‘Hey,’ he said, crossing the gravel drive and taking a bag from her. They weighed a ton – he wondered what on earth she’d got in there.
‘Hi.’ Sarah looked uncomfortable. ‘I thought you’d have gone already.’
‘Nope,’ he said, following her back to the house. She opened the door with her key and dumped her bag in the hallway, switching on the lights. It was only half past two, but already almost dark. Thank goodness the shortest day was on its way and they’d be coming back to the light again. He hated the gloom of winter.
‘I thought your course didn’t finish until Monday?’
Sarah had only just headed off for the second part of her mindfulness course, disappearing with her bags laden with books and her meditation mat tucked under her arm.
‘It didn’t.’
He frowned. ‘What happened?’
‘I dunno.’ She sighed. ‘It was all a bit – intense this time. I found that every time we did mindfulness stuff, bad things would start going through my head and it made me feel like I was going to freak out.’
‘That’s why I’ve always found all that meditation stuff hard. If I want to get out of my head, I’ll read a book. I don’t really want to contemplate my inner thoughts, or whatever it is they do.’
‘I think the idea is, you’re not supposed to think about anything . . . But I just kept thinking about Mum, and what it was like growing up. And about Joe.’
‘What about him?’ His tone was careful. She hadn’t mentioned her ex in ages.
‘I dunno. It wasn’t all bad, you know.’
‘He hit you,’ he said, bleakly. ‘How bad does it have to get?’
‘I know, I know. I just . . .’ She tailed off. ‘Anyway, I realized that the last thing I needed was to be sitting on a yoga mat thinking about all that stuff. That was sort of the point. So I decided that maybe the best thing I could do was get back here, chill out by the fire with the dogs, watch a film and think about what I’m going to do next.’
‘You don’t have to do anything.’ He reached out, pulling her into a hug. ‘You’ve had enough shit to deal with, Sarah. Maybe it’s all right if you just do nothing for a bit.’
‘Maybe.’ She looked up at him and frowned thoughtfully. ‘Yeah, maybe that’s the answer. Where are the dogs, anyway?’ She stepped back, looking down the hall.
‘They’ve gone to Pippa for the night.’
‘Oh.’ She looked momentarily crestfallen. ‘Oh well, I’ll just flop on the sofa and watch crappy movies.’
‘There’s loads of stuff in the fridge if you’re hungry – and there’s champagne and wine if you want.’
He didn’t like to say that a tiny, hopeful part of him had stocked up the fridge with drinks and nibbles on the off chance that after the awards, he might persuade Hannah to come back and join him for a glass of champagne or something. He didn’t want to admit to himself what the something might be, but he’d found himself thinking about her more and more over the last few weeks.
‘Cool.’ Sarah picked up her bag. ‘I’ll deal with this later. Where are you off to?’
‘Oh, just some awards thing in London. Have a look, you might see us on the news later.’
‘Us?’ She cocked an eyebrow.
‘I’ve asked Hannah to come along. It’s got to be more fun with her there.’ He tried to keep his tone light.
She looked unconvinced. ‘Right, so you’re just hanging out, casually.’
‘Exactly.’
She rubbed her chin and raised both eyebrows, looking at him with a knowing expression.
‘Well, I hope I haven’t cramped your style, big bro.’
‘You have not.’ He shook his head, laughing. ‘Now I’d better get going.’
There was no way he was ever going to admit to her that yes, she absolutely had.
Chapter Twenty-nine
‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,’ called Katie, as Hannah climbed into the passenger seat of the car. She’d said goodbye to Ben in the house, but – studiously cool – he’d refused to come out and wave goodbye.
‘Oh, shut up,’ she said, laughing. Jake, who was putting her bags into the back of the car, didn’t seem to have heard. He sat down in the driver’s seat and turned on the engine.
‘Right then. London?’
‘London.’ She nodded.
For the first five minutes or so they sat in silence. Hannah began to feel slightly awkward. What on earth had she been thinking, agreeing to do this? Last night, after they’d eaten, she and Katie had Googled Jake – she’d felt guilty, but she’d gone along with it.
‘Let’s have a look at the competition,’ Katie had said, spinning round Hannah’s laptop and scrolling through Google Images. ‘He’s got a different model-actress-whatever on his arm in every bloody one of these.’
‘Is this supposed to help me?’ Hannah had dropped her head into her hands and groaned.
‘You’re gorgeous,’ Katie had said, trying to boost her confidence.
‘Not supermodel gorgeous.’
‘But it’s you he’s asked out, not them.’
‘Probably because he feels sorry for me,’ Hannah had said, shaking her head in horror.
Sitting in the car, she sneaked a sideways look at him as he drove down the country lanes towards the motorway. He’d had a haircut and the five-day beard he always wore looked as if it had been trimmed at the same time. He looked across at her, smiling.
‘What?’
‘Just wondering . . .’
‘Wondering what?’ He glanced left and right and pulled out onto the dual carriageway.
‘It’s a big house to live in on your own.’ Oh God, she’d started now, so she’d just have to go with it. ‘Don’t you ever feel like you’re rattling around in there?’
‘I’m not actually on my own at the moment.’
Her stomach sank like a stone. This is precisely why you don’t ask questions, Hannah, she told herself.
‘Oh?’
He raised a hand, rubbing at the back of his neck. ‘No.’ A muscle jumped in his cheek. ‘I’ve got someone staying with me right now.’
‘I see.’ She bit her lip, feeling stupid that she’d ever given credence to Katie’s bonkers idea that he was interested in her. ‘Does she not like award ceremonies?’
Jake gave a brief laugh. ‘Sarah?’ He shook his head. ‘No – I don’t know. It’s complicated.’
Hannah didn’t say anything. Next he’d be telling her she didn’t understand him.
‘She’s – oh, look, I can trust you.’ He stopped midway through his sentence and looked at her for a moment, taking his eyes off the road. She waited.
‘She’s my sister. Half-sister. She’s staying with me just now because she was in an abusive relationship and she found me and – well, it was the least I could do. I wish there was more.’
‘She found you?’
‘I didn’t know she existed. I grew up with my aunt and my cousin in Wythenshawe – we didn’t have much, but I had a decent sort of childhood. I feel awful knowing how Sarah was dragged up by our mum.’
‘You didn’t know your mum?’
‘Nope.’ He looked bleak for a moment. ‘In some ways, knowing what a hard time Sarah had, I feel – well, lots of things. Guilty I wasn’t around. Sad she lived the way she did. It’s complicated. Anyway, when she died, Sarah ended up having to fend for herself. Then she got involved with some arsehole who treated her like dirt.’
‘God.’ Hannah thought of the pale-faced girl she’d seen at the wheel of his car the night of Helen’s dinner party. ‘She’s the one who picked you up from Helen’s place?’
He nodded. ‘Yeah. I hoped we’d get away without anyone noticing.’
‘I don’t think anyone else did.’ She steepled her fingers, feeling her face turning pink. ‘I just did because – well, because I thought she must be a girlfriend.’
‘Absolutely not.’
The atmosphere in the car had shifted. It definitely w
asn’t her imagination. Jake’s hand sat on the gearstick, and she thought how easy it would be to reach across and cover it with her own. Maybe Katie wasn’t completely off the mark.
‘So there’s . . . I mean, you don’t have . . .?’
‘No, I do not.’ He looked at her then, amused. ‘If I did, do you think I’d be inviting you to an awards ceremony as my plus-one?’
She made an open-handed gesture. ‘I don’t know. I thought maybe you just wanted to – well, I thought perhaps you were feeling sorry for me, or something.’
‘Hannah,’ he said, his voice gentle, ‘I might’ve taken in my sister because she was escaping from a shitty relationship. I might have two rescue dogs and spend all the hours I have working on a village football team. But I did not – absolutely not – invite you because I felt sorry for you.’ He reached his hand across and touched the side of hers with the edge of his. ‘I invited you because I wanted to spend time with you – and because you’re the only person I know that could make something like this bearable. I hate all this stuff.’
She extended her little finger so it touched his, and then he covered her hand with his, holding it there on her thigh. She could hardly catch a breath, and her heart was crashing inside her ribs like it was trying to burst out.
‘It’s handy that we’re on the bloody M40 having this conversation, isn’t it?’ He tightened his grip on her hand. ‘Because there’s absolutely nothing I can do right now.’
‘Like what?’ She looked at him, lifting an eyebrow, feeling a strange new sense of confidence.
‘Like kiss you, for starters.’ He exhaled slowly. ‘This road is far too bloody long.’
The rest of the journey seemed to go past almost unbelievably slowly – but it was an exquisite sort of wait. They chatted about books, football, and growing up in Manchester; about places he’d visited as a player and countries they’d like to visit. They had so much to talk about and so much in common. She loved talking to him, but she was longing for the moment when he’d stop the car and – well, she couldn’t quite believe that anything was going to happen.
The five-star hotel was on an expensive street in London. They drove into the underground car park, Jake pulling to a halt and then taking the keys out of the ignition and turning to look at her.
‘So,’ he said, taking one of her hands in his.
‘So.’ She laced her fingers through his.
‘About that kiss I couldn’t give you before.’
She nodded.
‘Could I?’
‘Please. Yes.’
He reached a hand up to her face, cupping her chin in his hand and running a thumb across her cheek gently. She closed her eyes for a moment, losing herself in the sensation. And then she opened them again, heart thumping in her chest, looking into his eyes. He looked down at her mouth and leaned towards her, twining his fingers into the soft curls at the nape of her neck. She put a hand to his cheek, feeling the softness of the dark stubble. He inhaled sharply, pulling her close – and kissed her gently at first, his lips just grazing hers, and then she was pressed against the hardness of his body, feeling his breath in her ear as he kissed her jaw, her cheek, her neck. Hannah ran a hand down his back, feeling the muscle beneath the soft cotton of his t-shirt, and he found her mouth again.
‘We should probably go inside,’ he said some time later, breathless, hands still caught in her hair.
‘Probably.’ Hannah smiled, realizing she likely looked like the cat that had got the cream.
‘I’ve wanted to do that for so long,’ he told her, pulling her close again for another kiss.
‘Me too.’ She traced her fingers along his. ‘But I think maybe we should go in before that security guard gets the wrong idea.’
Jake turned, looking at the security guard dressed in high-vis gear who was frowning in their direction.
‘Well, we’ll have given him something to talk about over dinner later,’ he said, laughing.
When they got out of the car he picked up her bags, leaving her with nothing to carry. She walked alongside him, feeling like she was floating on air. They took a lift from the car park that brought them straight up to the fifth floor and opened onto the corridor where their room was situated.
‘But you haven’t checked in.’ Hannah was confused.
‘It’s all done online. Look.’ He tapped in a keycode on the pad outside the hotel room door, and it swung open. Inside was a room that was almost bigger than her cottage. There was a sitting room area, complete with huge television, and a massive, luxurious bathroom.
‘This is amazing.’
‘They always pull out all the stops,’ Jake said, setting their bags down. She looked at him, feeling a sudden wave of nerves.
‘I said I’d let you get dressed and just stay out of your way,’ he said gently, putting his hands on her waist. ‘But you might have to kiss me first.’
‘I think I can do that,’ she said, snaking her arms around his neck and reaching her mouth up to meet his.
‘And then,’ he promised, between kisses, ‘I will leave you alone.’
Hannah made a tiny sound of regret, and she felt his lips curling into a smile against hers.
‘For now, anyway.’
Katie had done Hannah’s hair earlier, so all she had to do was relax in the huge bath with some deliciously scented bubbles and then climb out and put on make-up and get into her dress. Jake was as good as his word and stayed out of the way – she could hear the sound of the television from the sitting room of the suite, but he left her to get ready in peace. She was grateful for that – butterflies were gathering in her stomach and she was already having a wobble about the idea of making polite conversation at the table with a load of famous people she’d never met.
‘You look utterly gorgeous,’ Jake told her, pulling her into his arms and dropping a kiss on her temple as they waited for the lift to take them down to a waiting car.
‘So do you.’ She traced a finger down the lapel of his dinner jacket. He caught her hand, lifted it to his mouth, and kissed the inside of her wrist. Hannah thought she might actually faint from longing. So this was what it felt like to actually desire someone . . . no wonder she’d struggled all those years with Phil. She didn’t just find Jake attractive, she actually liked him as a person. And the strangest thing – she stepped forward into the lift, catching a glimpse of their reflections – was that he seemed to feel the same way.
There were two other people in the lift. Hannah caught Jake’s eye in the mirrored glass and they exchanged a glance that made her insides feel like they were melting.
The evening was more fun than she’d expected. They were seated at a table with Jake’s agent and a couple of other sports stars she didn’t recognize, and their wives. All of them were friendly and seemed far more down to earth than Hannah expected – she even popped to the loo with Grace, one of the wives, who confessed that she hated things like this and only came along out of a sense of duty.
‘You and Jake seem to get on really well,’ she added, leaning towards the mirror to apply some plum-coloured lipstick.
Hannah looked down at the sink for a moment, trying to compose herself. The little voice in her head had been trying to convince her that he was this charming and attentive with every single woman he met.
‘I’ve never seen him look so into someone before,’ Grace continued. ‘Normally he’s pretty reserved – standoffish, even.’
‘Jake?’ Hannah frowned. ‘He’s one of the most friendly and open people I’ve met.’
‘Proving my point, rather,’ said Grace, cocking an eyebrow and smiling before she blotted her lips on a tissue. ‘Whatever’s going on between you two, he’s clearly pretty smitten.’
They returned to the table and Jake got out of his chair, standing while they sat down. ‘See what I mean?’ Grace whispered, under her breath. ‘Old-fashioned manners. I don’t see any of the other men at the table bothering.’
Hannah shook her head, smi
ling. Jake leaned sideways towards her, talking in a low voice so only she could hear.
‘You okay?’
Hannah nodded. His hand found hers under the table and he closed his fingers over hers for a moment.
‘Not long now. Once I’ve done my bit we can sneak off, unless you’re desperate to see it through to the bitter end?’
‘Not particularly.’ She wanted more than anything to be alone with him, somewhere she didn’t have to worry about the press getting wind of anything or where people like Grace would be scanning their behaviour.
Chapter Thirty
‘Finally.’ The lift door closed and Jake pulled Hannah into his arms, burying his face in the soft cloud of her dark hair, inhaling her scent. He closed his eyes for a moment, realizing as he did so that his heart was thumping so loudly in his chest that she must be able to feel it through the crisp cotton of his shirt. He pulled back slightly, looking down at her. Her lips curved into a questioning smile.
‘What?’ She gazed up at him.
‘Nothing.’ He lifted a hand to her face, letting his fingers trace gently down her cheek. He closed his eyes for a second time. He could feel the softness of her body against his, his hand on the curve of her hip. It would be so easy to let desire take over – but if he did, what would it mean the next day?
The lift came to a stop, the ting of the door as it slid open bringing him back to his senses.
‘It’s a shame,’ Hannah said, standing so close to him as he tapped in the keycode for the room that he could feel her body heat, ‘that we have to go home, really, isn’t it?’
The door swung open and, suddenly bold, she pulled him by the hand into the room, snaking her hands around his neck and kissing him. Her lips were tentative and gentle at first, but when he responded, she reacted with a passion that surprised him and only fuelled his need.
The Village Green Bookshop: A Feel-Good Escape for All Book Lovers from the Bestselling Author of The Telephone Box Library Page 21
