by Alana Terry
“So,” he went on, “have you thought about calling Carl and Sandy? I know they’d love to hear from you.”
There was so much she wanted to tell him, about her conversation with Drisklay, about how Kurtis had gotten in touch with her foster parents. “That would be nice,” was all she replied. She stared out the window and wondered for the second time if she should ask him to turn around. How rude could she be, expecting Kurtis to tow her car all the way to Glennallen for her when she doubted she’d ever return? She had just dumped it in his lap on his day off, expecting him to drag Madeline out of the bath, get her dressed, drive twenty minutes, hook his truck up ... Could she get any more selfish?
She pulled out her phone. “Hey, would it be weird for you if I called just to check in about the car? I feel pretty bad just dropping it on him like that.”
“Of course not.”
Lacy turned on her phone and then flipped it back off. Stupid cell phone reception.
“Not there?” Raphael asked.
“Bad coverage.” Stupid state.
“Want to turn around? Meet him back there?”
The last thing Lacy needed was to be around both Raphael and Kurtis at once. Her life was confusing enough already. She wasn’t technically dating either of them, but on the other hand, she hadn’t broken up with them either. Of course, you can’t break up with somebody who’s been murdered. She’d been right about the detectives faking Raphael’s death. A trick from the folks at witness protection so everyone would think he was murdered until he appeared at the trial. She had waited. Hoped ...
“Why weren’t you there?” she asked quietly.
“What?”
“At the trial,” she explained. “I kept expecting them to call you to testify. I kept hoping you’d show up. But you never did.”
“That’s a good question.” His voice was strained. A little more uncertain. Not like Raphael at all. He glanced over at her and sighed. “Listen, I need to make a confession. You’re not gonna like it.”
Chapter 13
“ABOUT THAT TRIAL ...” Raphael’s fingers tensed on the steering wheel. He scratched the back of his neck. “This isn’t easy to talk about, you know. But I guess you deserve an explanation. So, the short version ... wait, is that my phone beeping or yours?”
Lacy opened her purse. She had missed two calls from Kurtis and one from a blocked number. “Hold on,” she said, unsure if she was ready for whatever Raphael was going to say. “Let me see if I can get any coverage here.”
She called Kurtis back, but it went right to his voicemail. Fine with her. She was already experiencing about as much awkwardness as one person could handle. “What were you saying?”
Raphael adjusted his sunglasses. “So anyway, about the trial. I think for everything to make sense, we need to rewind. Go all the way back to the accident.”
Lacy’s whole body tensed. She didn’t realize she was gripping her seatbelt until her fingers started to hurt.
“There’s a lot about that night you don’t know. And it’s been eating me up since it happened. And, well, it’s not gonna be easy for you to hear.”
The car was rushing. Too fast. She checked the speedometer. Only fifty? It felt like twice that.
“So those men on the dock, everything that happened ...” He swallowed once and reached for her hand which fell limp in his. “It wasn’t an accident. Not really. And I’ve never forgiven myself for it because it was my fault. In a way.”
She wanted him to turn around. Wanted to go home.
“I’d gotten myself into a mess.” The words tumbled out of his mouth. She couldn’t stop them. Like a deadly avalanche. “You know me. You know how I was back then. I wasn’t the smartest kid, made some dumb choices, but I never got into the really bad stuff.”
Lacy felt just like she did on rollercoasters. Everything whizzed by, gaining momentum. There was no way to get off once you were strapped in. The exit came after the ride was over, after your stomach was lodged up in the top of your chest and your throat was sore from screaming and your fingers were numb from gripping your restraint. The only difference was this particular ride wasn’t fun or exciting or adventurous. And there was no way to gauge how long it would last before it ended.
“I had some guys mad at me. I was out of my league. Way out of my league. You know I wasn’t the type to go digging for trouble. I just wanted to live simply. Me, you, my art. I would have been happy with just that. I should have been happy with that. But, well, things happened. I made some bad choices, got mixed up with the wrong people.”
Lacy didn’t care. She wanted him to stop talking. Erase time. Make it so the past four years never happened. People always talked about how struggles make you wiser. More mature. Not the accident. It had robbed her. Stolen her identity, torn her from her boyfriend, and botched her entire future.
Her entire future.
Where would she be now if it hadn’t been for that night in the North End? She’d have finished her bachelor’s degree. She and Raphael would have gotten married, wouldn’t they? Of course, they would. How many art galas had she missed in the past four years? How many concerts? How many Broadway shows? Would she have continued to pursue her acting career? Would anything have come of it?
She’d never know. The accident stripped all that away from her. She had blamed God. Blamed the car. Blamed Drisklay. Blamed the criminals who waltzed into her field of vision to dump a living person into the wharf. In all this time, she had always thought of Raphael as a victim as well.
Had she been mistaken?
“I was going to propose to you that night.”
It was the last thing she wanted to hear. She gripped the handle of the car door, her mind begging for an escape.
“I had the ring in my coat pocket and everything,” he continued. “But I was in this mess I told you about. I had to get away. Lie low for a while. I was gonna tell you all this that night at the pier. I swear ...” His voice caught, and Lacy wanted to clear her throat on his behalf. “I spent so many nights awake, wondering what to do. I couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t eat. Couldn’t paint. I knew I had to skip town. I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving you, but how could I ask you to go with me? Leave your foster family, your classes, everything you’d known.”
Her throat muscles clenched. She would have given up all her plans to be with him, would have given them up in an instant. Instead, every single dream was shattered like broken glass, and she went four years without even knowing if he was alive.
“I took you to the pier to tell you everything. Come clean. Geeze, Lace, you have no idea how messed up I was. I had this show I was supposed to be getting ready for, the one at the Menagerie ...”
“I remember,” she whispered as flooding memories came crashing over her. Suffocating her.
“And I hadn’t been able to paint in two weeks. I was so torn. Finally, I realized all I could do was come clean. Tell you everything. And then, if you’d still have me, I was gonna ask you to leave with me. I had a plan. There was a guy. He was gonna meet me at the pier. He was gonna help us get ...”
“Is that who they killed?” she whispered.
Raphael’s throat worked loudly. “I never meant to get you involved in any of this.” He squeaked out the last words. “I’m so sorry.”
He sniffed. She couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t handle the torrent of emotions that would drown her if she saw his tears.
“You hate me, don’t you?” he asked.
She took in a choppy breath. “I don’t know what you did to make those guys so mad at you.” She thought back over her relationship with Raphael. The romance. Passion. Adventures. Friendship. “All I know is I was in love with you. I would have gone with you anywhere.” She swallowed away a painful lump.
“Anywhere,” she repeated, the word searing hot in her throat.
Chapter 14
LACY’S PHONE RANG, freeing her from the weight of Raphael’s confession. She hesitated and then held up her finge
r to Raphael before answering. “Hello?”
“Jo? It’s me. Where are you?”
Raphael shot her a nervous glance. Was he worried she would change her mind? Why shouldn’t she after what he had just told her?
“We just passed Eureka. Did you find where I left the car?”
“Yeah, and ...”
She strained her ears. “You’re breaking up. Can you say that again?”
More static.
“Hello?” She waited another few seconds and then hung up. Stupid cell reception.
“Everything ok?” Raphael asked.
“Yeah, just a bad signal.” She was so sick of this state, so sick of its backwards technology, its ridiculous bugs. A mosquito the size of a New England housefly landed on her. She slapped it, splattering blood all over herself. “Gross.” She flipped open the glove compartment. “Do you have any napkins or anything?”
The compartment was empty except for a piece of paper from a car rental place with a strange name filled out at the top.
Maxwell Turner? It didn’t sound like Raphael at all. Another imperfect fit. Just like Jo.
She glanced at the form again and saw yesterday’s date stamped in the top corner.
Yesterday’s? Didn’t he say he’d been in Alaska for weeks?
“No, I don’t have anything in there.” Raphael reached to shut the glove compartment.
“Rats.” She forced a laugh. “I hate it when I squash a bloody one.”
Snippets from her conversation with Drisklay ran through her mind. Cover’s blown. Someone getting a little too nosy ... Raphael himself had just admitted to having connections with the murderers on the pier.
“I’m not feeling good.” She tried to make her voice sound natural.
“Need to roll your window down?”
“No, I really think I’m about to be sick. Can you pull over?”
“Sure. Let me just get us to a shoulder.”
She grabbed the door handle. “No, pull over now. I’m gonna throw up.” At the rate things were going, she wouldn’t need to pretend.
“Ok.” He eased to the side of the road. Think. She had to think.
Her cover was blown. Drisklay had flown out here to tell her that. She thought it was Kurtis putting pieces together, calling her foster parents. But what if it was something else? What if she was wrong?
Why would Raphael make up a story about being in Alaska for weeks if he just got here yesterday? He had already acknowledged his connection to the North End criminals. Could he be part of ...
No, this was Raphael. They had spent two and a half years almost inseparable before the accident. They knew everything about each other.
Everything.
He had found her so easily at the Brain Freeze. Like he had known right where to look ...
She was outside of the car, bent over. They couldn’t stay here for long. The road wound so much that cars behind them wouldn’t see them in time to stop. But what could she do? Flag down the next motorist? Take her chances and try to run?
A green car whizzed around a bend, speeding toward them from the opposite side of the road. It slowed down for a second as if the driver knew Lacy was in trouble.
“Oh, no.”
Something about Raphael’s tone sent goose bumps springing up on Lacy’s neck.
“Get in the car.” He reached across and tugged the back of her blouse. “Get in now.” He checked his side mirror nervously. “Buckle up.” He pulled her into the car and slammed on the gas before she could even shut the door.
“What are you doing?”
“We’ve got to go. Now.” His voice was scared. Tense.
That’s when she realized what a horrible mistake she had made. “I changed my mind,” she blurted. “I want to go back.”
“What?”
“Please. My whole life has been in Glennallen. I’m not ready to give all that up yet.”
He took in a deep breath. “I don’t think now’s the best time for ...”
“I was confused. Please. Just take me home.” Her heart was racing. He was going to refuse. He wouldn’t let her go. This had been ...
“Listen.” His voice was strained. His knuckles were white against the steering wheel. “I need you to stay calm and do exactly what I say.”
Her phone beeped, and she pulled it out of her purse, relieved to finally be in an area with reception. She had to tell Kurtis what was happening. She glanced down at the screen. He had left her over a dozen texts over the past twenty-five minutes.
Car’s tampered with. Get back here.
Pick up your phone. Where are you?
Get him to turn around.
Sit tight. We’re on our way.
Chapter 15
“PLEASE TAKE ME BACK.” She heard the anxious edge in her own voice. She had to tone it down. Calm her nerves.
She angled the screen so Raphael couldn’t read the texts. Could she really have misjudged him so drastically? The more she fought against the inevitable conclusion, the more sense it all made. Why he missed the trial. Why he was able to find her so easily in Glennallen. Why Drisklay had come to warn her.
She took in shallow breaths, afraid Raphael could hear how nervous she was. Good thing she had taken so many acting classes. Good thing she had spent four whole years living as another human being. If anyone could keep up a charade to survive, she could. She looked around. Was there anything she could use as a weapon? What if he tried to throw her out the car? On one side of them jutting straight up was the mountain, cruel and unyielding. On the other side a two-hundred-yard drop. She glanced at him without turning her head. Couldn’t arouse his suspicion.
Kurtis, where are you?
“It could have been perfect between us, Lace,” Raphael mused. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to play along or not. “It’s like some gut-wrenching tragedy, where life just gets in the way.”
“Please, I want to go home.” What did she have in her purse? A cell phone. A wallet with her fake ID. What could she do, shove it down his throat?
“You have no idea how much I loved you.”
Either he was just a good an actor as she, or he was planning something desperate. Her lungs worked in fractions. Labored jerks. So much for that deep diaphragm breathing her acting teachers always advocated.
“I just want you to turn around.” Maybe she was wrong. Maybe Drisklay’s visit had hurled her over the edge. Made her paranoid. Tonight she and Raphael would sit across from each other at an Anchorage restaurant and laugh.
Please, God?
Facts didn’t lie. Dates didn’t lie. She had to refocus her energy. Stop trying to deny the truth and find a way to get herself out of this mess alive.
“Turn around.” She spoke each word succinctly. Strongly.
He glanced in the rear-view mirror. “Why?”
“Take me home, or I swear I’m calling the cops.”
“What’s going on, Lace?” he asked. The way he spoke her name made her stomach churn.
She couldn’t do this. Couldn’t pretend anymore. Couldn’t pretend she was calm and collected. Couldn’t pretend she wasn’t scared. So scared she was either going to pee or throw up. Maybe both.
“The date’s wrong.” The accusation tumbled out of her mouth. “The one on your car rental papers. It says you got here yesterday.”
Raphael let out his breath in a loud huff. “That’s because I got tired and decided to drive to Anchorage instead of riding my bike back like I first planned. Geeze, Lace, is this an interrogation?”
She didn’t speak.
He let out a sigh. “After everything we’ve been through together, the least you could do is trust me.”
Could she?
Shame heated her cheeks. She stared at her lap.
He cleared his throat. Threw his glance in the rear-view mirror once more. “It happens to me, too. All the time. Like I think I see someone following me. Or I hear someone trying to break in at night.” His chuckle was discordant. Unconvinci
ng. He patted her knee. “This whole ordeal turned me into a nervous wreck.” He let out his breath.
Her hand still clenched the door handle.
“If you want the whole truth, I’m not up here just to cross Alaska off my bucket list. I was running away.”
Her whole body was tense. The road twisted ahead of them and disappeared around the mountain bend.
“I went to a public art show at the Commons last month and thought I saw someone there. One of the men I’d gotten involved with before the accident.”
She shut her eyes. Could you disappear by sheer force of will?
“A few days later, I thought someone was following me. So I headed out here until I could figure out what to do.”
She didn’t know if she believed him or not. All she knew was she wanted to go home.
“That green Dodge that we passed earlier,” he went on. “I didn’t get a good look, but for a second I thought it was the same guy.” He let out a sad-sounding chuckle. “I told you, this whole way of living will make anybody paranoid.”
A horn blared behind them. Lacy’s eyes shot to her side mirror. It was the same Dodge they had seen. It must have turned around, because now it was directly behind them. Speeding straight toward them.
Raphael swerved into the left lane. They were so close to the drop-off Lacy could feel the front wheel tilt before the car corrected itself.
The Dodge whizzed by and slammed on its brakes in the middle of the road. Raphael tried to pass on the right, but there wasn’t enough room to clear the mountain. The passenger mirror flew off. The whole side of the car scraped against the rocks, the screeching sound grating in her ears even louder than her scream.
The Dodge pressed against them. Was it trying to squeeze them into the mountainside? Raphael slammed on his brakes. Lacy’s body flew forward. The seatbelt jolted against her collarbone. “Who is that?” she demanded.
“It must be someone who knows about us.”
“Us?”
