by J. P. Larson
Once she traveled south of Neecor’s Harbor, it took longer for the letters to reach Nalori, but she continued to write. Unfortunately for her, it did no good to write back. She was moving faster than the letters could catch up to her.
Lunia received her own letters from Loralai, delivered with Eva’s. While she read them, sometimes she laughed, but afterwards she was typically quiet. And I was reminded that I wasn’t the only one who missed the woman she loved.
Then she reached Sima, a town that held no happy memories for either of us. But she established a base, and there she would stay for a month. And so Lunia and I were able to send letters. I didn’t really have things to say, nothing important that she didn’t already know. So I told her about the goings on at the school.
And I told her the things she knew.
I didn’t ask her to hurry home. I didn’t tell her to be careful. She would come home when she could, and she was always careful. I was the reckless one.
But in one of her letters, she wrote this.
It’s hard being apart. But I’ve spent my entire life preparing for these duties, and I’m finally using all that work and training. Kia, the people of Ordeen have little idea what we do for them. But without us, without people like you and me, without people like Quartain and Hallamarie and Sytara, and without our swordswomen, too, the dangers of the world would take a toll on these good people. I hate that we’re apart, but I’ve spent my life preparing for these duties, and I am proud to be filling my responsibilities.
I thought of my time away from Ordeen. I had spent far more of my time seeing to my own needs than I did using my abilities to help others. I’d a farm to manage, after all, and even with my unique skills, that was a lot of work.
I read the letter to Lunia. She nodded but had little to add. But she’d been here with me during this time, too, helping me in her way. She understood.
I sent Marie a note requesting an audience with her and Sytara. She offered our time together on Sixday.
And so when Lunia and arrived for my morning with the queen, one page led us through the palace and another headed for Sytara’s office. Lunia and I greeted Marie. We were still catching up for the week when Sytara arrived.
She didn’t look pleased to be summoned. I wasn’t sure if I cared, but I smiled. “I want to read a portion of a letter from Eva.” I did so, and when I was done, I looked at Sytara. “She’s right. I don’t want to fight with you. Eva doesn’t, either. At the same time, Senior Magus Sytara, I don’t want to be the kind of person I think you want me to be. I’m a healer, and I love my plants. That’s the kind of person I want to be. Can you accept that?”
“Adept Kia,” she replied. “I am not liked. I don’t expect to be liked, and I have long since stopped putting in the slightest effort. But I care what happens to Ordeen, and what matters to me is the most efficient use of the scant resources available to us.”
“I can understand that, Senior Magus.”
She waved my statement away. “You’re not a child anymore. Use my name. Save titles for other settings.” I nodded at that. “Kia, your skills are best used as a healer and botanist, and frankly, you do more for us as a botanist. While almost no one agrees with me, the lives of individual commoners aren’t what matters, but it is the whole that matters. The only time I’d like to see you as a healer is when working on someone important, or in the case of some sort of widespread emergency. You do more for Ordeen as a botanist.”
“Everyone eats.”
“Everyone eats,” she agreed. “Neither healers nor botanists work for me. You are a distraction. I have nothing against you serving as either healer or botanist. I have a problem when you distract Eva.”
“I told you: we never spent so much as an extra minute anywhere when Eva said it was time to go.”
“That may be, but you ended her circuit weeks early.”
“We got a new student!” I said. “She might work for you someday. And if I hadn’t, Eva’s sister would have died. I suppose that doesn’t matter to you.”
“I don’t need a new sorceress fifteen years from now. I need Eva now. And I’m not entirely heartless. But when you ended your trip early, you didn’t know it would place you in Neecor’s Harbor when you needed to be. You cannot use that as your reason to end your trip early.”
“But-”
“But you saved the life of Eva’s sister, and I’m glad you did, but for Eva’s mission, it was the wrong choice. Don’t you see that?”
I stared at her a moment and then nodded. “I suppose.”
“This is a habit of yours. You make decisions with little regard for the opinions of those with more experience than you have.”
“That’s not fair.”
“No? When you stumbled upon a cursed farm-”
“I did what Byseen told me to do!”
“To a point, but you should have known you were about to burn yourself out, and you didn’t give her a chance to stop you. You could have killed yourself, Kia. You certainly distracted Byseen from her mission because you made a choice over one farm. One farm! Kia, how many farms could you have helped if you hadn’t burned yourself out on that farm.”
“But it was wrong!” I said. “You weren’t there. It was wrong. That curse-” I shuddered.
“Once the source of the curse had been destroyed, the land would have healed itself.”
“Decades.”
“You don’t know that, but even if you’re right, so what?”
“If I don’t get credit for saving Eva’s sister, then you don’t get credit for how things turned out later.”
“We’re not even talking about that. That wasn’t at all predictable, and I’m not blaming you. I’m talking about the decision to burn out your magic for days, all for one farm. It was the wrong choice.”
“What would have become of those people if I hadn’t?” I asked. “The well was poisoned. In my best judgment as a trained healer of Ordeen, I felt that poisoned well would poison the people and animals drinking from it. Who knows the trouble that would have resulted for you down the road?”
“That’s fair,” she said. “And one solution is to mark the well as poisoned and to tell the people to move off the land. And then you move on.”
“It was their entire life. Are you saying their entire livelihood is worth less than my being laid up for a few days?”
“Yes, Kia, I am. There is a word you know: triage. Here’s a word I know: big picture. You don’t know how to triage, and you don’t see the big picture. That’s not entirely your fault. You haven’t spent your life in leisure; you can only learn so much. And the training you’ve undergone is different from Eva’s and certainly different from mine. Let me ask this: if Eva discovered a plague in one town, would you linger in another town, seeing to a few colds?”
“Of course not.”
“Well, I need Eva finding those plagues, Kia. And when she finds them, I need you to deal with it while she continues with her duties. Can you understand that?”
Again I stared then nodded. “Yes, I suppose.”
“I understand why you brought the child back. I don’t fault you for that, but I fault you for your influence with Eva, and I fault her for that, too.”
“What are you saying?”
“If you felt it was important to bring the child back, then you should have done so, and Eva should have continued her circuit without you. That is what I need from you, Kia. I understand the two of you want to be together, and you have the support of Quartain and Hallamarie. I don’t want to fight that. But when it’s time for you to be apart, you need to be prepared to be apart.”
I said nothing for a minute then turned to Hallamarie, who had been quiet through all this. “Do you have a comment, Your Majesty?”
“Sytara is right, Kia.”
I nodded. “All right.” I turned back to Sytara. “Anything else?”
“Yes. Ordeen needs her magi. Ordeen needs you as a magus, Kia. But right now, Ordeen needs Eva out an
d about. This isn’t about me or what I need.”
“Hallamarie and Quartain both have pointed out Eva needs to spend time here.”
“They’re right. She does. But she doesn’t need to be here as much as you do. If I had my preference, she would base herself near the border and settle down during the height of winter. She could swing up here for a week twice a year. I wouldn't have any problem if you were with her, but she can’t teach you what you need to learn, and you need to learn it.”
I dropped my gaze at that and nodded. “Does that mean there’s going to be a change?”
“Not as drastic a change as Sytara might prefer,” Marie said. “We’re not going to separate you, Kia, but you might spend some time apart.”
“If you hadn’t run away, we wouldn’t be in this position,” Sytara pointed out. “But that’s water under the bridge.”
I nodded again. “All right.”
“All right.” She paused. “Eva’s letter is right. She was born for this. But Kia, so were you, even if you didn’t know it as early as she did.”
“I know,” I said.
“Kia, some day you’re going to save my life, or Hallamarie’s, or Eva’s, or half the army. I don’t know. I don’t discount that.”
“Thank you for that,” I said.
She turned, I thought to leave, but she paused at the door. “I’m sorry I’m an unpleasant person. I wasn’t always.” And then she was gone, Hallamarie, Lunia, and I looking after her for a minute. Finally I turned to Marie. “Should I be more focused in my studies?”
“No. Specialists are important, but so are generalists. You need what I’m teaching you.”
“How about what she said about botany and healing?”
“In some ways she’s right, but I personally can’t stomach the idea of one of my healers walking away from a childbirth.”
“We can’t help everyone.”
“No, we can’t. But we can help the people in front of us, or at least try.”
“Right.”
“Right. Well. Let’s see how you’ve improved from last week.”
Family
Spring arrived in Nalori. For years, I had anxiously awaited spring. This year was no different, although I was so busy, I didn’t immediately notice when it arrived. I didn’t notice the arrival of the migratory birds. I didn’t even notice when the trees began to bud. That was a first.
In fact, I realized spring was here when I received a summons to prepare a batch of Dr. K’s Spring Surprise. This was not our most efficacious salve, but it was the first I could produce each spring. And so it was Sevenday when Lunia, Iladarta, Nate, and I found ourselves astride our mounts, bound for Nalori. I looked around and realized the grass was growing. Trees had buds and even a few leaves, and the earliest spring flowers were in bloom.
“I think I’ve been studying too hard,” I muttered. “Who does your harvesting for you?”
“I get Nami and Ulla to do it.” They were Fardia’s granddaughters. After the wonderful job they did helping me years ago when I was a journeywoman with Magus Hallow, we had hired them to help with the day-to-day work at Dr. K’s. “Don’t feel guilty, Kia. Harvesting my herbs has not been your responsibility for a long time.”
“Still,” I said. We were passing a farm, and so I brought my horse to a stop and summoned a spell, a basic fertilizer spell. I tossed the spell into the field, then added several more, reaching as much of the field as I could. Then I smiled. “I feel better already.”
Iladarta laughed. “Don’t tire yourself out.”
“I can cast that all day,” I replied. But I clicked to my horse, assembling more copies of the spell. I tossed them left and right as we traveled along.
* * * *
We rode all the way to the warehouse that held Dr. K’s. It was an unassuming, unmarked building, and almost no one knew what we made there, allowing us to come and go in relative anonymity. I wondered if that should change. Would it be terrible for the world to know I was Dr. K?
Beside the building was a small yard. We turned out our horses before heading for the side door.
Our building held our entire operations. We received small casks from a cooper and bottles from several glass blowers. The labels were produced by a printer. All that was stored on the facilities, along with the other things we needed.
The loading dock was used both to bring in supplies and send out casks. Today was not a delivery day, and so that section of the warehouse was unoccupied. But I looked around like I always did.
I was a minority owner, but still, I felt like this was mine, and I was proud of it. Windows high above us let in some light, but I was never satisfied. I began casting my signature light spell, sending the magic up to impact the walls and ceiling here and there, dramatically improving the lighting.
The four of us stepped in further. I continued to toss light spells, which was as good as announcing ourselves.
We found Fardia, Nami, and Ulla in the processing room. That wasn’t surprising. What was surprising was that Marie was there, with a small cadre of guards as well as Kelline and Nara. “Your Majesty,” I said, coming to a stop, my latest light spell hovering in the air beside me.
Marie turned and smiled. “Is that for me, Kia?”
I laughed and threw the spell at her, but then curved it up to the ceiling above us. I added a dozen more, dramatically improving the lighting. Nami and Ulla clapped happily. “Thank you, Kia,” Fardia said. “That helps.”
I offered a small curtsey, then a longer one towards the queen. “Knock it off,” she said. By the time I was fully upright, Marie was there, offering a hug. “I hope you don’t mind that I stopped by.”
“Of course not, Your Majesty,” I replied.
She offered additional greetings to Iladarta, Lunia, and Nate and then turned back to me. “Don’t stand on ceremony.”
“Do I ever?” I asked. I nodded to her then turned to Fardia. “Catch me up, if you please.”
“It’s good to see you, Kia,” she said. “We have everything ready. Winter whitepetal bloomed early, so we didn’t try to preserve any but extracted the oils as the shipments came in.” She told me what had arrived, how long we’ve been storing it, and how advanced the processing was. As we did so, we did a tour.
Some of the ingredients we used were only good for their oils. For others, we made a mash from the stems. For some we used leaves; for others we used roots. Some plants lost their magical properties if not harvested quite precisely, although none we were to use today. Fardia had everything well under control, and I told her that. Then I said, “And what about each of you. What has been happening in your lives?”
“Nami has a new guy,” Ulla announced.
“And were you going to announce your new lady?” Nami asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Maybe,” Ulla said slowly, but she began to smile.
“She’s older,” Nami added. “Practically ancient.”
“She isn’t ancient,” Ulla said hotly. “But…”
Her tone told me that wasn’t a trivial “but”. “Yes, Ulla?”
“She knows I work for Dr. K.”
“How did that happen?” Marie asked.
“I overheard Lalida and Bastaari in a shop.”
“Okay, who are Lalida and Bastaari?” I asked.
“Lalida is her new lady,” Nami answered.
“And Bastaari is Lalida’s grandmother,” Ulla explained. “It was just a general mercantile, but they carry Dr. K’s. Lalida was trying to convince her grandmother to buy our better products.”
“Ah,” I said. “And you got involved.”
She nodded. “I’m sorry, Kia.”
“I haven’t heard a single thing to be sorry for,” I replied. “Queen Hallamarie, is there any reason to keep my identity a continued secret?”
“I want to wait until you’ve been home a little longer,” she said. “But after that, no. We’ll plan your coming out, so to speak. Ulla, do they know who Dr. K. is?”
/> “No, but Lalida knows this is where we work. She’s sworn not to tell anyone.”
The queen looked at me. I shrugged. “I don’t have a problem with that.”
Marie nodded. “Is it a serious relationship, Ulla?”
“I don’t know, your majesty. We’ve been together for about three months, though. She invited me to dinner, and it was casual for a while.”
“You’re in love,” Marie declared.
“I think so.”
“Good,” Marie said. “And what about you, Nami?”
“I’m not in love,” Nami said. “We’re just having fun, for now. I don’t know if I want to settle down with him, but the attention is nice.”
“You were sighing over him,” Ulla pointed out.
“Like I can’t tell what you’re thinking about when you sigh,” Nami shot back.
“Well, congratulations to both of you,” I said. “Fardia, do you have a new love in your life?”
“Imagine that,” Fardia replied.
“There’s something I want to ask,” Marie said. “Are the three of you satisfied with arrangements here?”
They all nodded, and then Fardia said, “We couldn’t be happier.”
We talked about things like that for a while, and then I said, “Well, these salves and ointments won’t mix themselves.”
* * * *
It was a long day. Iladarta and even Marie had their parts. I was surprised that Marie spent the day. She only said she wanted something with little stress and asked us not to dig into it, so we didn’t.
I did my own stirring, mixing in my mix of magic. When I got done, I thought about something. “Queen Hallamarie?”
“So formal, Kia?”
“Everyone has said I’m the only one who can do this. Iladarta and Hallow working together can’t, for instance.”
“We tried,” Iladarta said.
“Does that mean I’ve invented a spell?”
“Oh, now that is an interesting question,” Marie replied. “Except half the time you’re not really casting a spell; you’re simply stirring in some of your magic.”
