“The Sexxy Club would love to have their queen back on stage,” Mike said, seeming to be thinking aloud as he liberally smothered butter on his toast. “We can’t count on them being a roadblock. But given the shape she’s in, she’ll have to demonstrate to them that she can do her full routine before they’ll let her in front of a real audience. So we have a little time to convince her to change her mind. “
“Ok, so I’ll go with her to her practices, and we both keep pressing on the counselor front.”
“She’s strong but too stubborn for her own good.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “She has all that inner strength at her disposal, but she’s spending it on resisting us instead of using it to get herself better. It sucks.” I didn’t want to change her. But I knew. I fucking knew if she didn’t stop running from what had happened she and I would never get to the place I wanted. Her in my arms with no room for anything to ever come between us again.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Miriam
I avoided searching for him in the darkness as I danced, but I knew he was out there watching and disapproving. I couldn’t shake him. For two weeks running now. Two weeks of him strutting around my house dressed in little but those decadent maroon boxer briefs of his. He had some in every color, but the maroon ones were my favorite. I could barely think coherently around him, let alone breathe without feeling light headed as I drew in his lime and salty scent and remembered how hot it had been being in the same bed with him.
Or inside a plane lavatory.
Or on that pallet in his backyard.
Hell. Tied up or fucked against a shower wall. I would take him any way I could get him. But I was beginning to suspect that I was never going to get him again at all.
I had a new alarm system. They had taken the tape off of Mike’s nose and the bindings from his ribs. The bruises on each of us had mostly faded. I wasn’t hideous anymore. Nor was I in any direct danger, yet Juaquin remained, though he had commitments elsewhere. I knew it was mostly because he felt sorry for me. Responsible maybe because of the sacrifice I had made to Campanella for his sake. A serious lapse in judgment on my part, but whatever, it led to the same result. Things were on the skids between us. I just needed to woman up. Cut him loose. Say goodbye. For real this one last time.
Arms on either side of the rim, I dipped my body into the basin of the tub imagining his body was beneath me, and his cock was inside of me. My breathing grew labored. My pussy wet. One of life’s sad little ironies to go so long without sex when both the source of my sexual frustration and the cure was so near. I continued with my routine, telling myself the male groan I heard was only wishful thinking.
• • •
“Goodbye, Queen, and good luck. I’ll see you later tonight.” I looked into the dressing room mirror and met her eyes, ignoring the concern I saw inside them.
“Thanks, Trinity.”
All the other girls were gone. Mike had gone back to the house hours ago. But I had been slow in shedding my workout clothes. Dancing didn’t energize me like it used to. I seemed to always be tired lately, like I was weighted down by the memories of what had happened inside that locked hotel room. Every move I made dancing or otherwise felt like I did it with lead shackles around my ankles.
I could see King. The door to the hallway stood propped open. He waited, leaning casually against the wall, one ankle crossed over the other, both thumbs tucked into the front pockets of his jeans. So sexy. Too much temptation to contemplate going home with him just yet. Watching him each night, his routine had rarely varied. First, he unbuckled his jeans. Then he reached back to peel off whatever tight tee he had worn, revealing all the chiseled strength he possessed. He removed everything in its turn but the boxers. He had a striptease that could earn him a fortune if he ever went public with it.
My cell rang. Well, it buzzed. I had the ringer off so it really only walked across the counter. The same counter King had once fucked me on. Oh my. I had been planning to ignore the call. I kept my phone mostly on airplane mode these days and used that as an excuse to avoid almost everyone. Occasionally I spoke with Jasmine. My mom. My brother. But I shut them down if they pushed at all. Even Ann. Even knowing they were well intentioned. But with my thoughts running the way they presently did, the very tactile memory of his strong fingers gripping my thighs and separating them before he… I swallowed and looked away from the counter, but only to catch Juaquin stretching his arms over his head, his shirt lifting revealing ripped abs. Defined v. That arrow of dark hair. My phone danced again. This time I didn’t ignore it.
“Hello.” I licked my lips, still staring at Juaquin. He stared right back.
“Hey, MJ. Guess what?”
“What?” It must be good. Mike sounded like he was bouncing on the tips of his toes.
“Alex is here.”
“That’s fantastic. I didn’t know he was coming.” Had Mike told me, and I had forgotten? Admittedly, I had been knocking around in my own head a lot lately.
“He surprised me. His film finished early. Come home and get dressed up. He wants to meet Juaquin. He’s taking us all out to celebrate.”
• • •
King
I watched her practice each evening. Still so seductive. So mesmerizing on that stage. So sexy that I had to finish in the shower what she had started. An unsatisfying substitution, I wanted her for real, but I wouldn’t push her until she was ready. Not that she applied the same parameters to herself.
It was too soon for her to take the stage. She wasn’t the same up there, not even in practice. It certainly didn’t seem to me like she was taking charge of her life by going back to stripping. It felt like she was giving up on it.
So why was she so dead set on doing it?
The club wasn’t the only place I watched her. I watched her all the time. Every morning, she got out of bed. She went through the motions, but she never greeted the dawn with her former sense of anticipation.
Why not?
Was it yet another part of herself that she had lost because of my failure to protect her?
For two weeks, I had been waiting and watching for the old Miriam to step from behind the curtain but all I kept seeing was a silhouette.
“Oh there you are,” she called, and I moved out of the dark hallway where I had been standing watch over her while she dressed. From the outside it might seem obsessive, but I refused to be more than a breath away. Should she need me again, I would not fail her.
I stepped into the light.
“Whoa,” she said after a long head to toe check of me. “I’ve gotten used to seeing you around the house in jeans and a t-shirt, sometimes a lot less. But wow.” She pulled in and let out a long breath. “You look like you stepped out of a men’s fragrance spot. You know, the ones where they’re on location somewhere exotic like Monte Carlo and the guy’s all dressed up and he stalks toward the girl and the camera fades out as they embrace to show a bottle of cologne?”
“Really?” My lips lifted slowly as I stepped closer. “I like the scene you’re describing. Maybe we can act it out.”
“I’m almost ready.” She ignored my suggestion. “But I’m having trouble with the clasp on this necklace. Can you help me put it on?”
“Sure.”
“Thanks.” Her fingertips lightly skimmed my palm as she dropped the delicate silver chain onto it. She pivoted on her rhinestone heels, the long slit in her strapless gown splitting to reveal the shapely length of her leg from her ankle to her creamy upper thigh. My cock always ready and willing in her presence became more eager. Lifting the weight of her hair, she gave me another intoxicating view, this time of her backside and the regal column of her neck.
“It’s a pretty piece.” My voice was thick as I reached around her, wanting so badly to pull her sexy body back into me, to lock my arms around her and hold her tight, but I knew I couldn’t. Unless she was in the throes of one of her nightmares she panicked whenever I tried to embrace her.
/> Small steps, I reminded myself. They would lead to bigger ones. I just had to be patient.
I fastened the necklace and gently turned her back around. “Caramba.” I slid my gaze slowly over her. “I might look like a model, but you look like you stepped out of a painting, like one worthy of the Louvre, one people come from around the world to see.”
“Tell me more.” Her expression dreamy, her voice sounded like it did each night after I had stripped to my underwear and lay down on the floor beside her. Why though? Because of the scene I had described, because she liked my fingers skimming her flesh or because of the firm grip I had on her shoulders now?
“She’s beautiful, that woman in the portrait.” My gaze searched hers. “Beautiful like you. She’s wearing the dress she will wear for her coronation.” She returned my gaze steadily, her lids lowering as if seduced by my touch and the sound of my voice. “There’s a faraway look in her eyes, a mystery within their grey-green depths. She’s not imagining how it will be when they place a crown upon her head to match her king’s, but rather how wonderful it will be later in his bed.”
“Not much like that with you and me though.” A shadow clouded her gaze. “You don’t even kiss me anymore.” A grey storm clouded her eyes. “We’re more Game of Thrones where kings stand beside their queens for duty’s sake.” She stepped back. My hands fell to my sides. “Easier for them to get laid at the brothel than deal with the messed-up ones they have at home.”
“What. The. Fuck,” I exclaimed, and she flinched another step backward, her eyes widening.
“That’s such a pile of bullshit what you just said that I don’t even know where to start with it.”
“I’m tired. It was a dumb comment. I didn’t mean anything by it. Sometimes I just feel morose. You were complimenting me, and I ruined it by not thinking before I opened my stupid mouth. I ruin a lot of things that way. You’ve seen me do it with my mother. My brother. And now I’ve done it with you. I’m sorry.” Her eyes filled. But at least it was emotion, more than I’d seen from her in weeks. She flitted around on the periphery of living, floating away like an apparition whenever things got the slightest bit intense. She was becoming more and more a shadow of her vibrant self.
“Nothing that has happened has changed who you are to me.” Not if she didn’t let it. Not if she identified the bad stuff and dealt with it so we could finally start living a real life together. “You’re my queen. You’ll always be mine.” And I would always be hers. “There are no do overs once you decide on who you love when it comes to Acenado men. My grandfather, Abuelita’s husband, cherished her till the day he died. I’ve never even seen my father turn his head sideways to look at another woman. And I love you, Reina. I will always love you.”
“Alright.” She tipped her head back, a black waterfall spilling around her delicate shoulders, as cool as water and as soft as silk. “Well, I just need to find my clutch and I’ll be ready to go.” She blinked retreating to that place I couldn’t seem to reach even though I knew I had gotten closer to the source of the problem. I knew she feared that we couldn’t ever get back to where we had been before. I might have a grasp on what ailed her, but I couldn’t remedy it. To be healed, she had to do the hard work herself. But she refused to take the first step. The hardest step. Admitting that there was a problem.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in this dress.” I retreated to safer ground. Regrouped. Settling for watching and waiting for another opportunity. Struggling with doubts of my own. Hard to rescue my queen when she stayed hidden behind her castle walls.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
Miriam
“Thanks for the compliment, Alex. It’s an old dress, though, I just haven’t worn it before. You look really nice, too. And the two of you together are fantastic.”
“I agree. We are.” Alex grinned, a megawatt movie star smile that was made even more appealing by the fact that it was lopsided and genuine. He stared into Mike’s cornflower blue eyes while he blazed all that glory. “Definitely better together.” He tore his gaze from my best friend and turned to face me again. The flickering candles atop the white table cloth glittered in his light blue eyes and highlighted his sun-bleached locks.
“The separations are difficult.” I glanced at Mike for confirmation.
“Very.” He nodded, his admission confirming that he had shared his feelings with his partner instead of suppressing them like I kept doing. “Which is why we’re not doing them anymore.” He brought their joined hands out from under the table. Two matching platinum bands captured and reflected the candlelight, but the happiness within my bestie’s eyes outshone them both.
“No freaking way!” I’d had a feeling that tonight was more than just a reunion, about something more than just my return to the stage. “Is it really true?”
“Yep. We’re engaged.” Mike didn’t have time to brace. I leapt up and nearly knocked over the bucket of expensive chilled champagne as I launched myself at him. I dislodged his grip on Alex’s hand, but the movie star would just have to deal. I knew how much this meant to my roomie, how long he had waited, how much he hoped and dreamed Alex would pop the question. I kissed him on the lips and threw my arms around his neck.
“Whoa.” Two other male voices protested.
I pulled back and shot Alex a look. “You’ll have a lifetime to kiss him.” The times I could would soon be few and far between. I could see the writing on the wall. “So when is the big date?” I asked as I returned to my seat. Tears sparkled in my eyes, great big bittersweet ones. I dropped my chin into my hands waiting to be filled in.
“As soon as we can get the necessary paperwork completed,” Alex replied. “Neither one of us needs or wants a big ceremony.”
“We just want to get started on our lives together,” Mike clarified.
“Oh.” I had hoped for a year of planning an elaborate wedding. My bestie had mentioned more than once wanting one. He had a Pinterest board with ideas. They must have compromised. Which left me with no time to prepare to lose my best friend.
“So where will you live?” As if I couldn’t guess.
“LA, probably.” Alex glanced at Mike. Maybe that part wasn’t set in stone. Good. Mike didn’t like the City of Angels any more than I did.
“Have you considered anyplace else?” They probably wouldn’t stay in our duplex long. It was too small for three. The tiny bedrooms had just enough space for the twin beds we had placed in each of them. But if they stayed, at least a while, it would give me more time to adjust. Unless they weren’t planning to stay at all. Maybe they were leaving in the morning. How long did it take to get the necessary paperwork?
My chest grew so tight I could barely breathe. Suddenly, I felt a warm hand on my thigh. Juaquin. I glanced away from the couple as he stroked my thigh. A reassuring touch. I could see the empathy in his eyes. They were as warm as his skin. He wanted me to know he was there. That he understood. He could surely feel the tension in my body. Hear the rising panic in my voice. My lips lifted. I gave him a soft smile. It was real. How could I not give him something real when he was being so understanding? But though real, my eyes stung with a tinge of the bitter truth. Like Mike, he would go soon, too. I was drowning. Those weights around my ankles were pulling me under. Juaquin said he loved me, and I believed him, but I couldn’t accept it. Not with me like this. He deserved better. I might go down, but I refused to take him down with me.
• • •
King
It killed me to sit beside her and watch her pretend to be excited as the couple described plans that would lead her best friend away from her.
“Miriam.” Mike captured her hands. They had started to flutter as Alex had gone into a long and winding explanation about how they were planning to apply for a confidential marriage because of his career. How they had to prove they were already living together in California in order to be approved for the special license that kept their union out of the prying public record.
“Yes?” She blinked at him. She had been trying to clear tears from her eyes since the engagement had been announced. She was fighting them admirably, as well as her evident panic, but it hurt me to watch her struggle and not be able to do anything to help her.
“I won’t go anywhere,” Mike declared. “I’ll stay in the house with you as long as you need me to stay.” Apparently I wasn’t the only one attuned to her.
“Of course he will,” Alex confirmed. “We’ll make it work. You’ve had a hard time recently. Mike loves you so I love you, too. Whatever it takes to get you better, we’ll gladly do it.”
“I’m fine.” A lie as big as any she had ever told. “Truly.” She removed my hand from her thigh. “I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself. I love that you would be willing to put your lives on hold for me, but it’s not necessary. I have an alarm system. I have a job here. I’m restarting it tonight.” She glanced at her phone as it dinged with an alert. “Oh shit.” She pushed back from her chair. “I need to go.”
“We both need to go.” Mike scooted out from his side of the table opposite us.
“I’ll pay the check.” Alex lifted his hand to get the waiter’s attention.
“I’ll have the Hummer brought around,” I offered.
“Thank you.” Miriam gave me a wobbly smile of gratitude. I preferred her real one, but I hadn’t seen it since Seattle. But I would take what I could get. I stroked a finger down her soft cheek. “I’ll get you there in plenty of time, Reina.” My words and my touch seemed to reassure her.
The Complete Tempest World Box Set Page 185
