I laugh. “Why did you make up Miranda?”
“Bree, I thought I knew what I was doing. Me and my crazy ideas. My mythical girl worked for five years and got him off my back. You should have seen the type of women he used to set me up with.”
I continue laughing. “Did you ever go on any dates?”
“No. Not once. Thank God. The last thing I want to look like is an asshole to someone my grandfather knows.”
I stare at him and think about that comment. Since getting to know him I’ve seen this side of him that is different from the Ethan of the past. There’s no way that guy would be sitting here next to me in a vineyard.
He searches my eyes. “What?”
“You.”
“What me?” he smirks.
“Why the hell were you such a dick to me when you’re really this?” I blurt.
“I still be a dick.”
“No you aren’t. You’re actually nice. Why couldn’t you have been nicer to me?”
“Story for another time.”
“You said that before and I see no reason why I can’t hear your stories now. Do you know how curious I am? First you treat me like hell and call me weirdo and miss goody-two-shoes, but Amelia was hardly that much different from me.”
Oh God, why did I mention her?
My mouth kept going and the words flowing from my mind. I had no filter. Now he looks thrown and like I said something I shouldn’t have, because I did.
“I’m sorry, that’s none of my business and I shouldn’t have mentioned her.”
“It’s okay.” He looks away and I think he might not say anything more than what he’d said but then he looks back to me again and pulls in a deep breath. “You’re right. You’re completely right to ask me. So I’ll tell you.”
Chapter 24
Bree
“My dad was an asshole. He was a drunk and he cheated. A lot. Every rumor you would have heard about him was true. My mother said he was good once, but I don’t remember that,” Ethan says riveting his gaze to me. “If he was ever good it wasn’t any time in my living memory. People say you can’t really remember the early days of your childhood, but I think if it’s bad enough, you remember things. My first memory of my old man’s fists was when I was five years old.”
“Ethan… my God no.”
“Yes. He’d beat me until I was black and blue sometimes. Especially during the school breaks so no one could see me and question what happened. At other times he’d hit me where I could cover it up. But it was nothing in comparison to what he did to my mother. Jesus she thought he would get better one day and be the man he used to be, but it never happened. He just got worse and worse. He threatened to destroy her if she left him but he never needed to worry about that because she wasn’t going anywhere.”
“I can’t believe she stayed.”
“Me neither Bree. Until this day I don’t get it, but I think she wanted to keep us together. All it did was screw me over because when I tried to protect her, things just got out of control and I know it’s no excuse but that’s why I was so bad. I was the delinquent no one could reach. A fucking asshole who acted out because I couldn’t control what was happening in my own home.” He pauses for a beat and I continue to watch him.
“When I first met you, I liked you. What’s not to like?” he looks back to the thick grapevines. “But the moment I saw you with your family and got to know you, I knew I had no business with a girl like you. I knew you liked me but I thought you could do so much better, but you kept trying with me.”
I’m completely shocked by what I’m hearing.
“I guess I just wanted you to like me and I couldn’t understand why you didn’t.”
“But I did, but I was so broken there was no way I could fix myself, and I still can’t. As for Amelia, I guess when we got together I figured she understood me because her mother was the same as my father in terms of the drinking and cheating. They even died near enough the same way, but for her it was drugs that killed her. She seemed to be just as broken as I was but I didn’t know she had other reasons to be broken too. I didn’t know how sick she was.”
“What was wrong with her?”
“She had a rare disorder. It was Juvenile Huntington's disease. She knew it was only a matter of time before she died and she was always having treatment but I didn’t know. When we graduated high school we broke up in college and she left. I saw her again sometime after when I was visiting my grandmother on my mother’s side in the hospital. I saw Amelia there in the rehab center in a wheelchair and I couldn’t believe it was her. That was when I first found out what was wrong with her and that she was sick. She could even talk properly to tell me. It was her dad who spoke for her.”
“Oh my God,” I rasp out. “I’m so sorry.”
I never knew what to assume of how she died. I just heard it was tragic. In the town we live when people give such a thing a label it could mean anything, but mostly the label is keep the truth close so not everyone is talking about it.
“Thanks, I appreciate that.”
“What happened after?”
“I stayed with her for the year she had left on this earth and watched her die. I knew her father from before I met her. He was the officer who always arrested me and he took care of me when I went into juvie. He’s the reason I became a cop. We still keep in touch. I’m supposed to see him in a few months to scatter her ashes. I guess that’s it the story for another time.”
We stare at each other and my heart is so full I don’t know what to say.
“Oh Ethan, I’m so sorry you went through so much. I wish I could have done more.”
“Trust me You wouldn’t have wanted to be around the old me. What you saw was bad, but for me to end up in juvie the amount times I did, you have to realize I was really bad.” He gives me a sad smile and there’s a weariness in his eyes that calls to me to take a look into his soul. “Like I said broken and couldn’t be fixed.”
“But that’s just the thing, when I looked at you I never thought you were broken. I never thought you needed to be fixed.” I shake my head and he gazes at me, looking straight into my eyes like he can see inside me too. “I liked you just the way you were, and I still do.”
A sensuous moment passes between us where we just stare at each other and neither of use speaks.
He moves first, pressing his forehead to mine and brushing his nose over mine too.
“Bree, I’m sorry. I wish I could turn back time. The first thing I would do is take that muffin you offered me on the beach.”
“If you could do that, maybe we’d have a different story to tell and we wouldn’t be these people and I still like this version of us.”
He moves back and smiles at me. “Me too. Come here.”
I pulls me in for a kiss I sink into and I want to relish, but now I know the truth behind my bully, I don’t want us to end.
What do I do when it happens?
Chapter 25
Ethan
“Ethan where are you taking me?” Bree complains.
“Come on, baby, where’s your sense of adventure?” I reply fixing her blindfold when she whips her head around to glare at me through the cloth.
“You should know I’m giving you evil daggers. How dare you be mean to me on my birthday?”
“Trust me, it’s going to be worth it. Just keep walking.”
I keep my hand to the small of her back and guide her steps so she can place one foot in front of the other on the cobbled path I had put in last week. That was the final touch to the house she thinks she’s going to get in three months’ time.
We’ve been together for three months now. When I saw there was a way to get everything set up for her to have the house fixed up and turned into her dream spa, I did it. I wanted her to have a birthday present she’d never forget and be able to start her business sooner.
Everything is ready to go. All she has to do is give the place a name.
“In a minute you can take the blind fold o
ff.” I whispers into her ear and she smiles.
“I’m nervous.”
“Nothing to be nervous off.”
Logan opens the door for us as quietly as possibly when he sees us. I also arranged a surprise party. Everyone we know is here, family and friends alike.
I guide Bree into the main hall I changed into a cafeteria where I have enough tables and chairs to seat fifty people. That’s where I have everyone.
Bree’s mother and Shelby look on proudly as do Quinn and her other friends. Her cousin Lucille and the other cousins are the only ones who have that uptight resting bitch faces. It’s jealousy. Even I can see it and it’s good they can be here to see Bree achieve her biggest dream.
“Ready?’ I ask Bree.
“Like yesterday.”
I slide off the blindfold from her face and when everyone yells ‘surprise,’ she gasps and brings her hands up to her cheeks.
But the real shocker is when she realizes where she is and she turns around to see what I did.
“Oh my God, what’s going on?” she looks back to me, her cheek blotchy and her eyes taking me in with awe and adoration.
“Happy birthday, Mrs. Carson, your day spa is ready to go when you are.”
“Oh Ethan, you did this for me?”
“I did. You like it?” I hope she does. She showed a bunch of pictures when she was doing her planning and I just got the contractors to make what she wanted.
“I love it.”
“Wait until you see the rest of the place.”
“Oh my God.” A tear runs down her cheek and she throws her arms around me, holding me close to her heart. “I’ll love you forever for this. Thank you so much for believing in me.”
Her words deliver a punch to my gut and when she stares back at me it’s like a door opens in my broken soul for me to walk through and accept how I truly feel about her. I want to run right out and tell her I love her too, but the shadow of fear on my heart holds me back.
I know she probably just said she loved me in the moment because of the excitement and she probably does mean it, but hearing her say that meant more for me.
When I look at Bree I always see everything I ever wanted and without her I see nothing but uncertainty.
“I’m glad you like it,” I reply and she dabs at her eyes.
Her mother and Shelby rush over and whisk her away to look at the place. The night wears on like that where she’s engrossed in the excitement and I’ve never seen Bree look happier.
Knowing I made her happy means even more to me.
When we get home, I make love to her. I noticed the difference between sex and love while we were in Italy. It happened that night after I told her the truth.
We left that vineyard as two different people than the ones who’d entered and those versions of ourselves are the ones who came back home to Wilmington.
I knew then that she’d open my heart because she never wanted to fix me.
I couldn’t describe to anyone what it meant to me to hear her say that. the power of her words resolved a problem which at one point in my life it was my biggest setback. However, that only enhanced my other demon—my fear of love.
I was never supposed to fall in love with Bree, but I think that was unavoidable. I should have known that,
In the past I avoided Bree and ended up with Amelia. Losing her crippled me and I swore to myself I would never do it again.
But look at me.
When she falls asleep in my arms I don’t sleep I think of my new dilemma and the giant clock ticking over our heads counting down the days until we end.
I find myself back at the spa—I can call it that now—with Logan the next morning. We’ve come in to do the final check on the lightings in the treatment rooms.
We were meeting up to discuss a case anyway so we thought we’d check everything here on the way.
“This is all good to go,” Logan says with a nod.
“My section is fine too. I think we’re done here.”
“Cool.”
“Ready to go?”
“I am, but I thought we could take a second to talk before we head to the station. You’re quiet,” he notes.
“I’m fine.”
“Are you? I noticed you went all weird last night when Bree said she loved you.”
I press my lips together. “You heard that?”
“I was right behind you. Don’t worry, I don’t think anyone else heard and everyone was busy looking at the place to see the shift in your mood.”
“Christ. I didn’t mean to look like I went weird.” I hope Bree didn’t think so. She wasn’t looking at me like she expected me to say it back. “She was just thanking me.”
“Maybe so, but I saw how you looked.”
“How did I look Logan?”
“Like you had an epiphany that freaked you out.”
I stare back at him and he does the same to me with understanding.
“Logan it’s kind of complicated.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I don’t know if I should because talking is entertaining something I’m not sure I should have.”
“Well it looks like we’re talking so we might as well continue going.”
I sigh. “I love her.” the words come effortlessly like they always made sense.
“That’s great, but I think you might have always known that.”
“Maybe I did.”
“So what’s the problem Ethan?”
I’m supposed to be this badass cop who isn’t scared of anything. Telling him I’m scared feel so wrong on every level.
“I just don’t think I should see more to this relationship than what it is.”
“Why when you have a good thing going. She loves you too. You must know that.”
“I actually I think I do, but Logan Bree could always do better than me.”
“That’s a matter of opinion my friend. Why don’t you cut to the chase and get to the real problem which is you’re afraid to love again.”
Sometimes I truly hate how right he is.
“Logan it was hard to watch Amelia die.”
“I know, but Bree isn’t dying or anything like that.”
“I haven’t opened my heart like that since Amelia. I loved her too and it was different to what I feel for Bree. It took me years to find myself after Amelia and I accepted what happened to her. I don’t know if I could allow myself to be in that position again. I feel like it might be worse if something happened to me and Bree, and that’s saying something.”
“Of course it’s saying something. Don’t you think you should listen?”
“I don’t know.” Because losing Bree would ruin me if I allow myself to fall any deeper in love with her than I already have. I don’t want to be like my father and fuck up her life, and I don’t want some other shit to happen I can’t control.
“Right now what I do know is we have an end date,” I say and he sighs. “I know how we’re supposed to end and when. Maybe… we should keep it that way. It might be best for us both. She was never supposed to be with me anyway.”
I sound like a coward, but I’m too caught up in the past to be anything other than that.
“I guess only you can know what’s best. I just don’t want you to mess up a good thing when you don’t have to.”
I wish I could listen to him, but my demons are riding my shoulders and suffocating my heart.
Chapter 26
Bree
“Did you feel him kick,” Quinn squeals with delight.
“I did!” I gasp feeling her stomach again as she lies back on the sofa.
She and Logan are having a boy and everyone is so excited. The baby talk is usually lost on me but not when it comes to feeling my best friend’s stomach for her baby to kick.
We’re in the quiet room at the Hideaway Cove. That’s what I christened my spa. The name seemed fitting and stuck.
In this room I have little beds that look like hammocks in row
s across the room. Normally it’s quieter in here when I have more people but as it’s just the two of us and I’m nearly at closing time the noise can be excused.
Quinn also just finished her prenatal pampering treatment Shelby designed just for her.
Shelby is just finishing up with her last client and then we’re done for the day. We’re supposed to have dinner later to catch up. I’m looking forward to that. It’s perfect because Ethan is working late and I didn’t want to be at home alone with my thoughts.
The baby kicks again and we both laugh.
“I am so happy for you,” I tell her.
At that moment Shelby walks in shaking her head at the two of us.
“You girls are gonna make that poor child deaf before he’s even born with all that screaming and carrying on,” Shelby scolds.
We start laughing. “We’re just happy.”
“I know and so does the whole neighborhood.” She rolls her eyes. “Anyway, Quinn your husband is here to pick you up.”
“Yay, we’re going to the movies,” Quinn tries to get up and it’s funny to watch her.
She was so tiny only a few months ago then it was like she woke up one day as big as she is now. She’s had to get a new dance teacher to share the workload at her school.
“Have fun,” I say.
“I will. I’m just going for the popcorn.” She giggles and waves goodbye to the both of us.
“Come on you. I am starving. I think we should go to that curry house. I’m in the mood for something different.”
“Me too. I’ll be ready in a minute.”
She nods and leaves then I release the breath I seemed to have been holding all day. My lungs burn as the air expels and just like yesterday I blink back the tears that threaten to fall.
I’m happy. I should be happy. look at me living in a dream. I have a day spa that is kicking butt. I’ve never made so much money in my life and everything in terms of my career is going amazing.
This was what I wanted months ago. Then Ethan happened. or rather, his world collided with mine, because he’d always happened. We just existed in different spheres.
Out of Bounds: An Enemies to Lovers Romance (Sinful Bachelors Book 2) Page 15
