by Tijan
Lisa was nodding to Siobhan. “Dusty’s our housemate. We’ve gotten a little protective of her. Nice to meet you.”
Now that the coast was clear, Mia let go of my arm. She was back under Wyatt’s arm, his free hand hanging over her shoulder. And she wasn’t looking at me. Her nose and mouth were pinched, as if all of this was beneath her.
Lisa was the opposite. Her hands on her hips. Her eyes still flaring. “I’m fucking pissed! That phone was in your face. It almost hit you. I would’ve taken his balls if it were me. Is that how it was for you on Saturday? I can’t imagine Stone keeping his cool if it were.”
There were still people walking by. There were still people standing around, watching. The more they talked, the more I wanted to skip my last two classes and hide in Stone’s bed.
“I—” My voice cracked. “It wasn’t like that, but yeah. The guys got pissed Stone didn’t want to talk.”
“I can’t imagine. I’d be in jail by now if it were me.” Lisa grinned at Nacho, who put his arm around her shoulders. “Aggravated assault and battery. That’d be me.”
“Yeah.” He tapped her arm. “You don’t handle people being in your face that well.”
She waved her hand in the direction of where the guy went, a quick and almost savage motion. “I’d hospitalize the guy.”
Nacho said to me, “But you’re okay?”
Wyatt added, “Want us to call Stone?”
Jesus. They had his number. I wasn’t surprised. But I shook my head. “No, no. I’m good.”
“We got practice, but the girls could run you home if you needed?”
“Yeah.” First time Mia spoke, now looking at me again. “How’d you get to school today?”
More questions. More information. The crowd was still around them, but once they decided to stop dealing with them, it was like poof, they disappeared. But that wasn’t how it went, and there were still eyes, phones, and ears all around us.
But this was their world. I was just now a full-fledged member because of my association with Stone.
I said to Mia, “I’m good. I’ve got another class to head to.”
“You sure?” That was Nacho.
At my response, Mia’s face pinched up again and Wyatt nodded, an easy grin on his face. “Okay. We got lunch plans. You can join if you want?”
I knew where they had lunch. Varsity football members, their girlfriends, other friends, everyone knew they had lunch in the Quad at the main table. The truth was that this was a normal day to them. Getting this amount of attention, they were used to it. It was like breathing to them. I wondered what they’d think if suddenly no one noticed them, no one thought anything of them.
Because that’s how I preferred it, and looking at Siobhan and Trent, I knew from the aghast expressions on their faces, they were like me.
Stone dropped me off this morning. He gave me a number for a driver to come get me if I needed a ride, but I think in the back of my head I’d been hoping to talk to Siobhan. I wanted to make sure things were okay with her since she saw me Saturday mid-freak out. And I’d even hoped to maybe talk her into hanging out at the library.
Georgia texted saying they’d be flying in right before the game. They offered to meet me, but wouldn’t be able to pick me up, so I hadn’t really known how to plan for the day. Game started at seven. They wanted to meet at six thirty, head in for the seats. That was another name Stone gave me. I was supposed to go to door 8 and give my name. There were supposed to be tickets for everyone. But that was hours from now, and the small wish I had just to pretend to be normal today didn’t look like it was going to happen.
Everything had changed.
Siobhan knew. Trent knew. I knew other guys like phone guy would be in my face. My housemates didn’t understand what the word ‘discreet’ meant, so I had a couple choices to make. Either stay and deal, stay and hide in the library, or leave.
I chose door number two.
Right then and there, hiding in the library seemed the best option.
I shook my head at Wyatt. “I’m good. I’m, uh, I’m going to try to catch up before classes.”
“Okay. We’ll see you later, then.”
He and Mia headed off. Nacho started after them but stopped and looked back. Lisa was still in front of me. She was biting her lip. “We’re doing a party tonight to watch Stone’s game. Are you…” her eyes swept behind me. “Do your friends want to come?”
I heard a quiet squeak from Siobhan, but was already shaking my head. “I’m actually going to the game.”
“Oh!” Lisa’s head shot up. “Right.” Her face cleared up. “Duh. Of course, you are. It’s at home and Monday Night Football. Right on.” She punched my arm. “Have fun. I’m jealous.”
“Liss!” A shout from Mia.
“Right.” She began backing up, but grinning widely. “Have fun. Don’t forget the little people.” And with that, she turned, laughing at something Nacho said. He didn’t put his arm around her shoulder, but he did place it on the small of her back as both hurried to catch up.
Then it was the three of us.
I was ignoring a few onlookers still, trying to adopt my housemates’ ways.
Siobhan and Trent were both fixed on me, both pale. Trent kept blinking, chewing the inside of his mouth, and a whole look that he’d just tasted something he couldn’t identify kept shifting on his face. His nose was twitching.
Siobhan wouldn’t look at me. Her eyes were fixed steadfastly on my shoes.
A deep breath. “I—”
Her head jerked up, blanching. “I have to go!” She began backing away, and once she started, she picked up speed.
She couldn’t get away from me fast enough.
“Wha…oh. Okay. I should go, too.” Trent started, but he wasn’t fast enough.
Siobhan had a good grip on his shirt and she tugged him behind her.
They were almost sprinting away from me, almost as fast as my stomach was sinking to the ground.
Shit.
That’d gone the worst way I could’ve imagined.
Then it was just me. Again, I was still ignoring any gawkers.
My phone beeped. I lifted it.
Stone: How’s the first day back?
Miserable.
Me: Totally fine. It’s nice to be back.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Library.
Class.
Talk to the professor. Reassure them I was okay. I could handle the classwork again.
Library.
Stop. Backtrack. Stop at the coffee hut.
Then Library.
Class.
Again, reassure the professor I’m good to go.
That was the rest of my afternoon, until it was three in the afternoon and I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. Not wanting to make Stone’s driver come all the way to campus to take me back to Stone’s house, be there for maybe an hour and have to drive all the way to the other side of the city, I chose to walk to my house instead.
No one was there. This was one of my greatest mysteries, where were the housemates when they weren’t partying? I didn’t think Monday at three was party time, especially because they’d be partying in a few hours. That was it. They were probably getting ready for the party, but I had the house to myself. Heading downstairs, I tried to focus and study for the first hour.
I gave up.
I was distracted because in two-and-a-half hours, I’d see Jared again. I had so much guilt for not getting up there before now. An ache was digging in my chest, and lying on my bed, I rubbed that spot. Guilt and regret were going to eat a hole inside of me, literally.
My phone buzzed and I sat up, reaching for it at the same time as I brushed a tear away.
Georgia: We landed!! Jared’s super excited to see you. We’re going to the hotel now, then we’ll meet you at the stadium. Door 8, right?
Me: Yes. How was the flight? I’m excited to see Jared, too.
I wasn’t. I was, but I was petrified. My
hands were shaking as I typed that text out.
Another buzz.
Georgia: The boys are both bouncing off the walls. They told everyone on the plane they knew Stone and the Kingfishers were going to dominate tonight. Okay! We’ll see you at door 8. So excited!
Excited.
My hand never stopped shaking. All the way through taking a shower, changing. The button on my jeans kept slipping. Took me four times to secure it. Then, my hair. My whole arms were shaking now.
A knock and my door was pushed open. “You here—oh.”
It took me forty minutes just to get my clothes on. I had thirty minutes left to finish dressing before Stone’s driver would be outside waiting for me. I’d already sent him the text.
Nicole saw me, saw the state I was in, and came inside. She shut the door behind her, stood a second, and got serious. “What can I do?”
“My hair,” I croaked out.
“Okay.” She was eyeing the waves that’d come from my braiding attempts and the hair tie in my hand. “I know what to do.” She pulled out my desk chair and turned it around in front of her. Patting it, she said, “Come here. Take a seat.”
I did, almost sagging into it.
“Now,” she almost hummed under her breath, her fingers making quick work. I felt the tugging, but it wasn’t painful. She could’ve been pulling chunks out and I wouldn’t have cared. “I can’t do that fancy braid you did the other night, but I do know one trick that my mom taught me. And believe you me, I can rock a waterfall braid like no other. Trust, girl. Trust.”
I trusted.
And feeling the braid start to form across the back of my head, I closed my eyes and simply gave in.
The ache was back. My family was no more, except a stepbrother I was about to see. I had to accept it all and acknowledge it. I couldn’t see him in the half-state of denial that I was still existing in. Grief is a right bastard. Sneaks up on you, blasts you, hits you, pounds you, leaves you wrecked. There’s a moment of peace. You never know how long it could last. Minutes. Hours. Days. You’re starting to believe you can ‘do this’ and the bastard comes back, knocks you over with a battering ram. But if you fight it, deny it, ignore it, it’s still there. The bastard is just waiting until your shields are down, then he gets you again. Only way to deal is to take the beating, then breathe once he’s gone, and wait for him to return because it would get better.
I was rubbing at my chest when I realized what I was doing.
Nicole was finishing the braid. “Hold a second.” She disappeared, coming back with a curling iron, hair product, and hairspray. Plugging in the iron, she said, “Gotta perfect the whole look, you know. How my mama taught me.”
“Is your mom alive?”
She paused. “Yes.” She frowned. “Why do you ask?”
They didn’t know.
It was time. “My mom died when I was a senior in high school.”
She froze, cursing under her breath. “I—I thought maybe I heard something about that when you and Stone were here, but I wasn’t sure. I’m so sorry.”
My throat was so dry. My insides felt cracked. “The night Stone came over, the night of my wreck, he’d just told me that my dad and my stepmom had died.”
“Holy shit.” She drew in a harsh breath.
“My stepbrother is here. He’s being adopted by his best friend’s family, and they flew down to go to Stone’s game. Stone got them tickets. I’m going to see him for the first time since everything happened.”
Her hands flattened over my shoulders. “I’m so sorry. I…we had no idea.”
I admitted with a rueful grin, “I’m a mess.”
A sad smile came to her as she tucked a strand of hair behind the waterfall. “Well, you let me do my magic. This hairstyle, it’s something I can do to help.”
I nodded, whispering, my throat suddenly clogging up, “Thank you.”
“Of course.” She touched my cheek a moment before she was back, working on my hair.
Twenty minutes later, I had eight to go before the driver would be upstairs, Nicole stepped back. “You’re done!” She was smiling and blinking back tears. I was taking that as a good sign. Slipping from the chair, I went into the bathroom and stopped.
Whoa.
The waterfall braid started at one corner, wound down and around to end behind my other ear. The top was tucked under, pulled into the braid and the rest fell loose at my shoulders. They were curled and shining, and I knew I couldn’t have done anything better.
“Thank you.” I wasn’t thanking her just for the hair.
“Come here.” She pulled me in, hugging me tightly before stepping back. “The girls and I, we’re here for you. Mia lost her dad two years ago. It’s why she and Char got as close as they did. Char’s mom died of cancer the same year. Lisa lost a little brother. Savannah, her sister has Down syndrome and is in a nursing home. When I say we’re here for you, we are. We all get it. Trust me.” She leaned in, still smiling. “Thank you for telling me what’s really going on.”
Nicole gave me one more hug, and I was back to being a mess, but a good mess this time.
“Okay.” She stepped back. “Get dressed and get all hot for your man.”
My man.
I sighed after she left.
My man. Her words echoed in my head. Stone and I said no romance. We hated each other, then bam, death put us in bed together, and that’s where we still were. And my phone buzzed.
The driver was here.
I didn’t have time to ponder that.
The driver’s name was Morpheus.
I thought he was joking until he took a call and I heard the other person call him ‘Morph!’ so yeah. Morpheus. He didn’t look like the Morpheus I was thinking. He was a young guy, dressed in a button-down shirt, jeans, and black and gold leather dress shoes.
The shoes made me pause, but okay, then.
He picked me up in an SUV, and driving to the stadium, I could tell he’d done that a time or two. He whipped around, used side alleys that I didn’t think cars should drive in, and then he pulled up outside of door 8. I hadn’t told him I needed door 8, so there you go. The epitome of professional service.
“Here you go.” He turned to me, sunglasses hiding his eyes. “Mr. Reeves said you’d go home with him?”
Took a moment, but he was asking me that.
“Uh. Sure. Yeah.” I had no clue. But it didn’t matter. That felt good, knowing that Stone was planning for that.
And I wasn’t pondering that either.
From down the sidewalk, merging out of the crowd of people going for the main doors, I saw Georgia first. She was tall, long black hair. Her complexion was so clear and gorgeous. She looked like Gina Torres from Serenity. Her husband was next to her. He was the male version of Gina Torres, and ironically, dressed similarly to Morpheus. Cream-colored button-down shirt. Jeans. Leather dress shoes.
Two boys came from behind, and a little girl.
Apollo. His sister, but my gaze was on Jared.
He’d gotten taller. Could that happen? But yes. The last time I saw him was Thanksgiving the year before. He would’ve been a junior, and he’d shot up at least another inch, maybe more. He was lean. Wearing a Kings ballcap, a Kings jersey, and Nike shorts, his feet were decked out in the latest shoes. Apollo was dressed the same.
I got out of the SUV, my knees knocking together.
Georgia saw me first. A bright smile showing, she came over and enveloped me to her. She smelled like peaches and citrus. A big squeeze. “Oh, my girl. Dusty.” Another squeeze before she stepped back. She wiped a tear away.
Hands on my shoulders, she held me for another moment, just taking me in.
“You are so beautiful.” Her hand cupped the side of my face. A sad smile pulling at her mouth.
Her mouth tightened, her jaw starting to shake, and the tears began falling.
Her husband stepped up, sliding an arm around her shoulders, he drew her to him and nodded to me. “It’s nice
to see you, Dusty.”
A pair of arms wrapped around my waist.
I looked down.
Dark curls were there and I had to think a moment. Apollo and Angelina. I couldn’t remember how old Apollo’s little sister was, but she looked up, a beaming smile. “Hi! Did your mom really name you after dirt?”
Apollo groaned. “Angie, you weren’t supposed to say that.”
“What? That’s what Jayjay told me.”
Jayjay.
I knelt down, hugged Angie and whispered in her ear, “No, but that’s what Jared likes to tell little girls that he’s fond of.” I pulled back and winked at her.
I was guessing she was eight because her eyes got big and she started blushing.
Standing, I looked at my brother.
He was fighting back tears.
My eyes were red and my own were coming. I didn’t fight them. They fell free, and seeing them, his own started flowing. He was holding a soda in his hand, but it fell and he just stared at it on the sidewalk.
I didn’t think he saw it.
I went to him, and in one breath, I pulled him to me. “Hey.” I wound my arms tight around him.
He stiffened. His body was so skinny. Tall, but skinny, but damn. His arms came around me, too, and he wasn’t weak, like at all. Oomph. He was hella strong. Holy Jesus. He was almost crushing me, hugging me so tight. I felt his body start to shake, and I felt the wetness on my shoulder. I just hugged him harder. The two of us, we were crushing their memories between us. Gail and my dad. Who were they? If we hugged just a bit harder, we’d make them disappear, or bring them to life. Right? That’s how it worked?
No. The harder we hugged, the faster the tears fell.
We were all a mess. Except for Angie. She was trying to stop the soda from running free when Jared and I separated.
Georgia. Bud. Even Apollo was having a hard time holding back the tears. Jared’s eyes were red-rimmed, swollen, and I could only imagine I looked worse. We all stood in a circle. I wouldn’t let go of Jared’s hand. Georgia came over, hugged me again. She smoothed her hand up my back in a comforting motion.
