by Keta Kendric
“I bought and paid for her. She was mine to do with as I pleased!” Arjen shouted words I knew he didn’t mean. Desiree was the only woman he had ever shown an interest in outside of wanting to fuck. His cruel words socked me in the chest, and I prayed Desiree couldn’t hear us.
“She’s a person, Arjen, not an object. And you wouldn’t be this upset if you didn’t, on some level, care about her too.”
“If you knew I cared about her, why the hell would you fuck her? Did she cast a spell on you? Make you lose control of your dick? Take possession of your mind?”
She’d put a spell on me long before he had placed her under my protection, but revealing that information to my brother, at this moment, would only make matters worse.
“I felt like a human being around her and not the animal that I’d become to live this type of life. She made me smile and laugh. Me. For the first time in twenty-eight-years, I allowed myself to experience normal human emotions instead of suppressing them to embrace the clouds of death I’m usually immersed in.”
The unusual words coming from me seemed to take the sting from Arjen’s anger for a short moment until he regained a deep frown of irritation.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do with her now that you’ve devalued her? She’s pretty much worthless now. Sure, we’ve fucked some of the same hoes and sluts, but we knew they were hoes and sluts, hell, they knew they were hoes and sluts. Desiree was supposed to be the one to help me transition into something better than a fucking slut-chasing, bitch-banging, dick-slinging asshole. I used to see her as respectable, now all I’ll see is the woman who fucked my brother.”
The deep creases of hurt I saw on his face ripped at my insides like jagged saw blades. I was sorry on so many levels but wasn’t sure how to express it to him because I’d never done anything before to cause him to aim his anger at me.
“Although your marriage is an arrangement, it doesn’t stop me from being wrong. I’m an asshole for what I did, and for hurting you. Please accept my apology. I’m sorry, Arjen.” His fiery expression conveyed what I could do with my apology.
A massive amount of guilt for hurting Arjen pressed down on me, giving me an instant headache. However, I couldn’t bring myself to regret what I had experienced with Desiree. She was the only thing in my life that I had ever truly wanted.
Arjen had been talking about changing his womanizing ways for years, and although I believed Desiree could have helped him with the change, I knew she would catch hell doing so. In a way, I had treated Arjen like the other men I didn’t want in her life.
I sagged from the weight of my sorrow and guilt, dragging the heavy emotions along as I approached him and fixed my eyes on his deadly gaze.
“I’m sorry, Arjen. I’m a certified asshole. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”
He shoved me hard, causing me to stumble and bump into the bookshelf. The hard impact caused the heavy books to fall and hit the floor like rolling thunder. A stiff finger was aimed at my face. “Keep your fucking sorry-ass sorry. I don’t want to hear that shit.” He growled so loudly, the vibration from his voice almost scratched a hole in my skin.
Arjen had never aimed that level of anger towards me. His deadly glare was locked tight on mine, his body tensed so tight the protruding veins in his neck had join the one in his forehead.
“The fucking damage is done and can’t be undone. Now, I’m stuck with a bride that has been dirtied up by you. I know you better than anyone. I know what you do to women. You’re the most emotionally unavailable motherfucker I know, yet these stupid-ass women go crazy for your ass, some even having the nerve to approach me to talk you into seeing them again.”
His face pinched as he rolled his shoulders, no doubt fighting to contain his rage. “You fuck them one good time so they’d want to come back. Then, you leave them and never talk to their asses again. I’m hip to your fucking head games, little brother. While everyone thinks you’re this big mystical fucking monster, I know you have male-tripping ego moments like the rest of us.”
He kept his stiff accusing finger aimed at me, his jaw flexing against the anger seeping from his pores and poisoning the air in the room.
“So many times, I have had to sweep away the scraps you left behind because your evil ass didn’t even have the decency to talk to the woman after you had fucked with her head. Now, I’m supposed to marry a woman you’ve fucked, knowing in the back of her mind, she is going to be thinking about you. See, I know the fucking game, because I was the one who taught it to you. It’s a sure fire way to always have a piece of hot ass on standby when and if you want it. Maybe I should sleep with your fiancée, get her ass strung out on my dick, so you know how it feels.”
“Desiree is not that sort of woman. She...” I immediately swallowed the rest of my comment.
“Don’t tell me how she is. It was for me to find out, not you. You…you...motherfucker!”
Bam!
The hard punch connected with my jaw and sent me staggering back and knocking into the desk, causing the heavy wood to grunt and move about a foot from where it sat. My jaw felt like it had been broken in pieces until the pain shot through it and reminded me that it was still connected to my face.
I can’t believe he hit me. The stiff glare I cast his way, cut into him as the force of our rage was set into motion, an invisible cloud of destruction that collided and exploded. The motherfucker had tried to rearrange my face.
The fury that stormed through me was fortified by electricity. Arjen had hit me. He had never hit me before unless it was for a cruel punishment set up by our father. My fists waited, balled at my sides, and when he came with another hard swing, I dodged it and caught him with an uppercut under his chin. He stumbled back, but his face shifted from anger to unfiltered rage.
“I don’t want to fight you, Arjen!” I shouted, pointing at him.
“Too motherfucking late!” He rushed towards me, and I wasn’t quick enough to avoid his attack.
Punch! Uppercut! Spinning Elbow! Slap!
All the licks had connected to a part of my body, from my blocks or him getting through, as I attempted, but failed, to calm him down.
The punch combinations I could take, but the slap made my rage rise beyond my control. It was what our father made us do to each other when we were younger. The slap was the equivalent of him calling me a weak little bitch.
We ran into each other like two rams, keyed up for a knockdown drag out. Fists went flying as our bodies went staggering, and furniture was destroyed as we expelled our anger on each other’s bodies.
Fueled by rage, I didn’t snap back into a semblance of myself until we had been ripped apart from each other. Two of the guards restrained me, and two kept a tight hold on Arjen. Our fuel-soaked anger and heaving breaths filled the space. There was no sense of how long we had been going at it, but the study was destroyed.
Seeing blood drip from his lip and leaking from the cut over his eye conveyed that he had done as much damage to me. I had fucked up in so many ways with Arjen that each heaving breath I now inhaled hurt, sending stabbing pain into my heart. How was I going to fix this? Could it be fixed? We stood glaring at each other, his eyes red and filled with fire.
I didn’t hold back as I allowed the guilt and hurt of my actions to seep out of my eyes. I allowed the burning wetness to ease to the surface. It was the only way he would see how miserable I truly was over what I had done.
Arjen was the only person in the world that had given a damn about me, and I had hurt him in the worst way by betraying his loyalty and his trust in me. I had allowed myself to believe he would take the sting lightly as he was engaged in an arrangement and not a relationship built on a caring foundation. I was wrong.
Were we going to recover from this or had I destroyed my relationship with my brother?
32
Desiree
Tell us how you really feel, Arjen. I refused to listen to anymore. I was no more than a possession to Arjen and
me sticking around would only cause more trouble between the brothers. I didn’t want to be the thing that broke up two brothers who obviously cared deeply for each other.
I knew the risk I was taking while I was feeding my desire for Khane, and the worst part, I wasn’t sorry. Guilt, yes, sorrow, not an ounce. The connection I had with Khane had been that strong. As a matter of fact, it was strong enough that I would rather leave him than to be a constant problem he would face with me around.
Now that the dirty laundry had been aired, it was always going to be difficult for the three of us to be in a room together. I had been wrong to assume that the circumstances surrounding how we had come together would make my affair with Khane easier for Arjen to swallow.
The suffocating darkness appeared to grow thicker as I scooted to the edge of the bed, and closer to the light. As I reached for the lamp, I changed my mind and left the room plunged in darkness. The automatic lights snapped on when I walked into my closet, causing me to shield my eyes from the brightness. I jumped into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt before sliding into my shoes.
I snatched up my purse and slung it over my shoulder before easing from my room and thankfully, found the coast clear. I hadn’t even wasted time packing a bag as the urgent need to get out of the situation had me speed walking to my car.
Arjen and Khane’s loud shouting had threatened to bring the house down and had apparently drew the guards’ attention. They were in the study, but their voices filled the space of the entire house so loudly the intercom may as well have been blaring.
“I don’t want to fight you, Arjen!” Khane shouted.
“Too motherfucking late!” Arjen roared back before another series of thunderous knocks and pounding erupted.
Thankfully, Arjen’s security team was distracted by the arguing brothers, so they hadn’t noticed me slipping past them like a cat burglar.
When I was sure they could no longer see my car, I flipped on my headlights. I had no idea where the hell I was going, but I couldn’t stay and marry Arjen. He was going to punish Khane and me for the rest of our lives. At least with me gone, the brothers were more likely to heal the strong bond they’d shared. I couldn’t stick around knowing that I would always want Khane and couldn’t have him.
Shit! Desiree! You have royally fucked up this time.
If I were more like my cousin, I wouldn’t have cared one bit about the arguing brothers. She would have been right there arguing with them, telling them how this was an arrangement, it didn’t matter who she fucked, and that she would never love either one of them.
Mecca was set to marry Khane, which would seal the deal and strengthen the Vallin-Evans union. Besides, she was way more suited for handling a situation like the one I was running away from.
Thankfully, I had paid enough attention to know I needed to avoid CCTV and traffic cameras as much as possible because their cousin Tywin and someone they had called Rhino appeared to be the family experts in that area.
The Vallins ran the west coast, so I needed to go east, or as far south east as I could get.
A smile crept across my lips. First, I needed to ditch my car. Arjen undoubtedly had it fixed with a way to track me. Denver Union Station wasn’t that far away. I veered off on the next exit and drove off the side of the road.
As much as I loved my new car, I was going to trade it and have an Uber pick me up at a hotel a few miles off the exit. I didn’t need the brothers knowing where I was going. The hundreds of veins of tracks across the country could take me to any place I wanted to go. All I had to do was switch up my train every so often to keep them off my trail.
My phone buzzed for the hundredth time, but this time I answered when I saw that it was Mecca. I placed it on speaker, as I called up my Uber app.
“Where the hell are you, Des? Khane just called me, worried about you being off some place by yourself.”
“I’m…” The bright lights of a car pulling in behind me caused me to turn my head up from my phone and cut my words short.
“I’m more trouble than I’m worth. I’m about to make everyone’s lives easier and disappear.”
“I’m coming to get you. Where are you?” she asked, the stress in her tone made more guilt surface.
My eyes were glued to the man exiting the vehicle behind me. I hadn’t put on my flashers, and the vehicle wasn’t a police car. The man that approached was mountainous like one of the Vallins guards. “Dammit. They’ve found me already.” I was speaking more to myself than to Mecca. “You don’t have to come and get me. Arjen’s men have found me.”
“Thank goodness,” she called into the phone. “Please, don’t do this kind of shit again. If you need to get away, come and stay with me. Promise you’ll call me, Des.”
“I promise. Love you,” I called back into the phone. My eyes had never dropped away from the approaching man. “Love you too,” she responded before clicking off.
I fingered the button that would take down my window as the last few days replayed in my brain. My father was missing or hiding, and men had been spying on Mecca and me while we ate lunch, searching for his Bookkeeper. Men had also tried to take me while I was relaxing at a spa with Patrena. They were men that the Vallins hadn’t identified yet. Men that would likely be staked out searching for me. This man, at a closer view, wasn’t one of the guards I had seen around Arjen’s house.
Big mistake running from men that could protect you. Big mistake telling your cousin that the Vallins had found you. Smart move, you idiot!
Had I made the biggest mistake of my life leaving Arjen’s house, alone?
33
Desiree
Semiconscious, I drifted, the dream world attempting to release me. Where was I? Was I in motion? As far as I could tell, I was on the back seat of a vehicle. There was a big beefy man sitting next to me who had his head thrown back against the seat. He appeared to be sleeping. My head was right at his thick lap, so any sudden movements on my part would disturb him. I made out two shadows in the front seat, mouth-breathers.
I had stupidly handed myself to another dangerous group in my silly attempt to get away from the Vallin brothers. Was this my life now? To be a permanent captive? The most unsettling thing about the situation was I didn’t know if I was being held captive because of something the Vallins had done or something the Evans had done.
The men drove in silence: no chatting, no radio. There was no real sound but the rubber kissing the highway, the roar of the engine, and their heavy breathing. Thankfully, my hands weren’t bound and a sack hadn’t been thrown over my head. I remained still, pretending to be asleep as my gaze found nothing but darkness outside the window. Who were these men, and where were they taking me?
After foolishly rolling my car window down for the approaching man I’d assumed was one of Arjen’s guards, the barrel of a silenced pistol had been shoved in my face. The man proceeded to reach into my window and had snatched my door open. To my dismay, another of his friends was standing on the passenger side of my car, his gun also aimed at my head.
The man had reached in and unstrapped my seatbelt as the man at the passenger side kept me in line with his gun.
After exiting the car, a rag soaked with what must have been chloroform was pressed over my mouth and nose. I had no recollection of how long I had been out. Now, here I was, hours, maybe a day later, being driven to an unknown place.
Memories of the first time I had been kidnapped surfaced. It had never been reported to the cops. It happened a week after my thirteenth birthday. I had been taken from my own bedroom, a sack thrown over my head and tossed onto the dirty metal floor of a van. Fear had consumed me so forcefully, I had pissed myself.
The men that had taken me weren’t enemies, but known associates of my father, wanting a hundred-thousand in cash from him for my return. Instead of cash, my father and his men had traded bullets with the crew. It was by sheer luck that I hadn’t been killed in the hail of bullets being exchanged.
The
decisions my father had made that day to get me back could have gotten me killed, even with the overwhelming number of men he had recruited for the task that had overpowered the three-men holding me for ransom.
Of all the places they could have stashed me, I was tied up in the basement of one of my captor’s grandmother’s house. The grandmother had been the one to call and alert my father of my whereabouts. He had compensated her well for damaging her home as well as for taking the life of her grandson. The woman had happily taken her payment and almost seemed relieved her grandson was dead. From that day forward, I accepted the harsh reality I was being raised in.
I listened and allowed my eyes to roam, searching for anything familiar: sounds, landmarks, and road signs. The stuffy recycled air inside the car indicated that we had been driving for a while.
A few scatterings of light started to pop up, and I kept my eyes peeled for any clues as to where I was. Like a green and white beacon, the headlights caught a large interstate sign across the road. Mexico? Not New Mexico, but we were heading for Mexico. The sign revealed we were fifteen miles from Juarez. How long had I been knocked out?
The men hadn’t harmed me, yet, but the strong sense that danger surrounded me sent currents of electricity through my nerves. The closer we got to our final destination, the faster those currents sped up.
I didn’t believe my father knew anyone in Mexico, so it had to have been one of the Vallin’s enemies. Why take me?
Arjen believed Khane had devalued me, so would he even entertain the idea of finding me now? I believed with all my heart that Khane would come for me, but considering where I was headed, the search could take weeks if not months. This group had managed to transport me over six hundred miles away from where they had taken me?
How was I going to get through whatever I was about to face in whatever part of Mexico I would end up in? Maybe, if I behaved and didn’t give them any trouble, they wouldn’t have a reason to hurt me.
