“So, Tyler, huh?” Asher says, pulling my gaze back to him. “Is it serious?” he asks, his eyes dipping to the large diamond perched on the ring finger of my left hand. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“What are you doing here, Asher?” I bite, my temper flaring slightly.
“This is my home.” He says like it’s obvious.
“Was your home,” I correct. “Last time I checked, this hasn’t been your home in six years.”
“B...” he starts.
“Why are you here, Asher?” I repeat the question.
“I came back for you,” he says, taking a step toward me.
“Are you kidding?” My voice shakes as I step back, trying to escape the way his incredible scent seems to gravitate toward me. It’s a familiar smell and yet just as unfamiliar at the same time.
“I thought you’d be happy to see me.” His voice is full of confidence, but he can’t hide the doubt swimming in those brilliant blue eyes of his.
“Happy to see you.” I snort. “Happy to see you,” I repeat, shaking my head. “The last thing I am is happy to see you, Asher.”
“Blakely.”
“Don’t Blakely me. You abandoned me.” My words catch in my throat. “You promised you’d call.” Tears sting the backs of my eyes. “You promised you’d come back.”
“And I did,” he interjects.
“Six years later,” I scream, my voice carrying far beyond the two of us.
“I know there’s a lot we need to talk about, B.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. We don’t have anything to talk about. Not anymore. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to my fiancé,” I say spitefully.
With that, I spin on my heel and quickly walk away.
Chapter Six
Blakely
Eight years ago
“Where are you taking me?” I call from behind Asher, struggling to match his long stride up the heavily wooded trail.
“You’ll see.” He smiles over his shoulder at me before turning his attention forward again.
“You know how much I hate being left in the dark,” I remind him.
“Relax, B. Anticipation is the best part.”
“Says the person who knows where we’re going,” I mutter under my breath but he still manages to catch my words.
I hear him chuckle but he doesn’t comment.
I feel like we’ve been walking forever. When Asher said he wanted to show me something, I never dreamed we’d be hiking through the woods for the better part of an hour.
Relief floods through me when I see a clearing ahead and assume we must be close. I quicken my pace to catch up to him.
“Asher,” I whine, huffing when he speeds up, creating a bigger gap between us.
He steps into the clearing before I’m able to reach him and disappears from view. I groan loudly and push myself up the hill. For as young as I am you’d think I’d be in better shape, yet here I am grunting and wheezing like I’m running a marathon.
When I finally reach the clearing, I spot Asher a few feet in front of me. I stop and take in the breathtaking sight. And I’m not talking about the mountains and trees stretching out as far as the eye can see, but the boy standing in front of me, his gaze off somewhere in the distance.
Five years ago I couldn’t look at Asher as anything but my annoying best friend. He was just the boy that lived down the street from me. But over the years, the scrawny kid I knew started to change. He filled out, grew several inches, and my stomach started to feel funny every time we were together.
I can’t remember the exact moment when my feelings for Asher became something more than friendship. I think it happened gradually rather than all at once. Slowly my feelings had morphed into something I never saw coming. Our friendship turned into love. At least for me it did.
I haven’t told him of course. I wouldn’t even know where to start if I wanted to. But standing here, looking at him, the way the bright sun reflects off of his light brown hair, I have the overwhelming urge to shout it to the world.
“You just gonna stand there checking me out or you gonna come see this?” He looks over his shoulder, a smirk on his face.
“You wish I was checking you out.” I shake my head, forcing my feet forward.
It doesn’t take me long to reach where he’s standing on the edge of the cliff that overlooks the valley below.
“Pretty awesome, isn’t it?” He turns his face to me, the smile on his lips doing something funny to my insides.
“It’s amazing,” I agree, letting myself really take in the view. I’ve seen this mountain from a distance a million times, but it’s nothing like seeing it from up here. I feel like I’m standing on top of the world.
“Told ya it’d be worth it.” He bumps his shoulder against mine.
“How did you find this place?”
“My dad brought me here a couple of weeks ago.” His entire demeanor shifts and sadness fills his face. “He wanted to remind me that even when things look bleak, there’s beauty in the world. You just have to be brave enough to go out and find it.”
“He’s going to be okay,” I tell him, reaching for his hand. I entwine my fingers with his and squeeze.
“I want to believe that, B. I really do. But I can tell it’s bad. He won’t admit it, but I know.”
Asher’s dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer last month. After finding out, he’d waited nearly three weeks before telling his son because he wanted to know all the facts first. And while he tried to keep it positive for Asher, I know from overhearing my parent’s talking, that Frank Evans will be lucky if he lives another year. Of course I’m not going to repeat any of that to Asher. Not that I need to. I can tell by the way he’s looking at me that he already knows.
It’s so unfair. After losing his mother to a car accident when he was two years old, to now having to face the very real possibility that he may also be losing his father. My heart breaks for him and everything I know he must be feeling.
He has no siblings. No other relatives that live close by. It’s only been him and his dad for pretty much his entire life.
“He’s a strong man. He can fight this.” I attempt to reassure him.
“Mental strength can only carry you so far. I just... I just can’t imagine my life without him in it.” He fights to hold his emotions together, but I see how close he is to breaking. I sense it in his posture, in the way he clings to my hand like it’s his one and only lifeline.
“Asher.”
“I brought you here for a reason, B,” he interrupts before I can say more. “If my dad’s illness has taught me anything, it’s that you can’t take a single second for granted.” He shifts so that we’re facing each other and reaches for my other hand. “I’m in love with you, B.”
If I didn’t know any better, I’d have thought the ground shook beneath me at his admission. My heart pounds violently against my ribs and I’m pretty certain my lungs have forgotten how to pull in air. This is definitely not where I thought today was going.
“I’ve known that I’ve loved you for a long time, and not just because you’re my best friend. I watch the way the boys at school look at you. I hear the things they say. It’s only a matter of time before one of them comes along and takes you away from me. If I lost you without telling you how I feel I’d regret it for the rest of my life. So at the risk of completely ruining our friendship, I love you, Blakely Harris. And...”
“I love you too,” I blurt, cutting off whatever he was going to say. “I love you too,” I say again, a little more controlled this time.
A slow smile spreads across his face seconds before he leans toward me. My heart pumps harder, the sound thudding in my ears, blocking out everything else.
He slides his hand around my neck into my hair. Then his lips touch mine for the first time and it’s like nothing I ever imagined. My skin prickles, little beads of sweat form at the base of my neck, and my knees shake slightly under my weight.
>
At fifteen years old, I’ve thought about what my first kiss would be like more times than I can count. I always imagined it would be Asher, but never in a million years did I believe it would actually happen. A sudden urge to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming comes over me.
Asher’s lips are soft against mine, gentle. He takes his time, slowly dipping his tongue inside my mouth – testing and tasting.
An unfamiliar ache forms in my lower belly and my knees shake harder, threatening to give out under my weight. I slide my arms around Asher’s neck and hold onto him for dear life.
I don’t know how long the kiss lasts. Seconds bleed into minutes and I lose all sense of time. All I know is that when Asher pulls away, dropping his forehead to mine, I’ve never felt more alive in my entire life. It’s like his kiss has awoken something in me. Something I didn’t realize was there until this very moment.
“I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” Asher whispers, his hands coming up to cup my face as he lifts his head.
“Me too,” I admit, only slightly embarrassed by my admission.
“Now that I’ve kissed you, B, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop.” He leans forward, laying a light peck to my lips.
“Good. Because I never want you to.”
“You may regret saying that,” he tells me, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.
“Somehow I doubt that.” I press up on my tip toes and kiss him again.
“What am I going to do with you?” He grins at me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in close.
“Love me like you won’t let go,” I say, sliding my hands into his hair.
“That’s easy, B, because you are one person I couldn’t bear to lose.” He squeezes me tighter, his lips finding mine seconds later.
Chapter Seven
Blakely
“Can I help you take these out to the car?” I ask Mrs. Grayson, tying off the large bouquet I just finished arranging for her with a wide pink ribbon.
“Oh no, dear, I can handle them.” She smiles, hoisting the large vase into her arms.
“Well at least let me get the door for you.” I quickly round the counter and head to the front door.
“Thank you again, Blakely. The arrangement is beautiful. I know Cara will love them.” She waits until I open the door before stepping out into the warm summer afternoon.
“Make sure to tell her I said hello and congratulations.” I smile, offering her a small wave as she walks away.
I stand in the doorway for a long moment, loving the feeling of the warm sun on my face, before finally going back inside, the door closing behind me.
Since seeing Asher it’s been the longest two days in history. Yesterday, I spent my entire Sunday obsessing over my interaction with Asher. Replaying every word in my head a million times over, wishing I could go back and do it all again. Not because it would have ended any differently, but because there is so much more I still want to say.
Today has been no better. Only now, instead of obsessing over Saturday, I’m mentally preparing myself for what will come next. If what Asher said is true, and he came back for me, then I highly doubt this is the end of it. And to be honest, I’m not really sure how that makes me feel.
I’ve just entered my office when the chime over the front door sounds. Thankful for the distraction, I grab my cell phone off the desk before heading back out into the shop.
Pulling up Tyler’s number, I’m about to send him a quick text as I make my way behind the counter, but instead I stop mid-motion when I look up and see Asher standing next to the wall of floral coolers containing premade flower arrangements.
He doesn’t look in my direction as I enter, turning his back to me as he walks from door to door before stopping at the last one.
I watch the muscles in his back flex through the thin material of his light blue t-shirt as he slides open the door and pulls out a white peony bundle from the display case.
Heat flushes my face and I quickly look down at the open text box on my phone, not able to remember why I was texting Tyler in the first place.
When I look back up, Asher has already reached the counter. Setting the flowers on top, his eyes sweep to mine and I swear in that one look every ounce of air leaves my body.
How can he still hold so much power over me after all this time? It’s like no matter how much I tell myself no, I can’t stop myself from craving him on a level that I’m unable to understand.
“Is this all for you?” I ask, barely meeting his gaze as I drop my phone on the counter and ring up his purchase into the register.
“Is this what it’s come to? You’re going to treat me like I’m an ordinary customer?” There’s a roughness to his voice, and only when I really look at him do I see the dark circles lining his eyes.
God, even though he looks like he hasn’t slept in days, he’s still so damn beautiful it hurts. Dark scruff lines his jaw, and instead of sporting a hat like he normally does, his brown hair is uncovered, messy, and curling at the ends.
“How would you like me to treat you, Asher?” I demand, instantly hating how harsh my tone sounds.
I can’t help it. This man hurt me worse than anyone has ever hurt me before. The scars I carry from that run deep.
He looks at me for a long moment, no doubt choosing his next words carefully, but before he can speak, my voice cuts through again.
“Hot date?” I gesture to the flowers.
“Yes, B. I came all the way across town to your flower shop to buy flowers for another woman,” he says, sarcasm dripping from every word. “I think you know me better than that.”
“To be honest, I don’t really know anything about you anymore.”
His jaw flexes. “That’s not true.”
“But it is. You’ve been gone six years, Asher. Six years is a long time. People change.”
“And people move on.” His eyes dart to my engagement ring and I have the sudden urge to hide it from view.
“They do,” I confirm with a stiff nod. “Is there anything else you need today or will it just be this?” I redirect back to the flowers.
“Just this.” He sighs.
“Okay. That’ll be sixteen dollars and twenty-seven cents.” Asher reaches around and digs his wallet out of his back pocket before pulling out a twenty dollar bill. He drops it on the counter and picks up the bouquet.
“Keep the change.” He tucks his wallet back into his jeans.
“That’s okay.” I open the register, placing the twenty inside before pulling out three one dollar bills and change. “Here you go.” I extend the money to him, surprised when he takes it without argument.
The Asher I knew would have stood here and argued with me, insisting that I keep the money. Instead, he tucks it into his front pocket with his free hand.
“For the record, I’m going to see my parents.” He shifts the flowers to his other arm.
“Oh.” Guilt hits me like a sledgehammer to the chest. “I’m sorry about the date comment.”
“Don’t be. It’s far less than I deserve.” He shrugs. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry, B. I’m sorry for never calling. I’m sorry for being gone for so long. But I’m back now, and I’m not giving up on us. I still love you, Blakely.”
“You don’t know me anymore.” I try to hide the emotion welling in my voice.
“I know you,” he disagrees. “You can pretend I don’t all you want, but we both know you’re still the same girl I left on that platform six years ago.”
“You’re wrong. The girl you left on that platform went away the same day you did. And she never came back.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“I don’t care what you believe. You weren’t here. So you can stand there and argue with me until your blue in the face, but it still won’t change the fact that you no longer know a single thing about me.”
“Is that so?” He cocks his head to the side. “So you’re not the same girl that cries during
sad commercials? Or the one that can't stand any kind of ice cream other than strawberry? The girl who loves cheesy comedies and whose only ticklish part of her body is the back of her knees? The girl who puts everyone’s happiness above her own, no matter what it costs her? You’re telling me there’s none of that girl left?”
By the time he’s finished I don’t know what to say. I shouldn’t be surprised that he remembers so much about me. Then again, I remember just as much about him. That’s what happens when you’ve known someone nearly your entire life.
“For your information, I’ve taken quite the liking to butter pecan ice cream,” I correct him, biting hard on my lower lip when that brilliant smile of his flashes across his face.
“My adventurous girl.” He chuckles.
“I’m not your girl,” I point out, unsure if it’s to remind him or remind myself.
“No.” His eyes once again go to my left hand. “I guess you’re not.” He shakes his head slowly. “At least not yet anyway.”
“I don’t know what you came back here hoping to accomplish, Asher.”
“Easy. I came to get my girl back. I thought we had already established this.”
“Then you’re wasting your time.”
“We’ll see about that.” He gives me a look that tells me this discussion is far from over before moving toward the door.
I stand frozen, not sure what to say or do. A part of me wants to call out to him, beg him to stay, beg him to tell me why he left and didn’t come back until now. The other part of me wants him to walk out of this shop and never come back. Though, that part of me is growing smaller by the second.
“Why didn’t you call me?” My voice shakes around the question.
I watch his hand pause inches from the door before his head slowly turns in my direction.
“Because I knew if I heard your voice I’d never be able to stay away.”
“So you just left me hanging? Not knowing if you were okay. Not knowing if you were ever coming back.” My chin starts to quiver and I take a deep breath to reel my emotions in.
“I told you I’d come back.”
Love Me Like You Won't Let Go Page 4
