by Lucy Adams
Eliza let out a shuddering sigh of relief as Lord Montrose’s face paled, his eyes no longer holding that defiant look. Jeremy let his other hand settle about her waist, pulling her a little closer to him and, much to his delight, she came to him willingly.
“Go, Lord Montrose,” she said, settling against Jeremy’s side. “Our engagement is at an end. You can have nothing more to say.”
With a small smile, Jeremy watched as Lord Montrose stammered as he stumbled back, still trying to find something to say, some excuse to make. The butler appeared out of nowhere, picking up Lord Montrose’s cane and, along with his hat and gloves, handing it to the gentleman. The door was held open for him and, within a few minutes, Lord Montrose was gone from the house.
The door was closed tightly behind him and, as the butler melted away again, silence settled over Jeremy, Eliza, Lady Whitehaven and Titania. Jeremy allowed himself simply to take in what had occurred, feeling the happiness that was settling over his soul as he held Eliza close. His body still ached with pain, his head burning with agony, but it did not take away from the relief and joy that he felt. He had found the man responsible for what had occurred with Rebecca. He had managed to prevent Eliza from marrying Lord Montrose – even though it seemed that she had already had every intention of ending their engagement regardless! The hope of what might now be in his future settled a bright light in his heart; a flame that began to flicker and burn with an ever-increasing strength.
“Goodness,” Lady Whitehaven murmured, one hand pressed against her heart. “That was most unexpected.”
“I am sorry for the trouble, Lady Whitehaven,” Jeremy said at once, releasing Eliza as he turned towards her. “When I discovered the truth, I had no other choice but to return to London.”
Lady Whitehaven frowned. “The truth?”
Titania stepped forward, looping her arm through her mother’s. “I shall explain to Mama,” she said, with a smile in Eliza’s direction. “Eliza, you should ensure that Lord Avondale’s injuries are taken care of.” A small flicker of concern entered her eyes. “Your head looks quite painful, Lord Avondale.”
Eliza turned towards Jeremy and gasped, having evidently been unaware of it thus far. “Good gracious!” she exclaimed, reaching for him. “Of course. At once. Then we shall join you, Mama.”
She did not wait for Lady Whitehaven to accept this but grasped Jeremy’s hand and pulled him in the direction of the small parlor, speaking sharply to a passing maid. Jeremy followed her without hesitation, glad that he would be in her company alone for even a short time. There was so much he wanted to say, so much that he wanted to explain, and now, finally, he was going to be able to do it.
“Just in here,” Eliza said, quickly, gesturing for him to sit down in a chair by the window. “I can have someone light the fire, if you are cold?” Her eyes looked into his anxiously, the door wide open as she waited for the maid to return with what she would need to take care of his injuries. “I am truly sorry for what Lord Montrose did to you, Lord Avondale.”
He shook his head – and then immediately regretted doing so. Wincing, he held up one hand as she rushed towards him, looking more than a little concerned.
“It is nothing,” he lied, trying to smile. “But please, Eliza, I would not have you apologize for something you did not do.” He sighed and reached for her hands, which she gave to him willingly. “There is a good deal of pain between us, is there not?” Holding her gaze, Jeremy saw the way tears immediately began to flood her eyes, feeling his heart grow heavy over what he had done to bring such pain to her heart. “Perhaps now we might find a way to work through what has happened, both now and in the past. I have so much I want to tell you, Eliza, if only you would be willing to listen to me.”
Her hand tugged from his and, for a moment, Jeremy feared that she would pull away from him for good, only for her to raise it gently and rest it against the side of his face, her fingers soft. A thrill ran through him at her touch, the promise it bore bringing a flood of relief and joy to his heart.
“I would be glad to listen to you, Avondale,” Eliza replied softly, looking deeply into his eyes as a single tear tracked down her cheek. “Tell me everything and I shall listen without interruption.”
Jeremy smiled and was about to speak – only for the maid to hurry in with a bowl of steaming water and some rags.
Eliza’s eyes twinkled at him. “Although mayhap I should attend to your injuries first,” she said, laughing softly. “And then, you may speak as freely as you wish.”
Jeremy sighed but nodded, a smile playing about his mouth. “I think I can wait a few more minutes,” he said, begrudgingly. “Just do not leave my side.”
Eliza’s voice was soft, her eyes tender. “Never,” she said, softly. “Never again.”
* * *
Half an hour later, Jeremy found himself holding Eliza’s hands tightly as he began to speak of that terrible day that his uncle had sought him out. Pain lanced his heart as he told her of what his uncle had said, of how he had begged him to help maintain the family’s good name and reputation.
Eliza’s eyes were flickering with both pain and understanding, her fingers tightening on his.
“Of course you agreed,” she said, eventually, as he paused for breath. “Your poor cousin. I cannot imagine what she must have endured, knowing that the man responsible for her plight had turned away from her completely.”
Jeremy shook his head, his throat working. “You cannot know of the pain that came with having to separate myself from you,” he said, hoarsely. “To know that I must leave you, that I must never again allow myself to think of you with the deep and abiding love that still lingers in my heart – it was agony, Eliza.” Looking away from her, he attempted to regain control over his emotions as he remembered that day. “I had to treat you in a way that I did not wish to,” he finished, quietly. “I could not tell you of what had occurred, for I had promised my uncle and Rebecca that I would not do so.”
Eliza reached out and let one hand run down his cheek, forcing Jeremy to close his eyes at her touch.
“I understand,” she said, simply, allowing her honesty to shine through. “I will not pretend that I was not in deep torment over the loss of you, nor that I did not feel anger and pain over what you chose to do, but now that you have been able to tell me the truth, I can see why you had to do such a thing.”
“Your forgiveness is so easily given,” he whispered, barely able to trust his voice as he continued to look away from her. “I do not think I deserve it, Eliza. Not when you have been so badly injured by my actions.”
“But you had no choice,” Eliza quickly replied. “I can see that now and I do not hold it against you, my love.”
Her words of affection tore at his heart, forcing a ragged gasp from his lips. Hope surged within him as he looked at her, seeing the light shining in her eyes and feeling himself almost overwhelmed by it.
“My heart never stopped thinking of you,” he said truthfully. “I felt such guilt at times, knowing that I was meant to be thinking only of Rebecca and yet longing for what I could not have, what could never be.” His head dropped, his heart pounding with the vast array of emotions that washed over him. “She died in childbirth, Eliza. She was lost to me that day, she and the child with her. I mourned her. I mourned her because of what she had endured, of what she had struggled with.” Slowly, his head lifted and he took her gaze again, seeing the compassion and care within. “I was never able to reach her, Eliza. She never once told me what pain she was in, never once trusted me enough to confess the name of the gentleman responsible. Instead, she lived quietly, as though I was not a part of her life.”
“But that was not your doing,” Eliza replied, softly, her hands settling on his again. “You did your duty, Avondale. You gave her a home, saved her reputation and gave her as much consideration as you could.” Her smile was sad. “I know you to be a gentleman of good character. I know you have a kind heart.” Her hand lifted to pr
ess lightly against his chest. “Despite the agony I endured, despite the suffering and the torment that came with not knowing why you had done such a thing, now that I understand, I can see a light shining through the clouds of discontent. That light of understanding is pushing the sadness and the pain away, Avondale, until all I can see…..is you.”
She had leaned closer to him now and Jeremy felt his heart reaching for her, the desperate longing that he had held onto for so many years, beginning to yearn for her with such an intensity that he struggled to contain his passion.
“I can hardly believe,” he whispered, one hand reaching for her cheek and allowing his fingers to brush down her soft skin before twining into a few tendrils of her dark hair that had escaped from her coiffure. “I can hardly believe, Eliza, that you have accepted all that I have said with such understanding and forgiveness that the past is already swept away.” He shook his head, looking deeply into her emerald eyes and finding himself overwhelmed with the abiding love he had for her. “You are everything to me, Eliza. I cannot quite accept that I have this opportunity again.”
Eliza smiled at him softly, her own expression both delighted and sorrowful in equal measure. Sorrow for what had gone before, sadness for what Rebecca had endured by the hands of Lord Montrose and pain for the chasm that had opened up between herself and Jeremy for so long. And yet, there was that joy, that happiness that spoke of love and contentment and a hope for the future. It grew steadily within his own heart as he let his fingers brush the back of her neck, his other hand holding her hand tightly.
“Eliza,” he whispered, unable to say any more as his head began to lower, his eyes closing tightly as all that he had hoped for began to reach fulfilment.
He had forced himself to be every inch the gentleman, forcing his passions and longings aside until the proper time – but now he could restrain himself no longer. Her lips were soft, yielding to his kisses with an earnestness that took his breath away. Her hands reached up around his neck, sending tremors though him as she rifled her fingers through his hair. In that moment, their hearts beat as one.
“Eliza!”
Jeremy started violently and felt Eliza’s hands drop from around his neck. A deep flush began to creep up his neck as he saw Eliza turn her head, wincing inwardly that he had been discovered at such an inopportune moment.
“Well,” said the voice. “I shall have to speak to Lady Whitehaven about this.”
Looking at Dinah, Eliza’s cousin, and seeing her indignation as well as the two spots of color that had appeared in her cheeks, Jeremy found that he could not quite contain the sudden, strange mirth that begun to fill his chest. As Dinah continued to glare at him, her frustration and upset growing all the more upon seeing his poor attempts to hide his smile, Jeremy gave himself up to the sheer joy that filled his chest. Laughing aloud, he saw Eliza’s startled look, only for her own eyes to begin to twinkle, a smile pulling her lips upward.
“Indeed, Miss Shepherd,” he said, rising to his feet and pulling Eliza up with him. “You shall indeed have to speak to Lady Whitehaven about what you have seen, for I do not think that I can allow Eliza to escape from my embrace for another moment.”
Eliza laughed and shook her head at him teasingly. “You need not fear, Lord Avondale,” she replied, as Dinah tossed her head and stormed from the room. “I have no intention of being separated from you again.” Her smile softened and she settled one hand on his chest again, looking up into his eyes. “Not after we have been parted for so long. I do not think I could bear it.”
“Nor could I,” he promised, before lowering his head to capture her lips with his once more.
Epilogue
“Might I ask whether or not you would wish to walk with me for a time, Eliza?”
Eliza looked up from her needlework, a smile brightening her face as she saw Lord Avondale walk into the room.
“Avondale,” she said fondly, setting her needlework aside at once and getting to her feet. “How good to see you. Yes, indeed, I should very much enjoy walking with you.” She held his gaze for a long moment, seeing the warm smile and finding such a joy within her heart that she felt as though it might explode from her very being and fill the room.
Behind her, a slight cough pulled her from her raptures.
“Yes, Catherine, you may inform Mama where I have gone,” she said, turning around to see her sister’s arched brow. “I shall not be long.”
Catherine nodded, although Eliza detected the slight smile that her sister was doing her best to hide. Ever since their return from town a sennight ago, her sisters had been in earnest anticipation as to what might occur between Eliza and Lord Avondale. Nothing, as yet, had been said by Lord Avondale, but Eliza was quite certain that, in time, a proposal would be made. A proposal which, of course, she had every intention of accepting. For the moment, they were simply reacquainting themselves with each other, although Eliza’s mother had insisted that propriety should be maintained at all times.
That being said, Eliza had very little intention of allowing her sister to accompany her on her short walk with Lord Avondale that afternoon!
“I shall inform her,” Catherine replied, nodding to Lord Avondale before returning her gaze to her book.
“I shall be but a moment,” Eliza said, pressing Lord Avondale’s arm. “Will you wait for me?”
He smiled at her. “Always.”
* * *
The folly had always been their chosen place of meeting. However, walking through it now, as delightful as it was with the bird song and the sunshine filtering down through the leaves of the surrounding trees, Eliza felt herself grow a little regretful.
“It holds both happiness and sadness, does it not?” Lord Avondale said, as though he could read her mind. “The last time I was here with you does not bear thinking about, and yet consider it, I must.”
She looked at him, seeing the swift sadness leap into his blue eyes, the way his jaw set and how he turned his face away.
“But we are not to linger on the past,” she reminded him, as they walked arm in arm. “I would not have you walk here with me and dwell on what might have been. It is done. You did what you had to and I have held nothing against you now that I understand.” She pressed his arm and leaned into him for a moment, his steps slowing. “Let us think of happier memories, Lord Avondale.”
He smiled at her then, turning to face her so that he might take both of her hands in his. “I would have us think of only the happiest things in this place,” he replied, confusing her a little. “I must consider what occurred in the folly the last time I was walking with you and, in considering it, I find myself desperate to wash such memories away with a moment of such joy that our past troubles fade to nothing.”
Eliza felt her heart quicken at the look in his eyes, her hands tight in his.
“You must know how deeply I love you, Eliza,” Lord Avondale said, gently, letting go of her hand to tuck a stray curl back behind her ear. At his touch, Eliza felt herself tremble violently, her eyes closing for a moment.
“You can see what your touch does to me, Avondale,” she whispered, opening her eyes to look up at him. “I have such a love for you that it seems to pervade my very soul.”
His smile was tender. “Even when I thought myself lost to you forever, Eliza, my heart remained yours,” he said, taking a step closer so that his breath brushed across her cheek. “I cannot imagine being a day apart from you.”
“Nor I from you,” she whispered, her every sense coming alive with hope and anticipation.
“Even though my estate borders your brother’s, I find myself in agony having to leave your side each day,” Lord Avondale continued, his other hand now letting hers go so that it might settle at her waist. “There is nothing for me at my own home, for it feels empty. I am bereft without you, be it only for a few hours.” Pressing his lips together, Lord Avondale looked upwards at the sky for a moment, as if he needed to collect his thoughts. “I would not continue like this
, Eliza.”
His eyes slowly returned to hers and Eliza caught her breath at the intensity of his gaze.
“You are my very life,” she whispered, feeling tears starting in her eyes, her throat aching suddenly. “Surely you know, Avondale, that I have always longed to be yours?”
He kissed her then, fiercely, taking her breath from her chest. Her arms wrapped around his neck as he pulled her tight against him, his lips seeking hers with a desperation that she had never felt from him before. She returned his kiss with all the passion that she felt, a single tear escaping from her closed eyes and running down her cheek.
Lord Avondale’s mouth lifted from hers and he kissed her cheek instead, taking the moisture of her tears away.
“Do not cry, Eliza,” he whispered, his forehead resting gently against her own. “No more tears of sadness, my love. You know what I desire and I can only pray that you desire it also.”
She swallowed hard and looked into his eyes. “Ask me, Avondale.”
Lord Avondale closed his eyes tightly, drew in a breath and set himself back from her just a little.
His hand took hers and he pressed it gently. “My dear, sweet Eliza,” he said, in a voice that was hoarse and cracked with emotion. “Will you be my wife? Will you marry me?”
Eliza’s tears came anew, rushing down her cheeks as she smiled up into his eyes, her heart filled with such joy that she could barely contain it.
“I will,” she whispered, as he brushed her tears away gently. “Oh, Avondale, you know that I will.”
He pulled her into his arms again, holding her tightly against him. Eliza buried her head into his shoulder, light seeming to sparkle around them both. This was truly the most wonderful moment of her life. Finally, she was to be the wife of the only man she had ever loved.
“You have made me the happiest man in all of England, Eliza,” Lord Avondale whispered, lifting his head so that he might look into her eyes again. “I swear to you that I will love you every moment of my life. Not a day shall go by where I do not make you aware of just how precious you are to me.”
