Beautiful Chaos

by Keta Kendric

  My eyes slid closed on a calming inhale before I raised my face to the breeze. The last image of the view was set in my mind leading me to connect it with the lulling sounds of nature floating into my ears.

  This was the kind of contented peace you took your time enjoying and relished with appreciation. The atmosphere was brimming with a special level of magic I had never encountered before, like Khane.

  I glanced at him in time to see his eyes slide across my body like the touch of a slow hand. The need in his strained expression was a reflection of my own: impulsive and blazing with hot desires. Nipples tight, pussy quivering, body buzzing, and drool on the tip of my tongue. Jesus. The man had me stalk naked with all my clothes on.

  It was with great difficulty that I turned away, and found that not even the spectacular surroundings helped to ease the tight hold Khane had on me.

  I shuffled to the patio couch and plopped down onto the comfortable cushions. On a deep exhale, I rested my head back and allowed the sun to bath me in its energizing warmth. I was at a loss as to how to overcome the depth of my attraction, the length of my desire, or the enormity of the consuming needs I had developed for Khane.

  There was something embedded in his spirit that had latched onto mine, and I didn’t have the answer or the key to turn it off. I didn’t want to. He lit a vibrant spark that had me bustling with emotions that I wanted to share with him.

  He was the only man I wanted to crowd, to cling to, touch, hold, and kiss. Usually, I settled for mediocre sex and half-hearted companionship to put a band-aid on my desires. Khane made me want to fall at his feet and beg him to sleep with me, and something in my spirit knew it would be better than what I’d had with anyone else.

  Although I could read reluctance and uncertainty hindering his stride, he decided to join me on the cushioned bench. His looming shadow lingered over me, standing right between my legs and giving me a tease of where I wanted him. A few feet of space sat between us after he’d rested near the thick wooden arm of the bench.

  I feasted on him. The way his clothes fit his built body, gave me a teasing glimpse of his ripped physique. I zoomed in on every roll of muscle, and I noticed every careful movement he made to stay clear of me.

  He was having as much difficulty staying away from me as I was him, the idea giving me a thrill when it should have been a deterrent for me to keep my distance. I drummed my fingers against my thigh as I reigned in my dangerous thoughts, and contemplated my next move.

  “So, what’s your love life like since you live way out here? Do you invite women over? Am I blocking you from anything?”

  He glared like my question was the most ridiculous one he had ever heard. Based on his cocked gaze, he knew I was being nosey.

  “What?” I lifted my hands. “I’m just curious.” His eyes had caught the, BElieve in YOUrself, tattoo I had on the inside of my left wrist when I had raised my arm.

  “I don’t date,” he finally answered. “We meet, we fuck, and we go our separate ways.”

  My cocked gaze sat on his unreadable one. “Just like that. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am?”

  Our gazes remained locked. “Yep, I prefer it that way.”

  “You’re a hot guy, Khane. I’d have something to say about it if you fucked me once and never wanted to see me again.”

  His glare widened at my words. Oh. My. God. Was he blushing? Had I made Khane ‘The Kannibal’ Vallin blush? He turned his head away, releasing a low chuckle. “You think I’m hot?”

  I hadn’t missed that he had put stress on the word, you. Was he insinuating that my opinion held more weight than any other woman’s?

  “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m openly flirting with you when I’m engaged to your brother. That fact alone speaks to your hotness.”

  There it was again. He was blushing, his cheeks flaming from my words. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. He was as human as the rest of us, not this big man-eating beast that the world had made him out to be.

  As far as rumors went, he was the physical representation of the grim reaper. However, and in the short time that I had known him, I had learned that he was so much more. Engaging, patient, a protector, creative, and smart, though he tried to downplay it all.

  “Has no one ever told you that you are hot, sexy, and tempting in a way that makes it hard for a girl to keep her hands to herself?”

  “Yes, but not in the way that you do, and I never cared what they thought.” There it was again. Was he saying that my opinion mattered more than others, or was I reading more into his words than what was there?

  “Why would you say that? Are you teasing me?” His perplexed expression made me aware that he was still processing my comment.

  The man was clueless as to the level of male sexiness he possessed. He had no idea that he dragged need and want from every part of me. He had to know by now that he had me so open for him that it was straddling a dangerous line I’d been fighting not to cross.

  “Khane, look at me.” He lifted his gaze, his eyes heavy and searching mine. “I’m being honest with you. I said what I said because…” I sat my hand atop his. He began to pull it away, but decided against it, leaving our infusing connection intact.

  “You take care of your appearance, it shows, and that in itself is attractive. You obviously invest time in taking care of your body. I love your height. What woman in her right mind doesn’t want to touch and caress the hard planes of muscles of a toned and firm male body?” I said, while glancing at him to gauge his reaction to my bold words.

  “I’m finding it difficult to explain how you make me feel. You have something special about you that connects with something in me. I could talk your ear off, and you’d still listen to all my nonstop chatter, not to mention the level of patience you’ve shown me since I’ve been here. I’m also impressed with your exquisite taste in art and your creative insight. You are interesting and so much more than people’s perception of you, but your reputation is all you allow others to see. I love what’s hidden behind the reputation.”

  He appeared awed by my words, his expression paused and his lips parted on a stalled word as his gaze searched mine for the truth. I shrugged. “What can I say? I’m human. We like what we like, and we want what we want.”

  I closed my eyes in drew in a deep smiling breath. “Your scent: I can’t get enough of it. I would much prefer you, the real source, but I’ve had to settle for sniffing your shirt to keep things from getting all weird if I started sniffing you instead. Why do you think I’ve been wearing your shirt since you gave it to me?”

  I popped the collar of his shirt before giving it a good shoulder-lifting sniff to drive home my comments. I spotted the smile shining in his eyes at my action and the recognition that I wasn’t feeding him a bunch of bullshit.

  “Unfortunately, for me, with you, I know I have to be hands-off, which really sucks.”

  “What about this?” he asked, pointing at his eye. “It doesn’t creep you out?”

  “Adds a serious edge to your hotness,” I answered without having to think about the question.

  He lifted his gaze to the view, and so did I. I had revealed things I was supposed to keep to myself, to the man that I wasn’t supposed to want. However, I was finding that when it came to Khane, my off-limits meter wasn’t malfunctioning, it was broken.

  “So, you’ve never dated…anyone?” I couldn’t leave it alone.

  “Nope. There’s no point.”

  My brow lifted. “Why? No connection? Bad sex? You just like being alone?”

  When his gaze captured mine this time, it didn’t hold just my eyes, it held my body and caused me to fight back a squirm.

  “None of the above. It’s that I’ve always wanted something else. Since I knew I couldn’t have it, I’d settle for temporary fixes.”

  Glaring at him under my lashes, his stare hadn’t released me yet. “What was it that you wanted?” His eyes dropped at the question, and his body seemed to deflate as he rele
ased a long breath. “It doesn’t matter,” he replied in a low tone. What was I missing? I had caught a flash of something in his gaze that I didn’t know how to translate, like a secret whispered while I slept.

  After a paused moment, I snapped, one part campaigning for safety, the other part urging me to be bad. I was always the behaved Evans. Why not embrace what it meant to truly be an Evans and flirt with the type of danger a true Evans would, without giving a damn about the consequences.

  I sensed Khane eyeing me when I slid closer to him, especially since I hadn’t left a single inch of space between us. The warmth from his leg pressed against mine was enough to flow along the surface of my full body.

  “Khane,” I breathed his name, my heart rate already up and running from being in close proximity of him. He had my heat level set on blazing, and my body spewing sexual impulses that left me crazed. He sat deathly still, his fingers gripping the top of his knees so hard they were white-knuckled.

  “Yes,” he finally answered me. His tone rang smooth and calm and was in direct contrast to his clenched posture. I noticed the quick and choppy movement of his chest, thrilled that I wasn’t the only one fighting the potent attraction between us.

  A deep sigh escaped before my words. “I don’t know what’s going on between us, but I don’t want to fight it anymore. I want to touch you. I want to know what it would be like to kiss you.”

  His hard swallow sounded loud, as the impact of my words tightened his grip to the point that his hands shook.

  “I have a loyalty to my brother that I must uphold. I’ve already crossed the line with you, and I can’t let it happen again,” he replied, his gaze aimed straight ahead. I, on the other hand, had my eyes roaming every close-up inch of him. His heady male scent was even more intoxicating from those deadly pull-ups he had been doing and the effort he was exerting to keep his hands off of me.

  “Why? Because I’m marrying him?” I replied. “We don’t live in an honest world, Khane. We live by darkness. We live within the chaos we were born into. We live by codes that were set forth by some long-dead power holders. You’re a soldier, and I’m nothing but a pawn being used to strengthen not one, but two power bases. I want to be happy, even if for a stolen moment.”

  My abrupt movement when I stood caused him to flinch and flash me a sharp glare, but the look melted away as quickly as it had appeared. I turned into the triangle of his powerful legs, forcing them to widen so I could stand between them. His hungry gaze met mine, visual feedback that this wasn’t a one-way attraction.

  If he wanted me to move, he would have to put his hands on a part of my body. I had gotten so worked up, at this point, I didn’t care where, I just wanted his hands on me.

  The fronts of my legs made contact with the muscular insides of his, causing him to suck in a deep gasp. My face was about a half foot above his, my gaze boring into his.

  “Is this some kind of game? There is only so much I can take.” His question and statement were a warning.

  He sucked in a deep gust when my palm stroked his cheek on the side where he couldn’t see well. With a close-up view of his damaged eye, I found that it didn’t blur with a foggy overcast like I had seen before in the blind. The iris reflected a darker gray where it was once brown. The imperfection didn’t take away from the beauty I saw in him, his handsome masculine strength, or his intoxicating allure. What others might see as a disability or defect, to me, fit Khane’s personality perfectly. The man was beautiful on the most masculine spectrum of the word.

  His hands remained clenched at his knees as his body shook to contain the same coiled passion as mine. I trapped his face between my palms, and stared into his eyes that hadn’t left me since I stepped between his legs.

  My body began to bend to him of its own accord, the movement closing the space between us. His heaving chest moved us, enough to hide the tremble in me. Our harsh breaths met and mingled before we breathed each other. Why did I fear him rejecting me more than the consequences of the actions I was set to take?

  Inches before our lips connected, he surrendered to the near-suffocating tension between us. The resistance he had fought so hard to cling to was released as his body relaxed. The connection of his warm cheek against my fingertips set off a light tingle, while his strong arms wrapped around me and tightened so that our bodies merged into one.

  Although I had leaned in, I hadn’t yet initiated contact. My lips sat less than an inch from his. I waited, for him to turn away, to push me away, to get up, but he did neither. We sat at that moment, deciding if we wanted to cross the dangerous line that was blurring by the second.

  The decision was made for us. I found myself being lulled in by a warm caressing force that made our lips meet at the same time.

  The first touch set off gas-soaked fireworks inside me, intensifying my need, heightening my desire, and destroying the last bit of will-power. My eyes fell closed on contact. His kiss was air. Not the air I was used to breathing, but the air that sparked life into me when I took my first breath into this world.

  I breathed Khane’s world, a magnificence that was created because he existed. My lips caressed his with a feathery stroke, testing his responsiveness. When his lips, so soft and warm, accepted mine, I delved deeper, tasting him, inhaling him.

  A breathless moan escaped when the tip of his exploring tongue brushed a tender stroke across my quivering bottom lip. The touch hit some urgent need inside that had me deepening the kiss and licking at his lips until our tongues twirled into a sensual embrace.

  The penetrating kiss set off an explosion of tingles that fired off all over me. Khane smelled like sweet loving heat, but his scent was trumped by his exquisite taste, a flavor that tickled my taste buds and awakened euphoria.

  The deep press of my mouth over his was met with a throaty whimper that vibrated across my tongue and elicited a throaty moan from me.

  His kiss fueled my heart, making it pulse with new life, strong and fierce. I was brimming with pure joy, a foreign emotion, but one I let sank into my spirit. I devoured his lips with ease, loving the soft suppleness as they melted against mine and slid into the grooves of our joy with perfect precision.

  I don’t know how, but I managed to separate my lips from his, pleased at the knowledge that he hadn’t released me from his embrace. His strong arms encircled my hips. One of his big hands had a tight grip on my ass, cupping and squeezing my cheek as the other was spread and bracketing my lower back.

  “You taste so good,” I murmured against his lips, my shaking words barely breaking into the plain of sound. Kissing him and being enveloped in his caring warmth was like experiencing infinity expressed across every emotion at once.

  First, his scent had me sniffing and filling my lungs with his magic every chance I got. Now, the taste of him whispered sweet notes of seduction to my taste buds before shooting his delicious flavor through me.

  I drank in his essence, a soothing elixir that was the key to unleashing joy because I was soaked in the charming energy. Was a man this deadly and dangerous supposed to taste so good? Did he have any idea the level of power he held over me?

  He pulled away, putting a little more space between us, but not letting me go. Instead of glancing up, he dropped his head against my stomach. His face turned left to right while the top of his head pressed into me. I believed he was attempting to forge enough will to fight against the strong currents of emotions that had engulfed us. There was no way he didn’t feel the rush.

  The fingers of my left hand dug into the tight muscles of his shoulder as my right hand glided through his dark, silky hair. He released a groan at my actions before he finally lifted his head.

  Our gazes held as the controlling connection pulsed through us and kept us outside the boundaries we weren’t supposed to cross. My fingers tingled through the thick hair of his beard until it connected with the heat of his skin.

  “Does this feel like I’m playing a game?” I answered the question he’d long ago
asked with a question of my own. My heavy gaze fell to his lips, wanting more, so much more than I knew was right to take.

  Without breaking eye contact, he started, “We…” His chest bobbed, his breaths harsh, “…Can’t,” his second word sprang free. The knowledge that I could make a man of his strength and stature breathless sent a wave of excitement washing over my charged-up body.

  I didn’t want to hear what he was telling me, especially not the word ‘can’t’. I placed my lips atop his, giving a soft peck to remind him of how potent our connection was.

  “Why can’t we?” I questioned. “You want me as badly as I want you, but your allegiance to your brother, a man I’m not marrying for love or even to have a relationship with, means you’re willing to deny yourself?”

  The sparks of our desire stood firm as we sat in silence and let the emotions have their say.

  “I’m sorry, Khane, I can’t pledge my romantic loyalty to Arjen. I can only allow him to give me his name, especially now.” I knew I wasn’t thinking straight because I was defenseless against the forces in play between us.

  If I was this enamored in less than two weeks, I didn’t want to know the result of spending more time with him. A life with Arjen would mean seeing Khane without knowing what it would be like to kiss him. Therefore, I didn’t have a choice. I had to know, or it would be sheer torture always wondering, always wanting to know. On the other hand, if we went too far, I feared I would end up getting a taste of something that I would crave and never have access to again. What a fucked up situation.

  “What are you saying?” he questioned, his gaze locking with mine.

  “Desiree?”

  My name on his lips with so much passion flowing between us was a panty wetting event. The smooth intensity in his timbre gripped my raging hormones, stilling them to whisper his wicked plans of parting my pussy with his tongue so that he could tell her a secret. My attempt to shake away my lust-fueled thoughts and concentrate on what we had been talking about proved difficult.