by PJ Fernor
“Sounds fun,” I said. “Sounds like something I would do. But I’m sure now with technology and phones, there’s games where you do it there. Right?”
“How true,” Dr. Jerry said. “Such a shame sometimes.”
“I’m not sure talking about throwing pumpkins around is smart right now,” Lo said. “Right, Allie?”
She smirked and I nodded.
“Good point,” I said. “Ready to go?”
“Mind if we chat for a minute?” Dr. Jerry asked me.
His smile was worth two million dollars. And his eyes were as inviting as a warm house on a cold night.
I caught myself almost moving to my toes when he spoke right at me.
“Sure,” I said.
“I’ll go wait in the car,” Lo said.
Lo slipped by me and Dr. Jerry laughed and shook his head.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“That’s all relative, right?”
“Sure.”
“Lo mentioned what’s been going on in town,” Dr. Jerry said. “The murder…”
“Okay,” I said. “I’m working on the case. I can’t talk about it.”
“Of course not,” Dr. Jerry said. “I wouldn’t ask. She also expressed some worries about your job. That you were attacked. Shot at.”
“That’s just part of the job,” I said.
“You’re the only person Lo has left,” Dr. Jerry said.
I thought about coming back at him but paused.
He was right.
I already knew that though.
When I came back to Sandemor, I tried to connect with old friends. There was the occasional lunch, a call or text, but nothing more than that. And even when I joined them for lunch, it was usually shortened because of a call.
Lo had nobody but me.
I had nobody but…
“It’s not a bad thing,” Dr. Jerry said. “I would suggest to think about extra help.”
“We have Miss Kesslier.”
“Your neighbor. Right.”
“Look, I know she’s worried about my job. Nine out of ten times, things are fine. The one other time, sure, it can get dangerous…”
“We only have one life, Allie,” Dr. Jerry said with a soothing smile.
“I know that too.”
“I’m not telling you to quit your job,” he said. “I’m actually not sure what I’m telling you. Maybe I’m trying to thank you. For putting your life on the line. For what you do. It’s impressive. And behind that anxiety Lo has for your job, she’s proud of you. She feels safe with you. That says a lot.”
“I agree, it does,” I said. “That means a lot to me.”
“I gave her some exercises to do. Not the physical kind…”
Dr. Jerry pretended to run in place.
It was cringeworthy and he was kind of dorky for doing it, but it made me laugh.
He froze in mid run. “I gave her some mental exercises to do.” He went back to a standing position. “I told her to start writing. I want her to write anything and everything. But I need you to not snoop.”
“Did she say I snoop?” I asked.
“No,” Dr. Jerry said with a laugh. “But I know how these things go. What I want her to do is get everything written out. On her terms. Her way. I want her to then decide what to do with it. Show it to you. Show it to me. Throw it out. The goal is to just get it out in the open.”
“Okay,” I said. “That makes sense.”
Dr. Jerry moved toward me.
I caught myself almost gasping for a breath.
I was flustered by the man.
He walked to a chair in the waiting area and sat down.
He pointed to the chairs so I slowly sat.
“Now for you…”
“Ut-oh,” I said.
Trying to flirt again, Allie?
“Have you addressed everything?”
“Such as?”
“Everything I talk to Lo about is the same you’re going through. And have gone through. Think about it.”
“I know that. My concern is Lo.”
“Her concern is you. There’s a balance there, Allie.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry you lost your sister. I’m sorry you gave up your dream job to come back here.”
“I didn’t…”
Dr. Jerry smiled.
I stopped and nodded. “Fine.”
“Lo knows all of this,” Dr. Jerry said. “She worries about it.”
“So what can I do?”
“Talk about it,” he said. “Don’t hide anything. That’ll keep the pressure off her. Right now, she fears if she doesn’t do something great in life, you’ll end up resenting her.”
“That will never happen,” I said.
Dr. Jerry leaned forward and folded his hands. His tie dangled in the air.
“Tell her that,” he said. “You two need to keep the communication open. Always.”
“Understood.”
“Now, I have to take off the tie and cross the line again.”
“What?” I asked.
Dr. Jerry stood up and literally took his tie off.
I slowly rose up, smiling as he rolled up the tie and threw it toward the desk.
It hit the floor.
“I guess sports was never my thing,” he said. “But… can I buy you dinner?”
“Dinner?”
“Yes. You. Me. Dinner. Casual.”
“A date?”
“Yeah,” Dr. Jerry said. “I would like to ask you out on a date.”
I was speechless.
For way too long.
“Oh, wow,” Dr. Jerry said. “I didn’t expect this. I figured you’d have rattled off ten excuses by now.”
“No,” I said. “I mean, wait. Just… wait. I’m not sure how to answer that. I’m busy with this case. With Lo. Lo is a patient of yours. It’s just…”
“Of course,” he said. “It’s a lot to think about. But you didn’t say no. So that means…”
He put his hands out and started cutting them back and forth.
“You’re going to have to work on your dance moves first,” I said.
“Deal,” he said.
Dr. Jerry moved by me and opened the office door.
He smelled as good as he looked.
There, I said it and that’s that.
I stepped out of the building and looked back at him.
“Think about it,” he said. “Sometimes I’m too up front. We all have our flaws, right?”
“That we do,” I said. “I will think about it. I promise.”
“Perfect.”
He offered one more handsome smile and then the door shut.
I heard the lock engage and I walked to the car, almost feeling floaty.
I got into the car and looked at Lo.
“Are you blushing?” Lo asked.
“What?” I yelled. “No. Not a chance. No.”
I guess I kind of was.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
After dinner, I knew it was time to sit down with Lo and talk about Trevor. Last thing I wanted was for her to find out from someone else. Rumors at school. Some bully girl. A friend. Or even Trevor himself.
I had no idea how Trevor would explain what was going on.
He could be honest, which was maybe the scariest part. I wasn’t sure which part of honest was the truth for him.
I made two cups of tea and I walked to Lo’s door.
I knocked with my foot.
She opened the door, looked at the cups of tea, and she cringed.
“Ut-oh,” she said.
“Lo…”
“What did I do now?”
“Nothing,” I said.
“So you’re bringing me tea…”
“We need to talk.”
“There it is.”
“No. We just need to talk.”
“We could have talked in the car. We could have talked while you were making dinner. We could have talked while we were
eating dinner.”
“Lo, please.”
She stepped back and I entered her room.
She was always clean and organized.
A trait she got from her mother.
Alex always had things in order and planned out.
Me?
Not so much.
I was the type to have a laundry basket for dirty clothes and then a second one for the clean clothes I washed last week but never put away.
Alex hated it.
And I wished more than anything she was alive to come yell at me about the mess of clothes in my room. And to see how organized Lo was.
I handed Lo a cup of tea and I then slid her computer chair out from behind her desk.
She crossed her legs and sat in the middle of her bed.
She had notebooks and books all around her.
Plus her phone and a small Bluetooth speaker.
“Any good music?” I asked.
“Nothing you’d like.”
“Try me. Throw something on.”
“No,” Lo said.
“Okay. Fine. I’m not as lame as you think I am.”
“I never said you were lame. What’s going on here?”
“I wanted to talk about some stuff happening,” I said. “So you hear it right.”
“Okay…”
“There was someone found up on the ridge near the fire road,” I said. “She was…”
“Murdered.”
“Yes. I’m working on the case. You know that already. What you don’t know - yet - is that near the victim there was a bracelet found. Lo, it was…”
“What?” Lo asked.
“It was Trevor’s bracelet.”
“What?” she asked again, louder.
I nodded. “It’s the only piece of evidence we have.”
Lo put her cup of tea down and jumped off of the bed. “Did you come in here to tell me Trevor killed someone?”
“No. I came in here to tell you that he’s being questioned about the bracelet. He has a past…”
“You can’t judge him for that.”
“Lo, yes we can. He’s still serving community service time for what he did not too long ago.”
“Oh, come on,” Lo said. “He broke into a car. Oh well.”
“Lo…”
“No,” she said. Her voice cracked. “No…”
I put my tea down and stood up. “I wanted to be honest with you. We questioned him.”
“And?”
“He denies it.”
“He didn’t do it.”
“I believe him,” I said.
“Then why does it matter?”
“Evidence,” I said.
“So find more!” Lo yelled at me.
“I’m working on it,” I said. “Believe me, I am. I didn’t want you to find out from someone else and hear the wrong story or get confused. This is very serious, Lo. His mother is…”
“She’s a horrible person,” Lo said. “I told you he doesn’t come from a good home. He means well with everything he does. There is no way he…”
Lo exhaled and looked ready to cry.
I stepped toward her and she shook her head.
“I’m calling Steph,” she said. “Can you leave my room?”
My heart crushed.
But I respected her wishes.
I took my cup of tea off the desk and walked to the door.
“I’m really sorry, Lo,” I said. “You’re doing so well right now. I don’t want this to set you back. I’m going to find the truth, no matter what it is. I always do. I just wanted you to know what was going on.”
She nodded. “And you’re sure?”
“I found the bracelet myself,” I said. “Your name was on it.”
Lo shut her eyes.
She fell toward her bed and grabbed her phone.
I exited her room and swallowed a big lump down my throat.
I took two steps and Lo opened the door.
“Allie,” she said.
I looked back. “Yeah?”
“Do you really believe him?”
“I do, Lo,” I said. “I really do. I don’t think he’s capable of it. I don’t think he did it. The problem is the evidence. And that his mother doesn’t care about him. And…”
“And, what?” Lo asked.
“Nothing.”
“No. Tell me. And, what?”
I turned and put my back to the wall in the hallway.
“I watched him being interviewed,” I said. “I have to be careful with this case, Lo. I’m too close as it is. But as I watched him talk… he wasn’t telling the truth.”
“Meaning?”
“He’s hiding something, Lo. I don’t know what it is. But there’s something about his story that doesn’t add up. I shouldn’t even be saying this to you. I just… it’s just hard. And unfair. Part of me wishes you fell in love with someone…”
“Else? Better? Smarter? What?”
“No, Lo. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“But you meant it,” she said. “Fine. Trevor is a bad guy. Oh well. I love him. He loves me. And if you think for a second I would be anywhere near someone who could kill another person, then you don’t know me, Allie.”
She slammed the door.
“Lo!” I yelled.
I took a step and paused.
I sighed.
She was hurt.
Me chasing her down would only make it worse.
At least now she had someone to turn to.
I wasn’t sure what Steph would do or say, but at least it was a friend.
I stood in the hallway alone and thought about myself.
Who did I have?
I was the one who looked up Leah and got to see her, Emilia, and Dana again. But it was never something serious. We were never going to be close like we were back in high school. That was my fault. Just like with Ben. I wanted him close, yet I wanted a wall between us.
I turned and walked to the kitchen.
I dumped the tea down the drain and shook my head.
I needed a much stiffer drink.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
I decided to skip the drink.
I grabbed my keys and ran to the door.
I stopped and looked back down the hallway.
I couldn’t just leave Lo alone.
Right?
I moved from the door down the hallway to her bedroom and knocked.
“Lo, I need to go somewhere,” I called out.
That was enough to get her to unlock the door for me.
She opened the door two inches.
She was upset.
Hurt. Confused.
“Did you talk to Steph?” I asked.
“Texting her now,” she said.
“I’m going to go for a ride,” I said. “I have to go see Ben for something.”
“Okay.”
“I’m going to trust you here. Miss Kesslier won’t be waiting in the dining room. Okay?”
“Sure.”
“Lo…”
“I have to go,” she said. “Steph just texted me.”
The door shut and the locked engaged again.
I took a deep breath and that was the best I could do.
I left the apartment and called Miss Kesslier as I drove to Ben’s. I told her I had to check up on something about the murder case and Lo was safe in her room, with the door locked. Just calling to give her a heads up in case something happened.
Miss Kesslier had no problem with it.
She was so important to us.
It was amazing how things sometimes happened.
Of all the apartments in Sandemor to get, I got the one with Miss Kesslier next door. I really had no idea how things would have been going without her.
The same for Ben too.
While he wasn’t our neighbor, I couldn’t imagine not seeing him every day. I knew what capacity I wanted it to be but just couldn’t show it all the way.
Tonight was the start.
&
nbsp; He said he would always be there for me, right?
So this was it then.
I needed him.
I needed to hear his voice. His words. I needed a hug.
I needed a kiss, too.
Okay?
Was that so wrong?
It wasn’t wrong.
Nothing with Ben was ever wrong.
Then, or now.
Things back in high school should have been different between us. He was always willing and able, ready to walk through fire for me. All the while Tommy was off getting stoned, trying to kiss some other girl.
How stupid could you have been, Allie?
I had been just about as stupid as Lo was going to end up being when it came to Trevor.
That was for sure.
I just needed to prove the kid’s innocence and then go back to just dealing with teenage romance.
The word romance made me cringe.
The word romance floated through my head all the way up until I parked outside Ben’s house.
That’s when my mind went blank.
There was no reason for it.
I knew just why I was there.
I got out of my car and walked to the door and rang the doorbell.
It was only then did I realize I hadn’t looked at myself in the mirror.
I touched my hair and the door opened.
Ben stood there with messy hair and casual clothes.
Ben…
I smiled.
My heart warmed over.
“Hey,” I said.
“Allie Down,” he said.
“I needed to talk to you.”
“You drove all the way over here to talk?”
“Yeah. No calls. I wanted to see you. To talk to you. What happened with Trevor…”
“Oh, Allie,” Ben said.
I lifted my right hand. “Just let me say everything I came to say. I’m sorry for the way I acted, Ben. You, Laura, even Garrison know I’m too close to this one. I’m not going to take myself off the case. And if Laura tries, I’ll keep working it. I don’t care. She knows that too. I just can’t imagine that kid killing Nikki. In a greedy way, I can’t stop thinking about what it would do to Lo. And I snapped at you.”
“We were both heated over it,” Ben said. “I didn’t like the position I was in.”
“It’s more than that, Ben. I can’t just walk in circles with this. What we have between us is just-”
“Is everything okay, Ben?”
It wasn’t his father’s voice.
