by Swan, T L
But all I see is Charlotte’s hurt face.
Every tabloid, every magazine, everyone knows I slept with Penelope—Charlotte’s brother’s wife. Her damn sister-in-law.
To make it worse, someone even filmed what Penelope was saying in the restaurant. It’s been played over and over and over.
Everywhere.
It’s not even true.
Did I sleep with her? Yes.
Did I know she was married? No.
I had no idea what her real name was. I hooked up with her a few times and she told me she was divorced. I saw her at a club one night and we went back to her house.
What I thought was her house, anyway.
Then a crazed husband burst in on us midway through sex, and he completely lost his shit. I picked up my clothes and ran. I never saw her again.
I still remember the devastation on his face when he caught us. It’s something I have thought of often over the years.
It’s the kind of thing you never forget.
There was no way in hell I would have been there if I’d have known the truth. I wouldn’t knowingly sleep with a married woman unless she was in an open relationship. I know what Seb went through. I would never inflict that pain on someone else.
My chest constricts as I remember the only person that matters in this story.
Charlotte. My beautiful Charlotte.
I’ve lost her.
She won’t answer my calls, she’s not opening my texts. She won’t see me.
She’s heartbroken, and who can blame her?
I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to say. How do I salvage this?
A little voice from deep inside my mind tells me that it’s impossible.
I click out of the story on my screen and run my hands through my hair in disgust.
I’m sick to my stomach.
This is God punishing me. I’m being punished for being promiscuous before I met her.
My love… gone.
I hear my office door open and I look up and see a familiar face. Unable to help it, tears of relief fill my eyes and I stand quickly.
“Spence,” Sheridan whispers, taking me in her arms.
I cling to her as if my life depends on it. After a long time, she pulls back to look at my face, holding it in her hands.
“Are you okay, darling?” she asks softly, her eyes searching mine.
“No,” I whisper. “I am not.”
She takes me in her arms again and holds me tight. “It’s okay. I’m here now, baby. I’ll look after you. We’ll get through this together.”
Charlotte
I wake from my groggy sleep and lie in the darkness.
It’s Christmas Day—the day I was dreading spending without my family. That pain pales into insignificance now. I get a vision of my Spencer waking up alone in his apartment and my bottom lip quivers.
Is he okay?
I will not cry today. I will not cry today, I chant in my head.
Penelope and William had a huge argument and she left the estate last night.
She took Harrison with her… it’s Christmas.
It’s been ten days since I saw Spencer. Ten days without his love…. his touch.
I feel like a part of me has died and I’m trying to learn how to live without a limb.
I’ll get through this, I know I will.
I need to talk to Spencer, but I feel too weak to do so at the moment. I know if I see him now, he will somehow talk me around. I don’t have the strength to say what I need to say without crying and begging for him to turn back time.
To be honest, I don’t know if I ever will.
His love was perfect. It was something I feel I was meant to experience.
But that was before.
We were supposed to be leaving for Santorini in three days. I get a vision of us laughing and driving around on motorbikes the last time we were there, and I close my eyes, hating the way my chest constricts.
How do people do this? How do they bounce back?
I’ve always heard of people going through a bad breakup, but until you’ve actually had your heart ripped out and stomped on, you have no idea of the enormity of it.
It’s like the world is ending.
William needs me today. He’s spending Christmas without his son.
I know the fight they had last night was over Spencer. I heard his name called out as they yelled at each other from upstairs.
I think seeing Spencer opened a can of worms for William. How do you move on when you’ve seen another person making love to your wife? When that person turns up years later as your baby sister’s new boyfriend? It would have to mess your mind up.
I know mine is completely scrambled.
The bitter taste of betrayal fills my mouth.
He had sex with Penelope… more than once.
I could never look at him the same again. He is forever tainted in my eyes.
I keep getting a vision of them naked together, again and again, as if I saw it with my own eyes.
It’s making me sick.
“Charlotte,” my father calls from the hallway of my house. He’s been staying with me since this all happened. I think he’s scared to leave me alone. Scared of what, I’m unsure.
“Yes, Dad.”
He comes into view, peeking around the door. “Merry Christmas, my darling.”
I smile and my eyes fill with tears. He’s the one man I can always rely on.
“Merry Christmas, Dad.”
* * *
“You know what?” Lara says. “I’m glad this happened. At least now we have proof of what Edward and your father have been saying all along.”
I roll my eyes. “Not helping, Lars.”
We’re sitting out on the front porch of my house on December 26th.
Lara and Beth have come over to try and cheer me up… I think at Edward’s insistence, although Lara is not doing a very good job of it. I had one of the worst days of my life yesterday.
Christmas without Spencer.
“Bullshit. How could you say such a thing?” Beth snaps at her.
Lara shrugs. “They thought something was off and they were right.”
Beth rolls her eyes. “Did Edward tell you that while you were sucking his dick?”
I smirk.
“Will you drop it with the Edward crap?” Lara whines.
Beth is now openly ribbing Lara about Edward, and Lara is avoiding the topic by not answering a direct question. I really do think they either are fucking or have fucked in the past. Which one, I’m not sure. It’s something I don’t like to imagine.
“Will you stop making Spencer out to be the evil villain in this story, because he’s not?” Beth grumbles angrily. “It’s fucking Penelope and her loose vagina that’s caused all this heartache. Spencer wasn’t married. Spencer didn’t have a girlfriend. Who cares who he fucked before he met you?”
“When it was my brother’s wife, I do actually, Beth,” I hit back.
She rolls her eyes at me, choosing not to respond.
“Everybody will know. For the rest of my life, everyone will know that he fucked my brother’s wife. It’s been in every tabloid for a week.” My eyes fill with tears. “I can’t be with someone who’s done that, no matter how much I love them. I can’t get past it.”
“Then go talk to him and break up with him like a real adult.”
Guilt fills me.
“Why are you hiding from him?”
“Because if I see him, he’ll talk me down.”
“Because you know he’s fucking right!” Beth snaps.
“Oh, just shut up, Beth.” Lara sighs. “She can’t be with him after this. She’ll be the laughing stock of society.”
Beth scowls at us both and stands in an outrage. “Lara, I would expect you to bow down to society and suck their balls. But you...” she points at me, “are being fucking ridiculous. Spencer is a wonderful man, and I don’t care what he’s done before he met you because I see how
happy he makes you now. If he fucked her now it would be different. But he didn’t, it was years ago. Wake up and smell the damn coffee.”
I stare at her through tears.
She points at me. “You’re going to lose him, and in ten years’ time when Penelope is long divorced from William, and Spencer is happily married to someone else, you’re going to kick yourself for throwing away the best thing that ever happened to you.”
We both stare at her and fear runs through me. What she’s just said is a real possibility.
“Now, I’m going to bed, because you two and this society-shame bullshit is pissing me off.” Before she leaves, Beth turns to me. “I thought you wanted to marry for love, Lottie?”
“I do.”
“You’re not acting like you love him. You’re acting like a selfish little girl—”
“Fuck off, Beth. She is not, she’s being smart, for once,” Lara interrupts.
“Imagine how he’s feeling right now.”
Tears roll down my cheeks.
“You know what? I wish Spencer Jones had fallen in love with me because there is no way in fucking hell I would be sitting here in this fucking prison with you.”
I stare at her.
“Your father didn’t talk to you for eight weeks because he didn’t get his own way, Charlotte.” She throws her hands in the air. “What does that tell you about this fucked up situation? How can you not see it?”
“Stop it, you’re upsetting her,” Lara demands.
“Where was Spencer?” Beth snaps. “Where was Spencer when you needed him?”
I drop my head into my hands as my emotions boil over.
“That’s right, Lottie, Spencer was right by your side the whole fucking time. Never once have you doubted his love for you.”
Wyatt walks around the corner after hearing our raised voices. “What’s going on here?” he asks.
“Nothing.” Beth sighs in disgust. “I’m going to bed. These two and their lack of priorities are making me sick.” The door slams behind her as she disappears.
Wyatt frowns, and his eyes flick to me in question.
“You go to bed, too, Lars. I’ll be up in a minute.” I sigh.
She kisses my cheek and walks inside the house.
“Are you okay?” Wyatt asks softly.
“I hardly know anymore,” I whisper.
He sits on the step at my feet, and we both stare out over the property and into the darkness of the night. He doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t try to talk me into his way of thinking.
He just stays, and in this moment, that’s all I need.
Spencer
Bang, bang, bang!
What on earth?
It’s two days after Christmas, and after possibly the most depressing Christmas I’ve ever had, I’m packing for Santorini.
She’ll come.
I know she will. Our love was too strong. She won’t forget that, no matter what’s happened.
She’ll come.
I have to believe that. I have to believe that she’ll be able to move past this because the reality is that if she doesn’t, it’ll be more than I can bear.
Bang, bang, bang!
I open the door in a rush.
“Where is she?” Edward growls, looking past me and into the room.
“What?” I frown. Him and Harold barge past me and walk into my apartment. “Please, do come in,” I mutter with an eye roll.
Assholes.
“Where is she?”
“What are you fucking talking about?”
“Don’t act dumb, you know exactly where she is.”
“I haven’t seen her since the restaurant, you know that.”
Harold pinches the bridge of his nose. “She could be anywhere. She’s taken off.” He falls onto the sofa.
“Her guards aren’t with her?” I ask in confusion.
“She’s… Charlotte is completely alone,” Harold stammers in a panic. “She snuck out in the middle of the night.”
“This is all my fault.” Edward groans. “Why did I…?” His voice trails off.
“What?” I frown. “What happened?”
He shakes his head and drops next to his father on the sofa. “We fought.”
“You fought with her?” I snap. “She’s hurt enough, why the fuck would you fight with her?”
“I don’t know. I was angry with Penelope for taking off and I...” He shakes his head at himself.
“What did she say?” I begin to freak out.
“She left a note saying she would be back soon,” Harold tells me quietly.
“What note?”
He digs around in his suit pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. He hands it over.
Dad,
I’m confused and I need time alone to think.
I’m taking a TTT Trip. Don’t worry, I’m safe.
I’ll see you in two weeks.
I love you,
Charlotte.
My heart swells with hope and pride.
That’s my girl.
24
Spencer
If she’s gone for a TTT trip in its truest form, I think she’s gone to Maui and will be staying at the Four Seasons. If she left in the middle of the night, she won’t even be there yet.
She’s at my special place.
I want her to have time to think. I want her to be able to make this decision on her own. But then… I look at the worry on Harold’s face and I can’t do that to him.
“Just a minute.” I walk to the kitchen, grab my phone, and Google the hotel. When it pops up, I dial the number.
“Aloha, Four Seasons,” the receptionist answers.
“Hello, can I be put through to Maxine, please?” I ask. “Tell her that it’s Spencer Jones calling.”
“Of course, sir.”
I wait on the line until the phone connects to another line.
“Hello, Spencer.” Maxine laughs excitedly. “It’s been a long time.”
“It has, and I’m due for a trip very soon.” I glance up to the two men in front of me. “I have a friend arriving there tonight. Can you check if she’s arrived yet for me, please?”
“Sure thing. What’s her name?”
What would she have used? I think for a moment while Harold and Edward watch on.
“Lottie Preston.”
“Just a minute.” I hear her tapping away on the keys at her computer. “Ah, yes. She won’t arrive until later tonight. Can I leave a message?”
“No, thank you. I’ll call back later,” I say before hanging up.
I turn to them. “I know where she’s going.”
They both place their hands over their chests in relief. “Thank God. Where?”
I stare at them for a moment. This is my only leverage and I need to use it.
“I want to speak to William,” I say steadily.
“Fuck off,” Edward growls. “He doesn’t want to speak to you.”
“Fine. Then get out.”
Harold’s face falls. “Please, Spencer, tell us where she is. She’s in danger out there on her own.”
“I’ll tell William where she is.”
“Why would you want to speak to him?” Edward snaps. “Haven’t you done enough to him already?”
“I need to apologise.” I pause. “I had no idea she was married.”
“Bull-fucking-shit. She told us everything.”
I raise a brow. “And you believe anything that comes out of that lying bitch’s mouth, right? I knew her as Stephanie, and it gets worse. She’s actually contacted me a few times over the last few years and begged to see me again.”
Harold’s face falls.
“Every time she’s in London, she tries to see me. I’m telling you, she’s fucking other guys all the time.”
“I knew it.” Edward narrows his eyes. “I need proof.”
Harold frowns as his watches me. “Have you ever…?” “Fuck, no.” I wince. “I’m mortified that she put me in the position she
did that night.” I drop my head in shame. “I’m not proud of it, I’m telling you.” I exhale heavily. “The look on William’s face will haunt me forever.”
Edward glares at me.
“I love Charlotte. I would never have pursued her had I known that she knew Stephanie.”
“Penelope.” Harold glares at me. “Christ, you don’t even know her fucking name.”
“That’s right, I don’t. Now she’s telling all these lies to protect herself at the expense of Charlotte’s heart.” I sigh sadly. “She makes me fucking sick. Charlotte doesn’t deserve to be hurt like this. I can’t stand that she is.”
“It’s your word against hers,” Edward says. “Give me proof. I need concrete evidence that she’s come to you. If I can prove that she’s still sleeping around, he can divorce her and get custody of Harrison.”
“I don’t have any. Maybe my phone records can show the times she’s contacted me?” I offer. “I don’t know.” I hold Edward’s stare. “Bring William to me and I’ll tell you where Charlotte is.”
“Why should we?” Harold snaps.
“Because you both need to realise the truth. I was a player. Hell, I’ve fucked around for years, I’m the first to admit it. But as soon as I met Charlotte I stopped immediately. I don’t want anybody else. I have no secrets and Charlotte knows everything about me. I haven’t lied to her once, and if I knew about Stephanie, I would have told her. Do you honestly think I would want her to go through this? For Christ’s sake, I don’t even speak to my own fucking father because he’s an adulterous prick.”
They both watch me as they listen.
“I’ve never even been in a relationship before Charlotte because of this exact reason. I couldn’t be a two-faced liar. It’s not who I am.”
Edward rolls his eyes.
“You know what fucking pisses me off the most about this?” I say.
“What?” Harold sighs.
“If you had just given me the time of day back when we met instead of treating me like dirty Stephanie or whatever her fucking name is, you would have seen the truth. You would have known how I feel about Charlotte.”
Harold raises his chin.
“I’ve done nothing wrong.” I hold my hands up in front of me. “I promise you, and you know I haven’t. You probably have people watching me, hoping to catch me out.”
