by Riley Rivers
Now that he was more lucid, he could definitely see how Chris had tried to handle him carefully. Chris, with his beautiful, intricate tattoos on his skin, his easy words, his gentle smile.
Ryan wanted more. Wanted Chris’s touch. His mouth, his fingers—he wanted to climb into Chris’s lap again, splay out underneath him. Wanted Chris to run his hands over his body and let Ryan sink into being the creature he was as Chris took his own pleasure and took care of Ryan’s too. Chris would be an attentive lover. Ryan knew that as well as anything. Could practically sense it. Chris’s kisses had been so warm, so welcome, and Ryan would open up for him again so easily—
He jerked his hand away from his inner thigh, where he had absently started to stroke as arousal coursed through him at the memory and the overwhelming want. The new desire for Chris specifically. Ryan dug his nails into his palms and sat up, biting his lip and trying to push that desire away. He was a sexual being and these sorts of thoughts were second nature to him, but even at his hungriest and desperately fantasizing about someone who could feed him properly, he had never felt like this before. Focusing on someone in particular was new. Wanting someone in particular was new.
But it was one thing to get Chris off. It was another for Chris to reciprocate, when he was just doing Ryan a favor.
Ryan swallowed as the next realization hit him. He’d repaid that favor by running away. Stupid. He’d just been so overwhelmed, and his first instinct had been to make sure Chris knew he didn’t need to touch Ryan back even if Ryan had ached for it.
So he’d left Chris in the studio, the taste of Chris’s come on his tongue and the phantom feeling of Chris’s fingers in his hair. God, had he even said thank you? He couldn’t remember. It’d been a whirlwind.
Was it appropriate to try to thank him now? What could he even do? It wasn’t as though there was a card for “thank you for letting me blow you and letting me feed for the first time in months.” He snorted at the thought. Wrapped his arms around himself and tucked further into the couch, but when he closed his eyes, all he saw were the shifts and colors of Chris’s skin.
But it gave him an idea.
He had energy right now, plenty of time, and a favor to repay. It wouldn’t be much, but Chris had said before that while he didn’t have a great website, it wasn’t something he was getting around to. Ryan had the skills and, thanks to Skin and Ink’s Instagram, plenty of pictures to make Chris an online portfolio. Or at least a decent mock-up.
There. That was something he could do, and losing himself in work would be a welcome distraction.
If it gave him a reason to contact Chris again, if only to set up what he’d built on Chris’s current domain, well… it wasn’t as though anything else would happen. But it’d be nice to see him again anyway. Talk to him.
He’d really enjoyed just talking to Chris. Ryan had almost forgotten what it was like to simply have a conversation with a guy he was attracted to. Maybe… maybe Chris wouldn’t be too opposed to hanging out, once in a while, if Ryan was careful and made sure not to let on just how much he wanted more.
***
Chris had made the decision to give Ryan a couple of hours to settle before texting him. Since he was already at his studio, he spent some time cleaning. He was closed on Mondays so he had a Sunday-Monday weekend, but extra sanitation was never a bad thing. Especially considering what had ah, happened on the couch.
He took a break to grab something to eat and try to do some more research on incubi. There were a few legitimate forums hidden among the overall nonsense of the internet that were useful, viable sources of information. Another way for people in the magical world to connect and talk and help each other out when needed.
It took some digging, but Chris found a few topics that looked promising. He was reading through “my girlfriend just found out she’s an incubus, how can I be a support” when his phone buzzed in his hand, displaying a message from… Ryan.
Chris hadn’t expected Ryan to make first contact, so it was a pleasant surprise. He eagerly swiped to open the message.
Hope things are okay. Thank you again for earlier. I made you something. Here. followed by a link.
Chris had to smile a little at the tone of the text. Blunt and kind of brusque, which fit Ryan to a T. Curious, he clicked on the link.
He blinked down at his phone when it opened to a website with the Skin and Ink logo proudly displayed in the header and a sleek front page with his studio’s information. Another click took him to an About the Artist page, complete with a bio that, Chris realized upon reading it, had been created from what he’d told Ryan when they’d walked to the studio earlier that day.
And if that didn’t just make him flush with pleasure, that not only had Ryan listened, he’d paid attention. Like he really had been interested. Cared about Chris and his passion.
A final link led him to a portfolio page. Full of pictures, easy to see and click through and enlarge for detail. Under each image were the little descriptions Chris recognized from his Instagram posts. Ryan must has sourced the photos and everything from there.
It was simple but elegant, perfectly fit the atmosphere and aesthetic of his studio, and clearly had time and thought put into its creation. Chris couldn’t help the overwhelming fondness that came over him at picturing Ryan working on this. Making this for him.
His phone buzzed with another message.
It’s pretty simple. Ryan had written. Obviously tell me if you want anything changed. But if you like it, I can set it up on your current domain. Or not. Or make you something else. Whatever you want.
It looks fantastic. Chris typed back with total honesty. I’d love to use it. What do I owe you?
The ellipses that showed a message was being typed came and went several times before he got back, Nothing. I’m glad you like it. I can show you how to navigate it and update it on your own if you don’t mind meeting in person for that.
Hell yeah Chris didn’t mind meeting in person again. And it was Ryan reaching out for another interaction. Ryan, who was tentative but trying, clearly scared but still willing to let Chris in.
Chris really didn’t want to mess this up. Want to meet up tomorrow? If you’re not busy. I’m closed Monday so I’m free all day. Whatever works for you.
Another short pause before Chris got back, I could meet you on Monday.
Awesome. Let’s set up a time.
Ryan had some Skype meetings in the morning, so they agreed to meet at Chris’s studio at one o’clock. Ryan would bring his laptop, and he’d help Chris set everything up using Chris’s work computer. Chris felt a little pang of weirdness at having Ryan come back to a place that was so thoroughly Chris’s territory, especially with what had happened between them there. But Ryan had been the one to suggest it so he hoped it would be fine. After a little thought, it made sense. Ryan didn’t seem very comfortable in busy, public places. Even if things would hopefully be better for him now, having recently fed, it stood to reason that he still had the mindset of populated areas being unsafe.
Chris couldn’t deny that he really liked the idea of Ryan thinking of Chris’s studio as a safe space.
Chapter Six
“—and I’ll be sure to add those new sales figures too,” Ryan told the man on his screen. “You should expect the new updates by Tuesday afternoon.”
“Great. Thanks, Ryan. And that’s all we need. Enjoy the rest of your day.”
“Thank you. You too.” The call disconnected and Ryan let out a breath. Skype calls were world’s better than face-to-face conversations for a number of reasons, but meetings were still stressful even if all he had to do was listen and take notes. Calculate how long it would take to update information or make changes, do the thing after he hung up. Simple enough, though usually unnecessary. Emails were a fine way to do back-and-forth, in Ryan’s opinion.
Whatever. He was done for now and it was about half past eleven. So he had around an hour to kill before heading out to Chris’s studio.
Around an hour before he saw Chris again.
He’d woken up jittery, an edge of hunger returning, and had nearly cried at the feeling coming back—and so soon. He’d hoped for longer before the urge to feed started to resurface. A week at least. It didn’t seem like so much to ask.
But he’d been hungry for a long time. One meal could only bank it for so long. And now that he’d had a taste it felt like it was only coming back stronger than ever.
But it would be okay for now. Even if his stomach had started to hurt again, it was just a dull ache instead of painful cramping, and so far the nausea remained at bay. He’d operated on much worse for much longer. He still had way more energy than he’d had in a while. It’d be fine. He’d figure something out.
He resolutely sat down at his desk and focused on work and not on Chris. Did not think of Chris’s smile, or the warmth of his hands on Ryan’s skin, his fingers in Ryan’s hair, the taste of him on Ryan’s tongue.
Thirty minutes later he got up, grumbling in frustration, and packed his laptop into his messenger bag. Pulled a hoodie on over his t-shirt, slung his bag over his shoulder, and left his apartment.
It was a beautiful day. Not hot, but warm enough that he wasn’t shivering under his hoodie. Pleasant with the sun shining down on his skin, and Ryan decided he was going to go for a walk.
It had to have been at least a month or two, possibly more, since he felt up to leaving his apartment for more than necessity. But now, even with some of his hunger returning, he still felt plenty energized. And it really was a nice day. Maybe… maybe after he and Chris were done with the website, they could go for a walk downtown together too. That’d be nice, to keep spending time with Chris. Talking to him and learning more about him. He was interesting. Kind. And he treated Ryan like a person, not a walking temptation. Even knowing what he was.
He was also so attractive it made Ryan ache, but that was a trait Ryan could continue to ignore. He already was ignoring it. No problem.
He walked several streets down, planning to turn back the moment he started feeling tired so that he could save some of his newfound energy for when he met up with Chris, but it was so nice out and it was such an anomaly to feel good that he kept going and going until he actually reached mainstreet on foot.
He’d moved to the area because the downtown section was close enough to walk to, though he hadn’t been up to doing that much walking in nearly a year. But he’d done it today. After a single, proper meal.
Ryan swallowed and tried not to think about what his life could be like if he was able to eat regularly. If he didn’t have to worry about what thralling victims meant.
If someone like Chris, who could be willing, wanted him. Really wanted him, regardless of aura, and wanted to feed him because they wanted him. If someone like Chris wanted to stay.
It was stupid. It was stupid to wish.
But maybe, if nothing else, Chris would be willing to be a friend. Hunger aside, another thing Ryan had to deal with was loneliness. Trapped in isolation because whenever he ventured out, he got… attention.
Thinking about it now made him shiver, and not from the cold. It was almost as if he could feel eyes on him again. Invisible hands. He surreptitiously looked around, but no one was watching him. People were walking past without stopping. For once, he wasn’t drawing people in. And his aura was pulled in tight. Without making him feel too sick, even.
He let out a breath and kept walking, trying to regain some of the pleasure of being outside in the sun without issue, but now that the thought had crossed his mind, he couldn’t shake it. Paranoid, he turned around, trying to pinpoint what had suddenly unsettled him. A couple with a baby carriage walking down the street. Three businessmen coming out of a restaurant. Two women jogging. A guy on his phone sitting on a bench.
It was probably nothing. He was just too used to being uncomfortable.
Ryan checked his own phone for the time. Ten to one. Time to meet Chris.
He tamped down the fluttering excitement that rose up within him at the prospect of seeing Chris again. Or tried to.
***
Clementine had badgered Chris all Sunday evening about how the meeting with Ryan had gone, and had gone straight to teasing when she learned all the details. She had, however, gone quiet when Chris had expressed how guilty he was feeling about the sex.
“But you helped,” she’d said at last. “And that was the whole point, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Chris had sighed. “But still I…”
“You helped,” she’d said again, more firmly. “And if he really had second thoughts about what had happened, he wouldn’t have asked to meet you again.”
“Right.” If Ryan didn’t want to see him again, he wouldn’t have reached out.
“He built you a website. That means something.”
“Yeah but… I don’t want it to be him trying to… pay for a service.”
“It’s a nice website and gives both of you a reason to see each other again. That means something.”
So that was what Chris was clinging to. Maybe after today he’d be able to invite Ryan out just for the sake of seeing him and Ryan would be comfortable enough to accept. That was the hope. Because Chris really wanted to keep seeing Ryan.
Now, at his studio with the lights on and door unlocked, he was trying not to feel nervous. He didn’t want to mess up and say the wrong thing and scare Ryan away. Ryan was twitchy enough as it was—and with good reason. Even if wanting to figure out the whole feeding thing was still very much on Chris’s mind, he had to tread incredibly carefully. The last thing he wanted to do was be another pushy guy.
He heard the door chime and eagerly looked up, only to frown at what he saw. Ryan had fairly flung himself through the door, and while Chris couldn’t help but admire his slim figure, only accentuated by his black jeans and overlarge red hoodie, he was more concerned with the fact that Ryan was wild-eyed and breathing hard.
Chris took a cautious step forward, not wanting to spook him. “Ryan? What’s wrong?”
Ryan jerked his head up to look at him, his hands clenched tight around the strap on his messenger bag. Every inch of him looked poised to run. Chris desperately wanted to tug him into a hug and run a soothing hand over his back.
He stayed where he was. “Ryan?”
Slowly, ever so slowly, Ryan breathed out, shoulders relaxing slightly. “Sorry,” he muttered, glaring at the floor. “Nothing’s wrong. Thanks for meeting me.”
“Thanks for wanting to meet,” Chris said easily, still not moving. “Did something happen?”
Ryan shook his head. “No. Not really.”
“Not really?”
Another headshake. “I just… it’s stupid.”
“Want to tell me?”
“Felt like someone was following me,” Ryan mumbled. “Forget it. It’s dumb.”
The urge to pull Ryan close and shield him from the world did not lessen. Chris steadfastly ignored it, but he did allow himself to take another step forward. “It’s not dumb, it’s upsetting. Is that something you have to deal with a lot?”
“It’s fine.” Which wasn’t an answer. “I don’t leave my apartment much.”
Don’t push, Chris reminded himself. “Okay. Well. How are you feeling?”
That got a small smile. “Pretty good. It’s sort of amazing. I kind of… forgot what it felt like.”
Forgot what it felt like to feel good? Chris bit his lip on more questions. “Glad to hear it,” he said instead.
“Here,” Ryan said quickly. “I brought my laptop. And you said you’ve got a computer here?”
“Right, yeah. Two—the front desk one, and the one in my office. Figured we’d use that one.”
“Okay.”
Chris led Ryan through the small studio and to the back, where his office was. It wasn’t huge; just big enough for a desk, his computer, some filing cabinets, and a couple chairs. But he kept it organized and clean—he was a stickler for cleanliness, especially
when it came to his studio—so the space worked well.
He grabbed one of the chairs and pulled it behind the desk next to his own, then took a seat and turned on his computer. Ryan plopped down next to him a moment later and dug through his messenger bag to pull out a USB. “You can log onto your own website with your credentials, and then I can go ahead and transfer the layout and content over.”
“Sounds good to me.” He grinned, tucking away Ryan’s little blush.
It didn’t take very long at all. Once Chris remembered his password to log into the admin part of his website, Ryan was easily able to set things up. “It’s because I‘m not building anything from scratch right now,” he explained. “I already have everything ready, so it’s just a matter of plug and play.” It didn’t make Chris any less impressed, and saying so just made Ryan blush harder.
Once the new website was set up, Ryan gave Chris a quick tutorial on how to edit it, showing him how to upload graphics and change and add descriptions. Chris practiced by adding an about page and small portfolio for his piercer, Eddie, though he didn’t make it live. He wanted to wait until he’d be able to run it by Eddie on Tuesday.
“And that’s that,” Ryan said, ejecting his USB and slipping it back into his messenger bag. “You’ve got a website that doesn't suck. Welcome to the modern age.”
Chris laughed, half in wonder at being able to see Ryan so at ease now. Every time Ryan dropped his walls and opened up, Chris fell just a little harder. It didn’t help that he kept being aware of how trusting Ryan was allowing himself to be, in order to drop those walls. “Yeah, yeah. I’m forever in your debt.”
Ryan gave him a funny look. “Uh, yeah. Okay.”
“Oh!” Chris dug a hand into his pocket. “I almost forgot—I made this for you.” He pulled out the talisman and held it out to Ryan, who reached forward to touch the little glass vial with the tips of his fingers.
