessional for a month if she had heard me. “You realize you just made me the happiest dumbfuck on the planet, don’t you?”
She giggled. “Maybe I’m getting a little bit of an idea.”
“I love the sound of your laughter. You’re even more beautiful when you’re happy like this.” I framed her face with my hands and watched her eyes brighten.
“You make me happy Sager. So happy sometimes that it scares me.”
“There you go again.” My gaze remained steady on hers, the way my heart was. “Love shouldn’t be scary Melinda. It should be exciting. It should bring hope where none existed before.”
“Maybe for you it’s that way.” She shook her head. “It isn’t for me. Not because my feelings aren’t real, but because I’ve got a lifetime of insecurities to work out before I can get to the same place that you are.”
“Fair enough. I’m patient. We’ll get you there, Blue. Together. However long it takes.” I pressed a firm kiss to her lips to seal my commitment. A car honked several times as it zipped past. I wanted to do more than just kiss her, but the narrow shoulder of the Sea to Ski Highway wasn’t the place.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Melinda
“C’mon, Blue. Hurry up. We’re gonna be late,” Sager complained, and I heard my mattress box springs creaking along with the impatience in his tone.
“I know. Hold on. Just give me two more seconds.” I stepped over the pile of rejected dresses on the bathroom floor. They plus the one I currently wore represented the sum total of what I owned. I was a jeans and no frills kind of girl most of the time, but tonight was special. The man I loved, who somehow incredibly loved me in return, was taking me out to dinner, and then after that I wouldn’t see him again for almost a week.
I glanced at my reflection in the mirror one last time, used the pad of my thumb to smooth my lip gloss, turned away, tugged down the hem of the little black dress I had finally decided upon and took a deep breath for courage knowing Sager was sitting on my bed waiting. I so wanted him to be pleased. My gaze was expectant as I popped open the door.
“Holy Mary Mother of God!” he exclaimed scanning me head to heels and then back up again lingering on the significant amount of cleavage the low neckline exposed. “Um, hell no, babe.” His eyes narrowed when they met mine. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Every guy in the place will be eyeing you up and down and imagining things.” He swallowed, his voice sounding significantly huskier when he continued. “Hell, they won’t have to imagine much.” He stood, closed the foot of distance separating us and smoothed his artist’s hands over the shiny black satin outline of my curves from the slopes of my breasts to the indentation at my waist before he stopped at my hips where his fingers flexed into my flesh. He hitched me a step closer. My nipples hardened, and that place between my legs began to throb. His touch electrified me everywhere it went. Every single time. I wet my dry lips, and his dark gaze dipped to my mouth. His grip on my hips tightening, he brought his body in direct alignment with mine.
I could feel the aroused length of him. I sighed with bliss.
He lowered his head, the silky tendrils of his hair teasing my cheek as he pressed a soft kiss beneath my ear then traced his nose along the column of my neck, inhaling deeply as if my scent were intoxicating. I shivered, my nipples drawing tight enough to ache and my sex noticeably slick with hot heat.
“We don’t have to go out,” I whispered.
“Yes, we do.” He lifted his head and took a purposeful step backward, releasing me though his expression revealing that it pained him to do so. “I want to show you off, Melinda. You look fucking amazing.” He raked his hair off his forehead. “I guess I’m gonna have to get used to it and learn to deal with all the attention from the other guys.” He lifted his gaze. “Hope you can be patient with me.”
“Easily,” I told him, sliding my palm across the dark stubble on his cheek and into his thick hair.
“Don’t deserve you, Blue.”
“Jury’s still out on that one,” I replied.
“I beg to differ.”
“Then we’ll have to agree to disagree.” I smiled softly, enjoying the easy banter, the comfortable intimacy after our declarations while knowing that I was falling more and more for him every single minute. He took my hand away from his face, turned it over, touched his lips firmly to the center of my palm. Then he gathered both of my hands in both of his and peered down at me, his expression suddenly serious and a bit guarded.
“You look like a quadrillion bucks,” he said, and I was flattered, but his attention seemed to be riveted on the three carat diamond studs my mot
her had worn before my father passed them to me. I had put them on symbolically to convince myself that I could merge my past and the future with Sager into something new and lasting. “I’ve got money now, Blue,” he continued, his voice low and almost apologetic. “Not as much as you’re probably used to, but enough to take care of you decently.”
“I don’t care about that,” I began. “Just to know that you…”
“I care,” he shushed my protest, touching and pressing the roughened tips of his fingers over my lips. I kissed them without even thinking about it, wanting to lighten the seriousness within his gorgeous eyes. “I’ve been more cautious with my finances since King’s dad had his heart attack. And with this new tour, the nest egg I have saved will grow. I might not be able to fly you first class to see me on the weekends when I’m out on the road on this fucking long tour, but I should be able to swing coach fare.” His piercing gaze delved more deeply into mine. “I can take you out to fancy restaurants like the one we’re going to tonight. I want to give you nice dinners and pretty things. You deserve them. But in the end underneath the rock star bullshit and all that goes with it, I’m just me. A guy from the wrong side of Seattle with a really bad temper and maybe one of the shittiest genetic trees that ever grew.” He swallowed and I watched his Adam’s apple bob before lifting my eyes. “Will that be enough for you?”
“You are more than enough for me.” My eyes burned. Touched by his tenderness and his desire to take care of me, I realized that Sager and I were really more alike than different, especially emotionally. Life had battered our sensitive psyches around and we both bore the scars from it. “It’s you that needs to know upfront that I don’t mind dressing up on occasion. Putting on my mother’s earrings. Being eye candy for your arm. But that’s not the real me. I’m a bit of a thrill seeker. My dad’s right about that. I’m more a tomboy than a glamour gal. I’m much more comfortable in my jeans than in a dress and high heels. And I don’t have any nest egg to share, only myself, my ambitions and my farfetched dreams.”
The Complete Tempest World Box Set Page 147
