He scoffed and shook his head.
“You really are crazy. I was trying to help you, not steal your target away. For fuck’s sake, Elise, you can’t do everything by yourself. You can’t even keep up with the double! Sometimes you just need help.”
“This is not one of those times. I’ll catch her next time, I promise you that.”
He shook his head again. “I can’t sit back and let you shoulder this on your own. I have to help you. I wouldn’t feel like a true man if I sat down and did nothing while you did it all.”
She pushed his chest and knocked him back a few paces.
“I don’t give a shit about your sexist masculinity issues or your misplaced hero complex, Theron. You either back down, shut the hell up, and let me prove myself wrong, or you prove me right, admit to being an inside player this entire time, and land yourself at the top of my kill list.”
“Holy fucking accusations!” he shouted, incredulity making the words come out almost as a laugh. Elise would certainly not be happy about that.
As much as I hated to tear my eyes away from them, something had caught my attention. There’d been movement in the peripheral of my sight, just a few trees away. It hadn’t been fast or jerky, but slow and smooth. It made me wonder if I’d actually seen anything other than a branch swaying in the wind or a bird gliding between tree trunks.
“Admit it!” Elise shouted in the background. “You’ve been playing us!”
“I’ll never admit it, because it’s bullshit!” Chase said, yelling back.
I rescanned the woods. Gilded shafts of light poked through the evergreens, giving them an uncharacteristically warm tone for the time of year. Just the sight of the sunshine made the air feel warmer, but the aura was edgy.
I cocked my head, noticing something else—not movement this time, just a hint of a white-gold glow. It almost seemed to reflect off of the rough, chunky bark.
Hair…blonde hair…
“Elise!” I said, not wanting to take my eyes away from that spot. “I think my double’s here.”
The glow promptly disappeared so I chanced a peek at Elise, just in time to watch her dropkick Chase’s legs out from under him.
“Stay down!” she threatened him.
He tried to fight, but his whole body was slowly sinking into the earth like quicksand—exactly like it.
“Where is she?” Elise asked me.
“That way.” I pointed toward a thicket of woods to our left. Oddly enough, she wasn’t heading toward town like she supposedly had the other times.
“Stay here and watch him,” she said. “And when I get too far away to control him with the earth, fight fire with fire. Kill him if you have to, then get back to town.”
Even in her haste, the majesty of her skill seemed to slow down time. Watching her move was like watching cherry blossoms swirl on the breeze. She wasn’t a Wind or even a Water, but she moved with such grace and fluidity that it practically mesmerized.
I blinked and she was gone.
The buzz of the fading chaos still lingered through the trees. My heart was racing, despite my best efforts to slow and control my breathing. My hands felt shaky, though they remained steady.
“Valerie!” Chase called.
Only his face was visible above the soupy ground. He didn’t appear to be sinking any farther, but if he did, I was ready to try to somehow bail him out. I wouldn’t just stand there and watch him die, no matter whose side he was on.
“Get me out of here!” he pleaded.
I shook my head and knelt down a few feet away.
“You know I can’t do that, Chase.”
He spit, but it backfired and spattered down his chin.
“You actually believe her?”
I cocked my head. “Tell me who you’re working for.”
“She set up the perfect escape plan and you played right into her hands.”
“Are you working for my grandfather?” I asked.
“She wanted you to stay behind. She wanted to keep you in the dark.”
It was like we were having two separate but parallel conversations.
He said, “You haven’t picked a side, which means you haven’t picked her side, so you’re a threat, to both her and her invisible little organization.”
I shook my head thoughtfully. “I can’t imagine you working for Modernists… Traditionalists maybe?”
“No, damn it! Valerie, just get me out of here. There’s still time to stop her and catch them both. We can find out what’s really going on!”
“Yes, I think we can. All you have to do is tell me the truth.”
I noticed, then, that the ground was warming up, which could only mean one thing: Elise’s hold was starting to fail and Chase was preparing to break free. The soupy mud hardened into a clay-like substance. Cracks formed and steam puffed up through as the heat intensified.
I put my right hand to the ground and the surface froze over with such speed and agility that I could hardly believe I was the one who’d done it. Chase immediately started shaking. Fires were naturally susceptible to the cold, but I wasn’t sure if it was that or shock that had him quivering.
“Val…please. Let me go.”
“I can’t.”
He swallowed. His head had been tipped back to keep his mouth above ground, and it was now frozen in that position.
“Are you gonna kill me?”
“What? No!” I shouted.
I couldn’t believe he’d jump to such a conclusion. Then again, I did have him trapped in ice and was telling him I wouldn’t let him go. I’d sort of been going on Elise’s orders and my own instincts, but I suddenly found myself wondering what the hell I was doing.
“Just tell me the truth, Chase.”
With what wiggle room he had left, he shook his head.
“If you’re not going to kill me, then I have no incentive to tell you anything.” I stared at him, and he stared back. “Let me go, Val.”
I sighed and rubbed my temples. “Are you an inside player or was Elise just manipulating me?”
“Maybe neither. Maybe both.”
I glared at him. “If you won’t blatantly deny it, I’m going to assume it’s true.”
He half-smiled. “Think what you want. It doesn’t matter anyway.”
“Why not?”
He closed his eyes and cozied up, like he was settling in for the long haul. I sighed and leaned back against a tree. Staring at my hands, I contemplated the vast well of power swimming just beneath my skin. I would never get answers out of him without a fight. My baby blues slid his way. He looked like he was peacefully napping. Would it be worth the bloodshed?
Just the thought of it had my conscience blaring alarms. In my heart I knew it was wrong, but in my brain it seemed rather practical. I want answers, he has them; there’s only one way to get them, so I should just get on with it.
I just didn’t want this crazy world to make me callous. I didn’t want the fighting, torture, and killing to desensitize me. I wanted to try to remain good. Dad had said that striving for honor and goodness was always worth it, and I felt like I was beginning to understand what he meant.
In that moment, something began to solidify in my mind, a resolve. One that would hopefully guide me through whatever came next. A determination to use my power and influence for the greater good—whatever the hell that happened to be. Which side was the ‘good’ side? I honestly didn’t know. For the time being, I would have to play it by ear.
I leaned over and palmed the ice. A small iceberg formed and I drove it down into the earth. Chase’s eyes sprang open, and I could see fear flitting around in their electric depths. He must’ve thought I’d changed my mind, had decided to torture him for answers, after all. Instead, I merely melted the iceberg, revealing a crevice he could easily climb out of.
“Go, Chase. Go wherever the hell you came from, and don’t come back.”
He nodded his head and licked his lips, clambering clumsily up the muddy wa
ll. Backing away slowly, he kept his eyes trained on mine. He didn’t at all trust my intentions.
“I won’t,” he promised. Then he turned and darted as fast as he could through the trees.
I watched until I could no longer see or hear him. Of course, I didn’t believe him. I felt in my bones that I would see him again.
Apparently I wasn’t the only one.
“He’ll be back,” a voice said, so close that their breath set the little hairs on the back of my neck standing straight up.
Shock and terror mixed violently with desire and excitement. That voice was the sound of my walls crashing down, my city being gloriously conquered and burned to the ground.
I closed my eyes and my lips turned up into a smile.
Chapter Ten
“You let him go,” Cade said. “Why?”
I sighed and spun around, immediately melting into his emerald gaze.
“I’ve told you a hundred times, I’m not a killer.”
He crossed his arms. “I didn’t mean you had to kill him, but you could’ve made him talk. He probably had valuable information.”
I shook my head. “It’s not worth it.”
“If you say so.”
I stared at him for a moment. I didn’t want to contemplate the unspoken meaning of his words, but I found myself doing it anyway. Please tell me letting Chase go wasn’t a huge mistake.
Doing the right thing was always the right thing…right?
“So, what are you doing here?” I asked, forcing myself to take a step back when all I wanted to do was fade into him.
He rolled his eyes. “What do you think?”
“Following Nicholai?”
“As always.”
“I haven’t seen him around these parts.”
Cade uncrossed his arms and dug his hands into his pockets.
“He’s very clever. Quiet.”
I smirked. “Elise hasn’t felt him nearby.”
“Well she wouldn’t, would she? She’s nowhere near as powerful as he is. The earth practically caters to his every whim.”
“And yet it hasn’t warned him about you spying,” I said. “Why?”
Cade raised an eyebrow. My stomach knotted and heat washed over my skin. That look could catch the woods on fire—or me. I glanced down, but luckily I wasn’t aflame.
“Remember when your aunt said I was sort of exceptional?” he said. “I guess she was right. I’m almost on equal footing with him in certain areas. I don’t have the control he does, but the Earth favors me enough to keep my secrets.”
Hundreds of thoughts swam around in my head.
If Cade was around, so was my grandfather. Elise couldn’t feel either one of them—either that, or she was simply keeping it from me. Surely neither Cade nor Nicholai was running around with a blonde wig pretending to be me, so who was the mystery woman, anyway?
The only other Earth I knew who might’ve been that powerful was Aunt Marge. She and I even shared a striking resemblance, albeit she was more weatherworn and world-weary. Elise certainly would’ve recognized her own mother, though. Then again, maybe she had, and maybe she was just covering for her?
Of course, Chase hadn’t recognized her, either, unless he legitimately thought it was me spying…or maybe he was in on it, too? Though, the way he and Elise had been bickering made me doubt it.
Cade interrupted my disordered thoughts.
“I gotta go, Val. Nicholai’s getting too far away.”
Panic set in at the thought of losing him again, and before I could stop it, ice spread into a crystalized path between us. It wanted to reach out and hold on to him, to keep him there with me, and I could definitely empathize.
I know, it’s depressing, I thought to my element, but we can’t make him stay. Sighing, I pulled the water back in, feeling more connected to it than I ever had before.
“Sorry,” I said, my voice barely a whisper. I should’ve had the icy outbursts under control by then.
Every time Cade and I crossed paths, it was a small miracle, but any relief at finding him alive was eclipsed by the fear of possibly finding him dead the next time. The odds were stacked against us. The game we were playing was much bigger than us, and I was pretty sure neither of us had any idea what we were doing.
He bridged our gap in two steps and took my face in his palms. They were warm and smelled like cypress and evergreens. His green eyes were bright and buzzing with some secret emotion. I hoped it was longing, because then we could match.
The muscles in his jaw and neck were strung tight, like he was fighting something inside.
“No,” he said. “I’m sorry…for everything.”
Then he kissed me.
His fingers tangled in my hair and my body curled into him.
A light ignited in me, one I never knew existed. My soul felt like a sleeping star that had finally awoken and burst into flames. The shine of it radiated through my whole body, a blinding white light that blocked out the world around me.
My lips were so numb and tingly that I barely realized it when he pulled away. My feet were on the ground, but my mind was still floating up in space.
His chest heaved with uneven breaths. “And I’m sorry for that.”
I blinked slowly. I was certain the universe didn’t make apologies for moments of perfection. Besides, there was no apology in the world that could encompass what had just occurred.
He licked his lips and backed away slowly. “Not for kissing you, because god I’ve wanted to do that for so long…but because I can’t let it happen again.”
I blinked a little faster this time, reeling my mind back into reality.
“What? No.”
“I need to stay focused,” he said, moving farther away. “And I can’t do that while I’m daydreaming about what I want to do to you.”
My breath caught and heat flooded through my body, burning like waves in my bloodstream. Knowing he wanted me too only made me want him more. I took a step forward.
He groaned. “And that look in your eyes is only making it worse.” He took a few more healthy steps backward before bracing himself against a tree.
My cellphone rang and I jumped. I glanced at the screen. Shit! I’d completely forgotten about lunch with Holden. My eyes leapt back up to Cade’s.
“Still trying to have the best of both worlds, huh?” he said.
“What? No, it isn’t like that—not anymore.”
“So that’s not Michaels calling you now?”
“It is, but—”
“Stop.” He shook his head, smiling cynically. I could see the muscles in his jaw tensing. “I have to go, Val. Just…don’t get killed.”
I forced down the lump in my throat, my heart aching.
“You either.”
I hated seeing him like that—jealous, angry. I never wanted to make him feel second-rate, and yet I consistently managed to do just that. How could I tell him how I felt without somehow making things worse? How could I explain what was happening if he wasn’t willing to listen? All I could do was stand there, lifeless as a stone.
He gave me one last painful glance before he all but disappeared. The Earth willfully hid him so well that he blended in seamlessly with the vegetation. I had no idea where he went, but I knew he was gone. Catching back up to my grandfather was his top priority; he wouldn’t linger.
The ringtone died in my hand. One missed call. I glanced at the screen and the ringing began again. I couldn’t bring myself to answer just yet. The defeat I felt from the conversation with Cade was almost paralyzing. Two missed calls.
When my cell went off a third time, I finally picked up.
“Hey.” I didn’t think he even noticed the listlessness in my tone.
“Hi Val, I’m so sorry I didn’t call sooner. We were in a meeting with the mayor and it ran over, which pushed back the conference with the local newspaper, which pushed back the meeting with the anthropologist, and it’s all been a bit of a nightmare. I hope you’re not horrib
ly upset about me missing lunch. Let me make up for it by buying you dinner instead.”
I shook my head, though he couldn’t see it. “No, Holden, that’s not necessary. You got held up at work, that’s not your fault. Besides, I never made it to lunch either. I got held up too.”
“That’s not the point. I’d still like to spend some time with you. I miss you…”
I closed my eyes and half-smiled as the defeat spread farther throughout my body. I didn’t want to lose Holden as a friend, but keeping him close was only driving Cade farther away. The tug of war was pulling me apart.
“Dinner at seven,” he said. “Same place. Please, Valerie?”
I sighed. I didn’t know what to do.
“Okay.”
“Thank you! I gotta go now, though. We have a presentation from the sociologist that we need to see, and I’d really hate to get behind schedule again. I’ll see you tonight.”
“Sure.”
I hung up and wandered, not necessarily aimlessly, trying to get my shit together.
If something was overall morally correct but it went against your personal wants and desires, wouldn’t condoning it be wrong in a way? Because you’d essentially be lying, at least to yourself, and lying was inherently immoral.
Would it be selfish to pull away from Holden, knowing full well how much he needed my support, just because I wasn’t in love with him? Or would it be even more damaging to keep him close, for the exact same reasons?
I soon ended up on the winding road that led to Aunt Marge’s. Just ahead, a lilac bush rested, bare of leaves and a little out of place. Cade had secretly created it months ago when I’d told him lilacs were my favorite flower.
When I got close enough, my fingertips lightly traced the brittle branches. I snapped a small twig from the bush and squeezed it in my palm. In a weird way, it made me feel closer to him, like some small piece of him was with me.
Aunt Marge’s porch was usually hidden by overgrown flora, but was now visible through the leafless trees. Snow-covered stone steps led up to her front door—steps I’d once sat on, texting Sienna before she ever moved to town.
The Essential Elements: Boxed Set Page 39
