by Lucy Adams
“If that is the case,” Jeremy snarled, leaning across the desk, “then why has she chosen to engage herself to another? If her love for me is so great, if her willingness to listen to what I have to say about the past is so evident, there where is it now? Why has it gone from her?” He shook his head, his pain turning into angry disappointment. “You have come to try and set about repairing what cannot be fixed,” he finished, with a wave of his hand. “No, I shall not come to speak to her. Eliza has made her own mind up and I will not attempt to alter it in any way.”
Miss Titania and Miss Catherine looked at one another again, a deep sadness in their eyes that Jeremy did his best to ignore. There was nothing for him here and nothing that they said would change his mind on the matter.
“Would that you reconsider,” Miss Titania murmured, reaching across the table and settling one hand on his, as though to comfort him. “Would that you would delve into battle and attempt to do all you could to rescue her from her discontent.”
Jeremy heard the challenge in her words but refused to accept such a thing from her. “I shall do no such thing, Titania,” he said, honestly. “I have every intention of returning to my estate at the earliest opportunity.”
Titania withdrew her hand, just as Catherine shook her head.
“Tomorrow, I think,” he continued, dully. “There is no reason for me to linger in London any longer.” Suddenly the reason for his uncle’s visit, for his insistence that Jeremy forget about the past and no longer allow it to occupy his mind became clear. His uncle knew that Jeremy would have a good deal more to consider now that he knew about Eliza’s engagement to Lord Montrose. What had his uncle expected? Had he thought that Jeremy would continue to pursue Eliza? Had he thought that Jeremy would not stop until he was certain that Eliza knew the truth about Rebecca, in the hope that it might give her reason to cry off from her engagement?
“Can we say nothing to convince you that Eliza still loves you, Lord Avondale?” Miss Catherine asked, her voice pleading with him. “Can we say nothing that would encourage you to reconsider?”
“No,” Jeremy replied, his eyes returning to the paper in front of him. His eyes took in the words again, seeing the darkness that would be his future coming creeping into his mind. “No, there is nothing. I return home tomorrow. Do –” The words stuck in his throat. “Do give Eliza my congratulations.”
Miss Titania Wells and Miss Catherine Wells said nothing to this. Instead, they simply turned and began to make their way back towards the door, their willingness to remain and their desire to encourage him to reconsider no longer present. He had chased all of that away and Jeremy did not feel even a twinge of regret.
“You are making a dreadful mistake, Avondale.”
Miss Titania’s voice drifted back towards him but he did not look up.
“You have lost her once before,” she continued, her words soft but her meaning clear. “Shall you really allow yourself to do so again?”
The words hung in the air for some moments, his mind beginning to scream at him to do as Titania had asked, to listen to Catherine’s pleading and return with them to speak to Eliza, but Jeremy did not move from his chair. The door closed behind his visitors, leaving Jeremy to his own dark thoughts.
“Yes,” he whispered aloud, as though Titania could still hear him respond to her question. “Yes, I shall allow myself to lose all hope of Eliza’s forgiveness and of her return to me.” Shaking his head, Jeremy felt his very soul fill with grief. “She is gone from me forever and there is nothing I can do.”
Chapter Ten
“Eliza?”
Eliza looked up to see her mother enter the drawing room, a gentle smile on her face. Eliza could not bring herself to return it, the pain of what she was currently enduring still much too great.
“You are still distraught, I see.”
Eliza closed her eyes, steeling herself against the tears that sprang to her eyes at once. “Mama, I do not know what to do.”
Her mother sat down quietly. “You are expecting Lord Montrose?”
“Very soon, yes,” Eliza replied, feeling her heart begin to bleed within her all over again. “I do not know what I shall say to him.”
Her mother nodded sympathetically, her eyes lingering on Eliza’s pale face. Eliza continued to study the drawing room door, as if by looking at it, she could prepare herself for her betrothed’s visit.
It had been two days now since Lord Montrose’s shocking announcement that they were already engaged, despite the fact he had not asked her to marry him. She had not known what to say or what to do, finding herself almost in a state of fainting as she had been driven home. Lord Montrose had been filled with mirth at her reaction, telling her shocked mother that Eliza had simply been overwhelmed by some wonderful news which would soon be shared with them all.
It had been left to Eliza thereafter, to tell her mother the truth about what had occurred.
Lady Whitehaven had gone utterly silent as Eliza had recounted the story, seeing her mother’s eyes flashing with anger and frustration. Of course, Eliza knew that her brother would have no concerns in agreeing to Lord Montrose’s request to marry Eliza, for he had no knowledge of the matter and would simply presume that it was a courtesy request. Lady Whitehaven was, however, quite angry that Lord Montrose had not spoken to her of his intentions for Eliza before writing to the papers and had expressed as much to Eliza. She had not, however, been able to express this to Lord Montrose, for he had been conspicuously absent from Eliza’s company these last two days. He was due to call upon her this afternoon, having written a note to her the previous day asking her to forgive his absence and stating that he was caught up with friends and acquaintances who all wished to celebrate with him over the joyous news of his engagement.
“I shall have plenty to say to Lord Montrose,” Lady Whitehaven stated, firmly. “You need not concern yourself in that regard, Eliza. I shall begin the conversation with him and speak quite plainly.”
“But it will not remove me from my engagement,” Eliza replied softly, the truth tearing at her heart. “That is the difficulty I am presented with and, as yet, I confess that I cannot see a way out of my circumstances.”
Lady Whitehaven sighed and looked away, filling Eliza with even more despair.
“Lord Montrose has behaved most improperly,” Lady Whitehaven agreed, after a few moments of silence. “He has presumed that you would accept him and has therefore taken it upon himself to announce your engagement to all of London!” She threw up her hands in exasperation. “And I have had to turn away a good many callers, all wishing to see you and give you their individual congratulations.”
Eliza winced, closing her eyes tightly for a moment. She could not imagine having to accept felicitations for something she wished would not occur. It would be terrible indeed to have to endure such visits, one after the other. “Thank you, Mama,” she said, quietly, clasping her hands tightly in her lap. “You are very kind.”
“It is the very least I can do,” Lady Whitehaven replied, her voice softening. “I must tell you, Eliza, that I think the very best thing for you to do is to simply cry off.”
Startled, Eliza looked at her mother in shock. “Cry off?” she repeated, horrified. “Oh, Mama, I could not do so!”
“Why ever not?” Lady Whitehaven asked, sounding quite matter of fact. “You do not wish to wed Lord Montrose and therefore there is no reason for you to continue with the engagement.”
Eliza shook her head, her fingers tightening together. “Because you know that it would ruin my own reputation – which, of course, I do not particularly care about – but that it would also profoundly affect my sisters and even my brother.” Her heart squeezed painfully, sending a wave of tears to her eyes which Eliza fought back. “I cannot allow such a thing to occur, Mama. It would be entirely selfish.”
“And yet,” Lady Whitehaven said, softly. “I do not think that any of your sisters nor even your cousin would find such a thing too ard
uous to bear.” The corners of her mouth lifted in a faint smile, as though she were trying to encourage Eliza to listen and to consider what she was suggesting. “Even Titania, who is the only one who has loved all that the Season has to offer, is quite determined that you should not marry Lord Montrose.”
A faint smile caught Eliza’s lips, her heart lifting just a little. “That is most kind of her – most generous of them all – but I cannot let them be tainted in such a way.”
“Your sisters also went to speak to Lord Avondale.”
Eliza’s heart stopped in her chest for a moment, shock rippling through her.
“He is broken-hearted, it seems,” Lady Whitehaven continued, as Eliza gripped the edge of her seat in an attempt to control her crashing emotions. “He believes that all is lost and has returned to his estate.”
Eliza closed her eyes, heat searing up her spine as she thought of the last time she had seen Lord Avondale. The way he had kissed her had sent flurries of happiness rushing through her, letting hope spiral from her core. It had been a shock, of course, but by the time she had realized what he was doing and had begun to return his kiss, he had stepped back and apologized for his lack of self-control.
She had not told him just how much she had wanted to return his kiss, how much she had longed to be back in his arms again. Instead, she had returned inside, determined to consider matters – only for Lord Montrose to prevent her from doing so.
“Will you truly pass this opportunity by, Eliza?” Lady Whitehaven asked, softly, her words penetrating into Eliza’s mind. “Lord Avondale is still deeply in love with you, it seems. His desperation to speak to you about what he did some years ago is still apparent and if only you would listen to him, then you might find your way back to the happiness you once had.”
“I wanted to,” Eliza whispered, still battling tears. “I wanted to listen to him, Mama. He spoke to me about Rebecca, told me that there was a good deal more for him to say, and yet I was not quite prepared to take in what he had to say.” She let her hands loose in her lap, forcing steadying breaths into her lungs. “He told me what Lord Montrose had said about Lady Barclay and said that, if I permitted him, he would tell me the truth about Rebecca very soon, once I had taken some time to think about what he had said of Lord Montrose.”
“Very considerate,” Lady Whitehaven commented, quietly.
Eliza nodded. “Very,” she whispered, brokenly, unable to prevent herself from comparing the two gentlemen. “But now he is gone to his estate and I find myself engaged to Lord Montrose! What am I to do, Mama?”
Her mother smiled. “Cry off,” she said, simply. “Your sister wishes it. I wish it. Go to Lord Avondale and find the truth. I know he will not reject you, simply because you have cried off from one engagement. In fact, I think that he will be heartily glad to hear it.”
Eliza battled within herself, knowing that if she were to cry off, then the scandal that would follow could very well affect her sisters’ chances of happiness. They would bear the shame of her broken engagement, for society would look upon the family with disdain, suggesting that she was flighty and unappreciative of what had been given to her. She had no doubt that Lord Montrose would do all he could to garner sympathy from all and sundry, making himself out to be quite the martyr – and she would have to endure the looks and the whispers and the rumors about her that were certain to fly about society almost at once.
But it would be worth it, would it not? For the sake of Lord Avondale, for the sake of what they would be able to have again, then she would endure whatever she required for the hope of returning to his side again.
“Besides, my dear,” Lady Whitehaven finished, with a gentle smile. “His estate borders ours and is so far from London that you need never return should you not wish to.” Her eyes twinkled as Eliza felt the first hints of happiness pull at her heart. “There is hope through all of this, my dear girl. Your sisters wish you to be happy and content and they know that you cannot be so with Lord Montrose. Will you not listen to them? Will you not trust that they know what will follow should you cry off, and that they still wish you to do so?”
Eliza made to answer, just as there came a knock at the door. The butler walked in to reveal Lord Montrose standing just behind him – and Eliza got to her feet at once.
She had not yet decided what she should do, for her mother’s words about her sisters hopes for her had not yet quite taken a hold of either her mind or her heart, but to see Lord Montrose again immediately filled her with a sense of regret and frustration.
Of course, she could not marry him! It was most unpleasant a thought and Eliza knew that her life would not be a happy one if she took him as a husband. It was now simply a matter of finding a way to tell him so without him becoming so cold and furious that he would create a dreadful scene which, Eliza knew, would only add to the gossip that would follow.
“My dear lady!” Lord Montrose exclaimed, bowing before Lady Whitehaven. “I have a good deal I must apologize to you for, I know, but I must hope that the happiness and contentedness of your daughter is enough to make up for my lack of propriety.” His eyes were warm, his expression eager, and still Eliza saw the cold, stern look in her mother’s eyes.
Lady Whitehaven was not enamored with Lord Montrose in any way, it seemed.
“And you, my wonderful lady,” Lord Montrose continued, seemingly either unaware of Lady Whitehaven’s demeanor or choosing to ignore it as he turned towards Eliza. “I have the most wonderful surprise for you.”
Eliza’s heart sank. Given that the last surprise that Lord Montrose had pressed upon her was news of their engagement, she was not at all certain that she wished to receive yet another one from him!
“I have brought my dear mother to call,” Lord Montrose continued, brightly, reaching for Eliza’s hand and pressing it tightly. “She is only just arriving and I thought it best to come and inform you at once, so that you are prepared to greet her.”
Eliza stared at Lord Montrose, her mouth going dry. Her intentions of speaking to Lord Montrose about their engagement and of bringing it to an end suddenly flew from her head, knowing that she could not do such a thing when his own dear mother had arrived!
“I do not think I have spoken of her to you particularly often,” Lord Montrose said, patting Eliza’s hand. “That was wrong of me, of course, but I have been so caught up with all the happiness and joy that our acquaintance has brought me that it was not something that caught my mind! Now, of course, I intend to remedy that mistake and ensure that you become very well acquainted with her.”
Swallowing the sudden lump in her throat and feeling as though a good deal of dust and sand was filling her mouth, Eliza tried to smile but found that her tension was so great that she could not even summon a modicum of supposed happiness. Lord Montrose had managed to find a way to prevent them from speaking openly, it seemed, although whether or not it was intentional, Eliza could not say.
“You did say,” Eliza managed to whisper, “that you would inform me long before your mother was to arrive in town, Lord Montrose.”
He laughed and shrugged, as though this did not have any bearing on his behavior.
“This is most unexpected, Lord Montrose,” Lady Whitehaven said, her voice dangerously soft. “You should, of course, have let both myself and my daughter know before such an arrangement was made.”
Lord Montrose placed his two hands together, as though in prayer, turning towards Eliza’s mother with an apologetic smile on his face. “You are quite correct, Lady Whitehaven, but I knew that Eliza was, of course, eager to meet my dear mother and that you, as a charming and elegant lady of the ton would not refuse such an unexpected meeting! In short, I have taken advantage of your kindness and generosity and hope that you will not refuse her entry to your home.”
Lady Whitehaven’s face was impassive. “It is not as though I could do so, even if I wished, Lord Montrose, given that she is already practically at the door,” she said, coolly, her eyes dar
ting towards Eliza, who felt suddenly trapped within her own house.
“I do thank you, most gracious of ladies,” Lord Montrose said, bowing grandly towards Lady Whitehaven. “Ah, I think I hear her at this very moment!”
Eliza did not know what to do, wanting to dart from the room but finding that her feet were stuck to the floor where she stood. Had it not been for her mother coming to stand by her side, one hand gently on Eliza’s elbow, she might have behaved most rudely and run past Lady Montrose without so much as a word.
“This does not complicate matters in any way, Eliza,” her mother hissed, as Lord Montrose waited expectantly at the door. “Greet Lady Montrose, being as genteel and as elegant as you can. Then, when the time comes, you shall have opportunity to speak to Lord Montrose openly. It may not be this very afternoon but it will be soon, you mark my words.”
Eliza could only nod, her breath quickening as the door opened as a small, grim-faced lady walked into the room. She had an air of importance about her that seemed to radiate towards Eliza, her sharp eyes holding the same coldness that Eliza often found in Lord Montrose’s gaze.
“May I present Lady Montrose?” Lord Montrose said, quickly, a delighted smile on his face as though he were giving Eliza the most wonderful of surprises. “Mother, this is my betrothed, Miss Eliza Wells. May I also present Lady Whitehaven.”
Eliza dropped into a curtsy, feeling herself shaking inwardly. It came from both the shock of what was occurring as well as a slight flicker of anger towards Lord Montrose and his despicable behavior towards her. The more she considered it, the more her ire mounted. What sort of gentleman simply imposed his presence and that of his parent on his betrothed? What person would even consider making such an arrangement without first discussing it with those who would be greeting her? It was evidence of her mother’s continued grace and poise that she had accepted such a turn of events, although her frustration and displeasure had been made obvious to Lord Montrose. Lord Montrose, Eliza thought, was highly arrogant and deeply selfish. He did not seem to care that Lady Whitehaven was rather put out by such inconsideration and certainly did not even consider that Eliza herself would be upset and startled by the swiftness of the meeting.
