by PJ Fernor
“I’m here,” I said. “Driving myself a little crazy.”
“You drive me crazy,” he said. “When I think about you, I just-”
“What did you call me for?” I asked.
“I can’t just call to flirt?”
“No.”
“I can’t just call to make you smile?”
“Who said I’m smiling?” I asked.
“I can hear you smiling through the phone,” Johnny said.
“How can you hear a smile?” I asked.
I was smiling.
“Your voice gets a little louder because your mouth is open a little bit more,” he said.
I felt color hit my cheeks.
“Interesting,” I said.
“Well, not to put a damper on this conversation, Allie, but I have something interesting for you.”
“Let’s hear it.”
“Your girl. Chelsea?”
“Yeah. The one Ben and I talked to. She was close with Nikki.”
“She’s even closer now,” Ben said.
“What?”
“Chelsea was found dead early this morning,” Johnny said.
My heart sank. “Dead…?”
“Needle in her arm,” he said. “I’m sorry. I know you tried to help her. I know she had information you wanted.”
I shut my eyes. “Johnny, I have to go.”
“Hey, don’t hang up,” he said. “Don’t be alone right now. Let me be here for you, Allie.”
“Okay,” I said. “I’m just… thinking…”
“I know you are,” he said. “You always think.”
Johnny kept talking. Saying the right things and the wrong things.
I just stared forward.
Annie was dead.
Chelsea was dead.
Coincidence?
It felt like everyone I talked to in this case ended up dead…
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Ben knocked on the partially open office door.
I hurried to stand up. “How’s your father?”
“He’s good now,” he said. “He was just out of it for a bit. They had to basically sedate him. I hate seeing that happen. It’s like he’s trying so hard to be there but he’s just not. He gets himself lost in a different time and place and can’t escape it.”
Did you tell Sandra all this too?
I felt horrible for thinking that.
Ben’s father had been having a really tough couple days.
“I’m really sorry,” I said.
“Nothing you can do about it.” He stepped into my office. “What’s going on here? I need a distraction.”
“Yeah, well, this is getting pretty bad.”
“Why?”
“Chelsea is dead.”
“What?” Ben asked.
I nodded. “She overdosed. She was found with a needle in her arm. I found out she had skipped town on a bus after talking to us. There’s something happening down there with those girls. I’m getting a vibe that it’s not just broken girls or whatever anyone wants to call them.”
“What are you thinking?” Ben asked.
“Not fully sure yet. But it gets worse. Annie… the woman who called to say a little girl was in her basement?”
“Don’t say it.”
“She’s dead too.”
“Allie…”
“I know,” I said. “She was found in bed. Either heart attack or overdose. She had all of her medication next to her. Not quite the same as Chelsea.”
“But it sure feels that way…”
My phone started to ring.
It was Dr. Jerry calling.
Which was a pleasant surprise.
“Uh, Ben, I have to take this,” I said. “Privately.”
“Sure,” he said.
He exited my office.
I felt guilty for that too.
Not that it was any of his business to hear my personal calls.
And, honestly, he was dating someone. He had Sandra to talk to. To vent to. She was there for him in regard to his father in a way nobody else probably could have been.
I had to take ownership of everything that happened - and didn’t happen - between Ben and I.
I failed to make a move. I failed to follow through on plans.
The situation that day with Johnny…
The day I killed Patrick.
I let everything hit me at once and I ended up kissing Johnny right in front of Ben.
Ben was a good guy. He deserved to be happy and be with someone.
I blinked fast and hurried to accept Dr. Jerry’s call before he hung up.
“Detective Allie Down,” I said in a fake, deep voice.
Again, flirting was not my strong suit.
“Oh, I feel like I’m in trouble,” he said.
“You’re supposed to say your name back to me.”
“Oh, right.” He cleared his throat. “This is Dr. Jerry James Winston.”
“Is that your full name?” I asked.
“That it is,” he said. “Why do you ask? Am I being vetted?”
“I have to make sure I’m having drinks with a sane person,” I said.
“Well, I’m not sure any of us are sane, Allie,” he said.
“True. But still… what if you’re crazy?”
“Better yet,” Dr. Jerry said. “What if you’re crazy?”
I laughed. “It’s good to hear from you. Everything okay? Is Lo okay?”
“This is a personal call,” he said. “Which by the way, this is not something I’ve ever done before. I’m riding a thin, ethical line here talking to you like this.”
“I am in law enforcement,” I said. “I can bend the rules. Only for you.”
“I like you already,” he said. “I just wanted to call and make sure things were okay for our plans. If anything needs to change or you change your mind…”
I caught myself looking though the glass window to Ben’s office.
He stared at his phone with a smile on his face.
A text from Sandra maybe?
“We’re fine,” I said. “Everything is fine.”
“Good,” he said. “I could use a break. Things have been monotonous around here.”
“No exciting adventures for the doctor?” I asked.
“I wish,” he said. “It’s clients and then going to my apartment for a glass of wine and to review files from the day. Over and over.”
“Sounds like you’re dedicated to your job.”
“Just like you are, I bet,” he said.
“Well, I guess we have a lot in common here, don’t we?”
“I guess we do. I like talking to you on the phone. Want to do this all day?”
“Sadly, I can’t. I have bad people to arrest.”
“What about me?” Dr. Jerry asked. “Am I a bad person?”
“We’ll find out, I’m sure,” I said.
“You can arrest good people too, right?”
I let out a silent breath.
He was flirting with me over the phone. I was feeling flustered. Ready to start blushing.
“I better get going,” I said.
Why? Why, Allie, why?
“Have a hot lead to chase down?” he asked.
“Something like that,” I said. “Talk soon?”
“I hope so,” he said. “Oh, look, more files to review.”
“You love your job,” I said. “And you’re good at it. What you’ve done with Lo…”
“We,” he said. “It’s not just me. You’re there too.”
“Thank you for that.”
“Goodbye, Detective Allie Down,” he said.
“Goodbye… I forget the name,” I said and laughed.
“Dr. Jerry James Winston hanging up now,” he said.
I put my phone down on my desk and walked to Ben’s office.
I knocked and he looked up at me. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Sorry. Um, back to the case here…”
“It’s connected,” he sa
id. “Right? Nikki’s death. Chelsea’s death. The girl in that basement. The owner of the house now dead. It’s all connected.”
“Yeah, it is,” I said. “And there’s no way that Trevor could have done all of that. Not a chance, Ben.”
“I know,” he said.
“But just saying it, isn’t going to be good enough to clear his name,” I said.
“Nope. Not even close.”
I sighed. “We need something here, Ben. A lead. Some evidence. Something.”
“Agreed.”
We stared at each other in silence.
I wanted so badly to know what he was thinking.
Because my brain was cut down the middle.
Thinking about who could have killed Nikki…
… and why Ben and I weren’t together.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Sandemor was nothing like the city with a place for a drink every ten steps. There were no tiny restaurants or a hole in the wall hidden kind of place to just stop at and sit in the dim light for a bite to eat or just a drink to chase away the thoughts of the day.
I had to program the bar into my phone to find it.
That came after rushing around the station most of the day, chasing leads and dead ends, stuck between Ben and Johnny, all the while my mind was desperate to make sure Trevor didn’t take the fall for what happened to Nikki.
Unless, of course, he actually was guilty.
By the time I made it back to the apartment and ordered something to eat for Lo, checked in with Miss Kesslier, and got myself changed, I was already late. I should have been meeting Dr. Jerry - Jerry, as he insisted via text to call him - but instead I was trying to find my keys.
The keys that were already in my hand.
I opened Lo’s bedroom door and she smiled at me.
“It’s not a date,” I said.
“Sure,” she said. “I still think it’s a little weird. You better not tell him anything about me.”
“Oh, I’m telling him everything,” I said. “All the dirty diaper stories. Times when you used to wet the bed. Everything.”
“Allie,” Lo said.
“Stop it. I’m meeting him for a drink. It’s two adults having a drink.”
“Sure,” she said again.
I wasn’t in the position to argue what was or wasn’t a date.
The guy was Lo’s therapist.
I had to make sure that was number one, even if his good looks and charm threatened that spot.
I went from rushing around the apartment to rushing to meet up with Jerry.
I was twenty minutes late as I opened the heavy door to a corner bar just outside of Sandemor.
It was the kind of place that didn’t need its name in bright lights.
It was cozy and inviting.
For a second I thought I was back in the city.
I shivered for a second at the change in temperature from the ever-getting-colder fall air to the warmth of the bar.
Murmurs of conversation soothed me as I looked for Jerry.
There was no sign of him.
I sighed.
I reached for my phone to text him an apology when someone touched my arm.
“Detective.”
I gasped and looked to see Jerry standing next to me.
“Doctor,” I said.
“Professional or personal tonight?”
“I’m not sure,” I said.
His eyes and smile were like ahhhh. That was the sound that went through my mind as I stared at him.
“I grabbed us a corner high-top,” he said. “Next to the window. I always enjoy sitting there. It’s good for people watching.”
“You like to watch people?” I asked.
“You say that in a creepy way,” Jerry said as he led the way. “I just like to watch and understand. Actions. Conversations. Reactions. People are the most fascinating thing in the world. Of course, you see a side of people that most don’t.”
“True,” I said.
Jerry pulled out a chair for me and waited until I was seated and comfortable before walking to his seat.
“I ordered us some wine,” he said. “If that’s okay. I figure one glass won’t hurt. We both have to drive, right?”
“You don’t want to get on my bad side,” I said.
“Let’s hope I stay on this side then,” he said with a wink.
He was beyond smooth and charming.
I swooned like a teenage girl meeting their favorite boy band.
A waitress brought us each a glass of wine.
Jerry thanked her with a smile.
Even the waitress looked a little flustered when he spoke.
“So, now we have to decide where this goes,” he said. “Should I ask you about Lo? Should I ask about your current case? Or should I just ask mundane stuff like your favorite color and your dream vacation location.”
“Good point,” I said. “I guess… here’s my response. Lo is okay. She’s confused and working through the Trevor thing. I’m sure you know all about that, and it ties into my case. I haven’t caught who murdered that poor girl up on the mountain. My favorite color is orange. Meaning this is my favorite time of the year. And then for my dream vacation, I would like to go to Ireland. And just tour the entire country.”
“I’ve been to Ireland.”
“You have?”
Jerry nodded. “It’s majestic. There’s nothing quite like it in the world. Maybe we can go there together someday.”
I pointed at him. “Now that’s a little bit of jumping ahead, no?”
“I believe in putting things out into the universe and seeing what comes back.”
“So you believe in that stuff? Your thoughts become actions and all that?”
“Sure,” he said. “I believe in anything and everything.”
“That’s such a shrink thing to say,” I said with a laugh.
“Wow, now I’m just a shrink?” Jerry asked.
I shrugged my shoulders and sipped my wine.
I was feeling okay. Calm. Relaxed. Almost like I was right at home.
Jerry and I talked as the time ticked by.
People came and went from the bar and we just sat there.
“Now tell me your favorite color and dream vacation,” I said.
Jerry laughed. “Okay. I can do that. I like the color green. It has such a happiness to it. Green means life, growth, and purpose. Now my dream vacation… this is a little strange, Allie.”
“I can’t wait to hear it,” I said.
“I would like to travel the country and find every little tiny town, diner, dive bar, and just experience a whole different kind of, I don’t know, feeling. Right?”
“So your dream vacation is to people watch,” I said.
“Ah, the great detective caught me,” Jerry said. “So, this is what it’s going to be like seeing you.”
“So we’re seeing each other again?”
“Why not?” Jerry said. “Do you mind if I have another glass of wine?”
“Not at all,” I said. “I think we’ve been here long enough that it’s not an issue.”
“For yourself?” Jerry asked.
“Soda is fine.”
He ordered the drinks for us and folded his hands together.
“So, Allie, what’s it like being back home like this?”
“We’re not in Sandemor,” I said.
“You’re literal,” he said. “I like it.”
“You’re trying to get me to talk.”
“What else are we supposed to do then?”
The question may have been subtle, but my mind suddenly was anything but.
I caught myself blushing at the question.
“It feels right to be here,” I said.
“Are you sure?”
“Why wouldn’t it?”
“It’s been mentioned you own Lo’s mother’s house. Well, your sister’s house. Do you have a plan?”
“Not yet. I’m playing it by ear.”
“Meaning?”
“When Lo is ready, she’ll tell me what to do. I’m leaving it up to her.”
“That’s strength, Allie.”
“It’s decency, Jerry. That girl has been through a lot. I want to help guide her.”
“What if she never wants to live in that house again?” Jerry asked.
“Then I will wait until she’s eighteen and hopefully she’ll go off to college. She’ll find herself and her life. I’ll sell the house and put the money away for her.”
“You won’t keep it for yourself? After all you’ve done for Lo?”
I smiled. “It’s Lo’s house. Not mine. I know where I belong and don’t. And I know you’re people watching me right now.”
“I’m just curious,” he said. “Forgive me. I find it amazing. You gave up your dream job to come back to your old hometown. Without a promise of anything fulfilling.”
“It’s my job,” I said. “And I am fulfilled.”
“Is that you telling me you’re having a good time with me?” Jerry asked.
“Sure thing,” I said with a smile.
As Jerry and I smiled at each other, getting lost in a moment, I started to think about Nikki. And Chelsea. And Annie. I thought about the young woman I saw. The young woman that was in Annie’s basement.
“Ah, now you’re leaving me,” Jerry said.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Your face. You’re feeling guilty for being here. When something bad is happening out there.”
“Only because I have an open case,” I said.
“Then let’s call it a night, Allie. I don’t want you to think I’m keeping you here.”
“No. I’m sorry. I just…”
“Allie,” Jerry said. “Let me walk you to your car.”
I looked at my phone and it was getting a little late.
I had spent more time than I intended.
Time just flew by with Jerry.
Jerry walked me outside and to my car.
“I hope I didn’t ruin the night,” I said.
“Hardly,” he said. “I have to be up early tomorrow myself. I’m going to settle the tab and go back to my apartment.”
“Let me give you some money…”
“Not a chance,” he said. “I had fun tonight. I wasn’t sure how this would work. A detective and a psychologist. Sounds like a cheesy romance novel, doesn’t it?”
“Well, I guess we will find out what happens in the next chapter,” I said.
I cringed.
