by J. P. Larson
"I'm sorry."
"I don't blame you, Kia. I wish we could help everyone. We can't."
I looked down. "I know, but it breaks my heart."
"One moment." She stood up and turned to a filing cabinet, removing three folders. She made a brief note before replacing the folders. "Go get them and bring them to Erin's classroom."
Ten minutes later found Fremara and Migor, Quartain, Erin, three students, and me in Erin's classroom. The journeywoman was Diana, and we greeted each other. The apprentices were Flara and Beahnina. They were vaguely familiar, but I didn't actually know them. Quartain took a moment to explain. Fremara and Migor looked at her with gratitude.
"We will house you in staff housing," she said. "If you are here more than a week or two, we will probably assign you to duties. Kia, they may eat in the student dining hall at lunch, and then I will take them from there. The classroom next to this one," and she pointed, "is also set up as a healing classroom. Unless Magus Erin wishes to oversee this personally, you will meet there."
"Use that room, Adept Kia," Erin said. "I may visit from time to time, but there is little I can do to help. I am sorry. If you have trouble teaching spells, see me and I will see what I can do. Even if I am unable to cast the spell in question, I may be able to offer insight why one of your students is having difficulty learning it."
No one had questions, so I led my charges to the room next door. I stepped into the room and held the door; everyone filed past me.
Then I wondered what I should do. I started with basics. "Fremara, there are four towers, and the first time you arrive here, it can be confusing. We are in the southwest tower, which is referred to as the Journeywoman tower. Any student on campus can point you to the proper tower if you get lost. We are on the top floor. I know it is a climb, but you'll be feeling better after today."
She nodded, but she looked happy to be seated.
"If you arrive early," I said, "you may come in and take seats. Students, when you arrive, you will make the standard preparations for treating a patient. Do you know what that is?"
They didn't.
"I will show you what I do." I moved to the cabinets near the sink and removed what I would need. I washed my hands and bade the students to do so. I made a bowl of hot, soapy water and cleaned and dried the examination table. Then I asked Fremara to take her place.
I made the examination spell and left it for the students to see. "Who can make that spell?"
None of them could. "Give it a try."
I watched as they tried to duplicate the spell. Diana made her copy after several attempts. The two apprentices struggled. I didn't have a clue how to teach it more readily. I'd learned to cast this one just by having it shown to me.
"One of you, please go see if Magus Erin is still in her classroom. If she is, ask her to please stop down."
Flara ran from the room. "Diana, watch my spell." I extended it into Fremara and used it to look around. Then I withdrew the spell.
"Try to do the same thing," I said. I paused. "To me."
"Yes, Adept Kia," she said. She extended the spell, and I felt it enter. "Oh wow," she said. "I can see everything."
"Look around for a minute," I said. "Take a particularly close look at my lungs. With practice, you'll get faster."
I felt the spell moving around, then it centered on my lungs for a while. Finally she withdrew.
"To the best of my knowledge," I said, "I am healthy. Do you need my example to build the spell again?"
"Yes, but may we practice at lunch?"
I smiled. "Certainly."
I created my copy. She created hers and extended it into Fremara. "Now, we're going to practice some good bedside manner. Keep your mouth closed when you look around and think about what you're going to say before you say it."
I watched her, and I watched her reaction when she looked at Fremara's lungs. She looked up at me when she was done.
"Did you see?" She nodded. "Do you know what you would tell the patient?"
She thought about it and shrugged.
I turned to Fremara. "Well, I see the problem. Your lungs are full of phlegm. I am unsure of the cause, but we'll see what we can do to help you breathe more easily."
I glanced at Diana, and she nodded.
At that point, Flara returned with Magus Erin. I looked up. "Thank you, Magus Erin."
"You need me so quickly?"
I put the examination spell up where Erin could see it. She closed the distance and I explained the problem. "I learned this from example. I don't know how to teach it. Should the apprentices be able to cast it?"
"This is a spell I can cast," she said. "You learn spells more readily than some, Adept Kia. I will show you how I teach this spell to most students. See me at dinner." She smiled. "It's a little different from that side of the learning process, isn't it?"
"I suspect before this is over, I will be apologizing for the difficulties I caused all my instructors."
Erin laughed. She didn't laugh often, and it was a pleasant sound.
"May I show you the next spell I will use?" She nodded, so I dispersed the examination spell and prepared the one I use for clearing lungs. "This spell took me a few days to learn well," I said. I explained what it did.
"I will not be able to cast this," Erin said, looking at it. She looked at it for a while. "You will need to teach it in stages. Diana will be able to learn this, although it will take her time. It is an advanced spell for Flara and Beahnina. Their success learning this spell at this point in their education will depend upon their drive to do so. Understand they have other studies that take precedence over what you are doing here."
I nodded.
Erin turned to Diana. "This spell is worth learning and learning well."
"Yes, Magus Erin."
"Thank you, Magus Erin," I said. "We'll talk at lunch."
She nodded. "Good luck, Adept Kia." She turned to my patient. "You're in the best hands we have for you, Fremara. Adept Kia has more heart than you can imagine and is a gifted healer."
I was surprised to hear Erin say that. She nodded to me and then took her leave.
"All right," I said. "We'll clear your lungs like we did the first time, and then it will be time to descend for lunch. You will find the sorceresses eat heartily."
I extended the spell, explaining what I was doing. "When I first learned this spell, I practiced on apples." It took several castings of the spell, using the examination spell in between, to clear Fremara's lungs. After the second time, I had Diana create her own examination spell and watch what I was doing.
"Oh wow," she said. "You have a delicate touch, Adept Kia."
"Thank you," I said.
I could hear Fremara as her breathing improved. When I was done, we gave her a moment, then I said, "Now we're going to help her with her strength and general well-being. These are advanced spells." I filled Fremara with as much health as I could, and I could feel the amount of magic I was using to do it. Then I had Diana take one final look at her.
"A world of difference," Diana said. "But she's not cured?"
"We have not cured the cause, just resolved a symptom," I said. "I will be reviewing the books."
Then I showed them how I cleaned up afterwards. They students eyed me warily. "You cleaned that with raw magic?"
I shrugged. "It's convenient. You may use mundane methods if this is more power than you care to expend."
* * * *
After lunch, Quartain took possession of my charges, reminding me I had my own studies. "I know you're tempted to dig through medical journals. You know how I will feel if I am dissatisfied with your progress, Kia."
Magus Erin showed me how to teach the examination spell; it was done the same way I learned the far more difficult spells. There were three places in the construction of the spell that one could pause. The spell wasn't stable at those points, but it took little concentration to hold it together, so I could teach the spell in phases.
"Y
ou'll need to work with them for a half hour or so, but that should be enough they can work on it by themselves for a day or two before you teach the next phase."
"A day or two?" I said. "But this isn't a difficult spell."
She smiled. "I remember a certain twelve-year-old who assured me quite vehemently that her magic was worthless, useful for nothing beyond picking apples."
"Perhaps she was wrong, but she has admitted to being wrong a number of years ago."
"You and Eva did a better job with the new student than I did with you."
"I learned from your example."
"I suppose you did." She paused. "Kia, magic comes easily to you. That doesn't make you unique, but when teaching students, you'll need to remember that what is easy for you isn't going to be easy for all your students. I suspect that lesson will be far easier for you to learn than it was for me. You, like most students destined for magus, subconsciously see how a spell is created when it is demonstrated, and therefore you require far less walk through of the individual steps than the average student."
* * * *
I was, over the next week and a half, able to teach the examination spell to both the apprentices. I thought Beahnina showed particular promise. The spell to clear Fremara's lungs took more time for all three of my provisional students to learn. Flara in particular struggled, but she kept at it, and the day she successfully cast it, she was very pleased.
Fremara didn't require daily attention. The fluid began building up after a day, but there wasn't enough to bother clearing for two or three days. Still we examined her briefly every day, and in the evenings, I reviewed my books as well as the more extensive collection in the library.
I made no headway determining what was wrong with her. She admitted she felt much better. Not only could she breathe clearly, but the good health spells I cast on her made her stronger as well. I began teaching those to my students.
I sent letters to Magus Hallow and to Queen Hallamarie. The letters to the queen were a request for assistance from her healers. They denied my request. Marie sent me a personal note expressing sorrow but explained her healers were already overworked. I received a reply from Magus Hallow.
"There is so much we don't know. I have seen this myself. I have never been able to do more than treat the symptoms. I am so sorry I am unable to provide better news or guidance."
A month after arriving, Migor returned to Livendar. It may have been the start of winter, but there was always work to do on the farm. Fremara remained behind and was assigned staff duties. I continued to meet with her daily, but I didn't have answers. I taught my students what I could.
Another month passed, and I found myself summoned to Quartain's office. Magus Erin and I arrived at the same time, waited briefly, and then were admitted to Quartain's office. We moved to Quartain's small conference table, and then she asked for a status update on my patient.
"I continue to see her daily," I explained. "Her lungs require clearing every two or three days. It only takes a few minutes and a modest amount of magic." I explained the rest of what I knew. "Magus Hallow wasn't able to provide any insight. I also wrote Grandmama. She gave me herbal treatments to assist with the symptoms, and we've been using those. If they are effective, I cannot tell."
Quartain nodded understanding then asked if Magus Erin had anything further to add.
"Not particularly," she said. "Adept Kia has performed well with her students. She has taught them a number of spells, most of which I can't teach, and their performance in other areas has not suffered. If we had a richness of adepts and magi, I would be pressing for her to become an instructor at the school."
I turned to her. "Really?"
"Yes. In time."
"I believe Kia will remain on her current duties for the next several years," Quartain said. "Kia, have you tried more mundane treatments?"
"Yes. None of the things we've tried have been effective."
"And you are no closer to determining the underlying cause?"
"No."
"What will happen if magical treatment ceases?"
I stared at her and was about to yell, but she held up a single finger. "Remain professional, Adept Kia," she said.
I nodded then spoke calmly, but inside, I was in turmoil. "She'll die. It will be like slowly drowning to death. Senior Magus Quartain-"
She held up another finger. "Magus Erin?"
"I have nothing to add," Erin said.
"Kia, do you have any reason to expect a breakthrough?"
I looked down. "No. But she's otherwise healthy, and it only takes a few minutes. You can't ask me to tell her she's going to die because I can't afford a few minutes a few times a week."
"Actually," she said, "I can. However, we're here to discuss options. We're also here to discuss what we're going to tell her."
"Why can't she stay here?"
"Indefinitely?"
"Yes."
"So you are going to petition the queen for a teaching position? I would support you, but I believe you will have a difficult battle, and I think you'll have an especially difficult battle convincing her to let Eva become a teacher. And frankly, when you both told me you wanted real experience first, I agreed with you. Is that your plan, Kia?"
"No," I said, "but all three of my students can see to her needs, and it's such a small amount of time. A few minutes from each of them once a week is all she needs."
"And when I wish to send them out as apprentices next summer, and you and Eva are gone, who will tend to her?"
I didn't have an answer to that.
"Would you devote your life to saving one life when you know very well how many other lives you won't save because you're here, tending to one patient?"
"Quartain-" I whined.
"I am only asking questions, Kia," she said. "Tell me a plan that works."
I turned away, and the two of them let me think about it. I turned back.
"We could send her to Hallow."
"She hasn't offered," Quartain said. "And she doesn't have your pool of magic to draw on."
They gave me another minute to consider options. I reviewed and dismissed many before I finally said, "She could become my assistant."
Quartain didn't respond immediately then asked, "Travel with you and Eva?"
"She's otherwise fit, in great shape for her age. 40 isn’t old. Our travel isn't strenuous."
"You are out in poor weather," Quartain said. "You frequently sleep in tents on the cold ground. We have more robust wagons you could use instead, but you would forever be dealing with them getting stuck on the poor roads you sometimes must follow."
"She doesn't need me every day," I said. "She could travel ahead and stay only at the inns. She could even go a week or two if necessary, but it won't be as pleasant for her."
"And you ask the queen to cover the additional expense," Quartain said. "Another room at the inn. Food. And she would need to be paid something. And frankly, you don't need an assistant. Lunia, Loralai and Eva already handle everything an assistant could do for you."
"I'll pay her expenses," I offered, beginning to grow desperate.
"From your income as an adept?" she asked. "I am fairly certain the queen will say 'no'."
If I still had my income from Doctor K's, the money would be inconsequential, but I had forfeited my earnings for five years.
"We're going to let her die because she eats too much?" I asked. "You aren't that heartless."
"I didn't say that," she said. "I am pointing at holes in your plan and inviting you to repair them. Kia, she is a hard worker and I would be happy to keep her on as an employee here at the school if there were a way to keep her healthy. But my first priority is towards the education of the students, and I cannot retain someone here to keep Fremara healthy."
"What if..." I thought about it. "What if she were Eva's assistant? I know Eva could find ways to use her. It might take some creative thinking, but it's already come up that Sytara should use more non-magica
l investigators."
Quartain said, "Hmm," then turned to Magus Erin. "Did you want to remain?"
"I believe I've contributed everything I can." She turned to me. "Kia, I wish I could help you. I wish I could cast the spells you cast. I'm sorry." She turned back to Quartain. "Long term, I believe Kia would be a valuable member of the staff here. But I also agree she would benefit from more experience away from the school. I also understand that there is greater need for her elsewhere."
"Thank you, Magus Erin," Quartain said. I echoed Quartain, and we waited for Erin to make her exit. Quartain and I turned to face her. "Fremara serving as Eva's assistant has merit as a plan. There are difficulties, but they can be addressed." She paused. "There is a reason we had this conversation today rather than another day."
"Oh?"
"You are about to see why I am the senior magus and you are still the adept." She grinned at me and rose to her feet. "Come."
I followed her to the top of the journeywoman tower. She refused to answer my questions. We came to a stop outside one of the classrooms. "Kia, I need you to focus on becoming a magus."
"I'm working dawn until dusk most days, Quartain. I don't know what else I can do."
"Perhaps nothing," she said. "As long as you continue that schedule." Then she knocked at the classroom door before opening and gesturing me inside.
I was surprised to see Eva and Sytara. Eva had a half-built spell that I could barely see; it must be using magic I didn't know.
"We're sorry to interrupt," Quartain said. "We can wait if necessary."
"No," Sytara said after a moment. "Eva was about to ask for a break, anyway."
"Let's sit," Quartain said, gesturing to a table to the side. We clustered around the table. Eva raised an eyebrow to me. She was typically attuned to my moods, and I'm sure I looked upset.
"Kia has a problem," Quartain said. "We may have a solution, but it requires both of you. I believe, however, that we may be able to partially solve one of your difficulties, Sytara, and so we might be able to reach accord. Kia, would you explain?"
I laid out the difficulty. Then I explained my proposed solution. I finished, and no one immediately said, "no", and so I grew heart.
