by R. G. Angel
There had to be a reason which I hope I could find in the journal and help him reconstruct himself before it was too late.
Chapter 11
I woke up on Saturday with a banging headache, which was always the case when I was running on little sleep. With taking care of Archie, cleaning his mess and lying in bed with images of Caleb getting sucked off by that bimbo and my brother’s revelation about my mother playing in my head, I probably slept less than three hours before the maid woke me up saying that my father was expecting me in his office in 15 minutes.
It was good, maybe Archie told him about Caleb’s unfaithfulness, maybe he wanted to free me.
When I made it to the office, my father was sitting behind his desk, his hands flat on the rich mahogany desk, anger and disapproval radiating from him. I had to do my best not to roll my eyes, would that man ever approve of me? Actually, I would much rather he didn’t because if he ever started to approve of me It would mean I was becoming a person I never wanted to become.
Archie was sitting on the leather sofa, showered and perfectly dressed, looking fresh as a daisy. How could he pull that one seeing how trashed he was last night?
He met my eyes quickly, before looking away.
“I’ve been made aware that you drove my car yesterday,” my father announced, redirecting my interest toward him.
I quickly glanced to Archie. What the hell had he told my father?
“Yes…” I trailed off.
He nodded standing from his seat and ambled toward me.
“Why didn’t you ask for permission to take the car, Esmeralda?”
I opened my mouth and closed it again. Did Archie tell him I took the car? I glanced at Archie again who was doing his best to ignore me. I’d thought last night had helped us build a relationship, and now he was throwing me under the bus once more. There was no point hoping now, there was nothing to salvage between us.
“I didn’t think it’d be such a big deal. I’m sorry, father.” Oh, did I hate every word coming out of my mouth. I felt dirty, like I was selling myself.
He nodded, closing the gap between us. “The car you borrowed and damaged is a Ferrari 275 GTB/C Speciale.”
I remained silent, unsure where he was going with that.
“This car, Esmeralda, cost me over $26 million.”
I choked on my saliva. Who the fuck would spend that on a car?
He nodded again as realization hit me, I was not getting out of this room unscathed.
“What do you have to say for your defence?”
What could I say? Blame Archie? I couldn’t help but feel guilty for the abandonment he felt because, for some mysterious reason, my mother intended to leave him behind, or was it even the truth? I expected my father to be the kind of man to lie to a little boy to break his spirit.
“I didn’t know I was not allowed to borrow one of your cars.”
Archie’s head snapped up with surprise
The slap was as forceful as it was expected, I tried to keep my face blank as I could taste the blood in the back of my throat, the slap has been so hard I cut the inside of my cheek on my teeth.
“How did you even damage it?”
“I was very upset and rushed away from the party. Caleb is cheating on me, father.” I tried, maybe that could get me some sympathy points.
“Is he?”
I nodded. “I caught him in the act. I want to break the engagement.”
My father scoffed. “It’s not even official yet.” He turned to Archie. “Could you leave us?”
Archie stood up but hesitated for a minute, keeping his eyes on me.
“Is there anything else you need, Archibald?” my father asked threateningly.
Archie shook his head “No.” He threw me a last look before exiting the room.
“You were saying?”
I shrugged. “As you said our engagement is not official, nothing’s preventing us from breaking it. He cheated on me.”
“You will marry Caleb Astor, Esmeralda. Cheating is not a reason to break things off.”
“It is to me! You’re supposed to be my father, take my side.”
He raised his hand, and I flinched. This small gesture of fear made him smile, and it was enough for him to drop his hand back to his side. He enjoyed seeing the fear, sick bastard.
“Nobody is expecting him to be faithful to you. You’re here to carry his heir, to present nicely and keep the house in working order. You’re here to please him and be what he expects you to be. Do you understand me? Don't make me teach you this the hard way, Esmeralda. Just don’t.”
I looked at him with so much hate that I almost expected him to drop dead at my feet. I was going to run and never look back; I was going to bring him shame at being the runaway daughter and I would enjoy it.
“Yes father, please forgive my mistaken ways.”
He looked at me through narrow eyes. “I’m not sure if you mean that or not but you better be careful.”
I nodded, looking down. “You’re much too powerful for me. I can’t win against you. What’s the point of fighting?”
He sighed as if relieved. “Finally, this is probably one of the most intelligent things you’ve said since you came here. Do not even mention your wish to break this engagement, are we clear?”
I nodded.
“You’re dismissed”
Fuck you. I smiled and exited the room.
I was surprised to find Archie waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. “Your cheek is red, maybe you should put some ice on it to stop it from bruising and swelling,” he said.
I sent him a scathing look and passed him without a word, I was done trying to connect, I was done pretending I didn’t mind.
“Why did you do it? What did you take the fault and the slap?” he insisted, following me up the stairs.
I shrugged. “It doesn't matter anymore, does it, brother? It seems I need to atone for the sins I didn’t know I’d committed. The sins of the fathers shall be visited upon the sons, right? In this case it’s mothers and daughters,” I replied as I stopped in front of my room.
Archie frowned down at me.
“Give it all you have, torture me as much as you want to. If it makes you feel better, I won’t fight it.”
“It’s not-”
I raised my hand to stop him. “I honestly couldn’t care less for what is about to come out of your mouth so please just let it go and move on. I know I have,” I added before slipping into my room and locking the door behind me before he even had a chance to reply.
I settled on the bed, reaching for my mom's journal again.
When I found out that one twin was a girl, I felt both elated and terrified at the news. I was elated because I always dreamed to have a little girl, a mini-me I could dress, pamper and raise into being the strong independent woman I wished my family had raised me to be – somehow a little version of me but better, stronger and now, now I felt I was condemning this little girl to a life of misogynist rules. The more I thought about it, the more guilty I felt. I wanted to save my baby, save my little Esmeralda. I couldn’t have forgiven myself if you grew up to be nothing more than a pretty doll, an asset, a mistreated wife. I wanted you to be happy, free… free to love whoever you wanted, free to be who you wanted to be.
I closed my eyes at the pain seeping into me through these pages. I didn’t know what she sacrificed to get me to Uncle Luke but she died in the process and I would uphold her wishes. I would be free if only to honor her memory. I would fight as much as I could to be free as she’d wanted me to be.
I’d never really understood my mother’s desperation to do what she did, especially the way she did it – lying, hiding, running – but now I started to understand how stuck she felt, how hopeless. I had no choice, I had to run before graduation – I had to disappear and maybe I could use my late mother’s wisdom to do so.
The first thing I would need to get was money, which I didn’t expect to be too hard, I thought as I glance
d toward all the expensive clothes in my wardrobe. But I needed help and that was the issue, the issue I expected my mother had as well. No matter what money I had, I needed someone to help me pull it off, especially when I didn't have any real contact with the outside world.
I was about to resume my reading when the maid informed me that Caleb Astor was on his way and would join me in the little salon.
“Caleb,” I grimaced in both pain and disgust as the images from Friday night resurfaced. I wanted to forget that, and I also wanted to talk with Taylor, I knew she was aware of the engagement and I couldn’t talk to her, couldn’t make sure we were okay – I wouldn’t have a chance to talk to her before tomorrow at school.
I sighed, getting off the bed and making my way quite reluctantly to the salon.
As usual Caleb Astor walked into the room as if he owned it, back as straight as a rod, chin high. This was how I pictured a king walking into a room and in some ways, Caleb was just that.
He was closely followed by a short older man who was holding a suitcase with handcuffs - one attached to the metal handle, the other around his wrist. He was flanked by two massive security guards, with jackets so tight we couldn’t miss the guns in their holsters.
“What’s this all about?” I asked, standing from my spot on the small sofa. “Do I need to get my father?” I somehow wished he would say yes.
He shook his head. “No need.” He pointed to the man behind him. “This is Mr Baker; he is the sales director for Carbonite.”
Carbonite, I remembered, was the diamond brand owned by Taylor’s family.
“OK?”
“He’s here to present you with a selection of engagement rings for you to pick from in case it needs a resize before next Saturday.”
“I see,” I sat straighter. “I appreciate the courtesy of letting me choose.”
He shrugged, pointing to the seat across from mine, a silent invitation for Mr Baker to sit and another tell that he thought this house was his. “I couldn’t care less what you pick Esmeralda, the only thing I’ll do is pay for it. You’re the one who’s going to wear it. It means nothing to me.”
Jab well received asshole, thank you. I thought, putting this information in the ‘why I need to disappear’ folder in my brain.
He joined me on the narrow loveseat, so close that his strong leg brushed against mine. “I also think you need a reminder of who you belong to and what your place is.”
It took all my willpower not to throttle him and punch him in the genitalia. Instead I looked at the man sitting across from me and I smiled, as the perfect hostess. “Thank you for coming here, would you like something to drink?”
Caleb sighed with irritation, glancing at his fancy watch. “This isn’t a social call Esmeralda, you’re not here to entertain the man, he’s paid handsomely to be here.”
The man sent me a grateful look before extending the hand toward one of the security guards who gave him a little silver key.
“I’m sorry for all the added security Miss Forbes,” he said with a kind smile, opening the suitcase and turning it toward me. “As you can see, the contents of this suitcase are highly valuable.”
As much as I wanted to look unperturbed, I couldn't help but gasp at the diamonds sparking at me.
There were about 50 rings in the case, each more opulent than the one before. Based on the size of the diamond I was quite sure they were arranged in increasing value.
In all honestly the ring that caught my eye was the first one, it was the most beautiful ring I'd ever seen. It was in what I assume was white gold – a small pink diamond surrounded protectively by a couple of angel wings. I almost reached for it but stopped myself.
No Esme, not this one. I let my eyes trail to the last ring in the box. It was a white diamond, and it was gigantic, shaped in a sort of oval… I hated it on sight.
“Could you tell me about this one?” I asked pointing at the ostentatious, ugly thing.
The man beamed, and I realised he was probably working on commission as well. “Well that’s a fantastic choice.”
I glanced at Caleb, he was looking at me with a frown as if there was something he couldn’t quite comprehend or make the pieces fit.
“This is a 10-carat cushion-cut diamond, flawless and pure with a platinum band – fit for a Queen, really.”
I patted Caleb’s leg, and I felt the muscles tense under my hand. “Ah well, I’ll be his queen so it’s fitting indeed.”
The man forced a laugh at my bad joke and Caleb tightened his jaws so tightly I could see the muscles bulge.
“It’s the one,” I confirmed as the man took it out of the case and handed it to me.
I put it on my finger, it looked so disproportionate on my small hand and slender finger. It was also so heavy.
“It’s perfect,” I said, and it was – for what I had in mind.
“Are you sure?” Caleb asked, and I didn’t miss the doubt in his voice.
I nodded. “Absolutely.”
Caleb looked at me for a few seconds, his eyes narrowing. “We’ll take it,” he announced keeping his eyes on me.
“Marvellous!”
Caleb gave me a sharp nod before turning to the man. “Give him the ring back, Esmeralda, it will be placed in the safe until the party.”
“Is this really necessary?”
Caleb sighed. “Yes, it is, it is usually the protocol for a ring not yet paid for. How much for the ring?”
“This is a one-of-a-kind diamond, Mr Astor – the purity is perfection and-”
“How much?” Caleb asked, his exasperation even more obvious.
“$350,240.”
I choked on my saliva. “How much?” I gasped.
Caleb nodded. “Perfect, I will organize for the transfer in the morning. Please ensure it is ready for next week’s engagement party.” He turned toward me. “This will be all,” he added dismissing the man with a gesture of his hand.
“Anything else?” I asked once the man was gone and Caleb was still slouching on the sofa like a king. I tried to keep my excitement at bay – this ring was a godsend for my escape fund.
He sat straighter, resting his forearms on his knees. “Do you like the ring, Esmeralda?”
The question felt loaded. “Of course, I do. I picked it, didn’t I?”
“That you did,” he confirmed. “I’ve been generous, don’t you think?”
“Yes, thank you…” I trailed off, not really liking the glint I could see in his eyes.
He stood up, taking an almost-predatory stance, I instinctively took a step back, the desire to flee screaming in me.
“Come closer,” he gestured me invitingly. The smile on his face looked seductive but I knew better.
“Why?” I asked taking another small step back.
“I think I deserve a better thank you. This ring cost the price of a car.”
I couldn't help but laugh at that. “A car? Ah no, Caleb, in my world that ring is the price of quite a big house.”
Caleb’s smile widened as if I’d just played into his hands. “Yeah well, I guess a thank-you kiss wouldn’t be too much to ask, would it?”
“You want to kiss me?” I asked, unable to hide my surprise. Except for the punishing kiss he gave me on the day of our engagement and some of the comments he made to annoy me, he never instigated any physical contact, any intimacy.
He shrugged. “Why not?”
“You don’t like me.”
He took another step toward me, his stance even more predatory. “I don’t need to like you to desire you, Esmeralda.”
I couldn’t help but pucker my mouth in disgust as the image of what happened at the birthday bash came back to the front of my mind.
His desire morphed into anger. “I just bought you a fucking monster ring and you reject me?” He pointed to his chest.
“No,” I shook my head. Don’t anger him Esme. “It’s just – I can’t forget.”
His eyes widened in realization. “Ah, that. D
id you expect me to be a monk?
“No, but –”
“I always wrap it up, and I never kiss them. It’s you now that my lips are eager for.” He smirked.
“How romantic,” I grimaced. I wanted to ask, ‘why me?’ but I was quite sure I wouldn’t like the answer.
“I am who I am, I won’t apologize for it.” He took another step toward me. “Come on, Esmeralda, are you chickening out on me?”
I jutted my chin at the challenge and his eyes glinted with victory. I rested my hands on his forearms, stood on tiptoe and gave him a chaste, closed-mouth kiss.
He wrapped his right arm around me and pulled me against him, making me gasp.
“Don’t think so, sweetheart, I’ll show you a kiss worth 10 carats,” he growled, leaning down and grabbing my bottom lip between his teeth.
He brought his other hand up, grabbing my hair, bending my head back to give him better access and making me feel helpless and like putty in his hand.
He kissed me, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity his insistent, daring mouth was parting my shaking lips, sending tremors along my nerves, once again awakening sensations I had never known I could feel, especially not in his arms. And before I realized what I was doing I was kissing him back, trying to match his passion.
When he broke our kiss, he kept his hands on me, steadying me. “That was worth 10 carats.” He looked as stoic as usual but the deepness in his voice showed that he wasn’t completely unaffected.
“See you at the party, Esmeralda,” he added as his phone rang and he exited the room without a look back.
Chapter 12
“Model Union has been cut short,” Tay exclaimed, pulling me out of the classroom.
“Okay…”
“Do you have to do your Independent Study?”
“No, not really.” To be fair, I was much more advanced than what I had scheduled – one of the advantages of a barely existent social life.
