by R. H. Scott
“—Lieutenant Cassie Flatt.”
Cassie Flatt. Sloan didn’t know the girl. She rolled the name over in her mouth. It tasted wrong.
After a moment of silence, Kenny appeared. Slowly, he stepped away from the partitioned room, his eyes downcast. Opposite him, Cassie appeared. She didn’t have Tandy’s dark skin, she didn’t have a mess of wild brown locks, she didn’t have doe eyes, or hands that fluttered like butterflies at her side. She was just a girl, with heaving shoulders, crying.
Kenny and Cassie approached the Order, saluting dismally. The Academy was silent as they turned to face one another. Kenny took the girl’s hand, his eyes still trained on the floor. Cassie covered her quivering lip with her free hand, choking back tears.
Sloan turned to Jared. “This is devastating.” He offered her a helpless shrug.
Seeing two students suffer through the pairing was heartbreaking. There weren’t many who formed relationships before the Calling; it was too much of a risk. She and Jared had, though, lucking out in the end. Kenneth and Tandy had as well . . .
Was this the alternative to having all your dreams come true?
As soon as the Order began to draw the ceremony to a close, Sloan rushed out of the hall. She couldn’t stay there; she could barely remember why she had ever assumed the Calling was as wonderful for everyone as it had been for her. She climbed into a pod and jetted off to the outdoor training field. As the doors opened she sprung from the pod, running as fast as she could to reach the field. She fell to the hard ground, grasping at the blades of grass with her trembling fingers. Fingers that still ached from tonight’s fight, fingers that still trembled under the weight of Jared’s gift. She closed her eyes and saw Tandy’s face. She had held Kenny’s hand and talked about their loss, but she hadn’t felt Tandy’s absence so keenly until seeing him hold hands with the wrong girl.
Her heart ached for her friend’s pain, and it ached for her own relationship . . . She loved Jared for who he was, his confidence and easy grace, his competitive drive and charismatic nature. She loved him for who he had been for her, for the way he was ingrained in every memory she had of her own life. She toyed with the ring, imagining his mother, a blue-eyed woman who gave her most precious possession to her boy. A token of such value that he had now given to her to take care of . . . And once more a thought filled her head.
How can someone filled with such love be so heartless?
Sloan thought of Carson and how the older boy’s death had changed Jared so greatly. Carson had suffered from a heart defect, one he had never spoken of. Jared and Carson had been sparring, laughing as the captain continued to pin Jared in front of Sloan.
Carson helped Jared get to his feet again. “Dawson, if you keep watching her you’re going to get hurt.”
Jared had smiled, shrugging helplessly. “I can’t take my eyes off of her.”
Carson had studied Jared skeptically. “What are you going to do if you don’t get paired in the Calling then?”
Jared had walked over to her, kissing her forehead as he pulled her into his arms. “Then I will burn this whole place to the ground,” he promised, his words hot on her skin.
“What about you, Radcliffe? Are you in love with this messy kid?” Carson had smiled at her; she tightened her grasp on Jared.
“Of course I am.”
He had nodded at her approvingly, leaning over for his water bottle. “Good. Then promise you won’t break his heart,” he had ordered, swigging his water.
“I prom—”
It was at that moment, Carson collapsed. Jared wrenched free from her, falling to his mentor’s side. He pulled the older boy over, calling out his name, demanding he wake up. Carson’s weak chest heaved, his hand resting on his heart, and before anyone could try something to help, he stopped breathing.
Stone had explained Carson’s defect to her and Jared afterwards. The Infirmary had been monitoring him with medications, preparing for a surgery he never got to have. She had often thought about what his last words had been to her, how he had been speaking of love when his own heart had lost the ability to work. It hadn’t taken long for Sloan to realize that the moment Carson’s heart stopped, Jared’s had broken.
Sloan looked up to the sky, wondering if she could still keep the promise she had tried to make to the older boy, the one she had always thought would be impossible to break.
I had made a promise, in my heart, to never hurt him—but why can he find it so easy to hurt me with these secrets, with these plans?
And there it was. Sloan could finally admit to herself that Jared was hurting her. The most defining aspect of love was trust—and somewhere along the way, she and Jared had stopped trusting one another. How could she ever trust him with her life when she could now see how easily he would end another’s?
It wasn’t just about their promises to each other; it was the promises they had made to their Academy. To their families. Sure, they spent their lives learning to kill, but that was under the threat of their own possible execution; it was a necessity for their family’s safety. They, more than most, were meant to understand the sanctity of life. Needing to kill and choosing to kill were distinctly different.
More and more it seemed as if Jared had begun to lean more towards choosing.
Sloan wasn’t just afraid of who Jared was becoming, she wasn’t just afraid for Elijah . . . she was afraid of who she was becoming. Because she knew the truth. That however much Jared scared her, she wished she could be more like him.
She wished she could simply stop caring too.
As Sloan got to her feet, prepared to go back home, a single shot rang out in the night, a cracking whip in the darkness.
“Sloan!” Paul’s voice startled her, jerking her attention back. She dropped her fork, crossing her arms. She looked to Jared, who pushed food around aimlessly on his plate. It had been six days since Kenny’s suicide—six days since she and Jared had formed any real conversation.
“We were asking if you were worried about Fight Night,” Paul said.
“Worried about my fight? No, not at all.” She shrugged. She had nothing to be worried about for her fight; Maya wasn’t any real threat to her. But that was the last thing on her mind.
She had heard the gunshot. No one knew how Kenny had managed to get a pistol from the guarded lock safe, just as no one had seen him pocket a single bullet earlier in training. But he had. She had been the first to find him, followed by a swarm of sentries. She had screamed at them to get Amelia Brass, to get anyone from the Infirmary, to fix this. His pool of blood had stained her white dress. It was ruined, just as the Calling would always be for her from now on.
“Fight Night is going to go like it always does,” Jared said, snapping her back to the present. “Sloan and I will remain reigning champs,” he added, his usual confident voice sounding distinctly disinterested.
Six days. It had been six days since they had been forced into that disgusting display for the Order and he still had told her nothing—he refused to trust her with whatever reasons he had for wanting to send Elijah to Review, for whatever reasons the Order had for parading them out for those strangers.
“What if we don’t win?” The question blurted out of her, an angry, demanding challenge.
“Look, I’m upset about Kenny too—” he began, taking in her temper.
She shook her head at him, cutting him off. “Since when did you give a damn about other students’ lives?”
He stared at her with wide-eyed ferocity, silent and fuming. She didn’t care anymore. How could he see the pain Tandy’s death had caused everyone and live through Kenny’s suicide and still plan on risking Elijah’s life so carelessly?
“Go ahead, champ. Tell them what you’re asking for at Fight Night.” Her voice was low and provocative. If she was hurting him, she didn’t care—he no longer cared about ho
w he was hurting her.
Jared had pulled her out of the blood; he had dragged her away from Kenny’s body. She hadn’t realized she had been crying, hadn’t realized she had been speaking aloud when she demanded to know why Kenny had done this. Hadn’t realized until Jared had actually answered her.
“He was weak.”
Jared’s words had stunned her. If she had been the one to die instead of Tandy, would Jared have been stronger than Kenny, would he have survived her death despite every word he had ever spoken to the contrary? She had shoved him away from her, disgusted by his answer. Just as she was disgusted with him now for pretending he cared about Kenny’s death in front of their table.
“What are you going to ask for?” Will pried. They all leaned around one another to look at Jared.
Jared shrugged nonchalantly, but his glare stayed trained on Sloan. “When I win, I am having Elijah Daniels go up for Review.” His voice may have sounded confident, but Sloan could hear his nerves.
A piece of orange fell from Paul’s hand. “Are you joking, man?”
“No, I’m not. The Academy relies on unions like Sloan’s and mine. If Daniels can’t respect that he deserves to go to Review, to be warned to toe the line or face Dismissal.”
Will shook his head at Jared nervously. “Daniels is just messing with you guys. You can’t risk his life for that.”
“Shut up, Will,” Mika snapped. “You would feel the same way if it was us.”
“Well, I think it makes perfect sense, Jared.” Erica smiled sweetly.
“Same here. Who cares about Daniels?” Devon laughed.
Jared pushed his food tray away. “Just shut up, all of you. None of you know why I need to do this.”
“He’s not a threat to our union, Jare. I’m betrothed to you; he just has a stupid crush,” Sloan argued.
He narrowed his gaze on her. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know everything, Sloan.”
She leaned across the table. “Then tell me.”
“I can’t.”
Sloan recoiled. Wrong answer. She had waited long enough, she had been patient, she had tried to reason with him, and he gave her nothing in return.
“Is he risking your life, Jared? Is he risking mine?” she demanded, hitting the table angrily.
Jared stood, staring at her with anger and desperation. “He is risking everything I have.”
She stood, squaring off with him. “How? Tell me what he’s doing.”
He leaned away from her, crossing his arms, silent. She shook her head at his defiant reticence.
She took a step away. She was done with this. He had always sworn to do anything for her, do anything for their relationship, and when all she asked for was honesty, he couldn’t give it.
“I love you, Jared, but I hope Daniels takes your championship. You don’t deserve it.”
“You don’t know—” he began but she was already walking off. Crossing the hall.
Looking for Table 82.
The students on Elijah’s table stared up at her expectantly. A blond boy nudged Elijah, cuing him to notice her. He smiled, flicking his dark hair out of his eyes. She was keenly aware of just how many eyes were watching her, wondering what Jared Dawson’s betrothed was doing at Elijah Daniel’s table.
“I need to speak to you.”
He shrugged nonchalantly. “About what?”
“Not here.”
He followed her gaze, taking in the watchful students around them. He stood, nodding a goodbye to his table. She needed answers.
She gave 27 a wide berth as she made a beeline for the pods, Elijah in tow. She dialed in the training hall and stepped into the pod. As the doors closed, the last thing Sloan saw was Jared’s shocked face.
“So, are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Elijah asked, sitting on the floor of the training hall. Sloan paced.
“No, you’re going to tell me what’s going on.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She spun, glaring at him. “Do not play games with me, Daniels. I want the truth. What are you doing to Jared? What are you going to ask for in Fight Night that’s so important you won’t back out of it?”
He shook his head at her. “I don’t want to talk about that.”
“Why?” she snapped.
“Because I don’t want you to hate me.”
She had to admit that was the last thing she had expected him to say. More than ever, she knew this Fight Night was a bad idea.
“What is that supposed to mean? It doesn’t even matter. You need to back out.”
“I told you, I’m not afraid of Jared. I can beat him.”
How could he be so naïve?
“He is the champion. He has seriously hurt people and he didn’t even hate them.”
“I already told you—I’m not afraid of him.”
Sloan shook her head at him. “Just consider what he’s going to ask for when he wins.”
“I could wager a few guesses,” he laughed stupidly.
“This isn’t a game, you idiot! He is going to send you to Review.”
She had been afraid that she wasn’t going to be able to say it. That her love and loyalty to Jared—still tugging at her incessantly—would keep her silent. But the words fell from her with relief, a secret she no longer had to hold. She studied his face for some look of shock, but he stared up at her calmly. She moved to stand before him.
“Don’t you understand? You’re risking—” she began, but he raised a hand, silencing her.
“I already know . . . the same way he knows what I am asking for.” He reached out to touch her hand but she snapped it away.
“You know?” She felt like the idiot now, dragging him here to help him avoid Jared’s wrath. He knew the risks and didn’t seem to care. It dawned on Sloan that perhaps Elijah Daniels wasn’t so different from Jared Dawson.
Sloan shook her head at him, confused and angry. “There is nothing worth risking your life over.” Even as she said it, though, she could hear Jared’s long-ago promises.
“I would die for you. I would kill for you.” It had never dawned on her that she wouldn’t want him to.
As if echoing her thoughts, Elijah asked, “Really? You wouldn’t risk your life for the Order? For Jared?”
“That’s different . . . risking my life for duty or the one I love is not the same.” She wouldn’t risk her life for a championship title; she wouldn’t risk someone else’s life because they had an infatuation with Jared. Elijah could have all the feelings in the world for Sloan and it wouldn’t be a threat to her love for Jared. How couldn’t Jared see that?
“Well, what if I told you I was doing just that?”
“Doing what? Fighting for the sake of the Order?”
“No,” he answered, shaking his head slowly. “Risking my life for love.”
Sloan turned around. She didn’t need to hear any more of this. Nothing she said seemed to have any impact.
“I’m not going to lose.” His words followed her as she started to move to the exit. In an instant, he was in front of her.
“I can explain everything, Sloan—” he began, but was interrupted by the loud slam of the entrance doors swinging open, revealing Jared. He took measured steps across the hall, hands curled in fists, eyes alight.
“Sloan, I told you to stay away from him,” he growled.
“Go to hell,” she snapped, shaking her head at him boldly. She had spent her entire life being ordered around—she wouldn’t take it from him too.
He stormed towards her. “You are not a captain, you do not need to know why Daniels and I are fighting, and you need to stop challenging me in front of the entire damn Academy!” His voice echoed through the auditorium, shaking her. She wouldn’t be cowed. Not by this person—th
is stranger—standing before her.
Elijah stepped forward to meet Jared. “You need to calm down, Dawson.”
“Screw you, Daniels. You’re loving this, aren’t you?” Jared snapped, shoving Elijah away.
Elijah stepped back angrily. “She deserves to know!”
“Know what?” Sloan yelled, getting in between the two.
“Do not say a word,” Jared warned Elijah.
Sloan turned to face Jared. “I don’t want to hear it from him anyway. You tell me. What are you keeping from me?”
Jared shook his head at her, staying silent. Elijah took that as an invitation to speak.
“Something went wrong in your Betrothal Calling, Sloan.”
Sloan stumbled back as Jared leaped past her, punching Elijah. Elijah fell away, touching the corner of his mouth where a stream of blood appeared. He wiped it away, rounding on Jared.
“You know this fight won’t change a thing. Even if you win, even if I get Reviewed or whatever happens to me. She will find out!”
“Find what out?” Sloan screamed. This time Elijah rounded on her angrily.
“Figure it out—you’re a smart girl!”
Nothing came to her, though. Nothing had happened at her Betrothal Calling other than being paired with the one she loved. She backed away from their expectant gazes, glaring at them with disbelief. How did I end up here, with these two? Elijah, who has done nothing but try to ruin my relationship, and Jared, who has become unrecognizable?
She studied his face—his blue eyes filled with frustration.
Doesn’t he understand that he’s a part of who I am? That when he changes, I change?
Sloan wanted everything to go back to how it used to be . . . to the days where she knew with certainty who she was because Jared knew who he was. To a time where she wasn’t surrounded by secrets strong enough to kill.
Elijah was the first to move, taking a step towards her hesitantly. “You can fight it all you want, but there is something between you and me, something that you didn’t know existed until I was a part of your life . . . But I knew it existed, Sloan, I knew there would be something between us—I knew it since the Calling when you got paired to Jared.”
