“I’ve seen your videos, too, Olaf. You enjoy the work a lot more than I did.”
“Do you think your victims hurt less because you did not enjoy it, Nick?”
“No.”
“Do you think they were less afraid because you didn’t enjoy their screams?”
“No,” Nicky said, and there was no emotion in the word.
“Do you think you’re better than me because you felt more for your victims?”
“No. If it’s morals you want to split, then I’m worse, because I had some pity, some feelings, and I still did it. I think that makes me worse.”
I looked at him between the seats. “Is it being tied to me metaphysically that makes you feel bad about it now?”
Nicky made a little waffling motion. “I don’t remember feeling bad about it before, so probably, but I know that I didn’t enjoy the harm I caused past a certain point. It stopped being exciting or sexual or anything remotely resembling an emotion I could explain to you, Anita.”
“You’re a werelion. You like blood and meat,” Olaf said.
“In my food, not in my sex.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I’ve said it before, Olaf: I don’t care what you believe.”
I had a thought but wasn’t sure if I should share it out loud. I forgot that, with Nicky this close, a clear thought was enough, and I didn’t have to say it.
“Yeah, I think you’re right,” he said.
“Thank for you for admitting it,” Olaf said.
“I wasn’t talking to you, Olaf. I was talking to Anita.”
“She didn’t say anything— Ah, you read her mind again.”
“I did.”
“What did she think that was so right?”
“That I’m into edge play and risk-aware bondage, but you’re a serial killer, so once my victims were hurt past a certain point, I didn’t see it as sex, and you still do.”
“Those don’t sound like Anita’s words.”
“Nicky’s paraphrasing,” I said.
“What did you actually think?” Olaf asked.
“Nicky explained it better. Thoughts aren’t always as fully formed before you say them.”
“Do you do edge play and risk-aware bondage with Nicky?”
“If I say yes, will you drop this line of conversation?”
“No,” he said.
I said, “Then I’m not going to answer the question.”
“Nicky, do you need the bondage to have sex?”
“You mean, to get aroused enough for sex?” Nicky asked.
“Yes.”
“No, I can get it up without it. How about you? Do you need the violence to do it?”
“For the physical act, no.”
“How about to enjoy it?” Nicky asked.
“I will answer the question if you will,” Olaf said.
“Without the rough, it’s no fun, but I can do vanilla. I did it for some undercover work,” Nicky said.
“As did I, but without the rough, as you put it, it is not satisfying.”
I honestly hadn’t been entirely sure that Olaf could get it up without the extreme violence. It was strangely positive that he could, better than the alternative.
I could see the sheriff’s station up ahead. We were about to learn what the new evidence was, and I was going to get out of this conversation. Double win!
“Do you want to have children with Anita?” Olaf asked.
And just like that, we were back to being trapped in the conversation from hell.
“No,” Nicky said.
“Why not?”
“The woman who calls herself my mother is the one who took my eye when I was fourteen, and that’s just the scar I can’t hide. It’s not even close to the only one. She abused my younger brother and sister, too, but I was her special boy. My father knew and didn’t do a damn thing to protect us. With that as my pedigree, I don’t think I should breed.”
“So, you do not care if Anita has a child with one of the other men in your lives?”
“That is none of your business,” I said.
“No, it’s all right,” Nicky said. “I want to answer.”
I tried not to sigh and just motioned him on.
“The men she’s closest to are like family to me. Nathaniel calls me one of his brother-husbands, like the polygamist term sister-wife. If Anita wants to have kids with some of my brothers, then it’s just more family to love.”
Olaf parked in front of the police station and turned off the engine. I was already reaching for the door handle when he asked, “And do you truly love them as you love Anita?”
“No, I’m in love with her. I love some of the men like brothers and some as friends.”
“What of the women in your poly group who are still back in St. Louis?”
Nicky grinned, but it was more a baring of teeth, like the reminder that he had sharper ones in his other forms. “Most of them are afraid of me, so no, I don’t love any of them.”
“What about sex with them?”
“See the first answer: They’re afraid of me. And none of them likes rough sex or bondage, so what’s the point?”
“Even Angel and Petra?”
Fuck, I thought.
“I don’t love either of them,” Nicky said.
“Have you had sex with them?” Olaf asked.
I wanted to get out of the car, but was afraid the conversation wouldn’t stop, and then I wouldn’t be here to know what answers Nicky had given. I might need to know both the answers and Olaf’s reactions to those answers, so I stayed. Damn it.
“I’ve had sex with Angel.”
“And?” Olaf said.
“And Anita is very uncomfortable with this line of questioning,” Nicky said.
“Does that mean you won’t answer or cannot answer me?”
“It means that Anita would have to tell me she’s okay with me answering.”
I looked longingly at the sheriff’s station; it was right there. There were clues to see, but I knew Olaf wouldn’t leave this question alone. Since both women were being set up as bait, it seemed like it was a question that would have to be answered. Oh, hell.
“Does Angel know who and what I am?” Olaf asked.
That made me turn and look at him. “She knows.”
“And yet she is still flirting with me.”
I nodded.
“How rough does she like her bondage?”
I fought not to squirm or blush and failed on the second part. It made Olaf smile, and I glared at him. I started to get angry and welcomed it. It was so much better than embarrassment. “Not as rough as you do.” My voice was thick with anger, my skin warm with it.
He undid his seat belt so he could turn and look more fully at Nicky in the backseat. “But she is rough enough to satisfy you?”
“In a group scene with Anita involved, yes.”
The blush that had been fading flared back to life. “And we are done talking about this topic,” I said.
Olaf stared at me with his eyes lost behind the dark sunglasses, but the intensity of his attention was still like weight on my skin. “If we are to date each other, Adler, I need to know certain things.”
“He can ask them when you’re not around, Anita,” Nicky said.
“No, if you’re going to answer, then I need to know what’s said, I think.”
“Even if it makes you incredibly uncomfortable?”
“Even if,” I said, and just like that, I got myself under control. It was just another kind of bravery, and I would be brave, damn it.
“Ask,” Nicky said.
“Do you only have sex with the other women with Anita present?” Olaf said.
“With Angel, yes.”
“What of Pe
tra?”
“She’s one of the ones who’s afraid of me and doesn’t like it rough.”
“So, you haven’t had sex with her?”
“No.”
“Okay, we’re done, right? We have a clue waiting for us, remember?” I said, and reached for the door handle.
“One more question,” Olaf said.
I actually rested my forehead against the window glass. “What?” I asked, and sounded tired even to myself.
“Anita must enjoy sex and bondage rough enough to satisfy you, but does she enjoy it rough enough for me?”
“For me, she’s great,” Nicky said. “Our kinks match up really well.”
“After seeing your videos, I’m surprised that Anita would agree to it.”
“My videos were mostly about work, about being scary enough to make people believe my old lion pride’s threat was good, or as an advertisement to what we could do for prospective customers. The stuff that Anita wouldn’t survive without scars or worse was torture to gain information or to make a business point. That’s what I meant earlier when I said that I enjoyed the interrogation only up to a point. After that point, it was just work.”
I sat there trying to go to that static, white-noise, empty part of me so that I wouldn’t care that a man I was in love with was saying such terrible things. I knew what Nicky was, or what he’d been when I met him. I knew that if I hadn’t possessed him, he’d probably still be happily torturing and killing his way across the world with his old lion pride of mercenaries, but it was still hard to hear him talk so casually about it. I realized that I wasn’t Nicky’s Jiminy Cricket. I was more his road-to-Damascus salvation.
“My videos are what I enjoy,” Olaf said.
“No one would survive that, so no, Anita doesn’t like it rough enough to keep you happy,” Nicky said.
“I would like to try,” Olaf said.
“I’m not sure how we can test your sexual preferences and keep Anita safe,” Nicky said.
“I would be willing to do a vanilla version of what I prefer, if there is such a thing,” Olaf said.
I couldn’t hold on to my peaceful white-noise place.
“Anita is too unhappy with this conversation for me to continue with it,” Nicky said.
“We need to go inside now,” I said. I opened the door and actually got my seat belt unbuckled and a foot outside before Olaf’s deep voice dragged me back.
“I would like your permission to speak with Nicky later in more detail to see if our kinks match.”
“I don’t know what to say to that. The thought of Nicky giving you that many personal details makes me incredibly uncomfortable.”
“But if we are negotiating for actual dating and sex between us, then more shared information is better, isn’t it?”
I glanced back at him and fought to keep the panic from showing on my face.
He smiled then, a wide, happy, predatory one. “Don’t hide your fear from me, Anita. You know I enjoy it.”
And that was it for me. I got out of the car and kept moving. I needed more people around me. I needed not to be the only nonsociopath in the conversation.
55
LEDUC WOULDN’T ALLOW any of the Coalition people, including Nicky, to see the new evidence. It was police evidence, and they weren’t police. None of us could argue with that, so Newman recommended a bed-and-breakfast just up the road. “It’s also the closest and has the most pleasant rooms. There’s a motel just up the way and some Airbnbs, but they aren’t as nice, and I can’t guarantee anything will have rooms.”
Leduc reluctantly agreed and even called the owners of the bed-and-breakfast since he knew them like he seemed to know everybody. They had two rooms available for tonight, and a third would open up tomorrow. Nicky took all three rooms for the time they were available, and Angel called the motel. For security reasons, the SEALs didn’t like splitting the group up.
Olaf asked Nicky, “Why aren’t you worried?”
“I’ll be wherever Anita is tonight, so she’s covered.”
I had a moment of worrying about who would keep the other two women safe. Pierette was one of our guards; she’d put herself up as bait because everyone thought she could take Olaf. The hard feeling in my gut wasn’t so sure. Angel didn’t fit his profile, so I was less worried about her, but once Nicky assured everyone that he’d be by my side when and if I got to sleep, they all stopped arguing about security and just went to check into the rooms at the bed-and-breakfast down the road. There were enough available rooms at the local motel that they didn’t have to call anywhere else. No one kissed me good-bye, because Leduc was there watching for more PDA. Ethan and Angel did make me promise to text or call when the evidence reveal was done.
“We can’t help you with Bobby if we aren’t here,” Angel had said.
“I know and I promise,” I said, and I meant it.
Leduc made us wait until they’d driven away before he’d share the new evidence with us. He punched in a code to unlock a phone and showed us more damning evidence against Bobby: pictures of Jocelyn asleep taken from the angle of someone who was looking down at her or who was next to her. Leduc wouldn’t let the rest of us touch the phone so that the number of extra fingerprints would be lower. I couldn’t argue with his logic, but he was acting as if the proof would actually see a courtroom. Every picture was another nail in Bobby’s coffin, showing he was obsessed with his stepsister. There was even a selfie that Bobby had taken of him smiling up at the camera with Jocelyn obviously asleep beside him. It looked like he’d been sneaking into her room after she fell asleep and taking pictures for at least a month, maybe longer. There was even a video at the end in which he was lying in her disheveled bed with the sheets and covers crumpled around him while he was talking into the camera.
“What’s he saying?” I asked.
“Does it matter?” Sheriff Leduc asked.
He was probably right, but . . . “We’re talking about killing him, so yeah, it matters.”
Leduc didn’t argue again; he just turned the sound up.
“We just made love, and it was amazing. I am so in love with her!” Bobby’s face was full of emotion to match the words. His voice rose. “Nothing. No, just talking to myself, Joshie. Yeah, I know I’m weird. I’m just happy you love me.” He laughed and then sat up, the phone half forgotten in his hand so that the angle was suddenly odd. He was shirtless at the very least, and she was within hearing range. “Anything you say, Joshie,” he said, and then the video ended.
“What more proof do you want that he was obsessed with his own sister?” Leduc asked.
Newman looked pale.
“How did you get the phone?” I asked.
“Helen Grimes, the Marchands’ cook, brought it in, along with her own eyewitness account of the stalking,” Leduc said.
“She’s in the interrogation room waiting to repeat it to the four of us,” Edward said.
“Play the video again first,” Olaf said.
“You’ve seen and heard all of it,” Leduc said.
“I heard all of it, but none of you did.”
“What are you talking about?”
“My hearing is superior to yours. There is another voice on the video.”
“I’m older than any of you, but I’m not losing my hearing, not yet,” the sheriff said.
“Otto’s hearing is better than any straight human’s, Sheriff,” I said.
“You mean because he’s a wereanimal?”
“Yes.”
Edward said, “Let’s hear the video again with the sound all the way up.”
Leduc sighed as if we were all being incredibly demanding, but he did what Edward asked. The video played again, almost too loud. Bobby’s declaration of love sounded worse, crazier, more delusional, and then just at the end, I heard a female voice.
“Pl
ay it again,” I said.
Edward put his ear so it was almost touching the phone. “Anita” was all he said, but I took my turn almost touching the phone, straining to hear, and it was a woman’s voice. I couldn’t have sworn it was Jocelyn Marchand’s voice, but I could hear what she was saying: “What are you doing in there?”
Bobby: “Nothing. No, just talking to myself, Joshie.”
Woman, maybe Jocelyn: “Bobby, you are so weird. I don’t know why I love you sometimes.” She laughed, and I knew it was a sexy or, rather, an after-sex laugh. I heard water start to run. “Come join me in the shower, weirdo.” She gave that sexy, intimate laugh again.
“Anything you say, Joshie.”
Edward said, “Newman or Duke.”
Newman let the sheriff go next. Duke was frowning before he finished listening. He stood up without a word. “What the hell?” he said softly.
Newman listened, and he looked relieved at first. “I’d swear that was Jocelyn’s voice.”
“I’d swear it was, too,” Duke said.
“Then she’s lying,” I said.
“No, she’s not just lying. She’s setting him up,” Edward said.
“Why would she do that?” Newman asked.
“If this was a normal case with no supernaturals involved, what would you say?” Edward asked.
“Money,” Leduc said.
We all looked at him. “If Ray had been shot or stabbed or almost anything else, we’d be following the money,” he said.
“Would the attorneys tell us who stands to gain from Ray’s and Bobby’s deaths?” Newman asked.
“Officially, I think we’d need a warrant, but I know the attorneys Ray used. I coached their sons.”
“We need to know what changes if Bobby dies with Ray,” Newman said.
Leduc nodded. “I’ll try to find out. I just can’t believe Joshie would do something this . . . cold-blooded.”
“We’ll talk to the cook, and then we have to talk to Bobby again,” I said.
“This may not be enough to get another stay of execution, Anita,” Newman said.
“I know.”
“We can’t kill Bobby if we have evidence of a conspiracy to murder by someone else,” Leduc said.
“Conspiracy?” I asked.
Sucker Punch Page 43
