by Pandora Pine
The first thing that caught my attention was the brilliant starfield. I’d never bothered to learn the names of the constellations, but standing here now, I wanted to know what I was looking at. The second thing I noticed was a dark shape on Kennedy’s balcony. His deck was only six feet from my own, so I could see him even in the low light. “Can’t sleep?” I called over.
Kennedy startled. Maybe he had been sleeping. Or lost in his own private world. “What are you doing out here?” His voice was low. It almost sounded like a growl.
“Uh, this is my house.” Shit, I was being a dick again. “I can’t sleep,” I said in a softer voice.
“Me either,” Kennedy admitted. “Is the new bed too soft, Goldilocks?” Even with the joke, the tone of his voice hadn’t changed.
I snorted. Ordinarily, I would have fired something back about him being Papa Bear. I didn’t. There was something up with Kennedy tonight. Something bad by the sound of it. Instead of being a sarcastic asshole, I tried to think of something a friend or one of his brother’s would say to him in this situation. “No, the bed is perfect. My head is still spinning from my shift today.”
“You washed fire trucks. How can soapy water keep you up at night?” Kennedy sounded truly confused, but he was still growling.
“It wasn’t the bed. It was the gesture. It was given out of kindness. I might have grown up with a rich father, but that doesn’t mean he was kind to me.” Damn, I was back to sounding pitiful again. Poor little rich boy.
Kennedy stood up from the Adirondack chair he’d been sitting in. He walked to the end of the deck closest to mine. “Did he really kick you out for failing out of school or was there something else?”
There wasn’t a lot of light, but I could tell there was something up with him. His eyes looked round and puffy like he’d been crying. If me telling him my coming out sob story would help somehow, I was willing to give it a go. “I always thought my parents knew I was gay. You know how you hear stories about guys that come out and his family asks what took so long? I was hoping it would be like that for me.” It wasn’t. Not by a long shot.
“Did you tell them during an argument, or during a family meeting when you were calm?” His voice had turned curious.
I knew why he asked the question. I was a sarcastic hothead. Blurting things out was my modus operandi, but not in this case. “There had been so many fights where my father had the upper hand and I just wanted to blurt it out to win, but I didn’t want that to be my story.”
“That’s smart thinking. Once you say the words, you can never take them back.” Kennedy’s voice was tinged with pride. I can’t ever remember someone being proud of me before.
“Right. So, I was home during winter break, and I had a date. A real date. He was so cute, and I planned on giving him my virginity. Ramon Cruz was a hottie. He’d been on the basketball team and I never missed a game. He was tall and magnificently built. I wanted to show him off to the world, but my parents needed to know about him first before I took that next step.”
Kennedy’s shoulders slumped further. I could see he knew how the story was going to turn out.
“I sat them down and just told them I was gay. Neither of them said a word. Their faces were shocked, like they’d never known at all.” I could see that moment frozen in my mind’s eye.
“That doesn’t surprise me. From everything you’ve told me, it sounds like they were totally into themselves and their lives.”
I opened my mouth to shoot something back at him. Kennedy didn’t know my parents. How dare he make an assumption like that? Problem was, he was right. He’d also done more for me in the last forty-eight hours than my parents had in my life. “Yeah, that’s what I thought too.” I shrugged, wanting to be done with this topic, but there was still more to tell.
“How did they respond once they found their words?” Kennedy’s voice was gentle.
“My father didn’t want to hear any gay talk. He stormed out of the room. I tried to explain it to my mother. I told her about Ramon.” I could feel my eyes going glassy. The last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of him. “My father stormed back in and told me he’d kick me out on my ass if I went out with a man. I was going to get together with Ramon come hell or high water. I picked a night when my parents were going to their country club for the evening. They were usually out until after midnight.”
“I’m guessing they came back early.” The earlier pride in Kennedy’s voice was now replaced with a bone-deep sadness.
I gave my head a little shake. “My parents caught us and threw us both out.” My heart clenched in my chest remembering the crushed look on Ramon’s face. “I decided then and there I was done with my father and his manipulative ways.”
Nodding, Kennedy moved back toward his chair and sat down hard. It seemed he’d heard enough.
My story wasn’t that bad. I knew whatever was up with him had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him. I pattered down the stairs in my bare feet. The chilly morning dew soaked my toes. I didn’t care. Kennedy had done so much for me, I needed to do something in return for him.
When I reached the top of the stairs, he was sitting in his chair with his head in his hands. There was a faint odor of alcohol on the night breeze. “Tell me about it.”
Kennedy gave a bit of a start. He looked at me as if he couldn’t believe I was there. His blue eyes were glittering. Unfortunately, they were glittering with sadness. “We were working on a prostitution sting. The last john of the night pulled a gun on the female detective. When I went into the room, he took a shot at me.” Kennedy’s hands were shaking as he spoke.
I might not know much about police work, aside from what happens on CSI, but seeing Kennedy come undone like this, I knew the situation had been hairier than he was describing. “Are you all right?” I couldn’t see anything that indicated he’d been hurt, but it was dark out and he was dressed in shorts and a tee.
“I’m fine. The detective playing the role of the hooker was shot. She’s in critical condition at Gloucester Mercy.” Kennedy gave his head a shake. “The fucker wanted to see her undressed and then he wanted her money. When I came into the room, he fired at me and then turned the gun on her.”
I’d seen something about a female member of the Gloucester Police Officer being wounded in the line of duty but hadn’t paid any attention to the story. I was so exhausted after the day I’d had at work, all I’d wanted to do was go to bed. “There was a call near the end of my shift. One of the ambulances was sent on a call and Ozzy took one of the fire trucks even though it hadn’t been dispatched. My shift was over before they’d come back.” Shit, should I have stayed at the station to wait for them?
“Yeah, that was our call. Hal Rossi did one hell of a job with Ella. If she survives this, it will be thanks to him.” Kennedy’s voice was back to sounding distant again.
Everything made sense now. His strange mood and the off-putting tone in his voice. I had no idea what to do to help Kennedy. I set what I hoped was a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
Kennedy hissed in response. His eyes blazed blue fire, reminding me of the White Walkers on Game of Thrones. I backed away from him.
I was sure I’d hurt him, but before I knew what was happening, he was out of his chair and stalking toward me. The way Kennedy moved reminded me of a jungle cat. He was sleek, muscled, and had this look in his eyes that told me I was his prey. A sizable bulge had grown in his shorts. A shiver of apprehension tore through my body when I backed into the deck railing. I was trapped. There was nowhere to go. Straightening my spine, I waited for him to come for me.
He stopped a few inches away. If he moved just a tiny bit forward, his chest would bump mine. I could feel his body heat radiating toward me and could smell the whiskey on his breath. I didn’t know him very well, but I got the impression he was letting his dick rule his head in the moment. “That’s a good boy,” Kennedy muttered under his breath.
Another shiver tore through my bo
dy. I’d never been anyone’s good boy before, but I wanted to be. Desperately. Not knowing what to say, I looked up at him. His glassy eyes held a note of seriousness and something else I couldn’t quite identify. Need, maybe?
Kennedy’s hands landed on my hips. His fingers trembled before digging in. His eyes were locked on mine with such an intensity I would swear he could see straight into my soul.
His touch lit a fire in me. I wanted to reach out to him and wrap my hands in the soft fabric of his t-shirt. But I didn’t. Kennedy was in charge here and I was going to let his will be done. I would deal with the ramifications of that later.
The grip on my hips eased, as Kennedy slid his hands up my slim torso. He paused, giving each of my nipples a tweak. I couldn’t help moaning in response to his touch. My dick was hard and digging into my stomach. I knew he was close enough to feel the heat of me.
Kennedy’s hands slid slowly up my neck. If I hadn’t been so enamored of what was going on at the moment, I would’ve been afraid of him. His hands stayed wrapped around my throat for several seconds before they landed on my face. This was absolutely the hottest moment of my life. Every other man I had ever been with couldn’t compare to this moment with Kennedy.
The man seemed to be studying me. Looking for what, I didn’t know. Maybe he was battling himself. I didn’t care. I stood my ground and waited for whatever was going to happen next.
In that instant, his lips were hot on mine. I did reach out, my hands wrapping themselves around his hips only to keep myself upright. If I hadn’t reached out to him, I would’ve ended up in a boneless puddle on the deck.
His right hand slid back down the narrow column of my throat. I could feel his thumb pressing against the pulse point there. My heart was pounding like an out-of-control jackhammer. I knew he felt it, and how much I truly wanted him.
Kennedy pulled his lips away from mine. I had never been more disappointed in my life, until his silky tongue started rubbing against my sealed lips. Everything inside of me wanted me to open up to him, to taste him as he was tasting me, but I didn’t do it. I might not ever have the opportunity to kiss Kennedy Lynch again. I was going to make this last as long as I could.
“So sweet,” he cooed. Sounding dazed, he licked out over my upper lip, teasing the place it came to a point.
“Christ, Kennedy,” I couldn’t help moaning his name.
Kennedy took that opportunity to surge into my mouth. Both hands were wrapped around my face again, and I couldn’t help feeling a little cherished in that moment. He was such a big man, muscled, and hard. Yet, he was treating me as if I were a porcelain doll.
The moment his tongue met mine, I lost all ability to think. All I could do was cling to Kennedy and trust that he wouldn’t let me go. I could feel every muscle tensing his body. He was hard as steel beneath my fingertips, while another impressive and hard part of him nudged against my thigh. It was in the back of my mind to reach out for it and give him a little pleasure on what had to be a god-awful night for him, but I reigned in my own desire and let him set the pace.
Without warning, Kennedy pulled back from me. His eyes were filled with passion, but his body language told me something had thrown a bucket of cold water on him. Maybe his heart, but most likely his head. “Good night, boy.” With those words, Kennedy turned from me and went back into the house. I heard the sliding glass door lock into place and after a few seconds, the privacy blinds settled back into place.
My heart was still racing, and my dick was still hard as stone. I gave one last look to Kennedy’s closed door and headed back to my house. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to sleep for a while yet.
11
Kennedy
I woke up to a text jingle from my captain, telling me Ella was still in ICU, but had been upgraded from critical to critical, but stable. Which meant she hadn’t gotten any worse overnight. The surgery to remove the bullet had been successful, but she’d lost a lot of blood.
Thanks to hospital regulations, I had only been able to donate one pint. I would’ve given so much more if I had been able to. Ella meant the world to me and I would do anything to make sure she came through this healthy.
Her husband, Javier, had come to see me while I was in the donation room. He, of course, had asked if his wife had said anything before she’d been taken away by the ambulance. I wasn’t going to tell him what she had said to me about their fight, but since he had asked me to my face, I felt like I didn’t have a choice.
Javi had been in tears by the end of my story. Not only had I told him what Ella said, I also gave him a quick rundown of exactly what had happened in that shitty motel room last night. I had planned to work on my incident report while the hospital vampires drained me, but in the end, I was glad I’d had a chance to deliver Ella’s message.
My brother, Ozzy, had called when I was in the shower. He was on his way to visit Ella and asked if I would meet him at the hospital. I could only draw one conclusion. He wanted to talk to me about Gunnar. Fuck me gently with a jackhammer.
Of course, the boy wonder had been on my mind since I’d kissed him last night. I still didn’t know what had gotten into me. What the hell had I been thinking kissing him like that? Not that it hadn’t been the most explosive kiss of my entire life. Christ, I’d only been seconds away from taking him right there on the back deck. Gunnar had been just as hard and ready to go as I was.
The only thing that stopped me from fucking my neighbor like a caveman was a flashback to what happened in that motel room. I could see Ella down on the filthy floor with her blood pouring out over her hands. I’d backed away from Gunnar like I’d been burned.
I suppose, in a way I had been. In my thirty years, no one had ever kissed me like Gunnar Prince. He kissed me like I was his oxygen and he’d die without my lips pressed to his. Making my cock even harder was the fact that he’d been so sweetly submissive. Thinking about it now was making my dick hard all over again. I was thankful, in the light of day, that I’d walked away when I had.
Catching sight of the hospital was enough to quell my growing hard-on. Knowing my brother would be waiting for me in the lobby served to throw a second bucket of ice water on my hormones. I could only imagine Ozzy had bad news for me and that, coupled with Ella being in the fight for her life, thankfully took my mind off my dick and Gunnar, to some degree.
Ozzy was waiting for me in the large, open atrium of the hospital lobby. “Hey, man.” I didn’t give him a chance to return my greeting but pulled him into a hug.
“Are you okay?” Ozzy mumbled against my shoulder, before pushing me back to take a peek at my face. He was looking me over like my mother would have, had she been here.
I knew in that moment I was screwed.
“What the hell happened to you? Jesus, you look like something out of The Walking Dead. Shit, half of those zombies look better than you. Come with me.” Without giving me a chance to answer or protest, Ozzy was dragging me toward the elevator bank. I knew we were headed toward the cafeteria. Having known my brother for nearly twenty years now, I knew he listened best with a full stomach. It was a McCoy family tradition to talk things out over cookies and cocoa. Later it had been lattes and then cocktails. With it being morning, I’d settle for some juice and chocolate pudding.
My brother was silent as we rode the elevator down a level to where the cafeteria and the respiratory therapy team was housed. There were other people in the car with us, but he wouldn’t have said another word even if we’d been alone. It was just how Ozzy worked.
The cafeteria was nearly empty. There was an older couple with cups of coffee in front of them, looking as if they were preparing for the absolute worst. I knew the feeling well. That feeling and I had become acquainted during my childhood when one of my mother’s boyfriends would lose his temper and it continued on through today with my current situation. My partner was clinging to life in the ICU and my brother was about to drop a bombshell. Thankfully, there was pudding.
I gr
abbed a table as far away from the other couple as possible. From where I was sitting, I could see Ozzy chatting with a man in a white lab coat. He tried to keep it on the downlow, but I saw him take the other man’s phone. Obviously, they were exchanging numbers. Go, Ozzy.
“Did you see that? Damn, that man was fine.” Ozzy was all smiles as he sat down at the table. He’d gotten a giant coffee and two large muffins. The one he tore into was blueberry.
“Yeah, I saw him.” I couldn’t have been less interested in this conversation. I know my voice conveyed that loud and clear.
Ozzy shot me a frown. His scar twisted with it. “Look I get that your friend is in the hospital, but word in the ICU is that she’s going to pull through this and with a little PT after she’s healed, Ella will back to work in no time.”
“Nice of you to save that crucial information until now. Jesus, Ozzy! I’ve been upset enough over what happened to Ella. Why the hell would you drag out my worry?” I’d always had trouble with anxiety. Just another one of the many gifts from my mother’s string of men. Anxiety. Panic. Cigarette burns. Near molestation. Those men had saddled me with so much shit over those formative years. It was a wonder I wasn’t a broken-down drunk living under a bridge. The McCoys had truly saved me in every way possible.
“Hey, I’m sorry.” The shit-eating grin on his face morphed instantly into concern. “I thought you knew about Ella.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t. Not only did I have to worry about her, I’m also on edge about what you need to tell me. I know this has something to do with Gunnar. Just say it and get it over with. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. If you have to fire him, just tell me.” I sat up straighter, bracing myself for whatever bad news Ozzy had for me.
His serious face broke into grin. He barked out a quick laugh before he managed to get himself back under control. “I do want to talk to you about Gunnar, but not because I want to give him the boot. He was phenomenal yesterday.”
“He was?” I cleared my throat loudly. “Of course he was.” I sounded more confident now.
